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I truly thought if I accepted my situation or gave myself any type of grace, it meant my behavior would be permanent. I thought that anything less than self hatred would indicate that I approved of my behavior and that terrified me. The only thing worse to me than continuing my addictive patterns was being okay with them. So around and around I went.
Eventually and painfully, I learned an inevitable truth about change. “The curious paradox about change is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change,” Carl Rogers. I learned that negative self talk doesn’t work. Hating myself doesn’t work. It is only through honestly looking at my behavior, accepting my circumstances as they are and offering myself compassion that I was able to change.
Spare yourself the pain and the wasted time. You are doing the best you can. Give yourself some grace and allow yourself to be surprised by the results.
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with grace,
Amanda