When parents first contact me about a teen addicted to social media, they often imagine their child endlessly scrolling in a dark room. This day and age, it is almost impossible to find a teenager without a smartphone. From texting their friends to accessing endless apps, many parents come to me worried that their teen is spending too much time on their phone and online.
I tend to take a rather controversial stance when parents fear their teen is addicted to social media. The data suggests it’s rare for kids to be legitimately addicted. While many articles and clickbait headlines may tell you otherwise, research shows that most teens do feel they can put down the phone when needed. However, it’s important to note, research has shown that kids 13 or under can show more serious negative side effects to social media.
There Are Positive Effects of Social Media On Teens
Social media provides connection and community for teenagers. Sharing memes or TikToks are just another way for teens to have a conversation.
With how online the world is, kids need to be “in the know” in order to engage in daily conversation. It gives them access to slang and trends that would otherwise leave them left out. It can also help foster creativity and a sense of self. They have the opportunity to be inspired by styles or genres they otherwise would not have access to. For LGBTQ+ teens, social media can be a lifeline in small towns to know that there are others out there like them.
Before assuming your teen is addicted to social media, consider that most social media use isn’t harmful when used appropriately. However, it is important that we set boundaries with our kids about phone use. In my previous blog post, I discussed the importance of safety and mindfulness. Click here to read it. Once we have cemented those concepts, we can talk about how often our kids are using their phones.
Setting Healthy Boundaries For Teens On Phones
Lay the foundation of rules for screen time before kids even get a cell phone. Decide as a family what you want phone usage to look like and set some ground rules. Are phones allowed at the dinner table? Can they keep their phones charging in their rooms? Boundaries allow teens to have expectations on what is acceptable and what is not.
Bring them into the conversation and ask their opinions. If we set the precedent that there are certain times during the day that are phone free, we can reinforce that technology is not an “all of the time” thing. As a parent, you have a right to make definitive statements about the rules in your home.
Being strict about your teenager’s social media consumption won’t always protect them in the way we may think. Even if your own teen does not have a phone, this does not mean that they can’t access the internet in different ways. It makes sense to want to shield them from the dangers of things online. However, if you have continued open conversations with your kids they will be more likely to tell you about things they’ve seen. Keep lines of communication open, but don’t prod. If you create a safe space, your teens is more likely to come to you with questions before you have to ask them.
Overall, as the parent, you make the rules, but remember it can be a collaborative process. While parents often worry about having a teen addicted to social media, resistance to rules makes sense. Remember to stand your ground, but also try not to make them wrong. It is developmentally normal for your child to want more freedom and independence as they grow.
Key Takeaways About Teen Social Media Use:
- Most teenagers aren’t truly addicted to social media
- Social media provides important social connections
- Set clear boundaries together as a family
- Keep communication open and judgment-free
- Focus on teaching responsible use rather than strict control
If you want to learn more about helping your teen develop healthy social media habits, contact us today for guidance and support.
Becca Adleberg, LPC is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women specializing in working with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, OCD, and body image. Learn more about her here.
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