Worrying is sneaky! It tells us that if we plan out all the ways something will go wrong, we will be more “prepared”. Worrying tells us that planning for negative outcomes is sensible because it shields us from being “blind sighted”. The TRUTH is worry is in bed with ANXIETY. We may feel better temporarily […]

  What is the happiness trap? YOUR BRAIN IS NOT WIRED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED TO SURVIVE. Here’s the deal…. Our society teaches us that being happy all the time is “normal” and that should be our baseline. This is something called the “happiness trap” (coined by Russ Harris). But this notion […]

Whether we are talking about relationships with friends, parents or significant others, there is a disturbing communication trend I’ve been seeing in my office and in the world lately. I call it….”taking away people’s pain”.  If you or someone you know struggles with this, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy or DBT may be helpful for you.  This trend typically starts when we are […]

I was sitting in an AA big book meeting roughly a year ago. I opened the cover and scribbled on the first page read “willingness without action is fantasy.” The quote hit me in the stomach. Sometimes we need that in recovery…a wake up call. The quote found me at exactly the right time. Since grad school I […]

Have you seen the Amy Schumer’s “I’m so Bad” sketch on Comedy Central? ​Its a genius parody striking back at food shaming in the media. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, go to youtube it… I will wait. Let me recap it for you. 4 women sitting at a restaurant sharing about how “bad” they […]

I spent years beating myself up. I thought if I was harsh and mean to myself, I could beat myself into submission, make my current mental state so intolerable that I would be forced to change. Instead, it had the opposite affect. The meaner I was to myself, the more I acted out… alcohol, food, […]