Becca Adleberg, LPC

Is Your Teen Addicted to Social Media? A Fresh Perspective From a Therapist

When parents first contact me about a teen addicted to social media, they often imagine their child endlessly scrolling in a dark room. This day and age, it is almost impossible to find a teenager without a smartphone. From texting their friends to accessing endless apps, many parents come to me worried their teen addicted to social media.

I tend to take a rather controversial stance when parents fear their teen is addicted to social media. The data suggests it’s rare for kids to be legitimately addicted. While many articles and clickbait headlines may tell you otherwise, research shows that most teens feel they can put down the phone when needed. However, it’s important to note, research has shown that kids 13 or under can show more serious negative side effects to social media.

Social media provides connection and community for teenagers. Sharing memes or TikToks are just another way for teens to have a conversation.

With how online the world is, kids need to be “in the know” in order to engage in daily conversation. It gives them access to slang and trends that would otherwise leave them left out. It can also help foster creativity and a sense of self. They have the opportunity to be inspired by styles or genres they otherwise would not have access to. For LGBTQ+ teens, social media can be a lifeline in small towns to know that there are others out there like them.

Before assuming your teen is addicted to social media, consider that most social media use isn’t harmful when used appropriately. However, it is important that we set boundaries with our kids about phone use. In my previous blog post, I discussed the importance of safety and mindfulness. Click here to read it. Once we have cemented those concepts, we can talk about how often our kids are using their phones.

Setting Healthy Boundaries That Work

Lay the foundation of rules for screen time before kids even get a cell phone. Decide as a family what you want phone usage to look like and set some ground rules. Are phones allowed at the dinner table? Can they keep their phones charging in their rooms? Boundaries allow teens to have expectations on what is acceptable and what is not.

Bring them into the conversation and ask their opinions. If we set the precedent that there are certain times during the day that are phone free, we can reinforce that technology is not an “all of the time” thing. As a parent, you have a right to make definitive statements about the rules in your home.

Being strict about your child’s social media consumption won’t always protect them in the way we may think. Even if your own teen does not have a phone, this does not mean that they can’t access the internet in different ways. It makes sense to want to shield them from the dangers of things online. However, if you have continued open conversations with your kids they will be more likely to tell you about things they’ve seen. Keep lines of communication open, but don’t prod. If you create a safe space, your teens is more likely to come to you with questions before you have to ask them.

Overall, as the parent, you make the rules, but remember it can be a collaborative process. While parents often worry about having a teen addicted to social media, resistance to rules makes sense. Remember to stand your ground, but also try not to make them wrong. It is developmentally normal for your child to want more freedom and independence.

Key Takeaways About Teen Social Media Use:

Most teens aren’t truly addicted to social media
Social media provides important social connections
Set clear boundaries together as a family
Keep communication open and judgment-free
Focus on teaching responsible use rather than strict control

If you want to learn more about helping your teen develop healthy social media habits, contact us today for guidance and support.

Becca Adleberg, LPC is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women specializing in working with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, OCD, and body image. Learn more about her here.

The Importance of Social Media Safety for Teens: A How to Guide for Parents

The internet is a vast and strange place. You can watch a video of a baby hippopotamus pretending to eat with her mom and somehow end up down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. Despite its nuance, social media has become integral in this day and age to stay connected. This means that as much as we would like to avoid it, our teenagers will be on it. Let’s explore social media safety for teens and tips you can use as a parent that will help protect your teens while keeping communication open.

teen girl with a cell phone needing help with social media safety

The conversation about social media safety for teens may begin with an “UGH,” but remember – it’s better to have them informed and maintain open dialogue. Let’s focus on two essential areas: mindful scrolling and social media safety tips.

Mindful Scrolling: More Than Just Memes

With countless weird memes flooding their feeds, we want to ensure teens absorb positive content. Here’s how to approach different types of content:

Concerning Content:
Let’s talk about real examples, like diet culture and body image. There are countless creators offering “nutrition” advice without credentials, mainly promoting dangerous ideas about “being skinny” and skipping meals. While parents might want to jump in with “but you are beautiful the way you are!” try this instead:

Open a broader conversation about why they feel pressure to skip meals
Discuss what healthy nutrition looks like
Offer professional help if needed
Consider consulting a therapist or nutritionist if patterns persist

Harmless but Strange Content:
Some content might seem bizarre but causes no real harm. For example, I’ll never understand “skibidi toilet” myself, but there’s nothing dangerous about its strangeness. Your teens can often judge these things for themselves. Try to:

Research trending topics before forming opinions
Avoid quick judgments
Offer new perspectives
Accept that while being called a “sigma” might drive you crazy, it’s actually a compliment… I think!

Essential Social Media Safety for Teens

While technology connects us globally, we must be thoughtful about online communications. Many teens use social media to find like-minded peers worldwide. Instead of jumping to “Dateline” scenarios, try these social media safety tips:

Building Trust and Safety:

Use relatable real-life safety parallels
Explain the importance of verifying online identities
Avoid scary warnings about “creepy old men”
Encourage video chatting for verifying online friends
Ask casual questions about their online relationships

Smart Social Media Safety Practices:

Discuss privacy settings across different platforms
Talk about what information is safe to share
Help them understand digital footprints
Guide them in recognizing suspicious behavior

Creating Open Dialogue:

Show interest in their online activities
Ask about accounts they follow
Discuss videos they watch
Share your own observations without judgment
Keep conversations flowing naturally

Balancing Freedom with Protection

Remember that online friends aren’t uncommon in today’s world. Instead of prohibiting these connections:

Ask questions casually to learn more
Encourage safe verification methods
Show interest in their online communities
Guide them toward safe practices

Putting It All Together

With mindful scrolling and proper social media safety tips for teens in mind, we can help teens use technology healthily. Trust that we’ve taught them how to stay safe, while helping them develop their own opinions and beliefs. This gives them the tools they need to navigate the internet confidently.

The key to social media safety for teens isn’t constant monitoring or strict rules – it’s building trust, maintaining open communication, and helping them develop critical thinking skills. While you might not understand every trend or meme, staying engaged and supportive helps ensure your teen’s online experience remains positive and safe.

Remember: That “UGH” at the beginning of your conversation might transform into meaningful dialogue about their digital world. Keep the door open, stay curious, and guide them toward safe online practices.

To learn more about our approach to working with teens, click here or get started with an appointment.

Becca Adleberg, LPC is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women specializing in working with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, OCD, and body image. Learn more about her here.

How To Manage Back to School Anxiety with Teens

4 teens starting the school year feeling back to school anxiety — High angle view of a group of high school friends hanging out after class

No matter how old we get, it seems that August always brings up feelings of new beginnings. The sun is shining and trees are green, but we can’t seem to shake the thought that there is a shift in the air. That ominous vibe is a feeling we can sometimes still experience as adults. Our brains have learned that this time of year means new routines are starting. However, regardless of what grade your child is entering, it is common for teens to feel back to school anxiety. I would know, just ask my mom.

Normalize Their Back to School Anxiety

Your teen may feel a general sense of unease the few days before school begins. It is important to remember that anxiety is a combination of excitement and nerves! It makes sense to feel both of these things. Help your teen by acknowledging these feelings about the transition. However, a lot of times anxiety can feel like a sense of impending doom. You can help them hold space for the overwhelming feelings by offering support; “I know it feels scary, you’ve got this”. As much as you want to solve the anxiety for them, know that it is okay to let them sit in the discomfort.

Offer them support in normalizing the feelings. The last thing an anxious teen (or really any teen) wants is an onslaught of questions. In fact, anxiety is only as harmful as we let it be. As illustrated in this summer’s blockbuster hit “Inside Out 2”, if we work to root ourselves in Joy rather than imagined scenarios, anxiety will lessen.

Model Excitement and Kindness

Once you have helped them acknowledge both feelings, we can start to feed the excitement to let it grow. I may be in my 30s but I still feel the tingle of walking down the school supply aisle every year. Get them excited about starting a new grade by emphasizing how proud you are of what they have accomplished. By showing them self kindness, we can teach our kids resilience against their anxiety.

Help them pick out a specific first day of school outfit to be excited about, or a new pack of really cool pens. Make a ritual out of an end of summer activity to help your kid transition into saying farewell to the time off. That could be a themed dinner at home, or take a fun family trip to cement the end of the summer break. Creating a ritual can help lessen the shock of a brand new schedule.

Practice The Transition

For some kids, it may also be helpful to start the week before school transitioning back into the school year groove. A regular bedtime can help combat the fatigue of the ungodly morning hours. Keep talking to your teenager about school and help them get back in the mindset of a Monday-Friday routine. Explain to them what to expect and ways in which things may look different. Additionally, focus on their strengths to help ground them in old skills to cement that they are capable of doing hard things!

Seek Therapy for Back to School Anxiety

If you see your teen continues to struggle, remember it is okay to reach out for help. School counselors can be a great lifeline for these transitional periods. They can help refer you to resources should your child need more support. At Therapy for Women Center, we have licensed therapists who are experts at working with teens and their families. We would be honored to work with your teen and support them with back to school anxiety. Click here to learn more about our approach.

In conclusion, as hard as it may be to see your child struggle after a fun summer, remind yourself too that anxiety is not something to be afraid of. The beginning of the year is stressful so there is no need to be concerned when feelings may arise. Above all, model self kindness for hard feelings to help your kids normalize strong emotions and remember to seek support if needed.

Becca Adlerberg, LPC is a licensed therapist specializing in working with women and teens with anxiety, ADHD, and LGBTQ+ issues. She is a virtual therapist licensed in Pennsylvania and Vermont. Click here to learn more about her.

Therapy for Teens: How to Talk to Your Teen About Therapy

Has your teen been struggling with their mental health? Are they experiencing moodiness, social struggles, school avoidance, or difficulty concentrating? Your teen does not need to have an official mental health diagnosis in order to benefit from therapy for teens. Being able to support a teenager before they end up struggling with more complicated issues is a great time to get them into therapy. Conversely, if they are struggling with more serious symptoms like anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, substance use or eating struggles, therapy for teens can also help!

Teen with pink hair in therapy for teens virtually

As a caregiver, it can be scary to know where to start, let alone to try to convince your teen about the importance of therapy. Starting therapy is a big step for the whole family. We know it can feel intimidating to get started. If you are a caregiver, you play a big role in helping your teen understand the benefits of therapy. You can also help them feel comfortable before their first session. This makes it more likely that they will be interested in attending sessions and will make therapy more effective. At Therapy for Women, we aim to support you through this process. Keep reading to learn our best tips.

How to Approach Your Child About Therapy for Teens

Steal our favorite metaphor. You teenager is likely used to going to the doctor when they don’t feel physically well. Similarly, you can explain that therapy is a place they can attend when they do not feel emotionally well. We all need support with our health at different times in our lives. And there is no shame in attending therapy in order to get extra support and tools. Attending therapy does not mean there is anything wrong with your teen. And it is important to tell them this.

Some teenagers may be concerned that you think there is something wrong with them if you suggest therapy. Emphasize that you believe they could use some extra support, just like if we need some extra care of support with school. Remember, therapy is a common and ordinary tool people use. If you have been to therapy before, it can be powerful to share your experience with them. Normalize the experience much like you would going to the doctor.

If you are suggesting this, be honest about the reasons why you feel therapy could be beneficial for them. Have you noticed they have been spending more time alone? Are they trying to avoid going to school? Are they quick to anger and seem irritated by everything and everyone? Is your teen sleeping a lot more or less? All of these can be warning signs that they are struggling with their mental health. Address the reasons you think talking to someone could be helpful. A teen or adolescent ages 10 or above will be more likely to appreciate transparency in the conversation.

A teen girl sitting on a couch attending therapy for teens

Addressing Fears and Concerns About Therapy for Teens

It is normal and expected that your teen may have fears or concerns about therapy. Let them know that these fears are normal! Validate their feelings and reassure them that just because they are nervous, does not mean that is it not worth going. Give them more information about their therapist and how you think the first session will go.

You can share where they are going, the therapist’s name, and answer any questions that they may have. Let them know that what they share in therapy is private and confidential. The therapist will only share information with them if necessary. And you are not using therapy to try to get private information about them.

If your teen still seems resistant, or unsure that’s okay, too. It’s normal for them to feel that they don’t need therapy or do not believe that it will help them. Let me know they can start with just one session. It is okay to try it and then you call can determine whether the therapist is the right fit.

Concluding Thoughts

It can feel uncomfortable to talk your teen about going to therapy. However, in order to have them get the support they need, it is important to talk to them. If you approach this conversation honestly, with empathy and compassion, it will alleviate some of their initial fears. Remember, therapy is a valuable resource for teens and can empower them to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and strength.

At Therapy for Women, we specialize in working with teens on a wide variety of issues, from anxiety, depression, ADHD, eating disorders, OCD, substance use and more. We would be honored to help!

What is Burnout and How to Feel Better

Burnout is a hot-button word. But many people ask, “what is burnout?” Many of us are not even clear on the definition of it, let alone how to cope with it. This blog post will break it all down.

What is Burnout Exactly?

Herbert Freudenberger defined burnout in 1974. He defined it as a “state of mental and physical exhaustion caused by one’s professional life.” His research was groundbreaking in discovering that work can significantly cause stress. In 2023, that statement makes most of us go, “Duh.” This no longer exists in the workplace, as it can be relevant in many facets of our lives.

Relationships, friendships, wedding planning- all of these things can cause chronic stress that can end in burnout. Societal constraints keep us trapped in this never-ending cycle of stress. We now understand that stress is a chronic condition and that burnout results from said stress becoming way too much.

woman stretching her back on floor asking herself "what is burnout?"

So, what is burnout?

When stressed, we have elevated cortisol and adrenaline.

The adrenaline causes rapid heart rate and heightens your blood pressure, while cortisol puts you into fight or flight by boosting your anxious energy. When the body constantly feels this way, it can become “too much,” which results in the three main components of burnout as defined by Dr. Christina Maslach. The Maslach Burnout Inventory defined the phenomenon in 3 parts: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment. For some, specific components may be more prominent than others. For example, a stressed-out kindergarten teacher with too many kids in their classroom and a never-ending pile of paperwork may feel super connected to their students but feel like they “can’t do anything right.”

Due to this phenomenon, it has been discovered that we must focus on reducing stress than eliminating our burnout. Due to the elevated cortisol levels and adrenaline pumping through our veins, research has shown that we need to end the stress cycle when it occurs. It’s the difference between letting out that loud sneeze and holding it in. We need to finish it when it starts to take the pressure off.

Here are some concrete ways to help with burnout:

1. Physical Movement: Doing some Movement can be beneficial in ending the stress cycle because it helps our bodies replicate the “flight” response and tires us out, reducing our adrenaline.

2. Deep Breathing: A breath is another excellent way to help regulate the nervous system. For example, try a square breath: in for four, hold for four, out for four, and hold for four.

3. Crying: Honestly, this one is just as helpful! Crying reduces cortisol and can lessen our stress.

It is important to remember that stress is chronic and cannot be resolved with simple steps. It is essential to work to identify the root of the pressure with a therapist to eliminate the struggle.

Becca specializes in anxiety, depression, adolescents, OCD, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Becca, read her bio here.

Our Most Helpful Tips for Establishing a Self-Care Routine

Ah, self-care routines.

Did the image of someone with a clay face mask on and cucumbers for eyes appear in your mind? I think of a woman with her hair wrapped in a purple towel and an annoying, blissful smile on her face. There’s also tranquil spa music playing in the background as she sips water infused with fruit, not a care in the world.

The American beauty industry tells us these things are the key to relaxation and “self-care”. If you can slip into your silk robe after a nightly lavender scented bubble bath you will be a more productive and happier human. But for someone with sensitive skin and a hatred of lavender, that routine just doesn’t do it for me. So what next?

Self-care has no strict definition.

But it can be best explained by the small daily habits one establishes to ensure their well-being. It is obtuse and also deeply personal. The reason face masks and fruit water have not cured the stress epidemic we are facing is because everyone needs to establish their own self-care routines.

Throughout my practice as a therapist, I have learned the importance of helping clients find the individual things that make them feel as though they are caring for themselves. I start the practice by encouraging them to integrate small moments of daily joy. For example, something as simple as having a short dance party in the living room, to larger things like getting a good night’s sleep. However, broadly speaking self-care should focus on two main areas; physical and psychological well-being.

For me, the bulk of my self-care is my morning routine. I try to start each morning by moving my body. My favorite way to do so is what I have affectionately coined “the waddle.” It’s a combo walk/run where I stop to pet every friendly dog whose owner will let me. This helps nurture both my physical and psychological well being. My body appreciates the movement, and my heart appreciates how many dogs wear sweaters in the wintertime! Nothing extravagant or costly, just simple joys.

To establish your own self-care routines, think about what you need for your body and brain to feel good. I always tell my clients they can start as small as eating a piece of chocolate. Give yourself permission to do things that feel restorative.

Start with these three tips.

Movement. Find something that feels good for you in moving your body. I’m serious about the dance party! It has been scientifically proven that dancing helps reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. It also increases the feel good chemical dopamine in our brains. Turn on some tunes, and bust a move in the name of self-care.

Sleep. Much like our bodies need movement, they also need sleep. It is extremely important that we get a good night’s rest, every night. Sleep is not only enjoyable, but it enables our brains and bodies to recover.

Mindfulness. The day-to-day can sometimes feel overwhelming. So, it is important that we take time every day for ourselves to be mindful of how we are feeling. A simple one minute pause once we notice we are stressed can help eliminate more negative feelings. A square breath can be helpful: breathe in for four seconds, hold for four, out for four, and hold for four. Taking that step back from our situation can ground us in our day and reduce the overwhelm.

In the end, self-care should be an independent exercise that looks different for everyone. Take these tips to start building your own self-care practice!

Becca specializes in adolescents, OCD, LGBTQ+ mental health, anxiety, and depression. To learn more about Becca, read her bio here.

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