Amanda White, LPC

How to Navigate Trauma Anniversary Reactions: The Ultimate Self Care Guide

Living with trauma isn’t linear, and many of us struggle on our trauma anniversary. Our reactions can catch us off guard – whether it’s a specific date, season, or time of year that brings back difficult memories. As a therapist working with young women in Philadelphia and Florida, I’ve seen how these anniversary reactions impact many of us, but there are ways to move through them with self-compassion and support.

Woman feeling triggered by her trauma anniversary.

What is a Trauma Anniversary?

A trauma anniversary marks the date or time period when a significant traumatic event occurred. Your body and mind might remember this date even if you consciously try not to think about it. During these times, you might notice increased anxiety, changes in sleep patterns, or feeling emotionally raw – and that’s completely normal.

7 Ways to Care for Yourself During a Trauma Anniversary

1. Plan Ahead

Think of your body as having its own calendar. Just like your phone sends you reminders, your body keeps track of significant dates and can trigger responses like increased heart rate, changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, or unexpected mood shifts. Mark these dates in your calendar. This simple act helps you prepare and gather support before the anniversary arrives. You don’t need to face these days unprepared.

2. Create a Comfort Tool Kit

Build a personalized collection of grounding items:

Soft blankets or weighted blankets
Calming scents or essential oils
Favorite playlists
Photos of happy memories
Journal and colored pens

3. Set Boundaries

Remember, you get to decide what you need during this time. This might mean taking time off work, limiting social media, or saying no to extra commitments.

4. Move Your Body Mindfully

Physical movement can help release stored tension through gentle yoga, walking in nature, or simple stretching exercises.

5. Connect with Support

Reach out to people who understand and respect your experience – trusted friends, family, a trauma therapist, or support groups.

6. Create New Rituals

Consider developing meaningful activities for this day:

Writing letters to yourself
Volunteering
Creating art
Planting something
Practicing mindfulness

7. Stay Present

Ground yourself in the now using techniques like:

The 5-4-3-2-1 sensory exercise
Mindful breathing
Focus on immediate surroundings

When to Seek Additional Support

While anniversary reactions are normal, sometimes we need extra help. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you experience:

Persistent difficulty with daily tasks
Increased isolation
Thoughts of self-harm
Overwhelming emotional responses
Significant changes in sleep or eating patterns

Creating Your Personal Strategy

Everyone’s trauma anniversary experience is unique. Take time to reflect on what works for you:

Which activities help you feel grounded?
What kind of support do you need?
How can you show yourself compassion?
What boundaries would help you feel safe?

Moving Forward

Remember that acknowledging trauma anniversaries isn’t about staying stuck – it’s about honoring your journey and taking care of yourself. These dates might always hold significance, but with time and support, you can develop a toolkit that helps you navigate them with more ease.

Your feelings around trauma anniversaries are valid, and you deserve support during these times. If you’re in Philadelphia or Florida and looking for professional support, many therapists (including myself) specialize in helping women navigate trauma.

Remember, healing happens on your timeline, and there’s no “right” way to handle trauma anniversaries. Trust your instincts, be gentle with yourself, and know that support is available when you need it. Click here to get started.

What is Happiness Anxiety and How to Cope

As a licensed therapist, I’ve encountered many individuals who struggle with an unexpected form of anxiety. It’s not the fear of failure or social situations that troubles them, but rather the fear of happiness itself. This phenomenon, known as happiness anxiety, can significantly impact a person’s well-being and quality of life.

woman drinking coffee with a friend experiencing happiness anxiety

Understanding Happiness Anxiety

Happiness anxiety refers to the fear or apprehension of experiencing positive emotions or good fortune. People with this form of anxiety often feel uncomfortable or anxious when things are going well in their lives. They may worry that their happiness won’t last or that something bad will happen to balance out the good.

This paradoxical fear can stem from various sources:

Past experiences of disappointment
A belief that happiness is fleeting
Fear of losing control
Trauma or negative life events
Cultural or family influences

Individuals with happiness anxiety might engage in self-sabotaging behaviors or avoid situations that could bring joy, ultimately hindering their ability to fully experience and appreciate positive aspects of life.

Signs and Symptoms of Happiness Anxiety

Recognizing happiness anxiety is the first step towards addressing it. Common signs and symptoms include:

Feeling uneasy or anxious when things are going well
Constantly waiting for the “other shoe to drop”
Difficulty accepting compliments or good news
Downplaying achievements or positive experiences
Avoiding activities or situations that might bring happiness
Physical symptoms like increased heart rate or sweating when experiencing positive emotions
Intrusive thoughts about potential negative outcomes during happy moments

If you find yourself experiencing these symptoms regularly, you might be dealing with happiness anxiety.

The Impact of Happiness Anxiety on Mental Health

Happiness anxiety can have significant repercussions on your overall mental health and well-being. Some potential impacts include:

Chronic stress and tension
Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships
Reduced life satisfaction
Increased risk of depression
Missed opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment
Lower self-esteem and self-worth

By consistently avoiding or minimizing positive experiences, individuals with happiness anxiety may inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy of unhappiness.

Coping Strategies for Happiness Anxiety

If you’re struggling with happiness anxiety, there are several strategies you can employ to manage your symptoms and work towards embracing positive emotions:

Practice Mindfulness: Focus on the present moment without judgment. This can help you fully experience and appreciate positive emotions as they occur.
Gradual Exposure: Slowly increase your exposure to situations that bring joy. Start small and work your way up to more significant experiences.
Keep a Gratitude Journal: Regularly write down things you’re grateful for. Sometimes we can feel scared to fully feel our gratitude if we have happiness anxiety. It can feel as though if we allow ourselves to relish in gratitude, those things will go away. However, studies show the more you practice gratitude, the more you will experience joy.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you experience anxiety about happiness. Remember that it’s okay to feel good and that you deserve happiness.
Build a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can encourage you to embrace positive experiences.

Overcoming Happiness Anxiety: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Overcoming happiness anxiety is a process that requires patience, self-reflection, and often professional support. As you work through your anxiety, consider the following steps:

Identify Your Triggers: Pay attention to situations or thoughts that spark your happiness anxiety. Understanding your triggers can help you develop targeted coping strategies.
Explore the Root Causes: Reflect on past experiences or beliefs that might contribute to your fear of happiness. This self-exploration can provide valuable insights for healing.
Set Realistic Expectations: Remember that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions, including both positive and negative ones. Aim for a balanced perspective rather than constant happiness.
Seek Professional Help: A mental health professional can provide personalized guidance and support as you navigate happiness anxiety. At Therapy for Women Center, we have therapists who can help.

Embracing Happiness: Your Path Forward

It’s important to remember that happiness is not a constant state, but rather a series of moments to be appreciated. Feeling anxious sometimes, even about good things, is a normal part of the human experience. You deserve to experience joy and fulfillment in your life, and it’s crucial to remind yourself of this fact regularly. The journey may be challenging at times, but the reward of embracing happiness is well worth the effort.

10 Exciting Signs You are Recovering from an Eating Disorder

Recovering from an eating disorder is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. As someone who has walked this path and now supports others as a therapist specializing in eating disorder recovery in Philadelphia, I’ve seen firsthand how recovery can look different for everyone. However, there are some common signs that indicate you’re making progress on your healing journey. Here are ten signs that you’re on the path to recovering from an eating disorder:

amanda white was once recovering from an eating disorder too

1. You think about food less

One of the most significant signs of recovering from an eating disorder is when you realize you’ve gone extended periods without obsessing over food or your body. The constant mental chatter about calories, weight, or your next meal starts to quiet down. You might suddenly notice that you’ve made it through an entire afternoon without once thinking about what you’re going to eat for dinner or how your body looks.

2. Your Social Life Improves

Eating disorders often lead to isolation, but as you recover, you may find yourself more willing to engage socially. You might start reaching out to friends, attending gatherings, or simply enjoying conversations without feeling distracted by food-related thoughts. This renewed interest in social connections is a positive sign that you’re healing both emotionally and mentally.

3. You Feel More Present in Daily Life

Recovery brings with it a sense of presence. You may notice that you’re more engaged in conversations, able to concentrate better at work or school, and generally more aware of your surroundings. This increased mindfulness is a sign that your eating disorder is loosening its grip on your attention and energy.

4. You Rediscover Food Preferences When Recovering from an Eating Disorder

As you progress in recovering from an eating disorder, you may find yourself enjoying foods you previously avoided or feared. This could mean savoring a favorite childhood treat or trying new cuisines without guilt. Rediscovering the pleasure in eating is a powerful sign of healing and a step towards a more balanced relationship with food.

5. You Less Focus on Others’ Eating Habits

Recovery often brings a shift in focus from others’ plates to your own. You may realize that you’re no longer constantly comparing your portions to those around you or mentally calculating the calories in others’ meals. You may notice following food or recipe accounts on social media is no longer interesting. This change indicates a healthier relationship with food and a reduced preoccupation with eating behaviors.

6. You Buy Clothes That Actually Fit

Instead of purchasing “goal” clothing or obsessing over sizes, you start buying clothes that fit your current body comfortably. This shift represents a growing acceptance of your body and a move away from using clothing sizes as a measure of self-worth or recovery progress.

7. Exercise Becomes Self-Care When Recovering from an Eating Disorder

If you previously structured your entire day around workouts, you might notice this rigidity fading. In recovering from an eating disorder, exercise becomes a form of self-care rather than punishment or compensation for eating. You can skip a workout without anxiety. Or you’re able to engage in movement that feels good for your body without obsessive planning.

8. You Experience a Wider Range of Emotions

During your struggle with an eating disorder, you may have felt emotionally numb. As you recover, you start to experience a fuller range of emotions. While this can be challenging at times, it’s a sign that you’re reconnecting with yourself and processing feelings in a healthier way.

9. You Start Setting and Maintaining Boundaries

Recovering from an eating disorder often involves learning to set healthy boundaries, both with yourself and others. You might find yourself saying “no” to things that don’t serve your recovery. Or, you might start speaking up about your needs in relationships. This is a powerful sign of growing self-respect and self-care.

10. You Believe in Your Worth Beyond Appearance

Perhaps one of the most profound signs of recovering from an eating disorder is the genuine belief that your value as a person is not determined by your weight or appearance. You start to recognize and appreciate your other qualities, achievements, and the relationships in your life as sources of self-worth. At Therapy for Women Center, we take a Health at Every Size approach to help you make this powerful shift.

It Is Possible to Start Recovering From an Eating Disorder

Remember, recovery is not linear, and it’s okay if you don’t experience all of these signs at once or consistently. Each small step is a victory worth celebrating. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder or recognizing these signs in yourself or a loved one, consider reaching out to a mental health professional specializing in eating disorders in Philadelphia. With the right support and tools, recovery is possible, and a healthier, more balanced life is within reach. Learn more about our approach to eating disorder therapy.

How to Deal with Post-Wedding Blues or Depression

For many, the experience of planning a wedding is filled with excitement, anticipation, and buildup. After months of planning, prepping, and decorating for your most magical day to finally pay off, you may find yourself asking, “what now?” If you’re feeling this way, you may be experiencing post-wedding blues.

photo of Amanda White, the author on her wedding day.

I remember when I got married in 2019, it was one of the best days of my life. My wedding was everything I dreamed of, but then I came crashing down to reality. It felt disturbing and confusing that I was so depressed after marrying the love of my life. What’s going on, I thought. Is there something wrong with me?

Absolutely not! In fact, it is quite normal for individuals to feel sad after their wedding day. Some even experience signs of clinical depression. It’s been weeks and months of choosing color partners, flower arrangements, dresses, jewels, catering, and being the center of attention.

After one day, the energy shifts again to now paying bills, going back to work, and engaging in daily responsibilities.

What Are Post-Wedding Blues?

Post-wedding blues can happen to couples when they experience a period of letdown following the excitement of a wedding. It may seem counterintuitive that you feel down after what is considered the happiest days of your life.

However, life is all about the ups and downs, especially after a major life event. Weddings are often a significant and meaningful experience, so when it is over, it seems that there is a lingering feeling of emptiness.

Why Do Couples Experience Post-Wedding Blues?

There are many different reasons why one may feel down after their big day. The time spent putting in work to create the most wonderful day can feel almost anticlimactic once it’s over. Weddings also bring people together.

Family, friends, loved ones are all under one roof, supporting and celebrating you on this most joyous occasion. It’s possible that these get-togethers do not happen often, so in the moment, the rush of happiness is euphoric. However, once the day ends, you may normally crash when reality confronts you again.

Signs of Post-Wedding Blues

Not sure whether you’re experiencing post-wedding blues? Common feelings may look like:

Feelings of deep sadness
Disappointment
Loneliness
Fatigue
Sleep difficulties
Lack of focus
Not enjoying marital bliss

How to Manage Post-Wedding Depression

Make Plans to Look Forward to: You just spent most of your time and energy planning for a wedding. Now you have the freedom to focus on other plans and activities that will give you a new sense of excitement. Planning something fun in the weeks that follow the wedding can help with feelings of sadness. Whether it’s the honeymoon, moving in together, or going on fun dates and starting projects, it’s important to create plans to look forward to as newly weds.
Lean on Your Spouse: Healthy communication is a pillar in a long-lasting marriage. Talk to your partner if you are feeling saddened by the ending of your big day. It is possible they are feeling the same way. This may be the first challenge you face together as a married couple. It is essential to ensure you can support one another in times of emotional distress.
Define Family Relationships: Some people experience the blues because they feel like they’re losing their family. Being married does not mean your family is lost. Instead, you are extending your own family. It just takes time to redefine the family lines and focus on connecting.
Seek Marital Counseling: Emotions can feel complex and draining. Experiencing them does not mean your relationship is failing, but it is also important to seek additional support. Counselors can help with processing the pain and provide helpful tips for you and your spouse to work through the post-wedding blues. Your feelings are valid and normal.

At Therapy for Women Center, we specialize in working with women of all ages and life transitions. Remember, marrying someone creates a major life transition, even if it brings happiness. We would be honored to work with you. Click here to learn more about our approach.

5 Reasons Why Sober Dating is A Superpower

Thinking about quitting drinking and anxious about sober dating? Or maybe you are looking to just cut back on drinking but are curious how it may impact your relationship prospects. Many people tell me the idea of sober dating is a huge barrier in alcohol moderation. But here’s a secret.. what if I told you it can actually benefit you?

photo of Amanda E. White wearing a shirt that says "recovery is so fetch".

As someone who has dated sober and not ( I got sober at age 24 after all), I can tell you that sober dating opens up a whole new world of possibilities. It’s like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing everything in HD for the first time. Let’s dive into the five reasons why sober dating gives you an edge in finding a relationship.

1. You’re Actually Present

Gone are the days when you were more focused on your next drink than your date’s story. When you’re sober dating, you’re fully there. You’re not just hearing words.. you’re listening. You’re not just seeing a face; you’re noticing expressions.

Without alcohol clouding your judgment, you can really tune in to how you feel about the person sitting across from you. Are they making you laugh? Do you feel comfortable? Is there a spark? These are things you might have missed in your drunk dating days.

Plus, being present means you’re more likely to remember all those little details that make dating fun. No more waking up the next day trying to piece together what happened.

2. You Make Better Choices When Sober Dating

Let’s be real – alcohol has a way of making everyone look like a catch. But when you’re sober dating, you’re seeing people for who they really are. No beer goggles, no rose-colored glasses. Just pure, unfiltered reality.

This means you’re more likely to choose partners who align with your values and goals. You’re not settling for someone just because they look good after a few drinks. And it’s not just about choosing better partners. You’re less likely to overshare, say things you don’t mean, overcommit or end up in situations you’re not comfortable with.

3. You Build Genuine Confidence

Remember when you needed a drink (or three) to feel confident enough to talk to someone you liked? Those days are gone. Sober dating helps you build real, lasting confidence.

You learn to rely on your own charm, wit, and personality. You discover that you don’t need liquid courage to be interesting or attractive. This kind of confidence doesn’t wear off when the buzz does – it sticks with you.

There’s something incredibly empowering about knowing you can handle social situations without a crutch. Nervous about that first kiss? Anxious about meeting their friends? No problem – you’ve got this, all on your own.

4. You Create Deeper Connections

Alcohol might make you feel more open, but it often leads to surface-level connections. Sober dating allows for real vulnerability and depth. When you’re not numbing your feelings, you’re more in touch with your emotions. This means you can share more authentically and connect on a deeper level. You’re not just swapping drunk anecdotes; you’re sharing ideas, beliefs and stories.

This vulnerability is magnetic. People are drawn to authenticity. By showing up as your true self, you’re more likely to attract partners who appreciate the real you, not just the life-of-the-party version. As a result, you are more likely to find a relationship (if that is what you are looking for). You will waste less time because the lack of connection and red flags will be obvious. So you can move on to the right person for you.

5. You Actually Remember Your Love Story

Imagine being able to look back on your relationship and remember every sweet detail of how it started. That’s the gift of sober dating.

You’re creating clear, vivid memories of your journey together. First dates, first kisses, inside jokes – they’re all stored in full HD in your mind. No more piecing together your love story from blurry snapshots and secondhand accounts.

This superpower doesn’t just give you great stories to tell. It also helps you build a stronger foundation for your relationship. You’re fully present for all those early moments that shape your connection, creating a richer, more meaningful bond from the start.

The Sober Dating Advantage

Embracing sober dating isn’t always easy, especially in a world where alcohol often feels like a social lubricant. But the benefits far outweigh any initial discomfort. You’re not just avoiding hangovers and regrettable texts – you’re setting yourself up for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Remember, sobriety isn’t about missing out. It’s about gaining a whole new perspective on life and love. It’s about being the best version of yourself and attracting people who appreciate that version.

Even if you’re not looking for a relationship right now, going on sober dates can help improve your life. Better decision-making, deeper connections, genuine confidence – these are gifts that keep on giving, whether you’re looking for love or just living your best life.

I share all these tips and more in my book, Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating a Life You Love.

If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, and want extra support, we have a number of therapists at Therapy for Women Center who can help and are trained in my unique approach. Learn more about it here.

How to Work Through Trauma and Its Neurological Effects

Trauma — a severely distressing and emotional experience — can have long-lasting effects for one’s mental and emotional well-being. Trauma presents differently in everyone. It may result from neglect, abuse, accidents, natural disasters, or experiencing forms of violence.

woman holding hands over chest for article on effects of trauma

Either way, the side effects of trauma are more than just psychological; in fact, the effects on the brain are equally significant.

The Neurological Effects of Trauma

Trauma impacts normal functioning by altering brain chemistry and specific parts of the brain structure, such as the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. All these parts combined can affect memory, behavior, and the ability to regulate emotions.

The Amygdala

The amygdala is a small structure in the brain that plays a role in processing and understanding emotions, memory recollection, and also controls the fear response. When someone experiences trauma, the amygdala goes into overdrive. They become more sensitive to stimuli, anxiously fearing a trigger of their experience. Due to changes in the amygdala, individuals may perceive threats in non-threatening situations.

The Hippocampus

The hippocampus is responsible for forming new memories and learning information. Trauma actually causes the hippocampus to shrink, which ultimately impairs memory to where individuals may struggle with distinguishing between past and present experiences. This symptom is also known as flashbacks, and is a common sign of PTSD.

The Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for higher-level functioning, such as decision-making, social behaviors, and emotional regulation. Trauma can weaken the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, leading to irrational fears that may be difficult for the individual to overcome. Triggers can have a devastating effect, and cause an inability to regulate emotions once in a heightened state.

The Stress Response System

The stress response system, also known as the “fight or flight” system, is chronically activated after a trauma experience. Our brains are not meant to live in this state, so it can have drastic effects on physical and psychological health.

Elevated Cortisol Levels

Cortisol, also known as the “stress hormone,” is released during times of perceived danger. After experiencing trauma, cortisol is present at high levels in the body, and can lead to:

Fatigue
Irritability
Headaches
Digestive or intestinal issues
Increased blood pressure
Weight gain
Anxiety and depression
Cardiovascular diseases

Immune System Suppression

Chronic stress can weaken the immune system. This causes individuals to be more susceptible to diseases and illnesses, which can contribute to an increase in mental health symptoms. Our bodies naturally produce white blood cells to fight off infections, however, with a high stress level, cortisol suppresses the production of these cells, making it more difficult for healing.

Neuroinflammation

Neuroinflammation is inflammation of the nervous system tissue found in the brain. Because of this, individuals are more at risk for developing mental disorders like anxiety or depression. It can also lead to long-term neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s.

Trauma Recovery

Trauma does not necessarily mean free from trauma symptoms, however, there is hope for emotional stability and wellness. One of the best ways to recover and heal from traumatic experiences would be to engage in different forms of therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is one of the most common therapeutic approaches, and it involves individuals learning to identify and challenge their negative thought patterns. Professionals help understand the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and teach effective coping skills to help with emotional regulation.

Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is a method that has been specifically designed for trauma healing. It involves thinking of traumatic memories while practicing body stimulations, such as eye movement. This process helps with reprocessing to reduce their emotional intensity when experiencing trauma triggers.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help with emotional processing and regulation, as well as being present and grounded in reality. This, along with therapy, can be great tools to utilize for overcoming trauma and beginning to heal. Contact us today to schedule an appointment!

To learn more about trauma therapy and book an appointment with one of our trauma specialists, click here!