No matter how old we get, it seems that August always brings up feelings of new beginnings. The sun is shining and trees are green, but we can’t seem to shake the thought that there is a shift in the air. With fall on the way, it’s a feeling we can sometimes still experience as adults. Our brains have learned that this time of year means new routines are starting. It can be both exciting and scary. Regardless of what grade your child is entering, it is common for teens to feel back to school anxiety. I would know, just ask my mom.
Normalize Their Back to School Anxiety
Your teen may feel a general sense of unease the few days before school begins. It is important to remember that back to school anxiety is a combination of excitement and nerves! It makes sense to feel both of these things. Help your teen by acknowledging these feelings about the transition. However, a lot of times anxiety can feel like a sense of impending doom. You can help them hold space for the overwhelming feelings by offering support; “I know it feels scary, you’ve got this”. As much as you want to solve the anxiety for them, know that it is okay to let them sit in the discomfort.
Offer them support in normalizing the feelings. The last thing an anxious teen (or really any teen) wants is an onslaught of questions. In fact, anxiety is only as harmful as we let it be. As illustrated in this summer’s blockbuster hit “Inside Out 2”, if we work to root ourselves in Joy rather than imagined scenarios, anxiety will lessen.
Model Excitement and Kindness
Once you have helped them acknowledge both feelings, we can start to feed the excitement to let it grow. I may be in my 30s but I still feel the tingle of walking down the school supply aisle every year. Get them excited about starting a new grade by emphasizing how proud you are of what they have accomplished. By showing them self kindness, we can teach our kids resilience against their anxiety.
Help them pick out a specific first day of school outfit to be excited about, or a new pack of really cool pens. Make a ritual out of an end of summer activity to help your kid transition into saying farewell to the time off. That could be a themed dinner at home, or take a fun family trip to cement the end of the summer break. Creating a ritual can help lessen the shock of a brand new schedule and ease their back to school anxiety.
Practice The Transition
For some kids, it may also be helpful to start the week before school transitioning back into the school year groove. A regular bedtime can help combat the fatigue of the ungodly morning hours. Keep talking to your teenager about school and help them get back in the mindset of a Monday-Friday routine. Explain to them what to expect and ways in which things may look different. Additionally, focus on their strengths to help ground them in old skills to cement that they are capable of doing hard things!
Seek Therapy for Back to School Anxiety
If you see your teen continues to struggle, remember it is okay to reach out for help. School counselors can be a great lifeline for these transitional periods. They can help refer you to resources should your child need more support. At Therapy for Women Center, we have licensed therapists who are experts at working with teens and their families. We would be honored to work with your teen and support them with back to school anxiety. Click here to learn more about our approach.
As hard as it may be to see your child struggle after a fun summer, remind yourself too that anxiety is not something to be afraid of. The beginning of the year is stressful so there is no need to be concerned when feelings may arise. Above all, model self kindness for hard feelings to help your kids normalize strong emotions and remember to seek support if needed.
Becca Adlerberg, LPC is a licensed therapist specializing in working with women and teens with anxiety, ADHD, and LGBTQ+ issues. She is a virtual therapist licensed in Pennsylvania and Vermont. Click here to learn more about her.
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