Let’s face it: making friends as an adult can feel overwhelming. Now, throw sobriety into the mix, and you might think you’re attempting the impossible. But here’s the truth – making sober friends isn’t just possible, it’s a game-changer for your recovery journey and your life. So, let’s dive into how you can build your squad of sober friends without feeling like you’re back in middle school.
Why Sober Friends Matter
Before we jump into the ‘how’, let’s talk about the ‘why’. Surrounding yourself with sober friends isn’t just about having people to hang out with on Friday nights. It’s about creating a support system that gets you. These are the people who won’t pressure you to “just have one drink” or look at you like you’re crazy when you order a mocktail.
Sober friends understand the journey you’re on because they’re on it too. They’re your cheerleaders, your reality check, and your support. Plus, they’re living proof that life doesn’t end when the drinking stops – it gets better.
1. Embrace the Power of Recovery Meetings
Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Isn’t that just for people with ‘real’ problems?” Nope. Recovery meetings, whether it’s AA, SMART Recovery, or another program, are gold mines for making sober friends. Here’s why:
- Everyone’s there for the same reason: to stay sober and improve their lives.
- It’s a judgment-free zone. Your story is safe here.
- Regular meetings mean regular opportunities to connect.
Tip: Don’t just dash out after the meeting. Stick around for the coffee and chat. That’s where the real connections happen.
2. Dive into Sober Social Media
Welcome to the digital age of sobriety. Instagram, Facebook, and even TikTok are bursting with sober communities. Start by following hashtags like #SoberLife, #RecoveryPosse, or #SoberIsSexy. Comment on posts, engage in discussions, and don’t be shy about sliding into DMs (respectfully, of course). Bonus: Many online sober communities organize meetups. It’s like online dating, but for friends, and with less awkward small talk about your job.
3. Explore Sober Events and Meetups
Believe it or not, there’s a whole world of sober events out there. From sober raves (yes, they exist) to alcohol-free book clubs, there’s something for everyone. Check out websites like Meetup.com or Facebook Events for sober gatherings in your area.
4. Volunteer Your Way to Sober Friends
Volunteering isn’t just good for the soul; it’s great for making sober friends. Look for opportunities at local recovery centers, sober living homes, or even animal shelters (because who doesn’t bond over cute puppies?). The best part? You’re already starting off with a shared interest and value.
5. Find a Health or Wellness Community
Fitness communities are often hotbeds for sober friendships. Join a running club, sign up for yoga classes, or try that weird-looking workout class at your gym. Exercise releases endorphins, making you feel good naturally – no alcohol required. Bonus: You’re improving your health and making friends. It’s a win-win.
6. Become a Regular Somewhere
Find a coffee shop, bookstore, or juice bar you like and become a regular. Strike up conversations with the staff and other patrons. Over time, you’ll start to recognize familiar faces and build connections. Be patient and consistent.
7. Be Open About Your Sobriety
This one might feel scary, but it’s crucial. Being open about your sobriety does two things:
- It helps you find your community faster. Other sober people will gravitate towards you.
- It weeds out people who might not support your journey.
You don’t need to wear a “I’m Sober” t-shirt (unless you want to – no judgment here), but don’t be afraid to mention it when it comes up naturally in conversation.
8. Host Your Own Sober Gatherings
Take the bull by the horns and organize your own sober events. Movie nights, game nights, potluck dinners – the possibilities are endless. Invite people you’ve met through other sober activities and encourage them to bring friends. Pro tip: Make it clear in the invite that it’s an alcohol-free event. This sets expectations and ensures everyone’s on the same page.
9. Try Apps Designed for Sober Friends
Yes, there are apps for that! Platforms like Sober Grid, Loosid, and I Am Sober not only help you track your sobriety but also connect you with other sober individuals in your area. Think of it as Tinder, but for sober friendships.
10. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself
Making friends takes time, whether you’re sober or not. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with everyone right away. Keep putting yourself out there, and remember – quality over quantity. One genuine sober friend is worth more than a hundred drinking buddies.
Wrapping It Up
Making sober friends might seem daunting at first, but it’s totally doable and absolutely worth it. These connections can be the cornerstone of your recovery and the beginning of some of the most authentic relationships of your life. You can keep reading my book, Not Drinking Tonight for more info on how to make sober friends! If you are looking for additional support on your sober journey, Therapy for Women Center has a number of therapists who specialize in sobriety as well.
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