Grief is a profound, complex emotion that everyone will experience at some point in their life. While grief is a universal experience, it can affect everyone differently. One of the most perplexing aspects is how it feels as though there are waves of grief. Understanding why grief presents this way, and learning how to navigate it, is essential for healing.
Why Does Grief Come in Waves?
Grief is not a linear process. It does not follow a specific timeline, and there is no “right or wrong” way to grieve. Rather, grief comes in waves, or moments of intense emotion that can feel overwhelming, followed by periods of calm. This up and down can feel confusing, but remember that it is natural.
The Brain’s Processing Mechanism
When we experience loss, our brain works to process and make sense of it. However, our brains cannot handle the full weight of grief all at once. To protect us, it processes grief in segments, leading to wavelike experiences. During moments of calm, the brain is essentially giving itself a break, allowing us to function in our daily lives before the next wave hits.
Triggering Memories
Grief is triggered through memories, smells, sights, or tastes, and anniversaries. Triggers can appear suddenly, without warning, causing an unexpected wave of grief to wash over you. Even years after the loss, these triggers can still cause strong emotions. Grief is an ongoing, evolving experience.
Emotional Energy Release
Emotions are essentially energy, and grief is one of the most powerful emotional energies we can experience. Similar to actual waves in an ocean, this energy can build up over time and eventually needs to be released. When a wave of grief hits, it’s the body and mind’s way of releasing that pent-up emotional energy. This release can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a necessary part of the healing process.
Resilience
The wavelike nature of grief also reflects human resilience. Our emotions are in a constant state of fluctuation, and while grief can feel all-consuming, our minds and bodies are designed to seek balance. After a wave of intense grief, there can be a moment of emotional recovery. This cycle allows us to continue living and finding moments of peace and happiness in the midst of sorrow.
Navigating the Waves of Grief
Acknowledge the Grief
It’s important to acknowledge the pain rather than suppressing it. Recognize that these waves are a natural part of the process, and it’s okay to feel them. Trying to ignore or push away grief is only going to lead to prolonged healing and emotional turmoil.
Lean on Support Systems
Grief can feel incredibly isolating, but remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes just knowing that someone else understands what you’re going through can make a big difference.
Rituals of Remembrance
Finding ways to honor the loss that you’re grieving can be a great way to process your emotions. This could look like writing, creating art, lighting a candle, or making a memorial. These acts can provide comfort and connection.
Allow Moments of Happiness
Grief does not mean you have to be sad all the time. Allow yourself to feel moments of joy, laughter, and happiness. Feeling these moments does not suppress your grief. It just allows you a moment of fresh air and the chance to build resilience to intense emotions.
Seek Mental Health Support for Waves of Grief
If the waves of grief become too overwhelming or persistent, seeking help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. Professional support can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your grief and move towards healing. Through time, patience, and professional support, you can effectively navigate the waves of grief. If you need help to navigate your grief, reach out today to schedule an appointment. At Therapy for Women Center, we have a number of therapists who specialize in grief and we would love to help you.
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