# therapyforwomencenter.com > Therapy for Women > Generated by All in One SEO Pro v5.0.4, this is an llms-full.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. ## Posts ### [Blog](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/blog/) **Published:** February 8, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC --- ### [Postpartum OCD: Symptoms and How to Recover](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/10/20/postpartum-ocd-symptoms-and-how-to-recover/) **Published:** October 20, 2026 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** You sterilized the bottles an hour ago. You’re rewashing them anyway, because what if you missed a spot? Last night you checked her breathing four times before you let yourself sleep. Even then, you ran through the day in your head looking for mistakes. If caring for your baby has started to feel like a checklist you can never finish, you might be dealing with postpartum OCD. Here’s the first thing to know: this is far more common than anyone tells you, and it has nothing to do with how good a mother you are. In fact, it tends to torment the mothers who care the most. ![Mom struggling with postpartum OCD, folding a blanket ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-sarah-chai-7282429-683x1024.jpg) ## What Is Postpartum OCD? Postpartum OCD is obsessive-compulsive disorder that starts or intensifies after having a baby. It follows the same cycle as OCD at any other time. Intrusive, unwanted thoughts or fears (obsessions) trigger behaviors or [mental rituals](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/) meant to relieve the anxiety (compulsions). After birth, that cycle latches onto the thing you value most: your baby’s safety. For years, postpartum OCD was considered rare. Older estimates, including the fact sheet that still tops Google, put it at 1 to 2 percent of new mothers. But when researchers started asking about baby-specific obsessions directly, the numbers changed dramatically. A [study in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry](https://www.psychiatrist.com/jcp/high-prevalence-ocd-across-pregnancy-and-postpartum/) found OCD symptoms affected nearly 17 percent of women across the postpartum period. Most new cases started in the first ten weeks. It was never rare. It was under-reported, because mothers are terrified to say these thoughts out loud. ## What Does Postpartum OCD Actually Look Like? Not just one thing, which is why so many women don’t recognize it. The obsessions usually center on the baby, but the theme varies: - **Contamination fears.** Rewashing bottles, sanitizing constantly, panic when someone touches the baby without washing their hands, avoiding leaving the house because the world feels germ-covered. - **Checking.** Watching the monitor for the rise and fall of her chest, waking to confirm she’s breathing, checking the car seat straps a fourth time. - **“Just right” rituals.** Feeding, swaddling, or arranging the nursery in a way that has to feel exactly right, and starting over when it doesn’t. - **Reassurance seeking.** Asking your partner again whether the baby seems okay, calling the pediatrician for the third time this week, googling the same symptom at 2 a.m. - **Harm-themed intrusive thoughts.** Sudden, horrifying images of the baby being hurt, sometimes by accident, sometimes by you. These are the scariest and the most misunderstood, and we cover them in depth in our post on [postpartum intrusive thoughts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/03/harm-ocd-postpartum/). The short version: having them does not make you dangerous. Many mothers experience several themes at once. What ties them together is the pattern: the fear demands a ritual, the ritual buys a few minutes of relief, and the fear comes back louder. ## Postpartum OCD vs. Postpartum Anxiety: How Can You Tell? The honest answer is that they overlap, and plenty of women have both. But the shape is different, and the shape matters for treatment. [Postpartum anxiety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/12/postpartum-anxiety-cause-risk-factors-how-to-deal/)is broad worry: money, health, whether you’re doing any of this right. It hums in the background and spikes with stress. OCD is sharper and stranger. The thoughts arrive as specific, often disturbing images or doubts. They feel intrusive rather than like your own worrying. And they demand a specific action or mental ritual to neutralize them. Worry says “what if something goes wrong.” OCD says “rewash the bottles or something will.” One more distinction matters, because it’s the 3 a.m. fear underneath everything: postpartum OCD is not postpartum psychosis, and it doesn’t turn into it. We walk through that difference carefully in the intrusive thoughts post linked above. OCD thoughts horrify you precisely because you know they’re wrong, and that horror is evidence your grip on reality is fully intact. ## Why Does OCD Start or Spike After Birth? Because everything OCD feeds on arrives at once. Your hormones shift faster than at any other point in adult life. You’re sleeping in fragments. And your brain’s threat-detection system, which exists to protect your baby, gets turned up to a setting it’s never used before. Sometimes that system overshoots, flagging harmless things as emergencies and demanding rituals to shut off the alarm. A history of OCD, anxiety, or perfectionism raises the risk, but many women who develop it have never had OCD symptoms before. It isn’t caused by anything you did, and it doesn’t reflect your feelings about your baby. ## What Does Treatment Look Like? Postpartum OCD responds very well to treatment, often within weeks. At our practice, [our OCD therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) use [Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP),](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/) the gold standard for OCD, adapted for the realities of new motherhood. ERP never asks you to do anything unsafe. It teaches your brain, through practice, that the thoughts aren’t dangerous and the rituals aren’t necessary. ACT works alongside. It helps you notice intrusive thoughts without obeying them so you can get back to actually being with your baby. And because our [psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) are part of our practice, medication can be part of the plan when it’s needed. Many options are compatible with breastfeeding, and your prescriber coordinates directly with your therapist, so you’re never repeating your story to strangers or managing the gap between providers yourself. ## When Should You Reach Out? If the rituals are eating your hours, if you’re avoiding your baby or unable to leave her side, or if you’re reading this list and feeling seen, that’s your sign. You don’t need to hit a crisis first, and you don’t need to prove it’s “bad enough.” Our [perinatal mental health specialists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/) at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood treat postpartum OCD regularly, and several have advanced training through Postpartum Support International. We know how to help. ## Frequently Asked Questions about Postpartum OCD #### How long does postpartum OCD last? Without treatment, postpartum OCD can persist well beyond the first year, though for some women symptoms ease as hormones and sleep stabilize. With ERP-based treatment, most women improve significantly within a few months. The earlier it’s treated, the faster it tends to resolve. #### Can postpartum OCD go away on its own? Sometimes mild symptoms fade as the postpartum period stabilizes, but moderate to severe symptoms usually don’t resolve through willpower, and compulsions tend to multiply the longer the cycle runs. If symptoms are consuming your time or shaping your days, treatment is the reliable path out. #### Does postpartum OCD mean I might hurt my baby? No. Postpartum OCD is not associated with harming your baby. The thoughts are ego-dystonic. This means they attack what you value most. The distress they cause is itself evidence of how much you’d never act on them. Our post on postpartum intrusive thoughts covers this question in depth. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** OCD, OCD compulsions, OCD subtypes, Perinatal Mental Health, postpartum, postpartum OCD --- ### [The Truth About Finding a Therapist Licensed in Multiple States](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/01/07/how-to-find-a-therapist-licensed-in-multiple-states/) **Published:** January 7, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You finally found a therapist you click with. Then life happens. You get a job offer across the country. Your college is in a different state than your parents’ house. Suddenly, the question isn’t whether therapy is helping. It’s whether you can keep going. That’s when you need a therapist licensed in multiple states. The good news? You don’t have to start over. At Therapy for Women Center, we have therapists licensed in states across the country because we know how hard it is to find the right fit, and we don’t want geography to get in the way. ## Why Can’t All Therapists Practice Everywhere? Therapists are licensed state by state, not nationally. A therapist licensed in Pennsylvania can’t legally see a client who’s sitting in California, even over video, and even if you’re in another state temporarily. Unfortunately, this is how licensing laws work. For years, this created real problems. [One survey](https://www.statnews.com/2023/03/08/cross-state-licensure-reform-telehealth-ease-mental-health-crisis/) found that 70% of therapists reported losing clients who moved out of state. That’s a lot of therapeutic relationships cut short by state lines. But things are changing. Psychologists can now practice across state lines through PSYPACT, a compact that covers more than 40 participating states. Our psychologist, [Dr. Kelly Bradley, ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/kelly-bradley/)holds PSYPACT authorization, which means is a therapist who can see clients in nearly every state in the country. Our therapists have also done the work of holding individual licenses in multiple states. Between the two, continuity of care is possible for far more people than it used to be. ![Woman on a video session with her therapist licensed in multiple states ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/person-conducting-online-psychologist-therapy-scaled.jpg) ## What If I’m Moving to Another State? This is one of the most common concerns we hear. You’ve built trust with your therapist. You’ve done the hard work of opening up. And now you’re wondering if you have to start from scratch with someone new. But if your therapist holds licenses in your new state, you can keep working together. Many of our therapists at Therapy for Women hold licenses in a few states, so they can keep working with you. The transition becomes about adjusting to your new life, not adjusting to a new therapist at the same time. We recommend talking to your therapist as soon as you know a move is coming. That gives you time to figure out logistics and make a plan together. ## How To Find a Therapist Licensed in Multiple States ### College Students College students often split time between two states: where their school is and where their family lives. Winter break, summer break, unexpected trips home. If your therapist can only see you in one of those locations, your care gets interrupted right when you might need it most. This is solved by having a multi-state licensed therapist, particularly the two you split your time between. Then, you can keep your regular sessions whether you’re in your dorm room or your childhood bedroom. No gaps in care during finals, no scrambling to find someone new every time you go home. ### Long-Distance Couples: Finding a Therapist in Multiple States Long-distance relationships come with their own challenges. When you want to do couples therapy but you’re in Colorado and your partner is in Texas, most therapists can’t help you. They’d need to be licensed in both states. But when your therapist does hold both licenses, therapy gets simple: both of you join from wherever you are, and your therapist can legally provide care to you both. You may also need this for a family session. If this is your situation, we have a few couples and family therapists who can help you: [Fernanda Valentin, LMFT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/fernanda-formel-lmft/): licensed in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Florida. [Aleksandra Freiling, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/aleksandra-freiling-lcsw/): licensed in Pennsylvania, Arizona, Massachusetts & Missouri [Melissa Huff Smoldt, LPC, LMHC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/melissa-huff-smoldt-lpc-lmhc/): Licensed in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina and Delaware [AJ Sarbaugh, LMFT, CEDS](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/aj-sarbaugh-lmft-ceds/): Licensed in California, Colorado and Texas [Taylor Pearl, LAPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/taylor-pearl-ba/): Licensed in Pennsylvania and New Jersey ### Frequent Travelers Need a Therapist in Multiple States Maybe you’re on the road two weeks out of every month. Or you split time between offices in different cities. Traditional therapy doesn’t work well with that kind of schedule because your therapist can only see you when you’re physically in their licensed state. Therapists who practice across state lines give you flexibility. Your Monday session can happen whether you’re home in Philadelphia or in a hotel room in Tampa. ## Which States Do Your Therapists Cover? Our therapists at Therapy for Women Center hold licenses across many states. Here’s where [we can currently see clients](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/locations/): Alabama, [Arizona](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/arizona/), Arkansas, [California](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/california/), [Colorado](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/colorado-therapists/), Connecticut, [Delaware](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/delaware/), [Florida](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/florida-therapist/), Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, [Massachusetts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/massachusetts/), Michigan, Minnesota, [Missouri](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/missouri/), Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, [New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/new-jersey-therapists/), [North Carolina](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/north-carolina/), North Dakota, [Ohio](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ohio/), Oklahoma, [Pennsylvania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/pennsylvania-therapy/), Rhode Island, [South Carolina](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/south-carolina-therapists/), South Dakota, Tennessee, [Texas](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/texas/), Utah, [Vermont](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/vermont-therapists/), [Virginia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/virginia-therapists/), Washington, Washington DC, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. ## How Do I Get Started? If you’re looking for a therapist who can work with you across state lines, reach out to us. When you contact Therapy for Women Center, let us know which states you need coverage in, and we’ll match you with someone who can see you wherever you are. In addition to online therapy, we have physical office locations in the Philadelphia, PA neighborhoods of Old City, Center City, and Bala Cynwyd, as well as Collingswood, New Jersey. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice a good therapeutic relationship because of where you live, where you’re moving, or where life takes you next. We’re here to make sure you don’t have to. Contact us to find a therapist who fits your life, not just your zip code. [Get started here!](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) **Categories:** Therapy for Women --- ### [The Essential Guide to Therapy for Anger in Women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/11/the-truth-about-therapy-for-anger-in-women/) **Published:** August 11, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You snapped at your partner over something small. You yelled at your kids and immediately felt sick about it. Or maybe you’re just simmering all the time, with a tightness in your chest that won’t quit. If you’ve been searching for therapy for anger, you’re probably wondering why you feel so reactive lately, and whether something deeper is going on. Usually, the answer is yes. ## What Therapy for Anger Actually Addresses However, most women who reach out to us about anger don’t have therapy for anger in the way they think. They have years of unprocessed emotions that finally found a way out. Anger is a signal. It tells you a boundary got crossed, a need isn’t getting met, or something hurts more than you’ve let yourself admit. The trouble is, women often learn from childhood to push it down. Be nice. Don’t make a scene. Smooth things over. So the anger doesn’t go anywhere. It just builds, until it leaks out sideways as snapping, crying jags, exhaustion, or that low-grade resentment you can’t seem to shake. This is why therapy for anger work often looks different than people expect. Moreover, it also differs from traditional anger management. Counting to ten only goes so far. The deeper work means figuring out what your anger is actually trying to say. ![Woman on the phone making an appointment for therapy for anger ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/angry-stressed-young-woman-talking-phone-city-683x1024.jpg) ## Why Anger Hides Behind Anxiety and Depression Here’s what most women don’t realize: the irritability you’ve been calling anxiety might really be anger. The heaviness you’ve been calling depression might be too. Many women learn early to push anger down, and [research links chronic anger suppression](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165178107001692) to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and physical symptoms. When you can’t express something, your body and mind find other ways to carry it. You might recognize some of these signs: - You feel “fine” most of the time but explode over small things - It’s difficult for you to set a boundary because you feel guilty - You cry when you’re really furious - Sleep doesn’t touch the kind of exhaustion you’re carrying - You replay conversations for days, thinking of what you should have said - You feel resentment toward someone you love, and you don’t know what to do with it ## How ACT and DBT Help With Anger **\[NEW: service page link\]** At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, our therapists use evidence-based approaches that actually fit how anger works as part of our [individual therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-therapy/). Two of the most effective for anger are Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). ### Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) ACT helps you stop fighting your anger and start understanding it. So much of what makes anger feel out of control is the shame layered on top of it. You feel angry, then you feel terrible for feeling angry, then you suppress it, then it comes back twice as strong. In ACT, you learn to notice the anger without judging yourself. From that calmer place, you can ask what the anger points to. As a result, you can choose how you want to respond based on your values. This process supports therapy for anger without reacting automatically. For many women, this is the first time they feel angry without being told to fix it. ### Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) DBT teaches concrete tools for the moments when anger takes over, including distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. You learn how to ride out the wave of intense emotion without doing something you’ll regret. You also learn how to ask for what you need before resentment hardens into rage. Together, ACT and DBT give you both the awareness and the skills. You stop fearing your own anger and start using it as information. And when irritability turns out to be riding on top of depression, anxiety, or a hormonal condition like PMDD, our [in-house psychiatric providers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether medication belongs in the picture, working alongside your therapist rather than in a separate silo. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Why am I so angry all the time?** Constant anger usually means something constant is feeding it: chronic stress, unmet needs, sleep deprivation, resentment that never gets voiced, or an underlying mood or hormonal shift. Your anger isn’t random, even when it feels that way. Therapy can help you trace it to its actual source. This is the step most women have never been given room to do. ### **Do I need anger management?** Probably not in the traditional sense. Classic anger management focuses on controlling outbursts, which helps some people but skips the question of what’s driving the anger. Most women we see don’t need more self-control; they’ve been over-controlling their anger for years. They need to understand it, and that’s a different kind of work. ### **Can hormones cause anger and irritability?** Absolutely. [Hormonal shifts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/05/how-hormone-imbalances-cause-anxiety-in-women-how-to-cope/) before your period, during perimenopause, and after having a baby can all crank up irritability, and [postpartum rage](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/01/the-truth-about-postpartum-rage-no-one-talks-about/) is real enough that we wrote about it separately. If your anger follows a pattern your calendar could predict, hormones deserve a spot on the suspect list. ### **Is it normal to cry when I’m angry?** Very. Tears are one of the most common ways suppressed anger comes out in women, partly because most of us grew up in homes that permitted crying but not anger. If you’ve ever felt furious in a meeting and felt tears coming instead of words, that’s not weakness or confusion. That’s anger taking the only exit it ever had. ## When Should You Consider Therapy for Anger? If you’ve read this far, some part of you already knows. But here are a few clear signs it’s time to reach out: - Your anger is affecting your relationships, your work, or how you feel about yourself - You’re scaring yourself with the intensity of your reactions - You feel numb or disconnected most of the time, with anger as the only emotion that breaks through - You grew up in a home where anger wasn’t safe to express - You’ve tried to “just calm down” and it isn’t working You don’t have to wait until things get worse. Plenty of women come to us looking completely put-together on the outside and feeling exhausted from holding it all in. Therapy for anger gives you a place to put it all down. ## You’re Allowed to Feel Angry If anger has felt like the worst part of yourself, we want you to hear something different. Your anger is a piece of information you’ve been taught to ignore, and learning to listen to it can be one of the most freeing things you ever do. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia (also serving the Main Line and South Jersey) specialize in therapy for anger in women and non-binary folks. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another season of this. **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** anger, anxiety, depression, therapy for anger, trauma --- ### [The Truth About Why You Can't Stop Binge Eating](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/14/why-you-cant-stop-binge-eating/) **Published:** August 14, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** It’s 9pm and you’re standing in the kitchen, not even hungry, unable to stop. You were “good” all day. You had rules, and you followed them. Yet here you are again, eating past full with a feeling somewhere between a trance and a panic. If this keeps happening, I want you to hear something that might change everything. Binge eating is not a willpower problem. It’s a cycle with a design, and you’ve probably been fighting the wrong end of it. ## Why Do I Binge Eat? In most cases, the honest answer is deprivation. Binge eating runs on a cycle, and we see the same one constantly in our offices. You restrict. That might mean skipping breakfast, cutting carbs, “being good,” or just eating less than your body needs. Deprivation builds quietly through the day. Eventually, your biology overrides your rules and demands food with an urgency that feels like possession. That’s the binge. Then come shame and panic, which trigger stricter rules tomorrow, which set up the next binge. Emotions play a role too. Bingeing often becomes a way to numb stress, loneliness, or feelings you never got taught to handle. But for most women we work with, restriction is the engine and emotion is the accelerant. The binge isn’t where the problem starts. It’s where the problem becomes visible. ![woman who is binge eating at night ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-tim-samuel-6696944-scaled.jpg) ## Why Is It Worse at Night? Because restriction accumulates. Nighttime binge eating is usually daytime restriction coming due. If you under-eat all morning and white-knuckle through the afternoon, your body arrives at evening carrying a whole day of deprivation. Meanwhile, the willpower you’ve been leaning on is a finite resource, and by 9pm it’s spent. Night is also when distraction runs out and feelings get loud. Put it all together, and the evening binge stops being a mystery. It’s the predictable end of the daytime diet. The women who binge at night are almost never the ones eating “too much” all day. They’re the ones eating too little until dark. ## Is It Binge Eating Disorder? Everyone overeats sometimes. Binge eating disorder is different in two ways. First, loss of control: you feel unable to stop once it starts. Second, distress: episodes are followed by shame, guilt, or numbness, and they keep happening regularly. BED is a real diagnosis in the DSM-5. In fact, it’s the [most common eating disorder](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9793802/) in the United States, more common than anorexia and bulimia combined. It also hides best, because our culture reads it as a discipline failure instead of the mental health condition it is. If the loss-of-control feeling is familiar, that’s the sign that matters. Your size, and what anyone assumes about it, is not. ## Why “Just Eat Less” Makes Binge Eating Worse Most advice this search turns up tells you to control harder: smaller portions, stop before you’re full, remove the tempting foods. We want to be direct about why that backfires. Dieting is the most reliable binge trigger researchers have found. That’s why clinical guidelines say to treat binge eating before attempting any weight-focused program, not after. Every new rule adds deprivation, every “forbidden” food becomes louder, and every failed attempt deepens the shame that fuels the next episode. If controlling harder worked, it would have worked years ago. You haven’t failed the advice. The advice has failed you. ## What Actually Helps You Stop Binge Eating? Treatment works on both ends of the cycle at once. In therapy, we help you dismantle the food rules and the all-or-nothing thinking that turn one hard moment into an episode. Many of our clients also use DBT skills, so the feelings that used to demand food become feelings you can ride out. Our [eating disorder therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) do exactly this work. The other end is ending the deprivation, which is where our in-house registered dietitian comes in. Her [nutrition counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) follows a non-diet, Health at Every Size approach: eating enough, regularly, with no foods on a forbidden list. That sounds terrifying to most women when they start. It’s also what quiets the urges. A body that trusts food is coming stops demanding it in floods. For some women, medication helps too. There’s an FDA-approved medication specifically for moderate to severe BED. Our [in-house psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether it’s a fit, in coordination with your therapist rather than in a separate silo. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Is binge eating disorder the same as overeating?** No. Overeating is finishing the fries because they’re good. The disorder involves recurring episodes with a genuine loss of control, followed by real distress, often planned around secrecy. The distress and the loss of control are what make it a disorder, not the amount of food. ### **Am I just lacking willpower?** No, and the research is firmly on your side here. Bingeing is driven by deprivation, biology, and emotion, and willpower is famously powerless against all three. Treating it as a discipline problem is exactly what keeps the cycle running, because the “discipline” is the restriction that triggers the next episode. ### **Do I have to lose weight to recover?** [Recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/02/10-exciting-signs-you-are-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/) targets the cycle, [not your size](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/05/what-atypical-anorexia-really-looks-like-how-to-recover/). In fact, clinical guidance says the disorder should be treated before any weight-focused effort, because dieting triggers bingeing. Our practice works from a non-diet approach, so treatment will never be a weight-loss program in disguise. ### **What’s the difference between binge eating disorder and bulimia?** Both involve binge episodes with loss of control. In [bulimia,](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/09/how-to-recover-from-bulimia-a-comprehensive-guide-to-bulimia-recovery/) binges are followed by compensating behaviors. In BED, they aren’t, which often means it carries more visible weight stigma and gets dismissed longer. Both are serious, and both respond well to treatment. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need to earn help by getting worse. Reach out if the loss-of-control feeling keeps returning, or if food math is eating your mental life. Reach out if the shame after episodes is starting to shape how you see yourself. And if you’ve spent years cycling through plans that promise this time will be different, reach out to us to get started. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** binge eating, bingeing, bulimia, depression, eating disorders --- ### [How to Distinguish ARFID from Picky Eating: An Essential Guide](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/20/how-to-distinguish-arfid-from-picky-eating-an-essential-guide/) **Published:** August 20, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You’ve ordered the plainest thing on the menu your whole adult life. You scan every invitation for what food will be there. You’ve heard ‘just try one bite’ a thousand times. And you’ve spent decades believing you’re simply difficult. Here’s what nobody told you. Lifelong ‘picky eating’ in adults often is ARFID. ## What Is ARFID? ARFID stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It is an eating disorder where someone eats a very limited range of foods, eats too little overall, or both, to the point where it affects their health, nutrition, or daily life. It became an official diagnosis in the DSM-5 in 2013. That explains a lot: if you grew up before then, no doctor had a name for what you were experiencing. You just got called picky. One thing separates it from every other eating disorder, and it matters: this disorder has nothing to do with weight or body image. You’re not avoiding foods to be thinner. You’re avoiding them because something about eating them feels impossible. ![Adult woman with ARFID ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-mart-production-7890070-scaled.jpg) ## What Does It Look Like? ARFID shows up in three main patterns, and many adults have a blend. **Sensory avoidance.** Certain textures, smells, temperatures, or even the look of a food trigger genuine disgust or overwhelm. That’s not preference. Mixed foods, sauces, and “wet” textures are common offenders. Your safe list might be a dozen foods, prepared exactly one way. **Fear of what eating might cause.** After a choking scare, a bad stomach bug, or years of anxiety about vomiting, eating itself starts to feel dangerous. Meals become threat assessment. **Low interest in food.** Eating feels like a chore your body forgets to ask for. You miss hunger cues, skip meals without noticing, and find the whole project of feeding yourself exhausting. ## Do I Have ARFID or Am I Just Picky? Plenty of adults have foods they dislike, so here’s the honest line. Preference becomes a disorder when it interferes. Your nutrition suffers. You choose hunger over eating outside your safe list. Work dinners, dating, and travel get planned or declined around food, and the shame of it follows you home. A picky eater skips the mushrooms. An adult with this disorder builds a shrinking life around what feels safe to eat, and usually carries decades of embarrassment about it. If the second one sounds familiar, that’s worth taking seriously, no matter what anyone has called it. ## Why Do So Many Adults Go Undiagnosed? Partly timing, since the diagnosis didn’t exist until 2013. Partly camouflage, because adults get good at hiding it. You eat beforehand, claim allergies, or always suggest the same restaurant. And partly because ARFID doesn’t match anyone’s mental image of an eating disorder. When weight looks “fine” and there’s no dieting involved, even doctors often miss it. There’s one more piece worth knowing. This disorder overlaps heavily with ADHD and autism. An ADHD brain may not register hunger reliably, and the planning tax of preparing food is real. Meanwhile, sensory sensitivity makes many textures genuinely intolerable. If you’re a neurodivergent adult whose eating has always been complicated, that’s not a coincidence, and it changes how treatment should work. ## How Is ARFID Treated? Let’s start with what treatment is not, because you’ve been living the failed version for decades: nobody is going to force you to eat foods you hate. “Just try it” never worked because pressure raises the exact anxiety and disgust driving the avoidance. Real treatment moves gradually and collaboratively. We use [ERP](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy) to gradually have you try foods just outside your comfort zone. From there, it builds tolerance step by step, at a pace your nervous system can actually handle. Our [eating disorder therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) do this work alongside our in-house registered dietitian, whose [nutrition counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) focuses on getting your body properly fed with the foods you can eat now, while your list slowly grows. Since anxiety and [ADHD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/adhd-therapy) so often ride along, our [in-house psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/adhd-therapy) can also help when medication for those conditions would make the work easier. Everything stays coordinated under one roof. ## When Should You Reach Out? Reach out if your safe-food list is shrinking, or if you’re regularly choosing hunger over available food. Reach out if eating has been quietly deciding your social life for years. We also work with [teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapy-for-teens/) with ARFID as well. Most of the adults we treat for this say some version of the same thing: “I thought I was the only one.” You’re not. Our team at Therapy for Women can help. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Is ARFID just extreme picky eating?** No. Picky eating is a preference that doesn’t interfere with your life. This is a recognized eating disorder involving real fear, disgust, or absent appetite, with real consequences for nutrition, health, and daily functioning. The difference isn’t how many foods you eat. It’s what avoiding them costs you. ### **Can adults have ARFID?** Yes. Although it’s often described as a childhood condition, [adults can develop ARFID or carry it from childhood](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC12611332/). Many adults have had it their whole lives without a name for it, since the diagnosis only entered the DSM-5 in 2013. ### **Is it related to ADHD or autism?** They overlap significantly. Sensory sensitivity, unreliable hunger signals, and the executive effort of preparing food all make ARFID more common in neurodivergent people. Treatment works best when it accounts for that, which is why we treat the whole picture rather than the eating in isolation. ### **Will treatment force me to eat foods I hate?** No. Forced exposure fails, and decades of “just try one bite” already proved that to you. Treatment expands your comfort zone gradually, starting where you are, with you in control of the pace the entire way. **Categories:** Eating Disorders, Therapy for Teens **Tags:** ADHD, ARFID, eating disorders, picky eating --- ### [How to Stop Having Anxiety About Sleep](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/25/why-do-i-have-anxiety-about-sleep/) **Published:** August 25, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** It’s almost midnight, and you’re wide awake doing the math. If you fall asleep right now, you’ll get six hours. Now five and a half. The more you count, the more alert you feel. If anxiety about sleep has turned your bed into a place you dread, you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. ![woman feeling anxiety about sleep ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/pexels-cottonbro-6568105-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Anxiety About Sleep? Anxiety about sleep is the worry, dread, or racing thoughts that show up specifically around bedtime or the act of falling asleep. Sometimes it starts after a stretch of bad nights. Sometimes it arrives for no clear reason at all. n its most intense form, a genuine fear of sleep itself, it’s sometimes called somniphobia, though most women we see experience the quieter, grinding version: anxiety about sleep that builds as the evening goes on. Here’s the cruel part. The worry itself keeps you awake. You lie there thinking, “I have to sleep, I have to sleep,” and that pressure floods your body with the exact stress hormones that make rest impossible. So you spiral. Then the next night, you remember how bad last night felt, and the dread starts even earlier. It’s a loop, and once you’re in it, willpower alone won’t get you out. ## Why Does Anxiety About Sleep Get Worse at Night? During the day, you’re busy. Distractions keep your mind occupied. But once the lights go off and the house goes quiet, there’s nothing left to drown out your thoughts. For many women, this is when the brain decides to replay every awkward conversation, every unfinished task, every worst-case scenario. [Research shows](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sleep/articles/10.3389/frsle.2024.1322761/full) women report more bedtime worry and nighttime rumination than men, and they’re two to three times as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety or depression over their lifetime. In other words, if you feel like your mind betrays you the moment your head hits the pillow, there’s a real pattern behind it. [Research shows](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sleep/articles/10.3389/frsle.2024.1322761/full) women report more bedtime worry and nighttime rumination than men, and they’re two to three times as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety or depression over their lifetime. In other words, if you feel like your mind betrays you the moment your head hits the pillow, there’s a real pattern behind it. [Hormonal shifts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/05/how-hormone-imbalances-cause-anxiety-in-women-how-to-cope/), caregiving loads, and the mental tally of everything you’re responsible for all pile on after dark. For many women, sleep anxiety peaks in exactly these quiet, unstructured hours. No wonder bedtime feels less like rest and more like a second shift. ## What Does Anxiety About Sleep Feel Like? This kind of worry doesn’t always look like obvious panic. Often it’s quieter, and easier to brush off. You might recognize yourself in a few of these: - You start dreading bedtime hours before it arrives, sometimes as early as dinner - Your heart races or your thoughts speed up the moment you get into bed - You check the clock again and again, calculating how little sleep you’ll get - You feel exhausted all day but strangely “wired” once it’s time to actually rest - You’ve started relying on your phone, the TV, or a drink to knock yourself out If several of these feel familiar, that’s useful information. Naming the pattern is the first step toward loosening its grip. ## What Actually Helps Anxiety About Sleep? The good news is that anxiety about sleep responds remarkably well to the right kind of support. You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through it forever. We treat it from two directions at once: therapy and, when it makes sense for you, psychiatry. On the therapy side, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the gold-standard, most-researched treatment for anxiety, backed by decades of trials, and it’s central to our approach to [anxiety therapy in Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/). Rather than pushing you to “try harder” to sleep, CBT targets the worry-and-bed connection, so lying down stops triggering alarm. We pair it with [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/ "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT")) for the racing-mind piece. Instead of fighting your anxious thoughts (which tends to make them louder), ACT teaches you to notice them and let them pass without spiraling. You learn to say, “There’s that worry again,” and stay in bed anyway. Many of our clients describe it as finally stepping off the hamster wheel. Sometimes therapy alone is enough. Sometimes a little extra support helps, and that’s where our [in-house psychiatry](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) comes in. Because our prescribers work under the same roof as our therapists, you’re not stuck coordinating between separate offices or repeating your story to a stranger. Your whole team talks to each other. And if medication is something you’d rather avoid, that’s completely fine too. The point of an evaluation is information, not pressure. Many options are gentle, short-term, and compatible with the life you’re already living, so you get to make the call with a full picture in front of you. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### Is sleep anxiety the same as insomnia? They’re related but different, and they often travel together. Insomnia is the difficulty itself: trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early. Sleep anxiety is the worry *about* sleep, and it can both cause insomnia and be caused by it. The distinction matters because treating the anxiety often unlocks the sleep, which is exactly where therapy comes in. ### What is somniphobia? Somniphobia is an intense fear of falling asleep itself, sometimes driven by nightmares, fear of losing control, or past trauma. It’s more severe than typical sleep anxiety, and it’s also very treatable. If bedtime triggers genuine fear rather than worry, mention that specifically when you reach out, since it shapes the treatment approach. ### How do I calm sleep anxiety in the moment? When the spiral starts, the goal is to lower the pressure, not force sleep. Getting out of bed for a few minutes, doing something quiet and boring in dim light, and returning when you feel drowsy interrupts the bed-equals-worry association. Slow exhales longer than your inhales help settle your nervous system. These are stopgaps; therapy is what retrains the pattern underneath. ### Does melatonin help with sleep anxiety? Melatonin nudges your body clock, but it doesn’t treat anxiety, which is usually the real engine here. Some people find it takes the edge off; many with sleep anxiety notice little difference because worry overrides it. Before adding any supplement or sleep aid, it’s worth a conversation with a prescriber who can look at the whole picture. ## When Should You Reach Out for Help? You don’t have to wait until you’re completely depleted to ask for support. If anxiety about sleep has worn you down, consider reaching out when any of these ring true: - The worry has lasted more than a few weeks and isn’t easing on its own - Your sleep, or lack of it, is affecting your mood, focus, or relationships - You’re leaning on alcohol or unprescribed sleep aids to get through the night - The dread of bedtime is starting to shrink the rest of your day If you’re nodding along, that instinct is worth trusting. Reaching out isn’t a sign you’ve failed at managing your own mind. It’s a smart, ordinary step toward feeling like yourself again. We would love to help! **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, anxiety about sleep, insomnia, sleep anxiety --- ### [Why Can't I Cry? Essential Truths Behind Emotional Numbness](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/09/04/why-cant-i-cry-essential-truths-behind-emotional-numbness/) **Published:** September 4, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** The moment called for tears. The funeral, the breakup, the movie that wrecks everyone. And you sat there dry-eyed, watching yourself feel almost nothing, wondering what’s wrong with you. If you’ve ever typed “why can’t I cry” into your phone late at night, this post is for you. One quick thing first. If your eyes are physically dry or you’ve noticed you can’t produce tears at all, conditions like dry eye syndrome and some medications can affect tear production, and that’s worth mentioning to a doctor. This post is about the other thing: when the tears won’t come because the *feelings* can’t get through. ## Why Can’t I Cry Even When I’m Sad? So, the question remains about crying, even when sadness is real. The most common answer is [emotional numbness.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/14/the-truth-about-emotional-numbness-why-you-feel-nothing/) This numbness often masks real feelings that persist beneath stress. Understanding this can help you approach emotions with gentleness. It may take time to notice what you feel. Crying requires access to your feelings at full volume. For many women, that volume got turned down long ago. When emotions have been too big, too constant, or too unsafe to express for long enough, your system protects you. It mutes the signal. The sadness is still in there. What’s missing is the release valve. Even when feelings feel quiet, the body stores them for later. That hidden pressure can intensify over time. Seek support to learn safer ways to let emotion surface. That’s why “just let it out” advice never helps. You can’t release what you can’t reach. ![woman wondering, why can't I cry? even though she's sad](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/fa-barboza-yRB81uWKK-M-unsplash-scaled.jpg) ## Your Nervous System Is Protecting You Here’s the part almost nobody explains. Not crying usually doesn’t mean you feel too little. It means you’ve felt too much, for too long. There is too little safety to let it out. Chronic stress and old pain can push your system into a protective shutdown. It’s the same state behind [functional freeze.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/09/09/what-is-functional-freeze-and-proven-methods-to-overcome-it/) In that state, you keep performing your life while feeling muted inside. Numbness and productivity often show up together. This is exactly why so many high-functioning women stop being able to cry. Trauma does this too. Research on emotional blunting shows that after overwhelming experiences, the ability to cry can shut down as a defense. Sometimes it stays down for years. Your body decided tears weren’t safe once, and it hasn’t gotten the update that things are different now. ## Why Can’t I Cry Since Starting Medication? If you started asking “why can’t I cry” after a prescription change, this section deserves a straight answer, because every article mentions medication and almost none of them tell you what to do. Emotional blunting is a recognized side effect of SSRIs and similar antidepressants: [research suggests 40 to 60% of people taking them experience some emotional dampening](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8981644/), and in one study, about 1 in 5 people on SSRIs reported being unable to cry. The medication that softened your lows may have quietly shaved off your tears along with them. Please hear the important part: do not stop or adjust your medication on your own. Blunting is often fixable with a dose change or a different medication, and that’s a conversation for your prescriber. Because we have an in-house [psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/), our clients can have that conversation with someone who talks directly to their therapist, so nothing gets lost between offices. ## Why Can’t I Cry Anymore? Maybe you used to cry easily, and somewhere along the way it just stopped. “Why can’t I cry anymore” is its own version of this question, and the “anymore” is a clue. It usually points to when the muting began: a loss you had to power through, a relationship where your feelings weren’t safe, a stretch of years where someone else’s needs ate all the room. Over time, numbness becomes the norm, and it costs more than tears. [Grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/grief-counseling/) gets stuck instead of moving through. Joy flattens along with sadness, because your nervous system can’t mute selectively. And connection suffers, because crying is one of the ways humans signal “I need you” to each other. If the flatness has spread into everything, or it comes with hopelessness or a sense of emptiness that’s coloring your whole life, please tell a professional. Persistent numbness can be part of depression, and that’s treatable too. ## How Do You Get Your Tears Back? Not by forcing them. Watching sad movies to make yourself cry usually just proves the numbness and deepens the frustration. Tears come back as a byproduct of safety, not as a project. In therapy, that means working with the protection itself. Slowly, your nervous system learns that big feelings can move through you without destroying you. [Somatic approaches](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/somatic-therapy/) reconnect you with the body sensations underneath emotion. For women whose numbness started with trauma, EMDR helps process the original experiences so the defense can finally stand down. Many of our clients describe the first unexpected cry in session as strange and enormous, like a door in the house finally opening. Our [trauma therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy/) consider that a milestone, not a breakdown. ## When Should You Reach Out? Reach out if the numbness has outlasted whatever caused it, or if you’re grieving something and the grief has nowhere to go. Reach out if you’ve started wondering whether you’re broken. You’re not. A nervous system that learned to protect you this well can learn to stand down, and you don’t have to figure out the combination alone. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood work with women who feel everything and show nothing. Contact us today to schedule a session. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Is it bad if I can’t cry?** Asking why can’t I cry is usually a sign of health. Some part of you misses your feelings. By itself, not crying isn’t dangerous. It’s information. An inability to cry usually signals numbness, protective shutdown, medication effects, or long-practiced suppression. All of those are workable. It becomes worth addressing when it comes packaged with flatness, stuck grief, or disconnection from people you love. ### **Why do I want to cry but can’t?** That gap, feeling the pressure of tears with no release, is the signature of blocked emotion rather than absent emotion. The sadness is present and reaching for its exit, but a protective brake is on. Therapy works on the brake, not the sadness. ### **Can antidepressants stop you from crying?** Yes. [Emotional blunting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/28/important-things-to-know-about-emotional-blunting-from-a-psychiatrist/) affects an estimated 40 to 60% of people on SSRIs, and an inability to cry is one of its common forms. If you noticed the change after starting or increasing a medication, bring it to your prescriber. Never adjust the dose yourself. ### **Will I ever cry again?** Almost certainly, yes. The capacity isn’t gone; it’s guarded. When the underlying cause gets addressed, whether that’s trauma, chronic stress, or a medication tweak, tears typically return on their own, often catching people by surprise. **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma --- ### [Proven Ways to Cope with Mental Compulsions in OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/) **Published:** January 29, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you may experience compulsions. These are repetitive thoughts or mental acts that you feel driven to perform in response to an obsession. These behaviors, known as covert rituals, or mental compulsions can be as distressing and time-consuming as physical actions like hand washing or checking. They are often not observable to others, making them a hidden but challenging aspect of living with OCD. At Therapy for Women, our licensed therapists specialize in [OCD therapy ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy)using exposure and response prevention [(ERP) therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/). This is considered the gold-standard approach. We understand how debilitating mental compulsions can be. ![Woman thinking about her mental compulsions ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/woman-thinking-while-looking-notebook-scaled.jpg) ## What Are Mental Compulsions? Mental compulsions are compulsive behaviors that take place in the mind rather than physically. Just like with physical compulsions, the goal of performing a mental compulsion is to try to ease the anxiety and distress caused by an obsessive thought. However, engaging in them actually reinforces the obsession and worsens OCD symptoms in the long run. Some common examples of OCD mental compulsions include: - **Mentally reviewing or replaying** events or conversations to check for feared mistakes or reassurance - **Mentally repeating** special words, phrases, prayers, or numbers - **Counting** in certain patterns or numbers - Purposely thinking “good” thoughts to **neutralize** “bad” thoughts - **Compulsively making lists** in your head - **Hyper-analyzing** your thoughts or bodily sensations for feared hidden meanings - **Mentally undoing** or **canceling out** unwanted thoughts or actions - **Mentally reassuring** yourself that feared consequences won’t happen Mental compulsions can be very tricky to recognize because they are not outwardly visible. The line between obsessions and mental compulsions can also blur. If you find yourself stuck in repetitive thought loops or feeling compelled to perform mental rituals for hours each day, it may be a sign that you need more help. ### Physical vs. Mental Compulsions: What’s the Difference? All OCD compulsions serve the same purpose: relieving the anxiety an obsession creates. The difference is simply where they happen. Physical compulsions are visible behaviors, while mental compulsions run silently in your mind. Most people with OCD experience some mix of both. The most common physical compulsions include: - **Checking:** repeatedly confirming doors are locked, appliances are off, or nothing harmful has happened - **Washing and cleaning:** excessive hand washing or sanitizing to prevent contamination - **Counting:** repeating actions a specific number of times until something feels “just right” - **Arranging:** ordering items symmetrically or in a particular way to ease discomfort - **Reassurance seeking:** repeatedly asking others to confirm everything is okay Whether a compulsion happens in your hands or your head, the relief it brings is temporary, and each repetition strengthens the obsession behind it. The good news: ERP treats both kinds the same way, and it works on both. ## How to Stop Mental Compulsions with ERP Therapy The most effective way to tackle mental compulsions is through ERP therapy for OCD. In ERP therapy, you work with a trained therapist to gradually expose yourself to feared thoughts and situations that trigger your compulsions. At the same time, you resist the urge to perform the compulsive behavior. For mental compulsions, this involves allowing yourself to experience the distressing obsessive thoughts without engaging in any rituals. ### ERP Exercises Exercises for mental compulsions may include: - **Writing down your obsessive thoughts** without neutralizing them with mental compulsions - **Recording yourself speaking your feared thoughts aloud** and listening to the recording - **Doing everyday activities** while letting obsessive thoughts pop up without analyzing them - **Agreeing with and even exaggerating** your feared thoughts instead of mentally arguing with them [ERP therapy ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy)can be challenging and anxiety-provoking, but it is the most effective treatment for all types of OCD. A study published in the [Journal of Clinical Psychiatry ](https://www.psychiatrist.com/jcp/)found that ERP therapy significantly reduced OCD symptoms in 80% of patients. The gains were maintained at follow-up an average of two years later. With help, it is possible to retrain your brain. ERP therapy helps you develop the skills to tolerate distress, resist compulsions, and challenge the beliefs underlying your OCD. ## Our Approach If you’re struggling with OCD, you are not alone. Our experienced therapists can equip you with the tools to overcome mental compulsions. We can help you take back your life from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Starting therapy can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re battling OCD. We strive to create a warm, non-judgmental environment where you can feel supported and understood. Our compassionate therapists will work with you to develop a personalized treatment plan that addresses your unique needs and goals. Click here to [get started](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started). **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** compulsions, ERP, mental compulsions, OCD --- ### [What is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How to Cope](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/11/03/sad-101-pumpkin-spice-serotonin/) **Published:** November 3, 2022 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** SAD, or [Seasonal Affective Disorder](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651), affects around 10 million Americans annually. More colloquially known as “seasonal depression,” SAD can play a large role in increased anxiety this time of year. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721439223133-682x1024.jpg) Ah, Fall. Pumpkin spice lattes have appeared, leaves are changing colors, and for some people, anxiety may be starting to feel worse. While the definitive cause of SAD is not entirely known, we DO know that fewer hours of sunlight affects our [serotonin production](https://www.pbsnc.org/blogs/science/sunlight-happiness-link/#:~:text=When%20sunlight%20enters%20your%20eyes,emotions%2C%20appetite%2C%20and%20digestion.), which is related to how our brains regulate the ‘off’ switch to our whether to react to stimuli with fight or flight response. When our bodies are activated with anxiety, we tend to lean into the feelings and search our brains for what dangers may lie ahead. In the case of [Generalized Anxiety Disorder](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/generalized-anxiety-disorder#:~:text=Generalized%20anxiety%20disorder%20is%20a,muscle%20tension%2C%20and%20trouble%20sleeping.), it is just the way our brains are wired. With less sun, however, hot human summer can turn into an anxious human fall, filled with mixed emotions and increased stress. This means that typical anxiety symptoms may feel out of the blue, resulting in panic, crying spells, disturbed sleep, and disturbed appetite. ## Stop searching for the ‘why,’ and instead sit with the ‘what.’ If this sounds familiar, I’m here to remind you that it is okay when these feelings come up. The dreary days and gloomy weather will not last, much like how you feel now. But, while coping, the most important thing is to stop searching for the “why” and instead sit with the “what.” I hear it all of the time in my office. “If I knew why I was feeling anxious, I could fix it, and I would feel better.” Unfortunately, the specific “why” does not exist for those of us struggling with SAD. As a result of our dysregulated fight or flight response, it can be tripped by various stimuli we aren’t even aware of when we don’t need our nervous system to activate. So, the more you search for the “why,” the longer you will increase the anxiety symptoms. The “what,” on the other hand, is identifiable. Getting in touch with how we feel is essential to processing the anxiety and being compassionate with ourselves. We can counteract anxiety symptoms by leaning into things that are soothing and restorative in response to how we feel. ## Here are a few suggestions to try and help cope with SAD: 1\. I know you’ve heard it before, but believe me, get a [sun lamp](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/are-sun-lamps-best-to-improve-your-winter-mood/#:~:text=Sun%20lamps%20positively%20impact%20your,line%20of%20treatment%20for%20SAD.)! I cannot recommend these enough. They are inexpensive and help your brain and body reset when it’s dark longer. In order for our circadian rhythm to understand when it is time to be awake and when it is time for bed, we need sunlight. These lamps help regulate serotonin production and aid in a better quality of sleep. 2\. Go for walks, even if you have to bundle up. Getting outside of your space and into the fresh air can help your nervous system regulate. Exercise is extremely helpful in [reducing anxiety symptoms](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/can-exercise-help-treat-anxiety-2019102418096)! 3\. Journal, journal, journal. Have too many thoughts in your brain? Write them out and leave them there. We do not need to engage with every intrusive thought that pops up, as convincing as they may feel. With darker days may come moodier thoughts, and it is imperative to treat them like clouds. See them, acknowledge them, and let them float away. The more we dwell in them, the more anxious we make ourselves. Adding these practices to your seasonal routine can help you get through the gray days ahead and add some pumpkin spice serotonin to your fall! --- *Becca specializes in anxiety, depression, adolescents, OCD, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Becca, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/becca-adleberg-m-ed)*. *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** current events, SAD, seasonal affective disorder --- ### [What Atypical Anorexia Really Looks Like & How to Recover](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/05/what-atypical-anorexia-really-looks-like-how-to-recover/) **Published:** August 5, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Your boss mentioned how great you look. Your friends keep asking for your secret. And nobody knows the truth. You’re terrified of food, the rules run your entire day, and you can’t remember the last time you ate without doing math. That gap between how sick you feel and how “healthy” everyone says you look has a name: atypical anorexia. ## What Is Atypical Anorexia? Atypical anorexia is an eating disorder in which someone meets every criterion for anorexia nervosa except one: their weight isn’t considered low. The intense fear of weight gain, the restriction, the distress about body and shape? All present. It’s a recognized diagnosis in the DSM-5-TR, listed under Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorders (OSFED). The same fear, the same restriction. The only difference is what the outside world can see. Your body doesn’t announce the illness, so the illness hides in plain sight. ![woman with atypical anorexia struggling to eat dinner ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-ekrulila-20488689-scaled.jpg) ## Signs of Atypical Anorexia The signs mirror anorexia, minus the one everybody wrongly treats as the requirement: - Rigid food rules that keep multiplying, and real fear when one gets broken - Significant weight loss, whatever number the scale started at - Constant mental math about food, eating, and your body - Intense fear of gaining weight, no matter what you weigh now - Compensating for eating through restriction or exercise that feels compulsory - Your sense of worth rising and falling with your body Notice that “being underweight” isn’t on the list. It was never the disorder. The disorder is what’s happening in your mind and behavior, and by that measure, atypical anorexia IS anorexia. ## Why Does It Get Missed? Because weight stigma runs so deep that even medicine catches it. When a thin woman loses weight rapidly, people worry. When a woman in a larger body does the same thing through the same dangerous restriction, she gets compliments. Family celebrates. Sometimes even doctors praise the numbers without asking how they happened. Some women are even turned away from eating disorder care because they don’t “look the part.” That teaches them the most damaging lesson possible: get sicker, and then you’ll deserve help. So atypical anorexia gets cheered on. Every compliment reinforces the restriction. Every “you look amazing” tightens the rules. Slowly, the person suffering learns to distrust her own alarm bells. Restriction is especially good at hiding when it wears a wellness costume, the same dynamic that drives [orthorexia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/27/what-is-orthorexia-and-how-to-recover/), where “eating clean” conceals an eating disorder in plain sight. The two often overlap, and both thrive on the world’s applause. ## Is Atypical Anorexia as Serious as Anorexia? Yes, and the research is unambiguous. Studies show people with atypical anorexia face the same medical danger as those with anorexia, because [rapid weight loss and malnutrition damage the body at any size](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9756584/). The heart, digestion, hormones, and brain all take the hit, no matter what the scale says. Research also finds equal or even greater psychological distress. That’s likely because these women fight the illness and the world’s disbelief at the same time. And this isn’t rare. According to the Cleveland Clinic, an estimated 25 to 40% of people in eating disorder treatment settings have it. That’s not an asterisk on anorexia. That’s a huge share of everyone in treatment, and most waited too long because nobody, including themselves, believed they qualified. ## How Is It Treated? The same way anorexia is treated. Therapy addresses the fear, the rules, and whatever the restriction has been managing underneath. Nutrition support ends the deprivation your body has been living in. At our practice, our [eating disorder therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) work together with our in-house registered dietitian, whose [nutrition counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) follows a non-diet, Health at Every Size approach. We want to say the next part clearly, because it’s the fear that keeps many women from ever calling. Treatment with us will not be a weight-loss program. It will not be a project to shrink you. Your body is not the problem we’re solving. The restriction, the fear, and the stolen mental space are. When anxiety or depression ride along, as they often do, our [in-house psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can help with that too. One honest note: because restriction affects the body at any size, medical monitoring matters. Part of our first sessions is making sure you have the right level of care, including medical support alongside therapy when needed. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Do you have to be underweight to have anorexia?** No. If you meet the mental and behavioral criteria for anorexia without a low body weight, that’s atypical anorexia. It’s a recognized diagnosis with the same seriousness. Weight was never the measure of how much you’re suffering, and it isn’t the measure of whether you deserve treatment. ### **Is atypical anorexia less serious than anorexia?** No. Research shows the same medical complications and equal or greater psychological distress. The “atypical” in the name refers only to weight presentation, not severity, and many clinicians consider the label itself part of the problem. ### **Will treatment focus on my weight?** Not with us. Our practice works from a non-diet, [Health at Every Size approach](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/health-at-every-size), which means treatment targets the restriction, fear, and distress rather than pursuing any body size. Your treatment team’s job is to give you your life back, not to change your body to match anyone’s expectations. ### **What’s the difference between atypical anorexia and anorexia?** Clinically, one criterion: current body weight. Everything else, the restriction, the fear of weight gain, the body distress, and the medical risks of malnutrition, is the same. In practice, the biggest difference is that the atypical version hides better, which often means more years of suffering before anyone offers help. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need to lose more weight first. You don’t need anyone’s permission, a dramatic rock bottom, or a body that “proves” it [to begin recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/02/10-exciting-signs-you-are-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/). Reach out if food rules are running your days, or if fear has replaced hunger as the thing that decides what you eat. Our team of [eating disorder specialists](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy) at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood treats eating disorders in every body, with therapists, a dietitian, and psychiatric providers who work together. Contact us today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anorexia, atypical anorexia, eating disorder treatment, eating disorders --- ### [Surprising Truth About Perimenopause Anxiety You Need to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/09/08/the-truth-about-perimenopause-anxiety-no-one-talks-about/) **Published:** September 8, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You’ve handled stress well your whole life. So why, somewhere in your 40s, did your body start acting like everything is an emergency? If anxiety showed up out of nowhere alongside changing cycles and 3 a.m. wake-ups, perimenopause anxiety may be the explanation, and it’s one of the most common, least discussed parts of this transition. ## What Is Perimenopause Anxiety? Perimenopause anxiety is the worry, panic, irritability, or sense of dread that shows up during the years leading into menopause, often in your 40s. For some women it’s brand new. For others, it’s old anxiety that suddenly roars back louder than before. Most of us expect hot flashes and night sweats, not panic attacks. So when the emotional symptoms hit first, we rarely connect the dots. You might assume you’re just stressed, or burned out, or somehow failing at coping. But your body is going through a real, measurable shift, and your brain is along for the ride. Recognizing this helps you respond with care rather than self-criticism. ![woman sitting in bed struggling with perimenopause anxiety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/pexels-karola-g-6633576-scaled.jpg) ## Why Does Perimenopause Cause Anxiety? The short answer is hormones, specifically estrogen. During perimenopause, estrogen doesn’t decline in a smooth, predictable line. It swings up and down unpredictably, sometimes wildly, from one week to the next. Estrogen helps regulate serotonin and other brain chemicals that keep your mood steady. So when it lurches around, your nervous system takes the hit right along with it. We break down the full picture of [how hormones and anxiety interact](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/05/how-hormone-imbalances-cause-anxiety-in-women-how-to-cope/) in its own post, but perimenopause is when this connection tends to get loudest. Research confirms this isn’t in your head. Perimenopause is a window when women are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression than before or after this transition. In fact, [researchers](https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-025-03547-z) expect the global burden of perimenopausal anxiety to climb by 40 percent by 2035. Add poor sleep, shifting identity, aging parents, and teenagers in the house, and you’ve got a perfect storm. The hormones light the match, and real life pours on the fuel. ## What Does Perimenopause Anxiety Feel Like? This kind of perimenopause anxiety doesn’t always look like classic worry. It can feel physical, sudden, and deeply unlike you. You might recognize yourself in a few of these: - Your heart pounds or you feel panicky out of nowhere, sometimes waking you at night - You’re irritable or rageful in a way that startles even you - You lie awake with a racing mind, even when you’re exhausted - You feel a constant low-grade dread, like something bad is coming - Small stressors that never bothered you suddenly feel unmanageable If several of these ring true, that’s worth paying attention to, not brushing off. Naming what’s happening is the first step toward feeling steady again. ## What Actually Helps Perimenopause Anxiety? Here’s the reassuring part. This is treatable, and you have more options than you might think. The most effective approach usually combines support for your mind and, when it makes sense, support for your hormones. In therapy, we help you interrupt the spiral of anxious thoughts and rebuild a sense of control. You can learn skills to identify triggers, challenge negative beliefs, and practice gradual exposure. These steps reduce avoidance and promote calmer thinking. Consistent practice strengthens resilience over time. It’s also worth talking to your doctor or a menopause specialist about whether hormone replacement therapy (HRT) fits your situation. Because perimenopausal anxiety is often rooted in hormone changes, some women find that addressing the hormones directly helps in a way that anti-anxiety medication alone doesn’t. That’s a medical decision for you and your prescriber, but it deserves a real conversation rather than a dismissive wave. Our practice also includes [in-house psychiatry](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/), so if medication is part of your plan, your therapist and prescriber can work as one team. You won’t be left coordinating between separate offices or repeating your story to a stranger. The point is a full picture, so you get to choose what fits your life. ### When Should You Reach Out for Help? You don’t have to wait until you’re barely functioning to ask for support. Consider reaching out if any of these sound familiar: - The anxiety has lasted more than a few weeks and isn’t easing - It’s affecting your sleep, your work, or your closest relationships - You’re having panic attacks or a level of dread that scares you - You feel like a stranger in your own body and mind If you’re nodding along, trust that instinct. Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. It means you’re taking your own well-being seriously during a genuinely hard transition. ### At what age does perimenopause anxiety start? Perimenopause typically begins in your 40s, though it can start in your late 30s, and anxiety is often one of the earliest symptoms, sometimes showing up years before your periods become noticeably irregular. That early arrival is exactly why so many women don’t connect the dots. If new anxiety appeared in this window, hormones belong on the suspect list. ## Frequently Asked Questions ### Can perimenopause cause panic attacks? Yes. Sudden estrogen drops can trigger heart palpitations, surges of dread, and full panic attacks, sometimes waking you from sleep. Many women end up in urgent care convinced something is wrong with their heart. It’s always worth ruling out medical causes, and once you have, perimenopause is a common culprit. ### Does perimenopause anxiety go away after menopause? For many women, yes; once hormones stop fluctuating and settle at their new level, the anxiety often eases. But that transition can take years, and anxiety left untreated has a way of building habits that outlast the hormones. Treating it now means feeling better now, rather than waiting out a timeline nobody can promise you. ### Should I take anxiety medication or try HRT? It’s not either-or, and the right answer depends on your symptoms, health history, and preferences. HRT addresses the hormonal root for some women, SSRIs treat the anxiety directly and help many others, and some women benefit from both. This is exactly the conversation to have with providers who talk to each other, which is how our therapists and psychiatric team work. ### You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle This Perimenopause anxiety can feel like it came out of nowhere and will never lift. It will. With the right support, this season of life becomes far more manageable, and you can feel like yourself again. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, hormonal imbalance, hormones, menopause, perimenopause, perimenopause anxiety, women's hormones --- ### [The Proven Guide to Attachment-Based Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/18/the-truth-about-attachment-based-therapy/) **Published:** August 18, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Excerpt:** Attachment based therapy helps you understand why you keep repeating painful relationship patterns. Learn what the four attachment styles mean. **Content:** You keep ending up in the same place. Different person, same ache. Maybe you get close to someone and then feel the sudden urge to run. Or maybe you hold on so tightly that you push them away without meaning to. Attachment based therapy looks at why that pattern keeps repeating [in relationships](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/relationships/), and, more importantly, how to change it. ![Woman struggling in her relationship, considering attachment based therapy. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/pexels-ron-lach-9654037-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Attachment Based Therapy? Attachment therapy focuses on how your earliest relationships shaped the way you connect now. The idea grows out of attachment theory, which psychologist John Bowlby first developed decades ago. The bonds you formed as a child, with parents or caregivers, taught your nervous system what to expect from closeness. Those early lessons tend to stick around. They quietly show up in your marriage, your friendships, and the way you handle conflict today. Here’s the good news. You can change your attachment style. ## What Are the Different Attachment Styles? Before we begin attachment based therapy, we’ll look at your attachment style. Most of us settle into one of four patterns, shaped by how safe and seen we felt growing up. **Secure attachment** takes root when a child’s needs get met reliably. If your caregivers showed up, comforted you, and came back after they left, you probably learned that closeness is safe. As an adult, you can lean on people and let them lean on you without much fear. The other three styles all count as insecure, and they’re incredibly common. In fact, a little under half of adults land in one of them ([Mickelson, Kessler, & Shaver, 1997](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-43182-015)). So if you see yourself below, you’re in very good company. **Anxious attachment** tends to form when care was there one day and gone the next. That inconsistency teaches a kid to stay on high alert. Grown up, it can look like needing constant reassurance, reading into every unanswered text, and always bracing for people to leave. **Avoidant attachment** often grows out of having your feelings brushed aside. You learned to handle things alone, because reaching out never got you very far. Now closeness can feel almost suffocating, and you may hold people at arm’s length without quite knowing why. **Disorganized attachment** usually traces back to fear, often from trauma, when the person meant to protect you was also the one who scared you. It blends the anxious and avoidant patterns, so you might crave connection and dread it at the very same time. ## What Does Attachment Based Therapy Actually Do? Attachment based therapy gives you a place to feel what a secure relationship is actually like, sometimes for the very first time. Your therapist becomes a steady, reliable presence. Then, over time, that steadiness teaches your nervous system something new about what closeness can be. We’ll also help you catch your patterns as they happen. When you feel the urge to shut down or panic, we slow things right down and look at what’s going on underneath. Usually there’s an old fear driving the reaction. Once you can see it clearly, it starts to lose its grip on you. Then you get to practice new ways of relating. That might mean asking for what you need out loud, or letting someone stay close without bracing for them to leave. Small shifts, repeated often, add up to genuine change. Sessions themselves feel less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Yes, you’ll talk about your childhood, but only as a way to understand the present, never to assign blame. Some weeks you’ll sit with a specific memory. Other weeks you’ll unpack a fight you had on Tuesday. Bit by bit, the picture comes together, and there’s no wrong way to do it. ## When Should You Reach Out? - You keep having the same painful conflict in relationship after relationship - Getting close to someone [makes you anxious](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/08/why-relationship-anxiety-hijacks-your-brain-and-how-to-heal/), or makes you want to bolt - Trusting people is hard, even the ones who’ve clearly earned it - You feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by people Changing how you connect is slow, tender work, and it won’t happen overnight. But your attachment style is not a personality trait. You can change it. Ready to understand your patterns and build something healthier? [Contact](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) us today! Therapy for Women Center is your go to source for attachment based therapy in Philadelphia and online. **Categories:** Anxiety, Relationships **Tags:** anxiety, Anxious Attachment, attachment styles, relationships, Therapy Modalities --- ### [What Triggers Trichotillomania: Treatment and How to Manage](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/31/what-triggers-trichotillomania-treatment-and-how-to-manage/) **Published:** August 31, 2024 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** If you’ve ever pulled out a strand of hair without quite deciding to, then another, then looked down and felt your stomach drop at the small pile on your desk, you already know how trichotillomania works. It’s a condition where the urge to pull, from your scalp, your brows, your lashes, keeps winning even though you hate what it costs you. Understanding what triggers trichotillomania is the first real step toward managing it, and the condition is far more treatable than the shame lets you believe. ![Woman with trichotillomania covers up her bald spots with makeup](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/front-view-woman-using-dry-shampoo-home-681x1024.jpg) ## What Are the Most Common Trichotillomania Triggers? If you’ve been searching for what triggers trichotillomania, the honest answer is that it’s different for everyone. Triggers are the moments, feelings, and situations that make the urge to pull stronger. The most common ones we see: - **Stress and anxiety.** For many women, pulling ramps up when everything else does. It works as a pressure valve, briefly, which is exactly what keeps it going. - **Stillness and boredom.** Long meetings, scrolling in bed, sitting in traffic. Your hands drift up before you’ve noticed you moved them. - **Deep focus.** Plenty of people pull most while reading, studying, or concentrating, when the rest of the brain is occupied. - **Mirrors and photos.** Seeing your reflection can start a scan for hairs that feel wrong, coarse, or out of place, and the scan becomes the session. - **Difficult emotions.** Loneliness, anger, shame, and sadness all lower your defenses against the urge, and pulling becomes a way of not feeling them. Some pulling is focused, meaning you’re aware of the urge and the relief. Some is automatic, and you only discover it happened afterward. Most women experience both. You have to notice your trichotillomania triggers first before we can make change. ## How Does Trichotillomania Affect Daily Life? The visible costs come first: thinning patches, missing lashes or brows, skin irritation, and the time spent covering it all with makeup, hairstyles, or penciled-in brows before anyone can see you. But the hidden costs usually run deeper. You might turn down swimming, sleepovers, wind, rain, intimacy, or anything else that threatens the camouflage. You might avoid hairdressers for years. Then there’s the secrecy itself. Trichotillomania thrives on the belief that you’re the only adult woman doing this, and that anyone who found out would be disgusted. But it is much more common than you think. In a [study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32334275/) of more than 10,000 US adults, 1.7% were currently living with trichotillomania, and 79% of them had a co-occurring condition like anxiety or depression. Living with that belief is isolating in a way that has nothing to do with hair, and it’s often what brings women to therapy more than the pulling does. ## How to Cope With Trichotillomania Triggers Once you can name your trichotillomania triggers, you can start meeting those moments on purpose instead of discovering them mid-pull. If stress is your biggest driver, the real work is managing that before the trigger arrives. If stillness and focus are the problem, changing the environment helps more than willpower. Try a fidget under the desk, a different chair, gloves during your highest-risk hour, or sitting on your hands during the commute home. None of these strategies cure trichotillomania on their own. If you’ve tried them and felt like a failure when they didn’t hold, that isn’t evidence about you. It’s evidence that self-management has a ceiling, and that the structured version of these same ideas, done with a therapist, is a different thing entirely. ## What Is the Best Therapy for Trichotillomania? The best-supported treatment for trichotillomania is Habit Reversal Training, or HRT. It is a behavioral therapy built specifically for hair pulling and related conditions. At our practice, our therapists trained in body-focused repetitive behaviors use it as the foundation of treatment. HRT has three main parts. Awareness training helps you catch the pull earlier and earlier in the chain, since so much pulling happens on autopilot. Competing response training gives your hands something specific and incompatible to do the moment the urge arrives, until the urge passes. Stimulus control changes your environment to make pulling harder to start, built directly on the trichotillomania triggers you’ve identified. We often weave in [ACT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/) as well, because learning to let an urge exist without obeying it is a skill, and it’s trainable. Trichotillomania belongs to the same family as OCD, called obsessive-compulsive and related disorders, and our [OCD therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) team treats both. One honest note about medication: nothing is currently FDA-approved for trichotillomania, and the evidence for medication alone is limited. Where it earns its place is in treating the anxiety and depression that so often come along with pulling. Our [in-house psychiatric prescribers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can assess that with you and coordinate directly with your therapist. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need visible bald spots to deserve help, and you don’t need to have hit bottom. If pulling is taking up mental space, if you’re organizing your appearance or your plans around hiding it, we’d love to help. You also don’t need to map your trichotillomania triggers on your own before you come in. That’s part of the work, not a prerequisite. Recovery is rarely a straight line, and setbacks are part of how this condition heals rather than proof it can’t. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia treat trichotillomania with warmth and zero judgment, and nothing about it will surprise us. Contact us to get matched with a therapist who specializes in exactly this. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** BFRB, body focused repetitive behaviors, OCD, trichotillomania --- ### [10 Exciting Signs You are Recovering from an Eating Disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/02/10-exciting-signs-you-are-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/) **Published:** September 2, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Recovering from an eating disorder is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. As someone who has walked this path and now supports others as a therapist specializing in [eating disorder recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) in Philadelphia, I’ve seen firsthand how recovery can look different for everyone. However, there are some common signs that indicate you’re making progress on your healing journey. Here are ten signs that you’re on the path to recovering from an eating disorder: ![amanda white was once recovering from an eating disorder too](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/SBH_Amanda_Headshots_1111-scaled.jpeg) ## 1. You think about food less One of the most significant signs of recovering from an eating disorder is when you realize you’ve gone extended periods without obsessing over food or your body. The constant mental chatter about calories, weight, or your next meal starts to quiet down. You might suddenly notice that you’ve made it through an entire afternoon without once thinking about what you’re going to eat for dinner or how your body looks. ## 2. Your Social Life Improves Eating disorders often lead to isolation, but as you recover, you may find yourself more willing to engage socially. You might start reaching out to friends, attending gatherings, or simply enjoying conversations without feeling distracted by food-related thoughts. This renewed interest in social connections is a positive sign that you’re healing both emotionally and mentally. ## 3. You Feel More Present in Daily Life Recovery brings with it a sense of presence. You may notice that you’re more engaged in conversations, able to concentrate better at work or school, and generally more aware of your surroundings. This increased mindfulness is a sign that your eating disorder is loosening its grip on your attention and energy. ## 4. You Rediscover Food Preferences When Recovering from an Eating Disorder As you progress in recovering from an eating disorder, you may find yourself enjoying foods you previously avoided or feared. This could mean savoring a favorite childhood treat or trying new cuisines without guilt. Rediscovering the pleasure in eating is a powerful sign of healing and a step towards a more balanced relationship with food. ## 5. You Less Focus on Others’ Eating Habits Recovery often brings a shift in focus from others’ plates to your own. You may realize that you’re no longer constantly comparing your portions to those around you or mentally calculating the calories in others’ meals. You may notice following food or recipe accounts on social media is no longer interesting. This change indicates a healthier relationship with food and a reduced preoccupation with eating behaviors. ## 6. You Buy Clothes That Actually Fit Instead of purchasing “goal” clothing or obsessing over sizes, you start buying clothes that fit your current body comfortably. This shift represents a growing acceptance of your body and a move away from using clothing sizes as a measure of self-worth or recovery progress. ## 7. Exercise Becomes Self-Care When Recovering from an Eating Disorder If you previously structured your entire day around workouts, you might notice this rigidity fading. In recovering from an eating disorder, exercise becomes a form of self-care rather than punishment or compensation for eating. You can skip a workout without anxiety. Or you’re able to engage in movement that feels good for your body without obsessive planning. ## 8. You Experience a Wider Range of Emotions During your struggle with an eating disorder, you may have felt emotionally numb. As you recover, you start to experience a fuller range of emotions. While this can be challenging at times, it’s a sign that you’re reconnecting with yourself and processing feelings in a healthier way. ## 9. You Start Setting and Maintaining Boundaries Recovering from an eating disorder often involves learning to set healthy boundaries, both with yourself and others. You might find yourself saying “no” to things that don’t serve your recovery. Or, you might start speaking up about your needs in relationships. This is a powerful sign of growing self-respect and self-care. ## 10. You Believe in Your Worth Beyond Appearance Perhaps one of the most profound signs of recovering from an eating disorder is the genuine belief that your value as a person is not determined by your weight or appearance. You start to recognize and appreciate your other qualities, achievements, and the relationships in your life as sources of self-worth. At Therapy for Women Center, we take a [Health at Every Size ](https://asdah.org/haes/)approach to help you make this powerful shift. ## It Is Possible to Start Recovering From an Eating Disorder Remember, recovery is not linear, and it’s okay if you don’t experience all of these signs at once or consistently. Each small step is a victory worth celebrating. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder or recognizing these signs in yourself or a loved one, consider reaching out to a mental health professional specializing in eating disorders in Philadelphia. With the right support and tools, recovery is possible, and a healthier, more balanced life is within reach. Learn more about our [approach to eating disorder therapy.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorders/) **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** bulimia, eating disorder recovery, eating disorders, self care --- ### [How to Know if You Need a Psychiatrist for ADHD Evaluation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/08/04/how-to-know-if-you-need-a-psychiatrist-for-adhd-evaluation/) **Published:** August 4, 2026 **Author:** Eli Muhrer, MD **Content:** You’ve been in therapy for your anxiety for six years. It helped, some. But you’re still losing your keys, missing deadlines you cared about, and reading the same paragraph four times. Somewhere in the last year you started wondering whether anxiety was ever the whole story. If you’re searching for a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation, here’s exactly what that process looks like and who can actually give you an answer. ![Woman wondering is she should see a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/pexels-mizunokozuki-12911180-scaled.jpg) ## Why Do So Many Women Get Diagnosed So Late? Because nobody was looking. Boys with ADHD tend to be hyperactive and disruptive, which gets them noticed in second grade. [Girls with ADHD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/24/adhd-in-women-psychiatrist/) are more often inattentive. They daydream. They lose things. They’re bright but “not applying themselves.” That doesn’t get you an evaluation. It gets you a note home about focus. Research in[ *European Psychiatry*](https://www.ecnp.eu/media/or1endkm/adhd-in-women.pdf) tracked when adults finally learn they have ADHD. Women averaged about 29. Men averaged about 24. Symptoms started at the same age in both groups. But the women in that study carried more by the time anyone caught it. Worse symptoms. Worse daily functioning. Higher rates of depression and anxiety than the men. The anxiety may not have been the diagnosis. It may have been the cost of white-knuckling an undiagnosed one for twenty years. ## Do You Need a Psychiatrist for ADHD Evaluation, or Someone Else? A **therapist** can recognize ADHD symptoms and help you cope with them, but in most cases can’t [diagnose or prescribe](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/11/20/can-a-therapist-prescribe-medication-what-you-need-to-know/). A **neuropsychologist** performs extensive cognitive testing. It’s thorough, often expensive, and can take many hours. It helps most when a learning disability or a head injury clouds the picture. A **primary care doctor** can sometimes diagnose and prescribe. Many aren’t comfortable with adult ADHD, though. Plenty will refer you out. A **[psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/02/psychiatric-nurse-practitioner-or-psychiatrist-which-is-better/)** can evaluate you, diagnose you, and treat you, all in the same practice. Seeing a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation means the person assessing you is also the person who can treat you. For most adult women, that’s the efficient path. You’re not shuttling records between three offices or repeating your history to strangers. ## What Happens When You See a Psychiatrist for ADHD Evaluation? When you see a psychiatrist or psych NP for ADHD evaluation, there’s no timed test and nothing to study for. A proper evaluation has three parts. **A clinical interview,** where your prescriber asks about your attention, focus, organization, and impulsivity, both now and in childhood. This isn’t small talk. ADHD is developmental, so we need evidence the symptoms were there before adulthood, even if nobody named them. **Collateral history.** We talk to someone who knew you growing up, or who knows you well now. A parent, a sibling, a partner. Old report cards count. So does a mother who remembers what your teachers said. **Records review.** Prior mental health treatment, prior diagnoses, prior medication trials. Maybe you tried anxiety or depression treatment for years and it never quite landed. That history is a data point. Then comes the differential. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and sleep problems can all look like ADHD, and can also coexist with it. A careful evaluation can decipher this. ## How Do You Prepare to See a Psychiatrist for ADHD Evaluation? Before you meet with a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation, a little prep makes the appointment far more useful. - Write down specific examples, not adjectives. “I missed my sister’s birthday because it never made it onto my calendar” tells us more than “I’m forgetful.” - Ask a parent what you were like in elementary school, and take notes. - Dig up old report cards if they exist. Teacher comments are gold. - List every psychiatric medication you’ve tried and what it did or didn’t do. - Be honest about alcohol, cannabis, and caffeine. ## What Happens After the Diagnosis? If you meet criteria, you and your prescriber decide on treatment together. Stimulant medication is the most evidence-based treatment for adult ADHD, and yes, our [psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribe it](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist). Non-stimulant options exist too, and they’re the better fit for some women, particularly with certain cardiac or anxiety histories. Medication isn’t the whole plan, though. Therapy helps with what a pill can’t touch. The systems you never built. Shame you piled up for decades. The belief that you’re lazy, running in the background since fourth grade. Because our prescribers and therapists work in the same practice, they talk to each other. You won’t be managing that coordination yourself. If you don’t meet criteria, that’s an answer too. It means we look harder at what’s actually going on. Either way, a psychiatrist for ADHD evaluation gets you off the loop of wondering. ## Is It Time to Stop Wondering? Consider an evaluation when: - Anxiety or depression treatment helped, but something still doesn’t add up - You’re worn out from compensating - Simple things feel hard, and you can’t work out why - Symptom lists keep describing you at 1 a.m. Our psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner at Therapy for Women Center evaluate and treat adult ADHD, and right now there’s no waitlist. We offer psychiatry in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York, in person at our Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood offices or virtually. [Contact Therapy for Women Center](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) today to schedule. **Categories:** ADHD **Tags:** ADHD, ADHD Medication, Philadelphia psychiatrist, Psych NP, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Psychiatrist, Pysch Meds --- ### [The Truth About Therapy for a Quarter-Life Crisis](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/08/how-to-work-through-a-quarter-life-crisis/) **Published:** January 8, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You did everything right. Graduated, found the job, maybe moved in with someone. And somehow you’re lying awake at 2 a.m. wondering why none of it feels like yours. This is known as a quarter life crisis, and therapy can help you make sense of what’s happening before you burn down a life you might actually want. ![woman in ballet class to cope with quarter-life crisis](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/front-view-professional-plus-size-dancer-training-1-scaled.jpg) ### What Is a Quarter Life Crisis? A quarter life crisis is a stretch of instability and doubt that usually lands somewhere between 20 and 35. It shows up when the life you built stops matching the person you’ve become. It also hits women harder. [In a study ](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258143861_The_prevalence_types_and_perceived_outcomes_of_crisis_episodes_in_early_adulthood_and_midlife_A_structured_retrospective-autobiographical_study)published in the *International Journal of Behavioral Development*, 49% of women reported a quarter-life crisis episode during their twenties, compared with 39% of men. By their thirties, that figure rose to 51%. So if you feel like the only one quietly falling apart while everyone else posts engagement photos, you’re not. You’re just the one being honest about it. ### Why Your Twenties Feel Harder Than Anyone Warned You Here’s the part nobody mentions: the hard thing isn’t making a wrong choice. It’s making a perfectly reasonable choice at 22 and then becoming a different person by 28. You picked a major before you knew yourself. You chose a city because of a job offer. Maybe you got serious with someone during a season when you needed steadiness more than you needed alignment. None of that was a failure. But the distance between who you were and who you are now can feel like grief, even though nothing bad has happened. Money pressure makes it louder. So does a feed full of people who look like they’ve got it handled. ### How Do You Work Through a Quarter Life Crisis? Start with the uncertainty itself. Most of the pain here isn’t the not-knowing. It’s the belief that you should have known by now. Nobody hands you a deadline for figuring out your life, so try to notice when you’re enforcing one you invented. Then look at your values, and be specific. Not the ones you assumed you’d hold at 22, the ones you hold this year. People change faster in their twenties than at almost any other point in adulthood, and a life built around old values will feel wrong long before you can explain why. Go easy on yourself while you sort it out. If you’re already telling yourself you should have it together, adding self-criticism to confusion just makes both worse. And then move, even a little. Waiting to feel certain before you act is exactly how people stay stuck for years. A few things that help: - Write down what a good week actually looks like, not a good year - Name three values you hold right now, then check whether your calendar reflects them - Take one small step toward a change, like updating a resume or booking a class - Cut the comparison inputs where you can, because you already know which accounts make it worse - Tell one person the truth about how you’re doing That last one matters most. Isolation is what turns a hard season into something that feels permanent. ### When Is It Time to Consider Therapy for Quarter Life Crisis? Sometimes the above isn’t enough, and that’s not a personal failing. A few signs it’s worth talking to someone: - You’re drinking or scrolling mostly to avoid your own thoughts - You’ve felt stuck or numb for more than a couple of months - The self-criticism runs constantly, like a radio you can’t turn off - Your sleep or appetite has shifted noticeably - You’re making impulsive changes, or you’re frozen and can’t make any at all If several of those land, that’s usually your answer. ### What Does Therapy Look Like? It’s not years of excavating your childhood, though your history matters. The work is focused on the gap between the life you’re living and the values you actually hold, which is why people often notice a shift faster than they expect. We use [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/)for a lot of this. ACT gives you a way to hold uncertainty without letting it drive every decision, and it turns the values work above into something structured instead of something you journal about once and abandon. When self-criticism has become its own problem, CBT helps you catch the story you’re telling yourself and check whether it holds up. [Gillian Cedrone, LAPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/gillian-cedrone/),[ Becca Alderberg, LPC,](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/) and [Hannah Smith, LCSW a](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/hannah-l-smith/)ll specialize in this stage of life. ## Frequently Asked Questions #### **How long does a quarter life crisis last?** Most last about one to two years, according to research on early adult crisis episodes. That sounds like a long time when you’re in it. The good news is that people who get support tend to come out the other side with clearer priorities than they had going in, not just relief from the discomfort. #### **Is a quarter life crisis the same as depression or anxiety?** Not quite, though they overlap and can happen together. A quarter life crisis is tied to a specific life stage and usually centers on questions about direction, identity, and whether your choices still fit. [Depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/depression-therapy/) is a clinical condition that affects sleep, energy, appetite, and your ability to feel pleasure regardless of circumstances. [Anxiety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/)is often intertwined with a quarter-life crisis. #### **Can therapy actually help with a quarter life crisis?** Yes, and it tends to work faster than people expect. Because the work is focused on values and direction rather than long-term symptom management, many clients notice a shift within a few months. Your therapist won’t tell you what to do with your life. They’ll help you get clear enough to decide for yourself. We would love to support you. Reach out to us today to book an appointment! **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, depression, quarter-life crisis, self care, young adult therapy, young adults --- ### [Relationship OCD (ROCD): The Truth No One Talks About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/10/06/relationship-ocd-rocd-the-truth-no-one-talks-about/) **Published:** October 6, 2026 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** ou love your partner. At least, you think you do. But lately you can’t stop checking: replaying dinner to see if you felt enough, comparing your relationship to every couple on your feed, asking “*do you think we’re right together?*” for the third time this week. If doubt about your relationship has become a full-time job, you may be dealing with relationship OCD. ## What Is Relationship OCD? Relationship OCD (often shortened to ROCD) is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder where the obsessions and compulsions center on your romantic relationship. The obsessions show up as intrusive doubts: “What if I don’t really love them?” “What if I’m settling?” “Am I only here because I’m afraid to be alone?” The compulsions are what you do to deal with these doubts. This looks like: testing your feelings, mentally reviewing interactions, comparing, researching, confessing, and asking for reassurance. Here’s the detail that surprises people most: ROCD tends to attack good relationships. OCD targets whatever you value, and the doubt feels urgent precisely because the relationship matters so much. The distress reflects how much you care, and that’s the opposite of what the doubt keeps telling you. ![Woman struggling with relationship OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-anntarazevich-5234199-683x1024.jpg) ## What Are the Two Types of ROCD? [Researchers who study relationship OCD](https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/relationship-ocd/) describe two overlapping forms. Relationship-centered ROCD focuses on the relationship itself and your feelings inside it. Do I love them enough? Is this the right relationship? Would I be happier with someone else? You monitor your own emotions like a suspect under interrogation. Partner-focused ROCD fixates on your partner’s perceived flaws: their appearance, intelligence, social skills, or morality. You know the fixation is out of proportion. You may even feel ashamed of it, but your mind keeps nagging and demanding you resolve what it means. Many people experience both, and the two feed each other. Either way, the underlying engine is the same OCD cycle of doubt, distress, and compulsive certainty-seeking. ## Relationship OCD vs Relationship Anxiety: What’s the Difference? [Relationship anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/08/why-relationship-anxiety-hijacks-your-brain-and-how-to-heal/) is worry about the relationship that usually tracks something identifiable: a new relationship stage, an attachment wound, a real conflict. It rises and falls with circumstances, and reassurance genuinely helps, at least for a while. ROCD carries the OCD signature instead. The doubts are intrusive and repetitive, they demand certainty rather than comfort. They also trigger rituals: checking your feelings, mental reviewing, comparing, reassurance-seeking. Relief lasts minutes, then the doubt returns louder, regardless of the evidence. And unlike relationship anxiety, ROCD often flares hardest when things are going well, because calm gives the doubt room to be heard. If you’re not sure which one fits, that’s exactly the kind of question a clinician trained in OCD can answer quickly. ## Why Doesn’t Reassurance Work? Every “of course I love you” from your partner, every “you two are perfect together” from a friend only buys you a moment of relief. Soon, another doubt returns with a new “but what if.” That’s not a flaw in the reassurance. It’s how compulsions work. Each time you resolve the doubt from the outside, your brain learns two lessons: this doubt was dangerous enough to need resolving, and you can’t tolerate it on your own. So the doubt comes back more demanding. Reassurance is a loan against tomorrow’s certainty, and the interest rate is brutal. Much of it happens invisibly too, as [mental compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/) like reviewing and feeling-checking that nobody else can see. ## But What If My Doubts Are Real? This is the question underneath everything, so let’s take it seriously instead of waving it away. Some relationships genuinely are wrong, and some are harmful. Telling every doubter “it’s just OCD” would be malpractice. Doubt about a harmful relationship grows from a pattern in how you’re treated. If you’re walking on eggshells, being belittled, or recognizing the [signs of emotional abuse](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/18/9-painful-signs-of-emotional-abuse-you-need-to-know/), your doubt is information, and it tends to get clearer when things calm down. Relationship OCD doubt behaves in reverse. It attacks when the relationship is peaceful, it fixates on your internal state rather than your partner’s behavior, and no amount of evidence ever settles it. One kind of doubt points at what’s happening to you. The other kind interrogates what you feel. A therapist who knows both OCD and relationship dynamics can help you tell them apart. You don’t have to make that call alone at 2 a.m. ## How Is Relationship OCD Treated? The gold standard is [Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/). Our clinical director, Gabrielle Salomone, is a leading expert in OCD treatment and trains all of our OCD specialists in it. For relationship OCD, ERP means deliberately sitting with uncertainty about the exact questions your brain treats as emergencies. “Maybe I’ll never feel 100% sure I love them,” Or “maybe there’s no way to prove this is the right relationship.” You practice not performing the rituals, no feeling-checks, no comparison scrolling, no reassurance requests, while the anxiety rises, peaks, and falls on its own. Over weeks, your brain learns that uncertainty about love is survivable. Every couple lives with some level of uncertainty. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) pairs beautifully with ERP here. Instead of debating your doubts, you learn to notice them, let them pass, and invest in the relationship based on your values rather than your need for certainty. Partners have a role too, and it has a clinical name: accommodation. Accommodation is everything a loving partner does to ease your OCD in the moment, answering the same reassurance question nightly, avoiding topics that trigger doubt, providing certainty on demand. It comes from love, and it feeds the disorder, because every accommodation confirms the doubt needed resolving. Part of treatment is helping your partner lovingly retire from the reassurance job, with a therapist guiding you both so it never feels like affection being withdrawn. And when anxiety or depression makes the work feel impossible, our [in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether medication support belongs in the picture, coordinating directly with your therapist. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Can relationship OCD make you lose feelings for your partner?** It can mute them, which terrifies people. Constant monitoring numbs the thing being monitored; nobody feels butterflies while running a feelings audit. The numbness is usually anxiety and exhaustion. As treatment quiets the checking, most people find their feelings were underneath the noise the whole time. **Should I break up if I have ROCD?** Not as a way to resolve the doubt. Breaking up to escape uncertainty is itself a compulsion. People with untreated relationship OCD often find the doubt follows them into the next relationship. Treat the OCD first. From a quieter mind, you can make relationship decisions that are actually yours. **Why is my ROCD worse when things are going well?** Because calm removes the distractions. When there’s no real conflict to explain your unease, OCD supplies a manufactured one, and “everything is good” raises the stakes of being wrong. Flare-ups during peaceful stretches are one of the most recognizable ROCD patterns, and they say nothing about your relationship’s health. **How can my partner help?** Mostly by learning what accommodation is and gently stepping out of it. That means responding to the fifth “do you really love me” with warmth for you and nothing for the OCD: “I love you, and I’m not going to answer the doubt.” It feels counterintuitive, which is why we often bring partners into a session or two, so the plan is shared instead of something happening to them. ## When Should You Reach Out? If relationship doubt is consuming hours of your day, straining the relationship it claims to be protecting, or making you dread the quiet moments that used to feel good, it’s time. Relationship OCD is one of [the 20 OCD subtypes](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/21/the-18-ocd-subtypes-and-how-to-recover/) our [ERP-trained therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia treat regularly, and it responds well to the right treatment. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** OCD, OCD subtypes, Relationship OCD, relationships, ROCD --- ### [10 Examples of Emotional Abuse You Need to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/18/9-painful-signs-of-emotional-abuse-you-need-to-know/) **Published:** February 18, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** They never hit you. So it can’t be abuse, right? That’s what many women tell themselves while walking on eggshells, second-guessing their own memories, or feeling like they’re slowly losing themselves. But abuse doesn’t need to leave bruises you can photograph. The emotional abuse examples below may help you name what’s been happening. If something feels wrong in your relationship but you can’t quite explain it, seeing the pattern written out can bring it into focus. The research backs up how serious this is. According to the [National Coalition Against Domestic Violence](https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/domestic_violence_and_psychological_abuse_ncadv.pdf), 7 out of 10 psychologically abused women display symptoms of PTSD or depression. In fact, psychological abuse is a stronger predictor of PTSD than physical abuse among women. ![woman crying with a tissue experiencing emotional abuse](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/adult-woman-stressing-out-home-819x1024.jpg) ## What Is Emotional Abuse? Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that controls, manipulates, or diminishes another person. You might also hear it called psychological abuse or mental abuse. One bad argument or a rough day doesn’t make a pattern. Emotional abuse is ongoing. Intentional. And it chips away at your sense of self over time. It also isn’t limited to romantic partners. [Parents can be emotionally abusive too](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/), and so can friends, bosses, and family members. Unlike physical violence, this type of abuse often hides behind love, protection, or concern. Your partner might frame controlling behavior as “just caring about you” or dismiss your concerns by saying you’re “too sensitive.” This confusion is part of what makes it so harmful. It’s also why emotional abuse examples teach you more than definitions ever will. ## Emotional Abuse Examples: Control Tactics The first group of emotional abuse examples is about power: over where you go, who you see, and what resources you have access to. ### 1. Isolation Isolation happens gradually. Your partner criticizes your friends, picks fights before family gatherings, or sulks when you make plans without them. Over time, you stop reaching out to people because it’s just easier. Then when things get bad, you realize they’re the only person you have left to turn to. ### 2. Financial Abuse Financial abuse is more common than people realize. Maybe you’re not “allowed” to work, or you have to ask permission before spending money. Perhaps you don’t have access to your own bank accounts. This creates dependence and makes leaving feel impossible. ### 3. Monitoring and Stalking Monitoring can look like constant check-ins, tracking your location, or showing up unexpectedly at places you mentioned going. Technology makes this easier than ever. They frame it as “I just wanted to make sure you’re safe,” but it’s really about surveillance. ### 4. Overprotection Overprotection sometimes looks like jealousy or possessiveness, and some people even romanticize it. But there’s a difference between a partner expressing insecurity and a partner interrogating you about every interaction with another person. If their “protection” feels more like control, trust that instinct. ### 5. Sleep Deprivation Some emotional abuse examples target your body’s most basic needs. A partner who repeatedly wakes you up to keep arguing, starts fights at bedtime, or won’t let a conflict end until 3 a.m. isn’t just inconsiderate. Exhaustion makes you foggy, irritable, and easier to confuse, which makes every other tactic on this list work better. If you’re chronically sleep deprived because conflict always seems to happen at night, that pattern deserves a name. ## Manipulation Tactics That Make You Question Reality These emotional abuse examples mess with your perception and make you doubt your own judgment. ### 6. Gaslighting [Gaslighting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/) is when your partner denies things they said or did, tells you that you’re remembering wrong, or insists you’re “crazy” for being upset. Over time, you start questioning your own reality. You might even apologize for things that weren’t your fault because you’ve lost trust in your own perception. ### 7. Guilt-Tripping Guilt-tripping is a request to abandon your boundaries. “If you really loved me, you’d stay.” “I guess I’ll just be alone then.” These statements push you to feel responsible for their emotions and give in to what they want. ### 8. The Silent Treatment The silent treatment can last hours or days. Your partner acts like you don’t exist until you apologize or give in. It’s a way of punishing you without ever having to acknowledge what they’re upset about. ### 9. Love Bombing Love bombing is [narcissistic behavior that actually feels like love](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/), which is exactly what makes it hard to spot. Early on, or right after a blowup, you’re flooded with affection, gifts, constant texts, and declarations that you’re their whole world. It feels intoxicating, which is the point. The intensity creates a debt you’re expected to repay with compliance. It also resets the clock after every incident of mistreatment. If the highs feel like a reward for forgetting the lows, that’s a pattern worth naming. ![woman sitting on the floor experiencing emotional abuse ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/young-woman-dealing-with-anxiety-1-683x1024.jpg) ## Degradation: Emotional Abuse Examples That Attack Your Worth The last group of emotional abuse examples exists to tear down your self-worth so you believe no one else would want you. ### 10. Name-Calling and Body Shaming Name-calling often hides behind “jokes.” But when someone consistently uses words that target your intelligence, identity, or character, or your physical appearance, that’s not humor. They are attempting to make you feel like you should be grateful they’re with you at all. ## Signs You Might Need Support with Emotional Abuse You don’t need to recognize all 12 of these emotional abuse examples to seek help. Even one ongoing pattern is enough. You might benefit from talking to someone if: - You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells - You’ve become isolated from friends or family - You frequently doubt your own memory or perception - You feel responsible for your partner’s emotions and reactions - You’ve lost touch with who you were before this relationship Recognizing these patterns is the first step, but it’s not easy. Many women minimize what they’ve been through because they love their partner or because their partner convinced them it’s somehow their fault. You may struggle to name mental abuse when there are no visible wounds. But neither of those things means you deserve to be treated this way. If you’re in immediate danger or need to talk to someone right now, the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org) is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we have [therapists who specialize in trauma and abuse](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy/) and understand the complex emotions that come with these experiences. You don’t have to have all the answers or be ready to leave. Sometimes you just need someone who will listen without judgment and help you sort through what you’re feeling. ## Frequently Asked Questions about Emotional Abuse #### Is emotional abuse considered domestic violence? Yes. The CDC and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence both include psychological aggression in their definitions of intimate partner violence. You don’t need physical violence for your experience to count, legally or clinically. #### What counts as emotional abuse? A behavior counts as emotional abuse when it’s part of an ongoing pattern meant to control, manipulate, or diminish you. Single incidents of unkindness happen in most relationships. A repeated pattern that leaves you smaller, more isolated, or doubting your own perception is abuse. #### Is emotional abuse as harmful as physical abuse? Research suggests it can be more harmful psychologically. According to the NCADV, psychological abuse is a stronger predictor of PTSD in women than physical abuse, and 7 out of 10 psychologically abused women show symptoms of PTSD or depression. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** domestic violence, emotional abuse, emotional trauma, PTSD, trauma --- ### [The Truth About Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy for Perfectionism](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/27/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-for-perfectionism/) **Published:** March 27, 2026 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** You know that voice. The one that replays every mistake you made at work. It tells you everyone noticed when you stumbled over your words. It insists you should be further along by now. If that voice runs your life, rational emotive behavior therapy might be the approach that finally quiets it. ![Black woman considering rational emotive behavioral therapy for perfectionism. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/beautiful-woman-portrait-medium-shot-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy? Rational emotive behavior therapy (often called REBT) is a form of talk therapy developed by psychologist Albert Ellis in 1955. It was the first cognitive behavioral approach, predating what we now call CBT by about a decade. Ellis created it after growing frustrated with traditional psychoanalysis. He found it too slow and too focused on the past. The core idea is straightforward. It’s not the events in your life that cause your emotional pain. Instead, it’s what you believe *about* those events. Many of those beliefs, while they feel completely true, are actually irrational. Consider perfectionism as an example. You give a presentation at work and forget one minor point. The event itself is neutral. But if you believe “I must perform perfectly or I’m a failure,” you’ll spiral for hours. REBT helps you identify these rigid beliefs. Then it helps you replace them with more flexible ones. ## How Is REBT Different From CBT? This is a question we get often, and it matters. While rational emotive behavior therapy is technically part of the CBT family (it’s the original, after all), there are real differences in focus. [CBT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/) tends to target specific automatic thoughts. For instance, if you’re anxious about a job interview, CBT might help you examine the thought “I’m going to bomb this.” You’d look at evidence for and against it. It’s practical and situation-specific. REBT goes a bit deeper. Instead of just addressing the surface thought, it targets the underlying demand. In REBT terms, the problem isn’t just “I’m going to bomb this.” Rather, it’s the deeper belief: “I absolutely must succeed, and if I don’t, it proves I’m worthless.” It emphasizes unconditional self-acceptance. You learn to separate your worth as a person from your performance. This makes it particularly effective for women dealing with chronic self-criticism and perfectionism. ## What Happens in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy? REBT uses a framework called the ABC model. It sounds clinical, but it’s actually intuitive once you see it in action. A is the activating event. Something happens. For example, your partner criticizes how you loaded the dishwasher. B is your belief about that event. This is where the trouble starts. Maybe you believe “He thinks I’m incompetent. I should be able to do simple things right. What’s wrong with me?” C is the consequence. This means how you feel and behave. You snap at him, then feel guilty, then replay the conversation for the rest of the night. In rational emotive behavior therapy, your therapist helps you see that A didn’t cause C. B did. And B is something you can change. The next step is D, which stands for *disputing* those irrational beliefs. Your therapist might ask: Is it really true that one criticism means you’re incompetent? Where’s the evidence that you “should” do everything perfectly? What would you tell a friend who thought this way? (Here it’s important to note that this process isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about catching the mental distortions that make ordinary disappointments feel catastrophic). ![woman looking at journal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/woman-thinking-while-looking-notebook-scaled.jpg) ## Who Benefits Most From Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy? Rational emotive behavior therapy works well for many issues but is especially helpful if you struggle with perfectionism, harsh self-judgment, or anxiety driven by rigid expectations. Research supports this. [50 years of REBT studies](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5836900/) found it produces meaningful improvements in both symptoms and irrational beliefs. At our practice, we’ve seen REBT help individuals who’ve spent years beating themselves up over perceived failures. If you hold yourself to impossible standards and feel crushed when you fall short, this approach might resonate with you. It can really help you be more conscious of negative self-talk, how it affects you, and how you can change it. ## What Techniques Will Your Therapist Use? Beyond the ABC model, REBT therapists use several techniques to help you shift your thinking. First, there’s disputation. This is the core method. It can be logical (does this belief make sense?), empirical (what’s the evidence?), or functional (is this belief helping me?). Second, rational coping statements give you something to practice between sessions. Instead of “I must be perfect,” you might rehearse “I prefer to do well, but my worth doesn’t depend on it.” You’d be surprised at just how powerful simply rephrasing a statement like this can be. Third, behavioral experiments test your beliefs in real life. If you believe people will reject you for making mistakes, your therapist might encourage you to intentionally make a small error. Then you see what actually happens. Finally, shame-attacking exercises help reduce the fear of embarrassment. You deliberately do something mildly embarrassing and survive it. Yes, really. ## Is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Right for You? If you’ve tried other approaches and still find yourself trapped in self-criticism, rational emotive behavior therapy offers a different angle. It’s not about just challenging individual thoughts. Instead, it’s about changing the deep-seated demands you place on yourself. You might benefit from REBT if you find yourself constantly use words like “should,” “must,” or “have to” about yourself or your situation. Or if small mistakes feel like evidence of fundamental failure. Perhaps you know logically that you’re being too hard on yourself, but you can’t seem to stop. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia includes therapists trained in REBT and other evidence-based approaches. We understand how exhausting it is to live with that critical voice. It can be an especially helpful framework if you struggle with [anxiety. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/) Get in touch to schedule a session and find out if rational emotive behavior therapy is right for you. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** rational emotive behavioral therapy, REBT, self criticism, Therapy Modalities --- ### [Triangulation in Relationships: Important Things to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/24/triangulation-in-relationships/) **Published:** February 24, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You’re venting to your mom about your partner again. Or maybe you’re the one caught between two family members who won’t speak directly to each other. Perhaps you notice that every argument with your spouse somehow involves bringing up what your sister said. If any of this sounds familiar, you’re likely experiencing triangulation in relationships. ![woman sitting with her grandmother. Woman experiencing triangulation in relationships ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/smiling-grandmother-her-granddaughter-holding-tablet-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Triangulation in Relationships? > Triangulation happens when two people pull in a third person instead of dealing with their conflict directly. Rather than talking to each other, they talk about each other, through someone else. Psychiatrist Murray Bowen first identified this pattern in the 1950s while studying family dynamics. He noticed that two-person relationships are unstable under stress. When tension rises, people instinctively recruit a third party to relieve that pressure. A triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. Why? Because tension can shift around three relationships instead of staying stuck between two people. The problem? Triangulation in relationships only reduces anxiety for the two original people. It dumps that stress onto the third person. And nothing actually gets resolved. ## How Does Triangulation Show Up in Families? If you grew up being your parent’s confidant about their marriage, you’ve experienced triangulation firsthand. Maybe your mom told you things about your dad that a child shouldn’t carry. Or perhaps you were the peacekeeper, constantly smoothing over conflicts between siblings or between a parent and another child. Triangulation in relationships tends to follow you out the door. These patterns don’t disappear when you leave home. [Research](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8336947/) tells us that children whose parents pulled them into conflicts often carry those dynamics into adulthood. You might find yourself stepping into the mediator role at work, with friends, or with your own partner. How do you know if someone is triangulating you? You might feel caught in the middle of other people’s conflicts. You hear complaints about someone rather than seeing those two people talk directly. Or you notice that you’re always the messenger between family members. ## What Is the Drama Triangle? The Karpman Drama Triangle is a related concept. It describes the roles people play in dysfunctional conflict. Psychiatrist Stephen Karpman developed this model in 1968. He wanted to explain why some relationships feel stuck in an endless loop of drama. There are three roles in this triangle. First, the Victim feels powerless and helpless, believing things happen to them rather than taking action. Next, the Rescuer jumps in to fix and save others, often neglecting their own needs in the process. Finally, the Persecutor blames and criticizes, directing anger outward. ![Karpman drama triangle descripes triangulation in relationships ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Screenshot-2026-01-05-at-7.03.24-PM-1024x648.png) Here’s the tricky part. People don’t stay in one role. Instead, they rotate through all three positions. You might start as the Rescuer, trying to help your partner with their problems. Then you become the Victim when your efforts go unappreciated. Finally, you shift into Persecutor mode, criticizing your partner for being ungrateful. A 2022 study in the *Journal of Interpersonal Violence* looked at people who often take on the Victim role. They report higher levels of anxiety, depression, and insecure attachment. The pattern itself creates emotional distress. It doesn’t matter which role you’re playing. ## What Is Narcissistic Triangulation in Relationships? Narcissistic triangulation is the deliberate version of this pattern. A person with narcissistic traits pulls a third party into the relationship on purpose, to create jealousy, competition, or self-doubt. Where ordinary triangulation in relationships is usually an unconscious way of managing anxiety, narcissistic triangulation is a control tactic. It might look like a partner who constantly compares you to their ex. “She never complained about this.” Or a parent who plays favorites, praising one sibling to punish another. Or someone who claims invisible allies in every argument: “Everyone thinks you’re overreacting, not just me.” The goal is to keep you off balance and competing for approval that never quite arrives. Over time, you may find yourself working harder to be chosen while trusting your own perception less and less. If this dynamic sounds familiar, the manipulation may go beyond triangulation. Our post on [narcissistic behavior](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/) covers the wider pattern, and our therapists specialize in helping women recover from these relationships. ## Why Do People Get Stuck in These Patterns? Most of us learned these patterns in our families of origin. If your parents handled conflict by venting to you instead of each other, that became your model for relationships. If you earned love by being the helpful one, rescuing became part of your identity. Triangulation in relationships also serves a function. It relieves tension in the short term. Complaining to your best friend about your partner feels better than having a difficult conversation directly. Stepping in to mediate your parents’ argument gives you a sense of control. However, these short-term fixes prevent real resolution and keep everyone stuck. ## How Can Therapy Help With Triangulation in Relationships? Family systems therapy, based on Bowen’s work, helps you understand the triangles operating in your relationships. You learn to spot when someone is pulling you into their conflict. Then you can step back without cutting off the relationship. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is particularly effective for couples caught in triangulation in relationships. EFT helps partners turn toward each other with their emotions instead of seeking relief from outside sources. You learn to have the hard conversations directly, which builds trust and intimacy over time. For individuals healing from family-of-origin triangulation, [therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-therapy/) offers space to process how these patterns affected you. You can grieve the childhood you deserved while building new skills for your current relationships. ## When Should You Seek Support? Reach out if you often feel caught between people you love. Or if family conflicts keep pulling you back into old roles. Maybe you notice yourself repeating the same patterns despite your best efforts. Triangulation in relationships can feel impossible to escape alone. But therapy offers a path forward. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, our therapists specialize in family systems approaches and EFT. We offer [couples therapy](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-couples-therapy "couples therapy"), individual and family therapy to help you understand how family patterns shape your adult relationships. Contact Therapy for Women to get started. We have office locations in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd and in Collingswood, NJ. It’s time to untangle the triangles keeping you stuck. **Categories:** Relationships, Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, couples therapy, depression, family therapy, triangulation --- ### [The Truth About Gray Area Drinking No One Talks About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/29/what-is-gray-area-drinking/) **Published:** March 29, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** If you’ve ever Googled “how to cut back on drinking,” you’ve seen the same advice recycled a hundred different ways. Drink water between drinks. Set a limit. Try mocktails. If you’ve tried all of it and it never quite sticks, there’s a name for the place you’re living: gray area drinking. Maybe the rules even worked for a while. But then a stressful week happened, or you went to a wedding, or it was just a random Tuesday and you thought, one more won’t hurt. And the next morning you were right back where you started. Before I got sober at 24, I was the queen of drinking rules. I tried only drinking wine. I tried only drinking beer (which I hated). And I tried measuring my drinks, only drinking on weekends, never drinking on an empty stomach. Some of these rules worked temporarily. None of them stopped me from eventually ending up in situations I regretted. I felt like a mad scientist trying to crack the code: enough alcohol to quiet my social anxiety, but not so much that I’d lose control. I know from my work as a therapist that I’m far from the only person who’s been on that particular hamster wheel. ![Asian woman learning about gray area drinking ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/medium-shot-teenage-girl-hangover-ritual-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Gray Area Drinking? Gray area drinking is the space between rock bottom and take-it-or-leave-it drinking. The term took off after Jolene Park’s 2015 TEDx talk, and it describes the kind of drinking where nothing catastrophic has happened. No DUI, no lost job, no intervention. You just drink more than you want to, more often than you want to, and you think about it more than you’d like. (You’ll also see it spelled grey area drinking, especially in British writing. Same thing.) If that’s you, you’re the majority, not the exception. A [CDC study ](https://archive.cdc.gov/www_cdc_gov/media/releases/2014/p1120-excessive-drinking.html)of more than 138,000 adults found that 90 percent of excessive drinkers are not alcohol dependent. Nine out of ten. Which means the black-and-white framing our culture loves, alcoholic or totally fine, fails almost everyone in between. You can hate your relationship with alcohol without meeting criteria for anything. ## Why Is Gray Area Drinking So Hard to Change? If cutting back were easy, nobody would need to search for strategies. The fact that you’re looking means you’ve already noticed willpower alone isn’t doing the job. Biology is doing the heavy lifting here, and no amount of self-discipline changes brain chemistry. When you drink, alcohol boosts GABA (the neurotransmitter that calms your nervous system) and suppresses glutamate (the one that keeps you alert). That first drink feels like relief because your brain’s alarm system gets temporarily turned down. But your brain fights back. It produces cortisol and adrenaline to counteract the sedative effects. Over time, it adjusts its chemistry to compensate, which means without alcohol, you actually feel more anxious than you did before you started drinking regularly. Research confirms that chronic alcohol use fundamentally alters the brain’s stress response systems, creating a cycle where drinking temporarily relieves the very anxiety it’s causing. This is often known as [hangxiety. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/06/02/what-is-hangxiety-important-things-to-know/) This is why “just have one” feels nearly impossible. That first drink activates a neurochemical chain reaction, and your brain immediately starts lobbying for another. You’re not weak for wanting the second drink. Your brain is designed to chase that relief. This cycle is the engine of gray area drinking. ## The Moderation Trap Here’s something I wish someone had told me years ago: moderation is exhausting because it requires you to use the part of your brain that alcohol impairs. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. That’s the whole point. But sticking to a limit requires inhibition. You’re asking yourself to make careful, rational decisions while consuming a substance that makes careful decisions harder. It’s like trying to drive with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. This doesn’t mean moderation is impossible for everyone. For some people, it works fine. But if you’ve been trying to moderate for months or years and it keeps falling apart, that’s worth paying attention to. Discipline was never the real issue. You’ve been fighting the basic pharmacology of the substance. In my practice, I see the same pattern with gray area drinking constantly: someone creates rules around drinking, follows them for a while, breaks them, feels terrible, creates stricter rules, and repeats the cycle. Each round chips away at their confidence. They start to think something is fundamentally wrong with them when really, they’re playing a game that’s incredibly hard to win. ## What Actually Helps If you’ve been stuck in the rule-making cycle of gray area drinking, here’s what I recommend to my clients instead. **Do the costs and payoffs exercise.** Instead of thinking about drinking as good or bad, think about what it costs you and what you get from it. Drinking might give you stress relief and social ease. It might cost you sleep, morning anxiety, money, and alignment with your values. Write both lists honestly. Don’t judge them. Just look at the equation and ask yourself if it adds up the way you want. **Pay attention to why you’re drinking, not just how much.** Most cutting-back strategies focus on quantity. But the more important question is what you’re using alcohol for. Are you drinking because you enjoy it, or because you can’t relax without it? **Try a 30-day experiment.** Rather than trying to moderate forever, take alcohol off the table for 30 days. Not permanently. Just as an experiment. This lets you see what your life actually looks like without it and breaks the cycle of negotiating with yourself every time you’re near a drink. **Notice what surfaces.** When you stop numbing with alcohol, whatever you were numbing tends to come up. Boredom. Loneliness. Social anxiety. Grief. That discomfort is information. Something underneath your drinking deserves attention, and alcohol has been keeping it quiet. ## The Question Nobody Asks Most advice for gray area drinkers assumes moderation is the goal. For some people it is, and it works. But in my experience, people searching for answers at 11pm on a Sunday night are often circling a deeper question underneath the practical one. The surface question is: how do I drink less? The deeper question is: would my life be better without alcohol? Gray area drinking can go on for years precisely because that second question never quite gets asked. I’m not going to answer it for you. But I’ll say this: if you’ve been trying to cut back for a while and it hasn’t stuck, that doesn’t necessarily mean you need better strategies. It might mean moderation isn’t the right fit, and there is nothing wrong with that. I write about this in much more depth in my book, Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating a Life You Love. ## When to Reach Out You don’t need to hit rock bottom or earn a diagnosis to get support. That’s the whole point of naming gray area drinking: the middle counts. If you’ve tried to cut back multiple times and it hasn’t stuck, if you feel anxious when you can’t drink, or if you’ve noticed drinking is affecting your sleep, relationships, or work, talking to a therapist can help. At Therapy for Women, we have therapists trained in my approach who specialize in helping women change their relationship with alcohol. You don’t have to figure this out alone. When you’re ready, therapy for women in Philadelphia and South Jersey is what we do, and we’d love to help. Contact us today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** alcohol use disorder, not drinking tonight, Sober Curious, sobriety, substance use disorders --- ### [15 Signs You Might Be Sober Curious](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/10/30/exploring-sobriety/) **Published:** October 30, 2020 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![Amanda E White Therapist and Author of Not Drinking Tonight](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/SBH_Amanda_Headshots_1403-scaled.jpg)If you have ever wondered if sobriety is for you, let’s dive into this topic. And yes, you can be sober and STILL have this much fun! Drinking is up all over the world right now, and it concerns me. Not because I’m sober and want to convert people, but because as a culture we don’t talk about the ways alcohol negatively impacts our mental health. Instead we often say, some people are alcoholics and have problems and others don’t. It’s so black and white and protects us from having to honestly assess our behaviors. ⠀ You do not have to be an “alcoholic” to stop drinking. ⠀ You don’t even have to have meet any criteria on this list other than YOU WANT TO. Or want to improve your health. If you’ve thought about your relationship with drinking, been longing to feel better, reduce stress and deepen your relationship with yourself and others… you may be sober curious! Based on my experience, here are 15 reasons you may want to question (that means simply explore—no pressure or judgement here.) ## Have you ever wondered: *What could I gain if I stopped drinking or explored sobriety?* 1\. You WANT to 2\. You’re sick of being hungover 3\. You’ve started drinking alone 4\. It’s negatively impacting your relationships 5\. You’re known as the “fun one” in your friend group (when you drink) 6\. Drinking no longer feels worth it 7\. It’s negatively impacting your performance at work 8\. You often tell yourself “I’m never drinking again” 9\. You want to live a life you don’t need to escape 10\. You wake up with anxiety and shame the day after a night out drinking 11\. You’ve started adjusting your goals and values to fit your drinking habits 12\. You have to drink more than you’d like to in order to get the same affect 13\. You use it to cope with your emotions or anxiety 14\. People have told you they’re concerned 15\. Your entire social life revolves around drinking There’s no right or wrong with this list, I’m not saying YOU HAVE to do anything if you meet criteria on this list, it’s just a space to get curious. ⠀ When I first started exploring sobriety, I was (and still am!) so grateful for the many leaders of the sober curious movement and their openness about their experiences—which is a big part of why I chose to be open about my sober lifestyle, how I got here, and what it looks like. ⠀ Those that are sober, how has your life improved since you stopped drinking? ⠀ Those that are sober curious, what questions do you have about not drinking?! To check out my book about sobriety, [click here](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Drinking-Tonight-Guide-Creating/dp/0306925850/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1707321767&sr=8-1)! All My Love, Amanda **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** not drinking tonight --- ### [What Is Enmeshment? The Truth About Losing Yourself](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/04/07/what-is-enmeshment-the-truth-about-losing-yourself/) **Published:** April 7, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You grew up thinking this was just what closeness looked like. Your mom needed to know everything. Your dad’s mood set the emotional temperature for the whole house. You learned early that keeping the peace meant putting yourself last. Now you’re in an adult relationship, and something feels off, but you can’t quite name it. If you’ve ever searched “what is enmeshment,” chances are you already sense the answer in your own life. ![a couple holding each other in their bedroom wondering "what is enmeshment"](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/side-view-woman-hugging-man-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Enmeshment, Really? Enmeshment describes a relationship where emotional boundaries blur so completely that you lose your sense of self. Family therapist Salvador Minuchin coined the term in the 1970s when he noticed certain families fused so tightly that no one could tell where one person ended and another began. In practical terms, it looks like this: you can’t make a decision without checking with someone else first. You feel responsible for another person’s emotions. You struggle to identify what you want because you’ve spent so long focused on what someone else needs. And when you try to set even [a small boundary](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2019/10/12/compassionate-boundaries/), the guilt hits immediately. This isn’t the same as being close. Healthy closeness means choosing to share your life with someone while still knowing who you are on your own. An enmeshed relationship dynamic means you’re not sure who you are without them. ## How Does Enmeshment Start With Your Parents? Maybe your mother treated you more like a best friend or therapist than a daughter. Maybe your father’s anger controlled the household, and you became an expert at reading his moods to keep everyone safe. [Research on family systems](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41406-013) shows that children who grow up in enmeshed homes are more likely to struggle with [anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/), low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy adult relationships. If you grew up in an enmeshed family way, you probably learned that love and over-involvement meant the same thing. Saying no felt dangerous. Having your own opinions felt selfish. Your worth came from how well you could anticipate and manage someone else’s emotions. You didn’t choose this. Enmeshment isn’t something you signed up for. You adapted to survive your childhood. But those patterns don’t just disappear when you leave home. ## When Enmeshment Follows You Into Relationships Here’s where it gets complicated. The behaviors that protected you as a kid often become the source of pain in adult relationships. You might find yourself drawn to partners who need you to manage their feelings. Or you lose yourself completely, abandoning hobbies and friendships because your partner’s needs always feel more urgent. If your partner is upset, you can’t rest until they feel better. Not because you’re being thoughtful, but because their distress feels like your distress. Conflict probably feels unbearable. Not “this is uncomfortable” unbearable, but “this threatens my entire sense of safety” unbearable. That reaction often traces right back to a family where everyone treated disagreement as betrayal. Some women swing the other direction entirely. After growing up enmeshed, they keep partners at a distance because closeness feels suffocating. Both responses make sense when you understand where they come from. ## What Are the Signs of an Enmeshed Relationship? A few patterns worth paying attention to: - You can’t identify your own feelings without first checking how your partner feels - You feel guilty doing anything alone or having interests your partner doesn’t share - Your partner’s mood determines your mood, almost automatically - You avoid conflict at all costs, even when something really bothers you - You struggle to make simple decisions without input from your partner or parent If several of these sound familiar, you’re no longer wondering what enmeshment is in the abstract. You’re living it. And there’s a pattern worth understanding. ## How Therapy Helps You Break Free Understanding enmeshment intellectually is one thing. Actually changing the patterns is another. That’s where therapy makes a real difference. At Therapy for Women Center, our therapists use approaches specifically suited to enmeshed dynamics. [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/) (ACT) helps you notice when enmeshed patterns show up, get some distance from the guilt and fear driving them, and start making choices based on your values rather than someone else’s emotional state. Our therapists also use [Dialectical Behavior Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/dbt-skills/) (DBT), which builds concrete skills in four areas: emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. That last one is often where enmeshed clients notice the biggest shifts. You learn how to ask for what you need, say no without the crushing guilt, and tolerate the discomfort that comes when someone is upset with you. For women processing how a difficult childhood still affects their current relationships, therapy also creates space to grieve. You might be mourning the childhood you didn’t have, or the parent relationship you wish existed. That grief is real, and it deserves room. We have therapists experienced in complex family dynamics, unhealthy relationships and even [narcissistic abuse.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/11/13/the-hidden-impact-of-a-narcissistic-family-how-to-break-free/) We also offer [couples therapy, ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-couples-therapy/)if you and your partner are struggling with enmeshment and wan to work through it together. You learned these patterns to survive. Now you can learn something different. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** acceptance and commitment therapy, couples therapy, DBT, DBT skills, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, dysfunctional families, enmeshment, relationships, trauma --- ### [The Ultimate Guide to Therapy for Highly Sensitive People](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/therapy-for-highly-sensitive-people/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You cry at commercials. A crowded party wipes you out for a full day afterward. You can feel a friend’s mood shift before she says a single word. If any of that sounds familiar, therapy for highly sensitive people can help you stop fighting your sensitivity and start working with it. Maybe you’ve spent years hearing that you’re “too much” or “too emotional.” We want you to know something different: your sensitivity is real, it’s measurable, and with the right support, it can become one of the best things about you. ![close up portrait of woman with blue eyes for article on highly sensitive people and therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721506466698.jpg) ## What Is a Highly Sensitive Person? A highly sensitive person (HSP) is someone whose nervous system processes everything more deeply: sounds, emotions, caffeine, conflict, and other people’s feelings. Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron identified the trait, called sensory processing sensitivity, in the 1990s. Her research found that roughly [15 to 20 percent of people are highly sensitive.](https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.73.2.345) Just as important, high sensitivity is a normal variation in temperament, like being tall or left-handed. Researchers are clear that it’s a trait rather than a disorder. But living in a world built for less sensitive nervous systems can be exhausting. That’s where therapy for highly sensitive people comes in. ## Why Does Therapy for Highly Sensitive People Work Differently? Because the goal is never to make you less sensitive. A therapist who understands the trait won’t treat your big feelings as symptoms to eliminate. Instead, they’ll help you understand how your nervous system works and build a life that actually fits it. Plenty of HSPs have been hurt by well-meaning advice to “toughen up.” Some have even left therapy feeling pathologized. When your therapist knows the research behind sensory processing sensitivity, sessions feel different. You spend less time defending how you experience the world and more time feeling better. There’s another layer too. Sensitivity often travels with anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing. In therapy for highly sensitive people, your therapist can tell the difference between the trait itself (which doesn’t need fixing) and the patterns that grew around it (which often do). If you’ve ever been called an empath, you probably belong in this group too. The two labels overlap quite a bit, since absorbing other people’s emotions is one of the clearest signs of a highly sensitive nervous system. ‘Empath’ is the word culture uses; ‘HSP’ is the one research uses. ## What Can Therapy for Sensitive People Actually Help With? Therapy for sensitive people tends to focus on the places where deep processing collides with daily life. For our clients, that usually looks like: - Recovering from overstimulation instead of pushing through until you snap - Setting boundaries without drowning in guilt afterward - Managing intense emotions so they inform you rather than flatten you - Untangling your own feelings from everyone else’s - Rebuilding self-esteem after years of being called dramatic or difficult Beyond that, you might work on practical things. Together, we can look at how to structure your week so back-to-back plans don’t wreck you, or script hard conversations ahead of time so your empathy doesn’t talk you out of your own needs. Here’s a scene we hear about a lot: it’s 11 p.m., you’re exhausted, and you’re still replaying a two-second facial expression from a meeting. Was she annoyed? Did you say too much? Deep processing does this. Therapy helps you notice the loop, name it, and put it down so you can finally sleep. ## What Approaches Do We Use? At Therapy for Women Center, we tailor therapy for highly sensitive people to your nervous system rather than forcing you into a one-size-fits-all protocol. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you catch the thought spirals that turn a hard moment into a hard week. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) teaches you to make room for big feelings without letting them run your calendar. DBT skills offer concrete tools for emotional regulation. And EMDR can help if painful memories (being mocked for crying as a kid, for example) still sting years later. One more thing. Sometimes overwhelm tips into anxiety or depression. If that happens, our [in-house psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can weigh in on whether medication makes sense, and because they’re part of our practice, they work directly with your therapist. You’ll never have to coordinate your own care between strangers. ## When Should You Reach Out? If you keep wondering whether your sensitivity is “bad enough” for therapy, that’s usually your answer. You don’t need a crisis to deserve support. Reach out if you’re constantly drained, if guilt drives most of your decisions, or if you’ve started avoiding people and places you love just to protect your energy. Therapy for highly sensitive people works best when you show up as you are, not as the tougher version you think you should be. Bring the tears. Bring the overthinking. We’ve seen it all, and none of it scares us. Our therapist [Gillian Cedrone, LAPC ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/gillian-cedrone/)specializes in working with highly sensitive people, so you won’t spend your first three sessions explaining what an HSP is. She’ll meet you where you are and help you build a life where your sensitivity finally works for you. Ready to take the next step? Contact Therapy for Women in Philadelphia to schedule a session, in person at our Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, or Collingswood offices, or online in 43 states. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** highly sensitive person, HSP --- ### [What Causes a Fear Of Childbirth? 7 Signs of Tokophobia + How To Cope](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/06/16/the-truth-about-tokophobia-therapy-and-the-fear-of-childbirth/) **Published:** June 16, 2026 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** The thought of being pregnant terrifies you. Not in a “babies are scary” way, but in a way that tightens your chest and floods your mind with worst-case scenarios. Maybe you’ve quietly avoided the conversation with your partner. Or maybe you’re already pregnant and feel waves of dread you can’t explain to anyone. Tokophobia therapy can help you understand this fear of childbirth and finally start working through it. ![Woman holding her pregnant belly getting tokophobia therapy for fear of childbirth ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/pregnant-woman-caressing-baby-bump-scaled.jpg) ### What Is Tokophobia? Tokophobia is an intense, persistent fear of [pregnancy and childbirth](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/). It’s more than ordinary nervousness about labor. For some women, the fear runs so deep that they avoid getting pregnant altogether, even when they want children. For others, the fear takes hold during pregnancy and colors every appointment, every conversation, every quiet moment. For some women, the fear also doesn’t end at delivery; it eases but shifts into [postpartum anxiety, ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/12/postpartum-anxiety-cause-risk-factors-how-to-deal/)which is just as treatable. There are two main types. Primary tokophobia happens before a woman has ever been pregnant. Secondary tokophobia develops after a difficult or traumatic birth experience. Both are real, and both respond well to treatment. According to [recent studies](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11572351/), around 14% of pregnant women experience tokophobia. ### What Are the Signs You Might Be Struggling? The fear looks different for everyone. Some women feel it as panic. Others describe it as a low, constant hum of dread they can’t shake. You might recognize yourself in some of these: - You’re avoiding pregnancy even though part of you wants children - You can’t watch birth scenes in movies without feeling physically sick - Researching childbirth complications has become an obsession - Prenatal appointments fill you with dread, even though you’re already pregnant - You feel overwhelming anxiety about losing control of your body - Nightmares about labor or pregnancy wake you up - The idea of an elective cesarean appeals to you mainly as an escape from vaginal birth If any of this sounds familiar, please know it isn’t a character flaw. It’s a treatable response your nervous system is having to something it perceives as deeply threatening. ### What Causes the Fear of Pregnancy and Childbirth? Fear of childbirth rarely has one single cause. Usually, several factors stack on top of each other. For some women, the fear traces back to a previous birth that didn’t go as planned. Maybe you experienced a long labor, an emergency intervention, or felt unheard by your medical team. That kind of experience can leave a lasting mark on your nervous system, and it often drives secondary tokophobia. For others, the fear has roots in earlier trauma. Sexual abuse, medical trauma, or growing up around stories of difficult births can all contribute. Sometimes the fear ties back to existing anxiety, OCD, or a history of panic attacks. And sometimes it shows up without any clear reason at all, which can feel even more isolating. Whatever the source, the body responds the same way: it treats pregnancy and birth as a threat to be avoided. Therapy helps your nervous system learn a different response. ### How Does Tokophobia Therapy Actually Work? At our practice, our clinicians use evidence-based approaches tailored to what you’re experiencing. Tokophobia therapy directly targets the fear of childbirth at its source, rather than asking you to talk yourself out of it or “think positive.” It’s about giving your mind and body new ways to respond. [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/) helps you spot the thought patterns fueling the fear and work with them differently. Instead of getting stuck in worst-case thinking, you learn to slow down, examine what your mind is telling you, and respond with more flexibility. It may also include [Exposure Response Prevention (ERP)](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy) which includes gentle, gradual exposure to feared situations so they lose some of their grip over time. For women whose fear is rooted in birth trauma or earlier trauma, [EMDR ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy)(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be especially effective. EMDR helps the brain reprocess distressing memories so they stop hijacking your body. Many women who’ve felt stuck for years find real relief within several sessions. Some women also benefit from medication support, particularly when anxiety is severe or interfering with sleep, eating, or daily functioning. Our in-house [psychiatrist](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist "psychiatrist ") and psychiatric nurse practitioner can evaluate whether medication makes sense for you, and they coordinate closely with your therapist. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia includes clinicians trained in perinatal mental health, so you won’t have to explain why this fear feels so big. We already get it. ## Frequently Asked Questions about Tokophobia **How common is tokophobia?** Far more common than the silence around it suggests. Research estimates that severe fear of childbirth affects somewhere between 6% and 14% of pregnant women, and many more experience significant fear that never gets named. If this is you, you’re not broken or dramatic. You’re dealing with a recognized, treatable condition. **Can I still have a baby if I have tokophobia?** Yes. Many women with tokophobia go on to give birth, and treating the fear first often changes the entire experience of pregnancy and delivery. Others work through the fear and choose different paths to parenthood, or choose not to parent at all. Therapy isn’t about pushing you toward one outcome. It’s about making sure fear isn’t the one making the decision. **Does treatment mean I’ll have to watch birth videos or hear graphic stories?** No. You will never be forced to consume content that terrifies you. Exposure work in tokophobia therapy is gradual and collaborative, and it starts wherever you can tolerate, which might just be saying certain words out loud. You set the pace with your therapist, always. ### When to Reach Out for Tokophobia Therapy You don’t have to be in crisis to deserve support. If the fear is interfering with your relationships, your decisions about family, or your daily peace of mind, that’s enough. Consider reaching out if: - You’re avoiding pregnancy because of fear, not because you don’t want children - You’re already pregnant and the anxiety is consuming your days - You’ve had a previous birth experience you can’t seem to move past - The fear is affecting your sleep, appetite, or ability to function If you’re ready, we’d love to talk. Contact us to start tokophobia therapy with a clinician who understands what you’re going through and can help you move toward something that feels lighter. You don’t have to carry this alone. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, fear of childbirth, fear of pregnancy, OCD, phobias, tokophobia --- ### [What is OCD Checking & How to Overcome It](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/05/13/what-is-ocd-checking/) **Published:** May 13, 2024 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** You locked the door. It seems like you can remember locking the door. You can picture your hand on the deadbolt. And yet here you are, pulling the handle a sixth time, because some part of your brain refuses to accept it. If that loop sounds familiar, you may be dealing with checking OCD, and there’s something important you should know: the checking itself is what’s keeping you stuck. ![woman with OCD Checking, looking at her iron to see if it turned off ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/pexels-cottonbro-7705332-683x1024.jpg) ## What Is Checking OCD? Checking OCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where doubt drives you to verify things again and again: locks, appliances, sent emails, your own memory. The doubt arrives as an obsession (“what if the stove is on and the house burns down”), and the checking is the compulsion that promises relief. Here’s the part the stereotype gets wrong. Checking OCD isn’t satisfying, and it has nothing to do with loving a good to-do list. Each check buys a few seconds of relief before the doubt floods back, often stronger. The person checking the lock for the sixth time isn’t careful or thorough. She’s frightened, exhausted, and increasingly unable to trust her own mind. Along with contamination, checking is one of the most common ways OCD shows up, according to the [International OCD Foundation](https://iocdf.org/), and it’s also one of the most treatable. ## What Does Checking OCD Look Like? The checks themselves vary a lot from person to person. Some of the most common: - Locks, doors, and garage doors, sometimes driving back home to re-verify - Appliances: the stove, the oven, the curling iron, the space heater - Sent messages, rereading emails and texts for mistakes or something offensive - Driving routes, circling back to make sure you didn’t hit something - Your body, repeatedly checking sensations, moles, or symptoms - Other people, texting to confirm loved ones are safe, again Then there’s the invisible version. Mental checking means reviewing memories, conversations, or feelings in your head to verify nothing bad happened, and it’s every bit as compulsive as pulling the door handle. If your checks happen mostly inside your mind, our post on [mental compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/) will feel familiar. ## Is It Checking OCD or Just Being Careful? Everyone double-checks sometimes, so where’s the line? Three questions usually settle it. First, does the check stick? A careful person checks the stove once, feels done, and moves on. With checking OCD, certainty won’t hold. You verify, feel relief for a moment, and the doubt returns demanding another round. Second, how much does it cost you? Careful takes seconds. Compulsive checking eats time, makes you late, wakes you up at night, and pulls you out of conversations. Third, what happens if you resist? Skipping a routine double-check produces mild unease at most. Resisting a compulsion produces real distress: dread, a racing heart, an urge that feels impossible to ignore. If the third description fits, please hear this: that’s a treatable condition, and it says nothing about your competence or character. ## Why Does Checking Make the Doubt Worse? This is the cruelest trick in all of OCD, and understanding it changes everything. Checking doesn’t just fail to resolve your doubt. It manufactures more of it. In a [well-known series of experiments](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12600401/), researchers van den Hout and Kindt had people repeatedly check a virtual gas stove. The result, replicated many times since: the more people checked, the less vivid and detailed their memory of checking became, and the less they trusted it. Repetition made the act automatic, and automatic actions leave fuzzy memories. So the tenth check produced a weaker “yes, I did it” than the first. Read that again, because it explains your whole loop. You check because you don’t trust your memory, and checking is precisely what erodes your trust in your memory. The compulsion creates the exact doubt it promises to resolve. Which means the way out was never checking harder. The way out is learning to stop. ## How Do You Stop Checking OCD? The gold standard treatment is [Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/), and it targets the loop directly. All our OCD specialists are trained in it. In ERP, you and your therapist deliberately trigger the doubt, then practice not performing the check. That sounds brutal, so here’s what it actually looks like: you might lock the door once, walk away, and sit with the “but what if” feeling while your therapist coaches you through it. The urge rises, peaks, and then, without a single check, it falls on its own. Your brain learns two things it can’t learn any other way: the anxiety passes without the compulsion, and the feared disaster doesn’t happen. Sessions build gradually from easier checks to harder ones, always at a pace you agree to. Most people notice the urges losing their grip within weeks, and the research on ERP for checking OCD is some of the strongest in all of mental health treatment. One warning worth repeating: generic talk therapy, and even standard CBT that isn’t adapted for OCD, can make checking worse. Endless reassurance and analysis are just more checking with a co-pilot. An ERP-trained therapist matters here. ## What About Medication? Some of our clients do well with ERP alone. For others, especially when the anxiety is severe enough to make exposures feel impossible, [OCD medication](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/17/important-things-to-know-about-ocd-medication/) like an SSRI is what makes therapy click. Because our [in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) work alongside your therapist, that decision gets made by a team that actually talks to each other, and you never manage the gap between two offices. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Is checking a sign of anxiety or OCD?** It can be either, and the pattern tells you which. Anxiety-driven checking tends to rise and fall with stress and responds to reassurance. With checking OCD, the doubt returns immediately after verification, reassurance stops working, and rituals grow over time. A clinician trained in OCD can sort this out quickly, and the treatments differ, so the distinction matters. **Why do I keep rechecking things I just checked?** Because repetition degrades the very memory you’re trying to confirm. Research shows repeated checking makes your recollection of the check less vivid, which lowers your confidence, which triggers another check. You’re not losing your mind. You’re caught in a loop that behaves exactly this way for everyone who gets stuck in it. **Can checking OCD go away on its own?** Occasionally mild symptoms fade during low-stress stretches, but the pattern usually returns and often expands, since every check teaches your brain the doubt was dangerous. ERP breaks that cycle much faster than waiting, and it gives you tools for any future flare-up. **What is mental checking?** It’s the invisible twin of physical checking: reviewing memories, replaying conversations, or scanning your feelings to verify nothing is wrong. Because nobody can see it, mental checking often goes unrecognized for years. It responds to the same ERP approach, adapted for compulsions that happen inside your head. ## When Should You Reach Out? If checking is stealing your time, your sleep, or your trust in yourself, that’s reason enough. You don’t need to wait until you’re driving home from work to verify the stove for the third time this week. Checking OCD is one of [the 20 OCD subtypes](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/21/the-18-ocd-subtypes-and-how-to-recover/) our [ERP-trained therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia treat every week, and it responds beautifully to the right treatment. Contact Therapy for Women Center today to schedule a session and stop the loop for good! **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** obsessive compulsive disorder, phobias --- ### [Feeling Like a Fraud? How to Beat Imposter Syndrome & Self-Doubt](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/04/21/feeling-like-a-fraud-how-to-beat-imposter-syndrome-self-doubt/) **Published:** April 21, 2026 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** You got the promotion. You finished the degree. You’re doing well by every measure that should matter. So why do you keep waiting for someone to figure out you don’t belong here? Why do you keep feeling like a fraud? You probably are dealing with imposter syndrome. ![woman in a blazer feeling like a fraud on a break from work ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/vertical-shot-asian-young-woman-posing-street-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Impostor Syndrome, Really? Impostor syndrome is the persistent belief that your success isn’t earned, or that you’ve somehow fooled everyone around you. Psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes first named it in 1978, as they noticed it showing up again and again in high-achieving women. And the research backs this up. A [2024 meta-analysis](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666518224000093) of over 100 studies and 40,000 participants found that women consistently score higher on measures of imposter syndrome than men (*Current Research in Behavioral Sciences*). This isn’t about women being less competent. It’s about women being more likely to internalize doubt, even when the evidence says otherwise. You might recognize it as that voice that says “I just got lucky” after a big win. You may feel the urge to over-prepare for every meeting because you’re terrified of being caught off guard. Maybe you deflect compliments automatically, or you feel anxious when someone praises your work because you’re convinced they’ll eventually see through you. ## Why Do So Many Women End Up Feeling Like a Fraud? There’s no single cause, but a few patterns come up over and over in our therapy sessions with women experiencing imposter syndrome. **Perfectionism plays a huge role.** When your standard is “flawless,” anything less feels like proof you’re not good enough. You don’t give yourself credit for the 95% you nailed because you’re fixated on the 5% you didn’t. **Societal expectations matter too.** Society often teaches women to attribute success to external factors (help from others, luck, timing) while men are more likely to credit their own ability. That conditioning doesn’t just disappear because you landed a corner office. **Comparison is another trigger.** You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes footage to everyone else’s highlight reel, and the gap feels like evidence you don’t measure up. You may experience [spiraling thoughts.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/14/how-to-stop-spiraling-thoughts-why-you-spiral/) And some environments genuinely make it harder. If you’re one of few women in a male-dominated field, or you’ve been overlooked for opportunities, those experiences reinforce you feeling like a fraud. ## How Does Feeling Like a Fraud Affect Your Life? When feeling like a fraud becomes your default, it starts shaping your decisions. You might turn down opportunities because you don’t feel “ready enough.” Or overwork to compensate, which leads to burnout. You avoid speaking up in meetings or asking for raises you’ve earned. Some women describe a constant low hum of anxiety, like they’re always bracing for someone to call them out. Over time, this can contribute to anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. It’s exhausting to feel like you’re performing competence instead of simply being competent. ## How to Break Through Self-Doubt This is where therapy can make a real difference, and not just the “let’s talk about your childhood” kind. At our practice, we use specific, evidence-based approaches that target feeling like a fraud and imposter syndrome directly. [**Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)** ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/)is one of the most effective tools for this. ACT doesn’t try to argue you out of your imposter thoughts. Instead, it teaches you to notice those thoughts without letting them run the show. You learn to observe “I’m having the thought that I don’t deserve this” as just a thought, not a fact. Then you practice taking action based on your values rather than your fear of being “found out.” Many of our clients say this is the first thing that actually loosened the grip of self-doubt. **[Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/dbt-therapy/)** skills are also incredibly helpful, especially if those fraud feelings show up alongside anxiety or emotional overwhelm. DBT teaches concrete skills for managing intense emotions and improving how you relate to yourself. The self-compassion piece is especially powerful for women who hold themselves to impossible standards. Instead of beating yourself up for not knowing everything, you learn to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Both approaches are practical. You’ll walk away with strategies you can use in the moments that matter, like before a big presentation or after feedback that triggers that familiar spiral. ## When Should You Talk to a Therapist About impostor Syndrome? You don’t need to be in crisis to get help with feeling like a fraud. If any of these resonate, it might be time: - You consistently downplay your accomplishments, even to yourself - You feel anxious or panicky when you receive positive feedback - Self-doubt is affecting your sleep, your mood, or your relationships - You avoid new challenges because you’re afraid of failing publicly - You feel exhausted by the constant need to prove yourself These patterns don’t have to be your normal. That “I feel like a fraud” loop responds really well to treatment, and most women who work with a therapist on this notice how much shifts in a relatively short time. At our Philadelphia and South Jersey practice, [we have therapists who can help](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists)! **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** confidence, feeling like a fraud, fraud, imposter syndrome, low fee therapy, self esteem --- ### [The Ultimate Truth About Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/03/harm-ocd-postpartum/) **Published:** February 3, 2026 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** You’re holding your baby, completely exhausted but full of love. And then a thought flashes through your mind so disturbing you can barely breathe. An image of dropping them. A sudden urge that makes no sense. If this has happened to you, you’re not losing your mind. Postpartum intrusive thoughts are one of the most common and least talked about experiences of new motherhood, and when they become persistent and terrifying, they may be a sign of postpartum harm OCD. ![Mother holding her baby struggling with harm OCD and intrusive thoughts postpartum](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/high-angle-mother-holding-newborn-baby-scaled.jpg) ## Are Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Normal? Far more normal than anyone tells you. In [research published in BMC Psychiatry](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6429780/), between 70% and 100% of new mothers reported unwanted, intrusive thoughts of harm coming to their baby, including accidents, suffocation, and contamination. Nearly half reported thoughts of harming their infant on purpose, thoughts they found horrifying and would never act on. Read that again. Postpartum intrusive thoughts are the majority experience of new motherhood, not the exception. Your brain is running a threat-detection system on overdrive, scanning for every possible danger to your baby, and sometimes it shows you the danger in first person. For most women, these thoughts flash by, feel awful, and pass. The question that matters isn’t whether you have postpartum intrusive thoughts. It’s what happens next. When the thoughts become persistent, consume hours of your day, and drive you to avoid your baby or seek constant reassurance, that pattern has a name. ## What Is Harm OCD? Harm OCD is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder characterized by intrusive, unwanted thoughts about causing harm to yourself or others. It’s the clinical name for what happens when postpartum intrusive thoughts stop passing through and start taking over. These thoughts feel horrifying precisely because they clash with everything you believe. In new mothers, harm OCD often centers on the baby. You might have sudden images of dropping your child, fears about accidentally hurting them, or disturbing thoughts that feel completely out of character. The thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning they directly contradict your values and who you are. Having them doesn’t make you dangerous. ## Why Does This Happen After Having a Baby? The postpartum period creates a perfect storm for OCD to emerge or intensify. Sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, and the enormous responsibility of caring for a newborn all play a role. Your brain is working overtime to protect your baby. Sometimes that protective instinct misfires. Many women who develop postpartum OCD had no previous symptoms. In fact, a [2024 study led by Dr. Nichole Fairbrother](https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/understanding-postpartum-ocd-and-intrusive-thoughts/) found that more than two-thirds of women who met criteria for perinatal OCD had no history of OCD before pregnancy, and 83% of those new cases began in the postpartum period. The timing isn’t random. Your nervous system is primed to detect threats, and occasionally that threat-detection goes haywire. Here’s the cruel irony: the mothers most tortured by these thoughts are usually the ones who would never harm their child. The thoughts feel so wrong because they are wrong for you. ## Am I Actually Dangerous? This question keeps many mothers awake long after the baby has fallen asleep. And it’s also what stops women from getting help. They’re terrified that telling someone will confirm their worst fear: that they’re actually dangerous. Here’s how harm OCD differs from genuine violent intent: - You’re horrified by the thoughts. They cause intense distress, not relief or satisfaction. - You don’t want to act on them. You’d do anything to make them stop. - You avoid situations that trigger the thoughts. Maybe you’ve started avoiding being alone with your baby or hiding the kitchen knives. - You seek reassurance constantly. You might ask your partner repeatedly if you’re a good mother, or find yourself googling “am I going to hurt my baby” at 3 a.m. If you recognized yourself in that list, you’re likely dealing with harm OCD. In contrast, women who actually pose a danger to their children don’t feel distressed by violent thoughts. They don’t frantically search for reassurance. With postpartum intrusive thoughts, the fear itself is often the clearest sign that you’re safe. ## Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts vs Postpartum Psychosis Many mothers searching about postpartum intrusive thoughts land on this comparison at 3 a.m., so let’s be clear about it. These thoughts, including the harm OCD kind, are unwanted. You know they’re wrong, you’re horrified by them, and your grip on reality stays fully intact. Postpartum psychosis is different and much rarer, affecting roughly 1 to 2 in 1,000 new mothers. It involves losing touch with reality: beliefs that feel true, hallucinations, confusion, or feeling commanded to act. A mother with OCD fears her thoughts. A mother in psychosis may not recognize her thoughts as a problem at all. If you or someone you love shows signs of psychosis, confusion, or thoughts that feel true or commanding, treat it as a medical emergency and seek care immediately. For everything else in this post, the fear you feel about your thoughts is itself strong evidence that OCD, and OCD is very treatable. ## How Is Harm OCD Treated? The good news is that harm OCD responds well to treatment, whether you’re struggling with it postpartum or during another stage of your life. At our practice, our [OCD therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) use evidence-based approaches that can create real change, often within weeks. **Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).** ERP is the gold standard for OCD treatment. It works by gradually exposing you to the thoughts and situations you fear while teaching you to resist the compulsions that keep the cycle going. It sounds counterintuitive, maybe even frightening. But ERP doesn’t ask you to do anything dangerous. Instead, it teaches your brain that the thoughts themselves aren’t dangerous, and that you can tolerate the discomfort. Over time, the thoughts lose their grip on you. **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).** ACT helps you change your relationship with intrusive thoughts. Instead of fighting them or trying to suppress them (which usually makes them louder), you learn to notice them and let them pass. Many of our clients say ACT helps them stop feeling like a hostage to their own mind. **Medication support.** Sometimes therapy alone isn’t enough. And that’s okay. Our [in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether medication might help. Many medications are compatible with breastfeeding, and for some women, medication is what finally helps them feel like themselves again. ## Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts FAQs **How long do postpartum intrusive thoughts last?** For most new mothers, postpartum intrusive thoughts peak in the first few weeks after birth and fade over the following months as sleep and hormones stabilize. When postpartum intrusive thoughts persist, intensify, or come with growing compulsions, that’s the signal to get evaluated rather than wait them out. **Do intrusive thoughts mean I secretly want to hurt my baby?** No. Research consistently finds that postpartum intrusive thoughts don’t reflect hidden desires and don’t predict harmful behavior. They’re your threat-detection system misfiring, showing you the worst case precisely because it’s the thing you most want to prevent. **Should I tell my doctor or therapist about these thoughts?** Yes, and it helps to know that clinicians trained in perinatal mental health hear about intrusive thoughts constantly and won’t be alarmed by them. Being honest is what gets you the right diagnosis and the right treatment. If a provider ever responds poorly, that reflects their training gap, and a perinatal specialist is a better fit. **What’s the difference between intrusive thoughts and postpartum anxiety?** They overlap and often travel together. [Postpartum anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/05/05/baby-blues-vs-postpartum-depression-the-real-signs-to-know/) tends to show up as constant worry, hypervigilance, and an inability to rest. Intrusive thoughts are sharper and more image-based, and in harm OCD they come with compulsions like checking, avoiding, or reassurance-seeking. A [postpartum therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/01/05/you-need-a-postpartum-therapist/) can help you sort out which pattern fits. ## When Should You Reach Out? If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself, that’s probably your answer. You don’t need to wait until you’re in crisis. And you don’t need to prove your symptoms are “bad enough.” Instead, trust your instincts. (Easier said than done with OCD.) But if something feels wrong, it’s worth talking to someone who understands. After all, reaching out isn’t a sign that you’re failing at motherhood. It’s a sign of how much you care. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood includes [perinatal mental health specialists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/) who focus on both postpartum mental health and OCD. Several have received advanced training through Postpartum Support International. We understand what these thoughts are, and we’ve helped many mothers just like you. Contact Therapy for Women Center today to schedule a session. You don’t have to keep suffering in silence. We understand postpartum intrusive thoughts, and we’ve helped many mothers just like you. **Categories:** OCD, Therapy for Women **Tags:** harm ocd, perinatal, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, postpartum OCD --- ### [Baby Blues vs Postpartum Depression: The Real Signs to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/05/05/baby-blues-vs-postpartum-depression-the-real-signs-to-know/) **Published:** May 5, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You just had a baby, and instead of the bliss everyone promised, you’re crying over a cereal commercial. Or snapping at your partner for breathing too loudly. Or staring at your newborn and feeling nothing at all. Before you spiral into thinking something is seriously wrong, take a breath. Sorting out baby blues vs postpartum depression is can be really challenging but important. Unlike baby blues, postpartum depression doesn’t resolve on its own. ![New mom dressing her baby struggling with baby blues ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/young-mother-with-newborn-baby-newborn-baby-683x1024.jpg) ## What Are the Baby Blues? Baby blues are your body’s response to a massive hormonal shift. Within hours of delivery, estrogen and progesterone levels drop dramatically, and that crash can hit hard. According to the [March of Dimes](https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy), up to 4 in 5 new mothers (80%) experience some form of this in the days after giving birth. So if you’re feeling weepy, overwhelmed, or emotionally all over the place, you are in very good company. Common signs include crying more than usual, feeling anxious or irritable, having trouble sleeping even when the baby sleeps, and mood swings that seem to come out of nowhere. You might feel completely like yourself one hour and totally unraveled the next. All of this falls within the range of normal. ## How Long Do the Baby Blues Last? This is one of the most common questions new mothers ask, and the answer is reassuring. Typically, these feelings peak around day three to five after delivery and resolve on their own within one to two weeks. Here’s what to watch for, though. If those feelings aren’t fading after two weeks, or if they’re getting worse instead of better, that’s worth paying attention to. What started as baby blues may actually be postpartum depression, and that requires a different kind of support. ## What Is the Difference Between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression? The line between the two isn’t always obvious. Both involve sadness, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed. But postpartum depression is more intense, lasts longer, and according to the [American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists](https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/postpartum-depression), it can begin anywhere from a few weeks to a full year after delivery. It goes beyond weepiness and irritability. You might notice: - A persistent feeling of hopelessness or emptiness that doesn’t lift - Losing interest in things you normally care about, including your baby - Difficulty bonding or feeling emotionally disconnected from your newborn - Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby - Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach problems, or muscle pain with no clear cause If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please reach out for help right away. You can call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), free and confidential, any time of day. These thoughts are a symptom, and they are treatable. One of the trickiest parts is that postpartum depression can disguise itself. Sometimes it looks like rage instead of sadness. Sometimes it looks like going through the motions perfectly while [feeling absolutely nothing inside](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/14/the-truth-about-emotional-numbness-why-you-feel-nothing/). And sometimes it shows up as intense anxiety or intrusive, disturbing thoughts that feel completely unlike you. If any of this resonates, please know this is a medical condition, and it responds very well to treatment, especially when caught early. It says nothing about you as a mother. ## How Can Our Therapists Help? At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, our [postpartum therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/01/05/you-need-a-postpartum-therapist/) specialize in exactly this. They’ve worked with hundreds of new mothers and they won’t judge you for anything you’re feeling or thinking. We use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you manage intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety without fighting against them. Instead of trying to suppress scary thoughts (which usually makes them louder), ACT teaches you to observe them, let them pass, and refocus on what actually matters to you. For mothers dealing with birth trauma or PTSD symptoms, [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain process what happened so the memories stop hijacking your nervous system. Many women notice real shifts in just a few sessions. And if therapy alone isn’t enough, our [in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether medication might help. Many options are compatible with breastfeeding, and because our prescribers work directly with your therapist, nothing falls through the cracks. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Can baby blues turn into postpartum depression?** They can. Most cases of baby blues resolve on their own, but for some women the symptoms deepen instead of lifting. The two-week mark is the useful line: feelings that persist or worsen past it deserve an evaluation, even if they started as ordinary blues. **Can you get postpartum depression months after giving birth?** Yes. While it most often begins within the first few weeks, postpartum depression can develop any time in the first year. A late onset surprises many women, who assume they’re past the risk window. If new symptoms appear at month six or nine, they still count and still deserve treatment. **Do the baby blues need treatment?** Usually not. Rest, support, food, and time resolve them for most women. That said, you don’t need to meet criteria for a diagnosis to talk to someone. If the blues feel heavier than expected, a session or two of support can make those early weeks gentler. ## When Should You Reach Out? If you’re reading this and questioning whether what you’re feeling is normal, that question itself matters. You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out. Whether it’s baby blues that feel heavier than expected or something deeper that won’t let go, talking to someone who understands can change everything. Our team includes [perinatal mental health specialists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/) with advanced training through Postpartum Support International. Contact Therapy for Women Center today to schedule a session with a postpartum therapist who gets it. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** baby blues, depression, Motherhood, postpartum depression, postpartum OCD, Postpartum rage --- ### [What is Narcissistic Gaslighting? How to Spot this Manipulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/) **Published:** July 15, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Ever felt like you’re going crazy in a relationship – whether it’s with a partner, friend, or family member – constantly doubting what you know to be true? You might be experiencing narcissistic gaslighting. While this term gets tossed around a lot on social media, let’s talk about what it really means and why it’s so confusing to spot. ![woman talking to her partner and wondering if he is engaging in narcissistic gaslighting ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/close-up-women-chatting-scaled.jpg) ## What Makes Gaslighting Different From Plain Old Lying? Think of lying like burning toast – it’s pretty obvious when someone’s done it. But gaslighting? That’s more like someone slowly turning down your toaster settings while insisting they haven’t touched anything. When you notice your toast is barely warm, they tell you you’re imagining things. It’s easy to spot a plain old lie and then not question it, but gaslighting makes you question what you’re witnessing and know to be true. Here’s the key difference: lying is simply telling an untruth, like “I didn’t drink today” when someone did. Gaslighting goes deeper – it’s when someone tells you your reality isn’t real. They might say, “You’re crazy to think I’ve been drinking. That’s just cranberry juice. You always make up stories about me.” ## What is Narcissistic Gaslighting? Narcissistic gaslighting takes this manipulation to another level. It’s not just about changing your version of events – it’s about breaking down your entire sense of self. This is an [intentional action](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/) by someone to exert power or control within the relationship. Imagine if someone was systematically dimming all the lights in your house while telling you that your vision is getting worse. Some common phrases you might hear from [a narcissist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/15/is-everyone-a-narcissist-the-answer-may-surprise-you/) who is gaslighting you : - “That never happened – you’re making things up again” - “You’re too sensitive – everyone else thinks you’re overreacting” - “I only did that because you made me” - “No one else sees what you’re claiming to see” ## The Impact on Your Mind Living with narcissistic gaslighting feels like walking through a funhouse where all the mirrors are warped. You start questioning everything: your memories, your feelings, your judgement and your sanity. Here’s what makes it so tricky: not all gaslighting comes from bad intentions. Sometimes parents trying to protect their kids might say, “Everything’s fine” when it isn’t. But narcissistic gaslighting is different – it’s purposeful and persistent. ## How to Spot Narcissistic Gaslighting Pay attention to how you feel. If you’re constantly: - Second-guessing your memories - Apologizing for things you’re not sure about - Feeling confused about what’s real - Making excuses for someone’s behavior These might be signs you’re experiencing narcissistic gaslighting. ## Protecting Yourself It is not normal to constantly feel confused. Trust your gut when it tells you something’s wrong. Your feelings and memories are valid, even when someone tries to convince you otherwise. You don’t need to prove you’re being gaslighted to deserve support and help. ## Frequently Asked Questions About Narcissistic Gaslighting **Can someone gaslight without realizing it?** Yes! Not all gaslighting is intentional. But narcissistic gaslighting typically involves conscious manipulation to maintain control. **How is narcissistic gaslighting different from regular gaslighting?** Narcissistic gaslighting is more systematic and aimed at maintaining power. It’s usually paired with other manipulative behaviors, and [emotional abuse ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/18/9-painful-signs-of-emotional-abuse-you-need-to-know/)and rarely changes, even when confronted. **Can gaslighting happen in friendships and families, not just romantic relationships?** Absolutely. Narcissistic gaslighting can happen in any relationship where someone wants to maintain control over others. It can be especially devastating when you discover your childhood involved continuous [gaslighting from your parents. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/) **What’s the first step in dealing with narcissistic gaslighting?** Start trusting your own experiences again. Keep notes about events if you can, and reach out to people you trust to maintain your grip on reality. A great book on the subject is “[It’s not You”. ](https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-You-Identifying-Narcissistic/dp/0593492625) ## The Bottom Line Narcissistic gaslighting is more than just lying or manipulation – it’s an attempt to reshape your reality. But here’s the truth: you’re not crazy, and you’re not imagining things. Your experiences are real, your feelings matter, and there are people ready to help you find solid ground again. Remember: you don’t need to prove something’s wrong to know it feels wrong. Trust yourself, seek support, and know that your perception of reality is valid. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, Narcissism, Narcissist, trauma --- ### [Am I a Narcissist? A Therapist Explains How to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/08/26/am-i-a-narcissist/) **Published:** August 26, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** If you’re asking yourself “Am I a narcissist?” you’re not alone. This question has become increasingly common among young adults especially as conversations about [narcissistic traits](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/15/is-everyone-a-narcissist-the-answer-may-surprise-you/) flood social media and dating apps. The irony? The very fact that you’re genuinely concerned about being narcissistic likely means you’re not one. Let’s explore why this question has become so prevalent and help you understand the difference between healthy self-focus and problematic narcissistic behavior patterns. ![woman wondering Am I a narcissist while taking a selfie in Rittenhouse Square](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/medium-shot-smiley-woman-posing-outdoors-683x1024.jpg) ## Why Am I Questioning If I’m a Narcissist? The term “narcissist” has exploded in popular culture, from TikTok videos to coffee shop conversations in Center City. [Everyone seems to be calling their ex, their boss, or their parents narcissistic](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/15/is-everyone-a-narcissist-the-answer-may-surprise-you/). This cultural shift has many people wondering: “Am I a narcissist too?” Several factors contribute to this self-questioning. First, we live in an age of social media where curating your image is the norm. Posting that perfect brunch photo from Rittenhouse Square or celebrating your promotion might feel narcissistic, but it’s actually typical social behavior. Second, our individualistic culture encourages self-promotion and personal achievement. The key difference lies in genuine self-reflection. People with narcissistic personality disorder rarely question their behavior or consider how they affect others. If you’re worried about being too self-centered, that self-awareness itself suggests healthy psychological functioning. ## What Does It Really Mean to Ask “Am I a Narcissist?” Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, and we all have some of them. Healthy self-focus includes appropriate self-esteem, confidence in your abilities, and taking care of your needs. However, problematic narcissism involves persistent patterns of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and exploitation of relationships. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) typically don’t engage in genuine self-reflection about their impact on others. When you ask “Am I a narcissist?” consider what triggered this question. Did someone call you selfish after you set a boundary? Are you comparing yourself to truly harmful people in your life? Often, this self-questioning emerges from guilt about normal self-care or assertiveness. Many young adults in therapy share similar concerns. They worry that prioritizing their mental health, career goals, or personal growth makes them narcissistic. In reality, these behaviors often represent healthy self-development rather than signs of narcissism. ## How Do I Know If My Self-Focus Is Healthy or Harmful? Healthy self-focus includes the ability to empathize with others, maintain genuine relationships, and acknowledge your mistakes. People engaging in healthy self-focus can celebrate their achievements without diminishing others. They set boundaries without manipulating or punishing people. They can handle criticism and use it for growth rather than becoming defensive or retaliatory. [Narcissistic behavior patterns](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/), however, involve consistent exploitation, manipulation, [gaslighting, ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/)[triangulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/24/triangulation-in-relationships/) and lack of genuine empathy. People displaying these signs of narcissism rarely question whether they’re narcissistic because they don’t see their behavior as problematic. However, if you’re concerned about your behavior, examine your relationships. Do people feel heard and valued around you? Can you apologize sincerely when you’ve hurt someone? Do you celebrate others’ successes without making it about yourself? Consider keeping a reflection journal for a week. Notice when you focus on yourself versus when you consider others’ perspectives. This self-awareness exercise itself demonstrates the kind of introspection that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder typically avoid. ## When Should I Seek Professional Help If I’m Wondering, “Am I a Narcissist?” If you’re still asking “Am I a narcissist?” despite self-reflection, professional guidance can provide clarity and peace of mind. A qualified therapist can help distinguish between healthy self-focus and problematic narcissistic traits. Therapy is particularly valuable if your concerns about narcissism stem from past relationships with truly narcissistic individuals. Sometimes people who’ve been hurt by those displaying signs of narcissism become hypervigilant about their own behavior, creating unnecessary anxiety. Fortunately, at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we understand how cultural pressures and past experiences can create confusion about healthy versus unhealthy self-focus. Our therapists help clients develop realistic self-awareness while building confidence in their interpersonal skills. And if you are struggling with someone else’s narcissistic behavior, [we can help](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy) too. Professional support is especially beneficial if you’re struggling with guilt about self-care, difficulty maintaining relationships, or persistent worry about your character. These concerns often reflect underlying issues that therapy can effectively address. Remember, seeking therapy demonstrates the same self-awareness and care for others that contradicts narcissistic behavior patterns. People with narcissistic personality disorder rarely pursue therapy voluntarily or engage authentically in the therapeutic process. ## FAQ: Common Questions About Narcissism **Can someone have narcissistic traits without having NPD?** Yes, narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum. [Everyone has some of these traits](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nuance-needed/id1769274006?i=1000704568171), which can be healthy when balanced with empathy and self-awareness. **Do people with narcissistic personality disorder ever question if they’re narcissistic?** Rarely. Those with NPD typically lack the self-awareness in particular to question their behavior or consider their impact on others sincerely. **Are there different signs of narcissism to watch for?** Yes, signs include lack of empathy, grandiosity, exploitation of relationships, and inability to handle criticism constructively. **Is healthy self-focus different from narcissistic behavior?** Absolutely. Healthy self-focus coexists with empathy, accountability, and genuine care for others, while narcissistic behavior requires putting others down. --- If you’re concerned about narcissistic traits or relationship patterns, or you are worried about someone else, we can help! We serve 43 states across the country for virtual therapy and have four office locations in the Philadelphia area (Old City, Logan Square, Main Line and South Jersey). [Contact](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) Therapy for Women today to explore these questions with a qualified professional who can provide personalized insight and support for your mental health journey. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** estrangement, Narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic relationships, NPD, parental estrangement --- ### [Important Things to Consider Before Cutting Off Your Parents](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/18/parental-estrangement-important-things-to-consider-before-cutting-off-your-parents/) **Published:** December 18, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** The decision to consider cutting off your parents ranks among life’s most challenging choices. While social media often portrays parental estrangement as an empowering move, the reality involves much more nuance and careful consideration. Let’s explore the complexities of family boundaries, toxic relationships, and healing. ![couple sitting on a bed feeling sad because they are considering parental estrangement ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/young-couple-suffering-from-std-scaled.jpg) ## Why People Consider Cutting Off Their Parents (Parental Estrangement) Before cutting off your parents completely, recognize that parental estrangement often follows years of: - Repeated boundary violations - Toxic family dynamics - Emotional or physical abuse - Failed attempts at communication - Unresolved family trauma - Complex parent-child relationship issues ## The Impact of Cutting Off Your Parents Parental estrangement affects every aspect of your emotional well-being. Even when necessary, cutting off contact with parents creates: - Ongoing grief and loss - Mixed feelings of relief and guilt - Complex trauma responses - Changes in other family relationships - Need for emotional healing - Questions about family identity ## Signs It Might Be Time to Consider Parental Estrangement **Consider these key questions before making your decision:** - Have you clearly expressed your feelings? - Are your parents aware of how their behavior affects you? - Have you attempted family therapy? - Does maintaining contact harm your mental health? - Have you tried setting smaller boundaries first? ## Alternatives to Cutting Off Your Parents **Remember that cutting off your parents isn’t your only choice. Consider:** - Limited contact periods - Structured communication boundaries - Specific occasion-only visits - Third-party mediated interactions - Clear behavioral expectations - Emotional distancing while maintaining minimal contact ## The Reality of Grief and Loss The journey through family estrangement involves complex emotions that evolve over time. You’ll likely experience deep sadness about the relationship you deserved but never received. It is a grief that can feel particularly raw and overwhelming. During significant life moments – graduations, weddings, the birth of children – you might find yourself questioning your decisions and wrestling with complicated feelings. Holidays and celebrations often bring their own unique challenges, as these times traditionally center around family gatherings. You’ll need to create new traditions while processing the absence of family connections. The process often involves working through childhood trauma, understanding how past experiences shaped your current relationships and decisions. As you navigate family healing, whether that means healing yourself or attempting to repair relationships, you’ll discover this journey isn’t linear. Some days feel easier than others, and that’s normal. ## Moving Forward with Boundaries Moving forward requires a commitment to your own growth and healing. Start by prioritizing your emotional well-being, even when it feels uncomfortable or selfish. Work on developing healthy relationship patterns in other areas of your life. Remember that your family experiences don’t need to define all your connections. Focus on personal growth and healing, allowing yourself time to process and evolve. Build a strong support system of friends, chosen family, and professionals who understand and respect your journey. Join a [support group](https://callinghome.co/). Maintain clear communication strategies in all your relationships. Use the lessons learned from your family experiences to create healthier boundaries. ## Frequently Asked Questions About Parental Estrangement **Q: Is cutting off your parents ever the right choice?** A: While parental estrangement is a serious decision, it may be necessary in cases of abuse, toxic behavior, or ongoing harm to your mental health. **Q: What are the psychological effects of cutting off your parents?** A: Common effects include grief, relief, guilt, and a complex mixture of emotions that may require professional support to process. **Q: Can you temporarily cut off contact with parents?** A: Yes, some people choose temporary no-contact periods to establish boundaries and heal before potentially reconnecting. **Q: How do you maintain boundaries after estrangement?** A: Setting clear expectations, building a support network, and working with a therapist can help maintain healthy boundaries. ## Need Support with Family Boundaries or Toxic Parents? Navigating family trauma and considering parental estrangement requires professional support. Our trauma-informed therapists specialize in: - Family boundary setting - Processing childhood wounds - Healing parent-child relationships - Managing family dynamics - Supporting emotional recovery [Contact us today](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/online-therapy/ "Online Therapy") to schedule a consultation with a therapist who understands the complexities of family estrangement and can help you navigate this challenging journey. Remember: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to family relationships. Your path may look different from others, and that’s okay. Focus on what brings you peace and supports your emotional well-being. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** family boundaries, family therapy, parental estrangement, relationships --- ### [How to Deal with Toxic Parents: A Guide for Adult Children](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/) **Published:** July 29, 2025 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Growing up with toxic parents leaves lasting wounds that don’t magically heal when you become an adult. Many people in the Philadelphia and South Jersey area struggle with the complex emotions that come from having emotionally immature parents who were unable to provide the love and support every child deserves. If you’re an adult child still grappling with the effects of toxic parenting, you’re not alone. Understanding how to navigate these challenging relationships while protecting your mental health is crucial for your wellbeing. ![toxic parent yelling at young daughter ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/young-child-suffering-from-abuse-by-parent-home-683x1024.jpg) ## Understanding Toxic Parents and Their Impact Toxic parents are those who consistently engage in harmful behaviors that damage their children’s emotional development. These behaviors often stem from their own emotional immaturity, trauma, or mental health issues. However, understanding the “why” doesn’t excuse the impact on you. Emotionally immature parents typically display certain patterns. They may be self-centered, unable to regulate their emotions, or incapable of taking responsibility for their actions. They often blame their children for problems, use guilt as a weapon, or swing between being overly involved and completely distant. The effects of growing up with toxic parents extend far into adulthood. You might struggle with self-doubt, have difficulty setting boundaries, or find yourself constantly seeking approval from others. Many adult children also experience anxiety, depression, or challenges in forming healthy relationships. ## Recognizing Toxic Patterns in Your Adult Relationship As an adult, toxic parents don’t simply disappear from your life. Instead, they often continue their harmful patterns through manipulation, guilt-trips, or emotional blackmail. They might criticize your life choices, dismiss your feelings, or make everything about themselves during family gatherings. Some common signs include parents who refuse to respect your boundaries, constantly compare you to others, or make you feel guilty for having your own life. They may also minimize your achievements while amplifying your mistakes, or use emotional manipulation to control your decisions. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing. Many adults realize they’ve been walking on eggshells around their parents for years, constantly trying to avoid conflict or gain approval that never comes. If you have siblings, this also may take the form of [triangulation.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/24/triangulation-in-relationships/) ## Setting Boundaries with Toxic Parents Boundary setting becomes essential when dealing with toxic parents. This process often feels overwhelming because toxic parents typically react poorly to boundaries. They may increase their manipulative behavior, play victim, or try to guilt you into backing down. This may be a sign that you are [enmeshed ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/04/07/what-is-enmeshment-the-truth-about-losing-yourself/)with your parents. Start with small, manageable boundaries and gradually build your confidence. For example, you might limit phone calls to once a week or decide not to discuss certain topics with them. Remember that boundaries aren’t about punishing your parents – they’re about protecting your mental health. Consider what [consequences you’re willing to enforce](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/18/parental-estrangement-important-things-to-consider-before-cutting-off-your-parents/) if boundaries are crossed. This might mean ending a conversation, leaving a family gathering early, or temporarily reducing contact. Having a clear plan helps you stay consistent when emotions run high. ## Healing Strategies for Adult Children Healing from toxic parenting requires patience and often professional support. Many residents of the Philadelphia and South Jersey areas find therapy particularly helpful in processing their childhood experiences and developing healthier relationship patterns. Self-compassion becomes crucial during this journey. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid, even if your parents dismiss them. Practice speaking to yourself with the kindness you would show a friend facing similar struggles. Consider these helpful approaches: - **Journaling**: Writing about your experiences can help you process complex emotions and identify patterns in your relationship with your parents - **Support groups**: Connecting with others who understand your experience reduces isolation and provides validation. We love the support at [Calling Home](https://callinghome.co/) - **Mindfulness practices**: Learning to stay present helps you respond rather than react during difficult interactions - **Building chosen family**: Cultivating relationships with people who truly support and value you creates the emotional safety your parents couldn’t provide ## When to Consider Therapy [Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/08/19/therapy-isnt-causing-estranged-adult-children/) becomes particularly valuable when you find yourself repeating unhealthy patterns in your own relationships or struggling with persistent anxiety, depression, or self-doubt. A therapist can help you work through [childhood trauma](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy), develop effective coping strategies, and learn to form healthier relationships. At Therapy for Women, we have a number of [therapists ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)who are experts in support adult children of emotionally immature, toxic or abusive parents and families. We would love to support you if you live in the 43 states online we serve, or one of our physical offices in the Philadelphia and South Jersey area! Dealing with toxic parents doesn’t mean you have to carry their dysfunction forever. While you can’t change your parents, you can change how you respond to them and how much influence you allow them to have over your life. Get started today! **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Abuse, ACOA, Adult children of emotionally immature parents, family trauma, gaslighting, Narcissism, Narcissist, trauma --- ### [The Hidden Impact of a Narcissistic Family: How to Break Free](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/11/13/the-hidden-impact-of-a-narcissistic-family-how-to-break-free/) **Published:** November 13, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Have you ever wondered why certain family patterns feel suffocating, yet everyone tells you “that’s just how families are”? Growing up in a narcissistic family can feel like living in a house of mirrors: everything looks normal from the outside, but inside, everything’s distorted. Let’s talk about what really happens in narcissistic families and why it matters for your healing. ![Narcissistic family of 4 adults and 2 children posing outside ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/full-shot-happy-family-nature-scaled.jpg) ## Which Characteristics Make a Family “Narcissistic”? Think of a narcissistic family like a play where one or two people always have to be the star, and everyone else is just part of the supporting cast. Sometimes it’s obvious – like a parent who demands constant attention. Other times, it’s subtle – like a family that looks perfect on Facebook but feels hollow behind closed doors. ## Signs You Might Come From a Narcissistic Family Like ingredients in a [toxic recipe](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/), these patterns might feel familiar: - Your achievements either get ignored or claimed as someone else’s success - Family members often say “You’re too sensitive” when you express feelings - There’s always drama, but nobody ever takes responsibility - Your family has a “perfect” image on the outside that feels fake to you - You learned early on that your needs came last - Your family [dismissed or minimized](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/) your feelings - Family loyalty matters more than your personal wellbeing ## The “Normal Meter” Gets Broken When you grow up in a narcissistic family, your sense of normal gets rewired. You might: - Apologize for taking up space - Feel guilty about having needs - Can’t trust your own memories or feelings - Find yourself taking care of everyone else’s emotions - Never learned how to set healthy boundaries ## Why It’s Hard to See When You’re In It Growing up in a narcissistic family is like being told the sky is green your whole life. When someone finally points out it’s blue, it’s hard to believe them. Your family’s version of reality becomes your reality – until something makes you question everything. Here’s the truth that many people don’t talk about: recognizing these patterns doesn’t mean you have to hate your family or cut them off. But it does mean you can: - Trust your memories and feelings - Set boundaries without guilt - Put your needs first sometimes - Build healthier relationships - Start healing old wounds ## Frequently Asked Questions About Narcissistic Family Dynamics **Can a family be narcissistic without diagnosed narcissist parents?** Yes! Family systems create narcissistic patterns regardless of clinical diagnoses. Focus on the [dynamics](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-to-do-when-you-have-a-narcissistic-family/id1706820976?i=1000673434097), not the labels. **Is it normal for narcissistic families to look perfect on social media?** Absolutely. Many narcissistic families are experts at image management, making their Instagram feed look picture-perfect while hiding the reality. **How do I heal from growing up in a narcissistic family?** Start with small steps: validate your own experiences, connect with supportive people, and consider working with a trauma-informed therapist who understands family dynamics. **Does everyone in a narcissistic family get affected the same way?** No. Different family members often take on different roles – the achiever, the peacemaker, the scapegoat. Each role comes with its own challenges and healing journey. ## The Bottom Line Growing up in a narcissistic family leaves marks that can feel invisible to others but deeply real to you. Your experiences matter, your feelings are valid, and your healing journey is worth taking. Whether you’re just realizing these patterns or have known about them for years, it’s never too late to start healing. Remember: You didn’t cause the dysfunction, you can’t control it, but you can heal from it. And you don’t have to do it alone. If you grew up in a narcissistic family, you may have anxiety, depression, PTSD or another mental health condition. [See how our therapists can help you heal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/). **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** anxiety, depression, family boundaries, family therapy, Narcissism, Narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic relationships, PTSD, trauma --- ### [Examples of Narcissistic Behavior That Actually Feel Like Love](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/) **Published:** March 10, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You leave the conversation confused. Maybe even apologizing for something you’re pretty sure you didn’t do. Later, you replay it and think: was that as strange as it felt? If you’re searching for examples of narcissistic behavior, you’re probably trying to make sense of a relationship that’s left you doubting your own reality. However, that self-doubt is not a flaw, but a symptom. ## **What Counts as Narcissistic Behavior?** Narcissistic behavior is a pattern of manipulation, control, and emotional exploitation that prioritizes one person’s needs at everyone else’s expense. But this isn’t just arrogance or occasional selfishness. It’s a consistent dynamic where you end up feeling small, confused, or responsible for problems you didn’t create. One important distinction: narcissistic behavior is not the same as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. NPD is a clinical diagnosis that only a mental health professional can make. Someone can display narcissistic behaviors without having a personality disorder. They might be going through a difficult time, repeating patterns from their own childhood, or struggling with other issues entirely. This matters because the goal isn’t to diagnose anyone. It’s to help you recognize patterns that are hurting you, regardless of their cause. Your experience is valid whether or not the other person meets criteria for a clinical diagnosis. What matters is the impact on you. [These behaviors exist on a spectrum.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/08/26/am-i-a-narcissist/) Some are obvious, like explosive rage when someone’s ego is threatened. But others are subtle enough that you might not recognize them for years. The hallmark is this: after enough time, you start questioning yourself more than you question them. The examples of narcissistic behavior below might help you recognize what you’ve been experiencing. ![Woman wondering if her partner is displaying examples of narcissistic behavior ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/sad-contemplative-woman-sitting-by-lake-scaled.jpg) ## **What Are Examples of Narcissistic Behavior in Romantic Relationships?** In [romantic relationships](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/08/why-relationship-anxiety-hijacks-your-brain-and-how-to-heal/), narcissistic behavior often starts with intensity that feels like love. The attention, the compliments, the sense that you’ve finally found someone who truly sees you. But over time, patterns emerge. Gaslighting is common. This isn’t just a disagreement in what you and your partner remember. [Gaslighting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/) is when someone tries to manipulate you by acting as though your memory is wrong. The key difference between gaslighting and lying? Lying = I didn’t do it. Gaslighting = You’re crazy, you didn’t see me do it. Eventually, you stop trusting your own memory. Then there’s the cycle of idealization and devaluation. One week you’re perfect; the next you can’t do anything right. You work harder to get back to the “good” version of the relationship, not realizing the instability is the point. Other patterns include: - Taking credit for your successes while blaming you for their failures - Punishing you with silence when you set a boundary - Making you feel guilty for time spent with friends or family If you’ve ever thought “I don’t even know what I did wrong,” that [confusion may be a sign.](https://doctor-ramani.com/) ## **What Are Examples of Narcissistic Behavior From Parents?** Growing up with a narcissistic parent shapes you in ways that can take decades to untangle. According to research published in the *[Journal of Personality](https://ijbmc.org/index.php/ijbmc/article/view/1111)*, adult children of narcissistic parents report significantly higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to their peers. Some examples are loud: a parent who rages at unmet expectations, competes with you, or claims your achievements as their own. But many are quieter. A parent who dismisses your emotions teaches you your feelings aren’t valid. One who makes every conversation about themselves teaches you your experiences don’t matter. A parent who withdraws love as punishment teaches you affection must be earned. As an adult, you might struggle to identify your own needs. You might feel responsible for other people’s emotions. Or you might find yourself in relationships that echo these dynamics, not because you chose them consciously, but because they feel familiar. ## **Why Do These Patterns Hurt So Much?** Narcissistic behavior is [crazymaking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/) because it’s inconsistent. If someone were cruel all the time, you’d leave. But the good moments keep you hoping. The affection feels earned. And because the other person rarely takes responsibility, you end up holding all the blame. But over time, this erodes your sense of self. Eventually you become hypervigilant, scanning for mood shifts. You shrink to avoid conflict. You lose touch with what you actually want because you’ve spent so long managing someone else’s reactions. This isn’t weakness. It’s a normal response to an abnormal situation. ## **How Does Therapy Help You Heal?** Therapy offers something narcissistic relationships take away: a space where your experience is believed. A therapist can help you recognize patterns you’ve normalized, rebuild trust in your own perceptions, and develop boundaries that actually protect you. For many people, this is the first time someone has said “that wasn’t okay” without caveats. If you’re carrying trauma from these relationships, approaches like [EMDR ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy)can help your nervous system process what happened so you’re not stuck reliving it. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia specialize in trauma-informed care and understand how narcissistic abuse affects your sense of self. ## **When Should You Reach Out?** You don’t need to hit a breaking point first. If these examples of narcissistic behavior resonate, that’s reason enough. Consider reaching out if: - You frequently doubt your own memory or perception - You feel responsible for someone else’s emotions - You’ve lost touch with what you want - You keep repeating relationship patterns that hurt you Healing from these experiences is possible. It starts with having someone in your corner who sees what you’ve been through. Contact Therapy for Women in Philadelphia (or virtually in 42 states) to schedule a session with a therapist who gets it. [Get started here!](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Abuse, childhood trauma, Narcissism, Narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic relationships, Trauma therapy --- ### [Is Everyone a Narcissist? Here is How to Tell](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/15/is-everyone-a-narcissist-the-answer-may-surprise-you/) **Published:** January 15, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** These days, it seems like everyone’s throwing around the word “narcissist.” You see it all over TikTok, Instagram, and relationship advice columns. Friends label their exes as narcissists, and social media tells us narcissists are lurking around every corner. But let’s take a breath and ask: is everyone a narcissist? Let’s break this down in a way that actually makes sense. ![An asian woman staring at her reflection wondering if her partner is a narcissist. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/front-view-woman-looking-camera-wet-glass-scaled.jpg) ## What is a Narcissist? Think of narcissistic traits like ingredients in a recipe. We all have a dash of these traits, just like most kitchens have salt. Here’s what I mean: Some narcissistic traits are just part of being human. We all want attention sometimes, and that’s okay! It’s normal to feel special occasionally or want recognition for your hard work. Sometimes people act more narcissistic than usual during rough patches. Think about someone going through a tough breakup or dealing with job stress—they might get more self-focused for a while. That’s temporary and usually changes when things get better. But a true narcissist is different. It’s like someone who only cooks with salt and nothing else. Their whole personality centers around these traits. They hurt relationships, ignore others’ feelings, and show harmful patterns that don’t change with time. These people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ## Is Everyone a Narcissist? Let’s be real—it’s easier to point fingers than look in the mirror. When someone hurts us, slapping a label on them can feel good. Social media makes this even more tempting with quick quizzes and “Top 10 Signs” lists. But people are more complicated than that. ## The Surprising Truth About Narcissistic Traits Here’s something interesting: some narcissistic traits can actually help us when we use them right. A splash of self-confidence might help you: - Stand up for yourself at work - Try something scary but exciting - Believe in your dreams - Tell someone “no” when you need to The key is balance – using these traits like seasoning, not the whole meal. ## What Really Matters Instead of playing amateur detective and trying to diagnose everyone, ask yourself: - Does this relationship make me feel good or bad? - What kind of treatment am I okay with? - Where do I need to draw lines? - How can I focus on making my life better? ## When You’re Dealing With Real Narcissistic Behavior When someone treats you in narcissistic ways, you need to know some simple truths. If you feel lost and confused in your relationship most of the time, that’s not normal—it’s a red flag. Trust your gut when it tells you something feels off, even if others try to tell you you’re wrong. Many people start to doubt themselves when dealing with narcissistic behavior, but feeling shaken up makes perfect sense when someone plays mind games with you. You don’t have to handle this alone! ## Frequently Asked Questions About Narcissistic Behavior **Does having narcissistic traits make someone a narcissist?** No! Just like feeling sad sometimes doesn’t mean you have depression, having some narcissistic traits doesn’t make you a narcissist. Everyone has these traits to some degree. What matters is the pattern, intensity, and impact on relationships. **How can I tell if someone is just going through a hard time or is truly narcissistic?** Look for patterns over time. Someone going through a rough patch might act self-centered temporarily but can still show empathy and care for others. True narcissistic behavior shows up consistently across different situations and rarely changes, even when circumstances improve. **Why do people seem more narcissistic on social media?** Social media rewards attention-seeking behavior and self-promotion. Many people put their best face forward online, which can look narcissistic. But how someone acts on Instagram isn’t always how they behave in real life. If you find yourself constantly asking, “is everyone a narcissist?” it may be time to look inward. **Can narcissists change?** While everyone can grow and learn, true narcissistic patterns are deeply rooted and rarely change without serious professional help and a strong personal desire to change. Focus on what you can control—your own choices and boundaries. **What should I do if I think I’m in a relationship with a narcissist?** Start by taking care of yourself. Trust your feelings, set boundaries, and reach out for support. A mental health professional can help you navigate the situation and make choices that are right for you. [Dr. Ramani ](https://doctor-ramani.com/)is also a great resource. ## The Bottom Line No, not everyone is a narcissist. We all have moments of being self-centered, but that’s different from true narcissistic behavior. Instead of rushing to label others, focus on what matters – building healthy relationships and taking care of yourself. Remember this: you don’t need to diagnose someone to know they’re hurting you. Trust yourself, set boundaries, and [reach out for help if you need it.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) Your well-being matters more than any label. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Abuse, Narcissism, Narcissist, trauma --- ### [The Love Bombing Cycle: What It Really Looks Like](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/05/19/the-love-bombing-cycle-what-it-really-looks-like/) **Published:** May 19, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** It started with the most intense connection you’ve ever felt. They texted constantly, made grand plans for the future, said everything you’d been waiting to hear. Then, without warning, the warmth disappeared. You felt confused, wondering what you did wrong and desperate to get back to how things were. That push and pull? It’s called the love bombing cycle, and it’s one of the most common patterns in narcissistic relationships. ## What Is the Love Bombing Cycle? The love bombing cycle is a pattern of manipulation commonly used in narcissistic relationships. It starts with an overwhelming rush of affection, attention, and devotion that feels like a dream come true. But that intensity has a purpose: to create emotional dependency so the other person can maintain control. This isn’t just someone being really into you. The difference between genuine affection and love bombing is speed and motive. Healthy relationships build trust gradually. The love bombing cycle skips straight to intensity because the goal isn’t connection. It’s control. Not every person who love bombs has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Sometimes it comes from anxious attachment or emotional immaturity. But when the pattern repeats in a predictable cycle of highs and lows, that’s a red flag worth paying attention to. If you’re wondering whether what you experienced fits a bigger pattern, our post on [examples of narcissistic behavior](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/10/examples-of-narcissistic-behavior-that-actually-feel-like-love/) breaks down what these dynamics look like day to day. ![woman and man in narcissistic love bombing cycle ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/love-city-scaled.jpg) ## What Are the Four Stages of the Love Bombing Cycle **Stage 1: Love bombing.** This is the “too good to be true” phase. Constant texts, extravagant compliments, premature “I love you”s, mirroring your interests so perfectly it feels like fate. They may push for commitment fast or talk about your future together within weeks. It’s intoxicating, and that’s the point. **Stage 2: Devaluation.** Once you’re emotionally attached, the criticism starts. It might be subtle at first: a dismissive comment about your friends, a joke that stings, withdrawal of affection with no explanation. Then it escalates. [Gaslighting ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/15/what-is-narcissistic-gaslighting-how-to-spot-this-manipulation/)(“I never said that”), blame-shifting (“you’re overreacting”), and the silent treatment become tools to keep you off balance and questioning yourself. **Stage 3: Discard.** The relationship ends abruptly. They might ghost, replace you seemingly overnight, or simply cut off all warmth. This stage feels devastating because you’re still operating on the emotional high of stage one, wondering how someone who loved you so intensely could disappear. **Stage 4: Hoovering.** Just when you start to move on, they come back. New promises, apologies, renewed affection, sometimes guilt-tripping or jealousy tactics to pull you in. This is hoovering (named after the vacuum, because it sucks you back in), and it restarts the cycle from the top. ## Is It Love Bombing or Just a Strong Start? Some relationships genuinely begin with fireworks, so how do you tell the difference? Watch what happens when you slow things down. Someone who’s genuinely excited about you can handle “let’s take this slower” without punishing you for it. A love bomber can’t. Pushback gets met with sulking, guilt trips, or a sudden chill, because the intensity was never about you. It was about securing attachment quickly, before you could see them clearly. Consistency is the other tell. Real affection stays fairly steady as a relationship deepens. Love bombing runs hot and cold, and the cold spells arrive right when you’ve started to relax. ## Why Love Bombing Feels So Real Here’s what makes this so hard to recognize from the inside: the bond you feel isn’t fake. It’s just not built on what you think it is. Psychologists call it trauma bonding, and it works through a principle called intermittent reinforcement. The same mechanism that makes slot machines addictive makes this cycle so difficult to leave. When affection is unpredictable (sometimes you get the warmth, sometimes you get coldness), your brain fixates on earning the reward. You keep pulling the lever. [Research by Dutton and Painter](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/emotional-attachments-abusive-relationships-test-traumatic-bonding) found that intermittent abuse and power imbalances in relationships predicted ongoing emotional attachment to a partner even after the relationship ended. In other words, the cycle itself is what creates the bond, not the love. That’s why leaving feels so disorienting. You’re not just mourning the relationship. You’re going through a withdrawal from a pattern your nervous system learned to depend on. ## How Therapy Helps You Break Free Breaking the love bombing cycle requires more than willpower. It requires rewiring the patterns that keep you stuck, and that’s something a trained therapist can help with. **[EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr)** is particularly effective for healing trauma bonds. It helps your brain reprocess the painful memories so they lose their emotional grip. You don’t forget what happened, but you stop reliving it every time something triggers a memory of the relationship. **[ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/)** helps you rebuild trust in your own instincts. After narcissistic manipulation, most women doubt their judgment completely. ACT teaches you to notice manipulative patterns without getting pulled into them, and to make choices based on your values instead of your fear of being alone. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia have specific experience with narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, and the emotional aftermath of these relationships. We also have an in-house psychiatrist for medication support if anxiety or depression is making it hard to function. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Is love bombing always narcissistic?** Not always. It can come from anxious attachment or genuine (if misguided) enthusiasm. The distinguishing factor is whether devaluation and control follow. A pattern of highs and lows is the warning sign. **Can you love bomb without knowing it?** Yes. Some people repeat what they learned in their own families without realizing the impact. That doesn’t excuse it, but it does mean that not every love bomber is deliberately manipulative. **Why do I keep going back?** Trauma bonding. The intermittent reinforcement built into the love bombing cycle conditions your brain to crave the good moments, and the longer you stay in the pattern, the stronger that conditioning becomes. This isn’t weakness. It’s neuroscience. If you recognize yourself in any of this, whether you’re still in the relationship or trying to heal after one, you don’t have to sort through it alone. Therapy for Women in Philadelphia offers virtual therapy across 43 states with therapists who understand exactly what you’ve been through. Contact us today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Abuse, emotional abuse, love bombing, Narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic relationships --- ### [Important Things to Know about Hangxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/06/02/what-is-hangxiety-important-things-to-know/) **Published:** June 2, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You know the feeling. You wake up after a night out and before you even open your eyes, the hangxiety is already there. A wave of dread sitting heavy on your chest. Your heart races. Your mind starts scrolling through everything you said last night, except the footage is blurry and the soundtrack is pure panic. You grab your phone and start the damage assessment. *Did I text anyone something embarrassing? Why does everyone seem fine while I feel like the world is ending?* That feeling isn’t just a hangover. And if you’ve been brushing it off as one, it might be time to pay closer attention. ## What Is Hangxiety? Hangxiety is the intense anxiety, dread, or panic that shows up during or after a hangover. It can range from a vague sense that something is wrong to a full spiral of shame, worry, and racing thoughts. Some people feel a pit in their stomach. Others describe it as impending doom, even when they can’t pinpoint why. And you’re far from alone in this. Research suggests that roughly 12% to 22% of people experience significant anxiety after drinking, with higher rates among women and people who already struggle with [social anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/). ![Woman feeling hangxiety after drinking alcohol the night before ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/full-shot-teenage-girl-hangover-ritual-scaled.jpg) ## The Brain Science Behind the Dread Here’s what most people don’t realize: alcohol doesn’t actually relax you. It sedates you. There’s a big difference. When you drink, alcohol boosts GABA (the neurotransmitter that calms your nervous system) and suppresses glutamate (the one that keeps you alert). That’s why a drink or two makes you feel looser and less on edge. Your brain’s alarm system temporarily turns down. But your brain hates being out of balance. While alcohol is pushing the “calm” button, your brain pushes back by producing cortisol and adrenaline to compensate. Then the alcohol wears off. Your brain’s counter-response doesn’t. So you’re left flooded with stress hormones, running low on GABA, with glutamate firing on all cylinders. Your nervous system goes into overdrive. That’s hangxiety, plain and simple. This happens every time you drink enough to feel it, whether you’re physically dependent on alcohol or not. It’s not a moral failing. It’s biology. And if you’ve noticed it getting worse as you’ve gotten older, that’s real too. Your body metabolizes alcohol more slowly over time, which means a longer window of chemical imbalance and a more intense rebound. ## What Hangxiety Is Really Trying to Tell You Most advice on hangxiety treats it like a problem to manage: drink water, eat something, take a walk. Those things help with the physical symptoms, but they completely skip the real question this experience keeps asking you. Would your life be better if you drank less? I’m not asking you to label yourself or quit anything. I’m asking you to get curious. Because in my clinical experience, this is one of the earliest and most consistent signals that your relationship with alcohol deserves a closer look. Think about it this way: if you had a friend who left you feeling anxious, ashamed, and full of dread every time you hung out, you’d probably reconsider that friendship. Your body is telling you the same thing. The fun of drinking is real, but so is the cost. And if the cost includes spending the next day in a spiral of anxiety and self-doubt, that’s worth taking seriously. ## What You Can Do (Beyond Drinking Water) If hangxiety shows up for you regularly, here are some honest experiments worth trying. **Track the pattern.** Notice when the anxiety hits and how long it lasts. Is it every time you drink, or only past a certain number? Tracking without judgment gives you real data instead of guesswork. **Ask what you’re really anxious about.** Once the physical symptoms settle, get specific. Sometimes it’s something you said or did. But often it’s more diffuse: a general sense that you weren’t fully in control. **Get honest about why you’re drinking.** Are you drinking because you genuinely enjoy it, or because you need it to feel comfortable? There’s no wrong answer here, but the honest one matters. **Try a break.** You don’t have to commit to anything permanent. Even a few weeks without alcohol can be incredibly revealing about what drinking is actually doing for you and to you. I cover the science behind how alcohol affects your anxiety, sleep, and mental health in my book, [*Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating a Life You Love*.](https://a.co/d/084dtCRt) ## Hangxiety FAQs **How long does hangxiety last?** For most people, hangxiety peaks as your blood alcohol level returns to zero and eases within 24 hours. Heavier drinking nights can stretch it longer. If the anxiety lingers for several days, or if it shows up even when you haven’t been drinking, that’s worth discussing with a therapist or doctor rather than waiting it out. **Why do I get hangxiety when my friends seem fine?** Baseline anxiety matters here. People who already run anxious, or who lean shy in social settings, tend to get hit harder by the rebound. Body size, how much you slept, whether you ate, and how quickly you metabolize alcohol all play a part too. Your friends may also be experiencing it and simply not talking about it. **Is hangxiety a sign of a drinking problem?** Not on its own. Plenty of people get hangxiety occasionally without having a substance use disorder. That said, frequent or worsening hangxiety is one of the earlier signals worth paying attention to, especially if it’s changing how you feel about yourself. You don’t need a diagnosis to decide the pattern isn’t working for you. **How do you get rid of hangxiety in the moment?** Hydration, food, sleep, and gentle movement all help your body recover. Slow breathing can settle the nervous system while the chemical rebound runs its course. But the honest answer is that time does most of the work. If you find yourself managing hangxiety often, the more useful question is what would change if you drank less. ## When to Reach Out You don’t need a diagnosis or a label to decide the morning-after dread isn’t worth it anymore. You just need to be willing to look at the pattern honestly. If hangxiety is a regular part of your life, it’s worth bringing into a conversation with a therapist. Not because something is wrong with you, but because you deserve to understand what’s driving it and to feel better. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia and South Jersey (and [more states online](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/online-therapy/)), we have therapists trained in my approach who [specialize in helping women](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/substance-use) explore their relationship with alcohol and substance use. We can help whether you’re [sober curious](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/03/29/how-to-cut-back-on-drinking-youve-tried-everything/) or just tired of the Sunday morning spiral. [Contact us ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started)today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** Hangxiety, not drinking tonight, Sober Curious, sobriety, substance use disorders --- ### [The Truth About Emotional Numbness & How To Feel Again](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/14/the-truth-about-emotional-numbness-why-you-feel-nothing/) **Published:** July 14, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You used to cry at movies. Now you can’t. You used to laugh with your friends and feel it all the way down, but lately you’re there, nodding at the right moments, with something inside you gone flat. Emotional numbness can feel like you’re watching your own life through a pane of glass, and you can’t remember how to reach through. ![Woman sitting on her bed feeling emotional numbness ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/lifestyle-people-living-boho-interiors-scaled.jpg) ### What Is Emotional Numbness? Emotional numbness involves a sense of being disconnected from your feelings. It can show up as flatness, emptiness, or the unsettling experience of not feeling much of anything at all. Some people describe it as “going through the motions.” Others say it feels like their emotions have been turned down to zero. Numbness doesn’t stand alone as a diagnosis. Usually it points to something deeper: depression, trauma, chronic stress, burnout, grief, or sometimes a medication side effect. Whatever’s underneath, emotional numbness is often your nervous system’s way of saying, “I can’t handle any more right now.” ## What Does Emotional Numbness Actually Feel Like? For some women, it’s subtle. You’re still functioning. You’re showing up for work, your kids, your partner. But inside, it feels like someone dimmed all the lights. Here are some common ways it shows up: - You cry less than you used to, or you can’t cry at all when you want to - Good news barely registers, even when you know you should feel happy - The people you love feel far away, like you’re behind glass - You find yourself saying “I’m fine” on autopilot because explaining feels too hard - Hobbies that used to light you up now feel pointless or boring - Physical sensations feel muted, like food has less taste or music has less pull - You catch yourself wondering when you stopped feeling like yourself If you’re reading this and recognizing something, please know it’s more common than most people realize. And it’s treatable. ## What Causes You to Shut Down This Way? Emotional numbness usually has a reason, even if you can’t name it. A few of the most common roots: **Depression.** According to the [National Institute of Mental Health](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression), about 21 million U.S. adults had a major depressive episode in 2021. While most people picture [depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/depression-therapy/) as sadness, it often shows up as numbness instead, especially in women who feel pressure to stay high-functioning through it. **Trauma and PTSD.** When the nervous system has been flooded with too much too fast, one of its protective strategies is to shut feeling down. This gets called emotional blunting, and it’s especially common after relational trauma, abuse, or chronic stress. **Chronic stress and burnout.** Months or years of running on empty can flatten your emotional range. Your body prioritizes survival over feeling, and feeling doesn’t just come back on its own. **Medication effects.** Some antidepressants can blunt emotions as a side effect. In [one large survey published in the Journal of Affective Disorders](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032717308303), 46% of people taking antidepressants reported emotional blunting. If your numbness started after beginning a medication, that’s worth [a conversation with your prescriber](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/11/20/can-a-therapist-prescribe-medication-what-you-need-to-know/). Often a dose adjustment or a different medication makes a real difference. **Grief.** Numbness is a well-documented phase of grief, and it can persist longer than people expect. If you lost someone and feel nothing, that blankness still counts as grieving. Your heart may simply need more time and support to thaw. ## Why Is Numbness Often a Protective Response? Here’s something worth sitting with. Numbness often functions as protection, built by a system that had good reasons to dim itself down. If you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t safe to express, going numb might have kept you out of trouble. If you experienced trauma, it may have helped you survive the unsurvivable. Your body learned to shut down for good reason. The harder part is that it doesn’t always remember how to come back online on its own. Your body plays a part here, too. When stress overwhelms your capacity to fight or flee, your nervous system can drop into a shutdown state, sometimes called the freeze response. If you’re still keeping up with daily life while feeling nothing inside, you may be experiencing [functional freeze](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/09/09/what-is-functional-freeze-and-proven-methods-to-overcome-it/). Your heart rate slows, your emotions mute, and your brain conserves energy for survival. That response saved you once. Now it’s running in the background of a life that’s actually safe, and it needs help learning the danger has passed. ## How Do You Stop Feeling Emotionally Numb? The honest answer? You can’t force your way out. Willing yourself to feel usually backfires, because pressure reads as more threat to an already overwhelmed system. What works instead is gradual, and it starts small. First, practice naming what’s happening in your body. Tight chest. Heavy shoulders. A knot in your stomach. Physical sensations are the doorway back to emotions, and noticing them without judgment rebuilds the connection. Second, let feelings arrive in small doses. Watch a movie that used to move you. Listen to a song from a meaningful time in your life. You’re not trying to break the dam. You’re opening the tap a little at a time. Third, reduce the numbing agents where you can. Endless scrolling, overworking, drinking, and staying constantly busy all keep the volume turned down. You don’t have to quit everything at once, but noticing your patterns matters. Finally, tell one safe person the truth about how flat things feel. Numbness grows in isolation, and saying it out loud, even once, starts to loosen its grip. You might be surprised how many people say, “Me too.” For many women, though, self-help only goes so far. When emotional numbness is rooted in trauma or depression, working with a therapist is usually what actually brings feeling back. ## How Does Therapy Help You Feel Again? At our practice, we treat emotional numbness as meaningful information about what your system has been carrying. Our clinicians use evidence-based approaches tailored to what’s actually driving the shutdown underneath. [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) is often powerful for emotional numbness rooted in trauma. By helping your brain reprocess the experiences that taught it to shut down, EMDR can bring your emotional range back online without forcing you to relive every detail. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) works well when you’ve been avoiding emotions because they feel overwhelming. ACT teaches you to stay with what you feel, even the uncomfortable parts, without getting swept away. For some women, [medication support](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/medication-management/) also plays a role, especially when depression sits at the root. Our in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner coordinate closely with your therapist, so nothing falls through the cracks. And if a current medication is contributing to the numbness, they can evaluate that directly rather than leaving you to guess. ## Emotional Numbness FAQs **How long does emotional numbness last?** It depends on the cause. Numbness tied to acute grief or a stressful event often lifts within weeks as your system settles. When it’s connected to depression, trauma, or years of chronic stress, it tends to persist until the underlying issue gets treated. The good news is that it responds well to therapy, and most people notice feeling returning gradually rather than all at once. **Is emotional numbness a symptom of depression or anxiety?** Both are possible. Depression often shows up as flatness and emptiness rather than sadness, which is why many people don’t recognize it. Anxiety can cause numbness too, usually after long stretches of running on high alert wear the nervous system down into shutdown. A therapist can help you figure out which is driving yours. **Why do I feel numb in my relationship?** Sometimes numbness shows up selectively, and your partner feels far away while the rest of life seems fine. This can reflect attachment wounds, unresolved conflict, or a nervous system that learned closeness wasn’t safe. It doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is wrong. It usually means something needs attention, either individually or together. **Can you feel emotionally numb and still function normally?** Yes, and this is exactly why so many high-functioning women go years without help. You can perform well at work, care for your family, and hold everything together while feeling completely disconnected inside. Functioning isn’t the same as feeling, and you deserve support even when everything looks fine from the outside. ## You Don’t Have to Stay Behind the Glass Contact Therapy for Women Center today to get started with a therapist who can help you feel again. **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** depression, grief, postpartum, postpartum depression, trauma --- ### [The Truth About Postpartum Rage No One Talks About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/01/the-truth-about-postpartum-rage-no-one-talks-about/) **Published:** July 1, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You snapped at your partner over how the dishwasher was loaded. You felt your jaw clench when the baby wouldn’t stop crying. Maybe you slammed a cabinet, threw a bottle across the room, or screamed into a pillow when no one was looking, then immediately spiraled into shame. Postpartum rage is real, and almost no one warned you it could feel like this. ## What Is Postpartum Rage? Postpartum rage is sudden, intense anger or irritability that shows up in the weeks and months after giving birth. It isn’t a formal diagnosis on its own. Instead, it’s an experience many new mothers have, often as part of a larger postpartum mood or anxiety disorder. The anger can feel completely out of character. Maybe you’ve never been someone who yells. Maybe you’d describe yourself as patient, even-keeled, the calm one in your family. So when rage starts erupting over something small, it can leave you wondering who you’ve become. You’re not a bad mother. Your body, your hormones, your sleep, and your nervous system are all under enormous strain right now, and rage is one of the ways that overload comes out. ![new mom vacuuming, holding baby experiencing postpartum rage ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/full-shot-mother-using-vacuum-cleaner-scaled.jpg) ## What Are the Hidden Signs of This Anger? Postpartum anger doesn’t always look like yelling or throwing things. Sometimes it’s quieter, but just as exhausting. You might recognize yourself in some of these: - You feel a sudden, white-hot reaction to small annoyances - The sound of your partner walking too loudly makes your skin crawl - Tears of frustration come faster than they ever did before - You’re snapping at people you love, then drowning in guilt - Small parenting tasks can spark intense irritation - Sleep deprivation flips you from tired to furious in seconds - Shame about how angry you feel makes you isolate from others If you’re nodding along, please know this isn’t a character defect. It’s a signal that something deeper needs attention. ### How Does Postpartum Rage Connect to Postpartum Depression? Most people picture postpartum depression as sadness. Crying jags. Numbness. A heavy emptiness that won’t lift. And those experiences are absolutely part of it. But anger and irritability are also recognized symptoms, and they often go undiagnosed because they don’t match the picture we have of a “depressed” new mom. According to the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/index.html), about 1 in 8 women in the U.S. report symptoms of postpartum depression. The actual number is likely higher because so many cases go undetected, especially when the symptoms show up as rage instead of tears. Postpartum rage can also be tied to postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, or hormonal shifts that are still settling. Sometimes it’s a standalone experience. Other times, it’s the most visible piece of a bigger mental health picture. A trained clinician can help you sort out what’s actually going on underneath. ## What Causes the Anger After Birth? There’s rarely one clean answer. Usually, several things pile up at once. Sleep deprivation alone changes how the brain regulates emotion. Add to that the dramatic hormonal drop after birth, the physical recovery, the relentless demands of a newborn, and the cultural expectation that you should be glowing through all of it, and irritability starts to make a lot more sense. For some women, [unprocessed birth trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/12/how-to-heal-birth-trauma-a-path-to-recovery/) fuels the anger. For others, it’s a feeling of losing your identity, your autonomy, or your sense of being a person separate from your baby. Resentment toward a partner who isn’t pulling equal weight can also boil over as rage. And if you have a history of anxiety or depression, the postpartum period tends to amplify all of it. ## Frequently Asked Questions about Postpartum Rage **How long does postpartum rage last?** For some, the anger eases as sleep and hormones stabilize over the first few months. For others, it sticks around longer or intensifies, especially when it’s tied to postpartum depression or anxiety. If it’s been weeks and it isn’t letting up, that’s a good reason to reach out rather than wait it out. **How do I calm postpartum rage in the moment?** When you feel it surging, the goal is to create a little space before you react. Stepping away for even 30 seconds, taking a few slow breaths, or putting the baby somewhere safe and walking into another room can interrupt the spike. These are stopgaps, though. Therapy helps you widen that gap between trigger and reaction so it happens more automatically. **Can I have postpartum rage without postpartum depression?** Yes. Sometimes rage is a standalone experience driven by sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the sheer intensity of new motherhood. Other times it’s the most visible piece of postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. A clinician can help you figure out which it is. **Will postpartum rage affect my baby?** Occasional frustration doesn’t damage your child, so try not to pile guilt on top of guilt. What helps most is getting support so the rage becomes less frequent and less intense. Kids do best with a parent who’s caring for their own mental health, and reaching out is part of that. ## How Therapy Can Help You Find Calm Again At our practice, we treat that anger as the meaningful signal it is. Therapy gives you space to understand what’s underneath the anger and tools to respond differently when it surges. We can help you identify the triggers and thought patterns fueling sudden rage, then practice new responses. Over time, the gap between trigger and reaction widens, and you stop feeling like a passenger in your own emotional life. For mothers carrying birth trauma or unresolved earlier trauma, [EMDR](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy) can help the brain reprocess those experiences so they stop driving the anger from underneath. Many women feel a real shift within several sessions. When the anger is part of a larger postpartum depression or anxiety picture, medication can also be a powerful piece of the puzzle. [Our in-house psychiatric prescribers ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/)work hand-in-hand with our therapists, so you won’t have to coordinate care across multiple offices. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia includes clinicians with advanced training in [perinatal mental health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/). Contact us today to get support from a clinician who understands postpartum rage. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Motherhood, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, Postpartum rage --- ### [Hormones and Anxiety: The Truth No One Explains](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/05/how-hormone-imbalances-cause-anxiety-in-women-how-to-cope/) **Published:** September 5, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** You feel fine for two weeks. Then, like clockwork, the dread creeps in: the racing thoughts, the snapping at people you love, the 3 a.m. wake-ups. If your anxiety seems to follow a pattern your calendar could predict, your hormones may be part of the story. Here’s how hormones and anxiety are connected, and what you can actually do about it. ![white woman with long dark hair in blue shirt wondering about hormones and anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/plus-sized-person-smiling-681x1024.jpg) ## How Are Hormones and Anxiety Connected? Yes, hormones can cause anxiety, and they can crank up anxiety you already have. Hormones are chemical messengers that regulate nearly everything in your body, including the brain systems that control mood and your stress response. When certain hormones shift or drop quickly, the brain can read that change as a threat, and anxiety is the alarm that goes off. Here’s a finding that surprises most of our clients: research on severe premenstrual mood symptoms shows the problem usually isn’t abnormal hormone levels. [Studies suggest](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032724000764) some brains are simply more sensitive to normal hormonal fluctuations. In other words, your labs can come back “fine” and your suffering can still be completely hormonal, and completely real. ## Which Hormones Affect Anxiety Most? A few key players show up again and again. ### Estrogen and Anxiety When estrogen dips suddenly, before your period, after giving birth, and during perimenopause, it affects serotonin, the brain chemical that steadies mood. Rapid drops can leave you feeling on edge, and both low estrogen and sharp fluctuations have been linked to anxiety symptoms. It’s the timing of the change, more than the level itself, that tends to stir things up. ### Progesterone Progesterone supports sleep and calms the nervous system, which is why it’s sometimes called the body’s natural chill pill. When it runs low, typically in the second half of your cycle or during perimenopause, anxiety and insomnia often move in together. ### Cortisol and Stress Cortisol is your main stress hormone. Chronic stress keeps its production stuck in overdrive, which disrupts sleep, suppresses recovery, and feeds anxiety in a loop that’s hard to exit on your own. Over time, that loop can dysregulate the rest of your hormonal picture too. ### Thyroid Hormones An overactive thyroid can mimic anxiety almost perfectly: racing heart, restlessness, trouble sleeping. An underactive one, which is more common in women, brings exhaustion and mood changes instead. This is why bloodwork matters; a simple thyroid panel can rule this piece in or out. ## Is It Hormones or an Anxiety Disorder? Honestly, it’s often both, and they feed each other. But there are clues worth tracking. Hormonal anxiety tends to follow a pattern: it clusters in the week or two before your period, flares after having a baby, or arrives in your 40s alongside changing cycles and night sweats. Anxiety that’s constant regardless of where you are in your cycle points more toward an anxiety disorder, especially if it’s been with you since long before any hormonal shift. The most useful tool here is boring: track it. Two or three months of noting your anxiety alongside your cycle shows the pattern, or rules it out. And if your premenstrual symptoms are severe enough to disrupt work and relationships, that has a name: premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which [affects roughly 3% to 8% of women](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11075635/) and responds well to treatment. Either way, you don’t have to diagnose yourself. That’s what assessment is for. ## Hormones and Anxiety Through Every Life Stage Hormonal anxiety wears different outfits at different ages. In your cycling years, it often shows up premenstrually, as PMS or its more severe cousin PMDD. After having a baby, the steep hormone drop combined with sleep deprivation can trigger [postpartum anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/12/postpartum-anxiety-cause-risk-factors-how-to-deal/), which deserves its own attention and treatment. And in your 40s and early 50s, fluctuating estrogen can produce anxiety that feels like it came out of nowhere, sometimes years before your periods actually stop. We wrote more about that in our post on perimenopause and anxiety. Knowing your stage matters because it shapes the treatment conversation, including which providers belong on your team. ## What Does Treatment Look Like? Start with the good news: hormonal anxiety is very treatable, usually with some combination of the following. Therapy helps regardless of the cause. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we use CBT and ACT to change your relationship with anxious thoughts and calm a nervous system stuck on high alert. When anxiety follows your cycle, therapy also helps you plan for the hard weeks instead of being blindsided by them. Medical treatment matters too, and this is where many women get bounced between providers. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is a legitimate, evidence-supported option for perimenopausal symptoms including anxiety, and hormonal treatments can help with PMDD. Prescribing those is a conversation for your OB-GYN or a menopause specialist. What our team adds: our in-house [psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether psychiatric medication like an SSRI makes sense. Lifestyle still counts, even though it’s not the whole answer. Regular movement, steady sleep, and managing chronic stress all help regulate cortisol, and nutrients like omega-3s and magnesium support hormone health. Think of these as the floor, not the ceiling. ## FAQ About Hormones and Anxiety **Does hormonal anxiety go away on its own?** Sometimes, when the trigger passes, like anxiety that lifts after postpartum hormones settle. But cyclical anxiety tends to keep cycling until it’s treated, and perimenopausal anxiety can stretch across years. If it’s disrupting your life now, treating it now beats waiting it out. **Can birth control cause anxiety?** For some women, yes; hormonal contraception changes your hormonal landscape, and some people are sensitive to that shift. For others, birth control actually stabilizes mood, and certain pills are used to treat PMDD. If your anxiety started or spiked after a new contraceptive, that’s worth raising with your prescriber. **What tests can check my hormones?** Bloodwork can check thyroid function, and that’s genuinely worth doing since thyroid problems mimic anxiety. But for cyclical anxiety, single-day hormone tests often look normal because the issue is sensitivity to fluctuations, not levels. Symptom tracking across two or three cycles usually reveals more than a lab panel. **Should I see a doctor or a therapist first?** Either door works, and ideally the answer is both. A medical workup rules out thyroid issues and opens the HRT conversation if you’re perimenopausal, while a therapist treats the anxiety itself. Because our practice includes psychiatric providers, we can help you sort out which pieces belong where. **Categories:** Anxiety, Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, hormonal imbalance, hormones, women's hormones --- ### [The Truth About How to Heal Birth Trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/12/how-to-heal-birth-trauma-a-path-to-recovery/) **Published:** February 12, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You keep replaying it. The moment things changed, the faces, the sounds, the feeling that your body or your birth plan betrayed you. Maybe people keep saying “at least the baby is healthy!” And you nod, because they’re right, and somehow that makes it worse. If your birth still follows you around months later, you may be carrying birth trauma. As a therapist who treats it, and mom who lived it, I want to tell you what actually helps. ![mother with baby attempting to heal after birth trauma ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/side-view-mother-with-baby-home-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Birth Trauma? Birth trauma is the lasting emotional impact of a childbirth experience that felt frightening, out of control, or overwhelming. Here’s the part that matters most: it’s defined by how the birth felt to you, not by what’s in your medical chart. An emergency C-section, a scary complication, a NICU stay, feeling dismissed or unheard in the delivery room, all of these can be traumatic, and so can a birth that looked “normal” on paper. It’s also common. Research suggests [nearly one in three women describe their childbirth as traumatic](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7807917/), and about 4% develop postpartum PTSD. There are higher rates among women who had complications or babies in intensive care. So if you’ve been telling yourself you don’t have a right to feel this way because everyone survived, please hear this: your experience counts. Trauma isn’t a competition, and yours doesn’t need anyone’s permission to be real. ## When Birth Trauma Happened to Me I don’t just know this professionally. During my delivery, I developed HELLP syndrome, a serious pregnancy complication, and my daughter spent her first stretch of life in the NICU. The birth I had planned disappeared, and what replaced it was machines, monitors, and a version of early motherhood I never pictured: visiting my baby instead of holding her and [not meeting her for the first 2 days of her life.](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nuance-needed/id1769274006?i=1000777677741) For a while, my mind kept pulling me back there. And then I did the thing I now spend my days helping other women do: I got treatment, including EMDR, and it worked. The memories didn’t disappear, but they stopped ambushing me. They became something that happened, instead of something still happening. That’s the entire reason this post exists. ## What Are the Signs of Birth Trauma? Birth trauma doesn’t always announce itself. Watch for: - Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories of the birth - Avoiding reminders, like driving past the hospital, hearing birth stories, or looking at newborn photos - Feeling on edge, jumpy, or unable to relax, especially around anything medical - Anger or grief about how the birth went, even when others call it a success - Feeling detached from your baby, your partner, or yourself - Anxiety or dread about future pregnancies Some of these overlap with other postpartum struggles, which is why getting assessed matters. If your symptoms lean more toward constant worry than reliving the event, our post on [postpartum anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/12/postpartum-anxiety-cause-risk-factors-how-to-deal/) breaks down that difference. ![The author of this article in the NICU with her daughter, dealing with birth trauma ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/IMG_3548-755x1024.jpeg)The author in the NICU ## How Does EMDR Help You Heal? [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the most effective treatments for birth trauma, and it’s the one that helped me. Here’s how it works: traumatic memories get stored differently than ordinary ones. They stay raw and present, which is why a smell or a sound can drop you right back into the delivery room. EMDR helps your brain finally file the memory as past. In sessions, your therapist guides you through recalling pieces of the experience while using bilateral stimulation, usually eye movements or tapping. It sounds strange, and it works; the research behind it is extensive. Two things my clients are always relieved to hear, and that I was relieved to experience myself: you won’t have to retell your story over and over, and you stay in control the whole time. Many women notice a real shift within a handful of sessions. The birth becomes something you remember rather than something you re-live. ## What Else Helps? EMDR isn’t the only path. Trauma-focused therapy more broadly helps you process grief about the birth you didn’t get, which is its own real loss. Partners can carry birth trauma too; watching someone you love in danger is traumatic, and partners deserve support, not just a supporting role. And if you’re a NICU parent, the trauma often extends past the birth itself into those weeks of beeping monitors and hard goodbyes at the end of visiting hours. Therapy can hold all of it. Sometimes symptoms like panic, insomnia, or depression need more support than therapy alone provides. Because we have an in-house [psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/), medication is a conversation you can have within the same team, including honest guidance about breastfeeding compatibility. Here’s a hopeful stat to hold onto: in one longitudinal study, [about three-quarters of women who experienced a traumatic birth recovered](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02646838.2017.1386874) rather than developing lasting PTSD, and treatment makes recovery far more likely. Healing is the expected outcome, not the exception. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Can I have birth trauma if my baby is completely healthy?** Yes. Birth trauma is about what you went through, not the outcome. Fear, helplessness, feeling unheard, or losing control during delivery can be traumatic even when everyone leaves the hospital healthy. A good outcome and a hard experience can both be true. **Will I have to relive my birth in therapy?** Not the way you’re afraid of. You’ll never be forced to recount every detail, and EMDR specifically doesn’t require repeated retelling. You and your therapist decide the pace together, and you can stop at any point. Feeling in control during treatment is part of the treatment. **How soon after birth can I start therapy?** Whenever you’re ready, and earlier is genuinely fine. Some women start within weeks; others come in years later, sometimes when a second pregnancy stirs everything up. There’s no expiration date on [healing birth trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy/), and no “too soon” either. **Does birth trauma affect future pregnancies?** It can. Untreated birth trauma sometimes fuels intense fear of giving birth again, and for some women it contributes to [tokophobia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/06/16/the-truth-about-tokophobia-therapy-and-the-fear-of-childbirth/), a severe fear of childbirth. The encouraging part: processing the first birth often transforms how the next pregnancy feels. ## When Should You Reach Out? If your birth still intrudes on your days, your sleep, or your bond with your baby, that’s reason enough. You don’t need a PTSD diagnosis to deserve support, and you don’t have to wait until you’re planning another pregnancy to deal with the last one. I know from both sides of the therapy room that this gets better. Contact Therapy for Women in Philadelphia today to schedule a session with a therapist who specializes in birth trauma, through our [perinatal mental health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/) team. **Categories:** Therapy for Women, Trauma **Tags:** birth trauma, EMDR, Motherhood, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, PTSD, trauma --- ### [Postpartum Anxiety: Cause, Risk Factors & How to Deal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/12/postpartum-anxiety-cause-risk-factors-how-to-deal/) **Published:** October 12, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Everyone warned you about the exhaustion. However, nobody warned you about this: lying awake while the baby sleeps, running through everything that could go wrong. Checking the crib again, even though you checked five minutes ago. If your mind won’t stop racing since your baby arrived, you might be dealing with postpartum anxiety. It is far more common than most new moms realize. ![new mother holding her infant struggling with postpartum anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Screen-Shot-2024-09-01-at-10.51.41-PM.png) ## What Is Postpartum Anxiety? Postpartum anxiety is excessive, persistent worry that shows up after having a baby and doesn’t respond to reassurance. It goes beyond the normal alertness of new parenthood. Your brain gets stuck in threat-detection mode, scanning for danger even when everything is fine. It’s also strikingly common and strikingly underdiagnosed. Research suggests [as many as 1 in 5 postpartum women](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8040026/) experience anxiety symptoms significant enough to need support, yet most are never screened for it. Postpartum depression gets the headlines. Anxiety often gets missed, partly because worried moms look like devoted moms from the outside. One more thing worth saying up front: postpartum anxiety says nothing about your love for your baby or your ability to parent. It’s a treatable condition, not a character flaw. ## What Are the Signs of Postpartum Anxiety? Some signs hide in plain sight because they masquerade as good parenting. Here’s what we see most often: - Racing thoughts you can’t turn off, especially at night - Checking on the baby constantly, even when you know they’re fine - An inability to sleep when the baby sleeps because your mind won’t quiet down - Physical symptoms like a pounding heart, nausea, dizziness, or feeling unable to take a full breath - Dread that something terrible is about to happen, without a clear reason - Avoiding things that feel risky, like driving with the baby or letting anyone else hold them - Needing constant reassurance that the baby is healthy and you’re doing things right Some women also experience postpartum panic attacks, a form of postpartum anxiety. Additionally, these include sudden waves of intense fear with a racing heart and shortness of breath. They can feel like a medical emergency. Moreover, many moms have scary intrusive thoughts about harm coming to their baby. If those thoughts feel disturbing and unwanted, that’s actually a sign they don’t reflect your desires. We wrote more about this in our post on postpartum intrusive thoughts. ## Postpartum Anxiety vs Postpartum Depression: What’s the Difference? People use these terms interchangeably, but they describe different experiences. Postpartum depression tends to pull you down: sadness, numbness, emptiness, losing interest in things you loved, feeling disconnected from your baby. Postpartum anxiety winds you up: worry, restlessness, a mind that won’t shut off, a body stuck on high alert. Here’s the complicated part, though. They frequently show up together, and anxiety is sometimes the louder symptom of an underlying depression. That’s one reason getting assessed by someone trained in perinatal mental health matters so much. You don’t need to diagnose yourself before reaching out. You just need to notice that something feels off. ## When Does Postpartum Anxiety Start, and How Long Does It Last? Postpartum anxiety usually begins within the first few weeks after birth, though it can start during pregnancy or emerge months later, sometimes triggered by weaning, returning to work, or your baby hitting a new stage. Technically, the perinatal window extends through your baby’s first year. How long it lasts depends mostly on whether it gets treated. However, without support, postpartum anxiety can grind on for months or quietly evolve into chronic anxiety. With treatment, most women improve significantly, often within a few months. Nevertheless, in the thick of it, your brain will tell you this is just who you are now. It isn’t. ## What Causes It? There’s no single culprit. However, the hormonal drop after delivery is steep and fast, postpartum anxiety for some women, destabilizing mood and stress tolerance. Sleep deprivation pours fuel on that fire, because an exhausted brain becomes an anxious brain. And then of course there is the psychological weight of suddenly being responsible for keeping a tiny human alive. Certain factors raise the risk: a personal or family history of anxiety or depression, postpartum anxiety with a previous baby, a traumatic birth or pregnancy complications, a baby with health challenges, major life stress, and limited support at home. If you had a difficult delivery, our post on [healing from birth trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/12/how-to-heal-birth-trauma-a-path-to-recovery/) covers that piece in more depth. Knowing your risk factors helps catch symptoms early, especially in future pregnancies. ## What Does Treatment Look Like? The encouraging news: postpartum anxiety responds well to treatment, and treatment doesn’t mean years on a couch rehashing your childhood. Therapy comes first for most women. At Therapy for Women, our [perinatal mental health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/perinatal-mental-health/) therapists use approaches like CBT, DBT, ACT that target what’s happening right now: the racing thoughts, the checking, the dread. You learn to notice anxious thoughts without obeying them, and to gradually reclaim the things anxiety has taken, like sleep, or letting your partner do a feeding. Several of our clinicians have advanced training through Postpartum Support International, so you won’t have to explain why you’re anxious about a baby who is, by all accounts, perfectly healthy. They already get it. Sometimes therapy alone isn’t enough, and that’s okay. Medication can genuinely help, and many options are compatible with breastfeeding. Because we have an in-house [psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/), you can have that conversation with a prescriber who works down the hall from your therapist. They’ll walk through the actual risks and benefits with you, including what the research says about your specific medication and nursing, so you can make an informed decision instead of a fear-based one. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Is it postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD?** They’re related, and they can overlap. Postpartum anxiety centers on worry: what if the baby gets sick, what if I mess this up. Postpartum OCD involves intrusive, unwanted thoughts or images that feel deeply disturbing, plus rituals or avoidance meant to neutralize them. Both are treatable, and a perinatal specialist can tell the difference. Either way, scary thoughts don’t mean you’re dangerous. **Can I take anxiety medication while breastfeeding?** Often, yes. Several medications are considered compatible with breastfeeding, and the decision weighs the real risks of untreated anxiety against the small, well-studied risks of medication. This is exactly the conversation to have with a psychiatric provider who knows the perinatal research, rather than deciding alone at 3 a.m. **Will postpartum anxiety go away on its own?** Sometimes mild symptoms ease as sleep improves and life stabilizes. But moderate to severe postpartum anxiety usually doesn’t resolve by white-knuckling it, and waiting often means months of unnecessary suffering. If it’s interfering with your sleep, your relationships, or your ability to enjoy your baby, that’s reason enough to get support now. **Can partners get postpartum anxiety?** Yes. Fathers and non-birthing partners can develop postpartum anxiety and depression too, especially when the birthing parent is struggling. Partner mental health matters for the whole family, and treatment works just as well. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need to hit a crisis point to deserve help. If the worry is stealing your sleep, shrinking your world, or making the newborn stage feel like something to survive rather than experience, it’s time. And if you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to your doctor or a crisis line right away. Asking for help isn’t failing at motherhood. It’s often the first genuinely restful decision a new mom makes. Contact Therapy for Women Center today to schedule a session with a perinatal specialist who understands exactly what you’re going through. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** matrescence, Motherhood, perinatal, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, therapy for women --- ### [What is Functional Freeze? And Proven Methods to Overcome It](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/09/09/what-is-functional-freeze-and-proven-methods-to-overcome-it/) **Published:** September 9, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Are you crushing your work presentations and managing your schedule with ease, yet feeling completely disconnected from yourself? Do you navigate rush hour like a pro but freeze when deciding what to order at your favorite restaurant? If this sounds familiar, you might be wondering what is functional freeze. It’s a state where you maintain your “high-functioning” lifestyle while feeling emotionally numb inside. Understanding what is functional freeze is the first step toward feeling more connected and alive again. ![woman wondering what is functional freeze as she stares into space on a chair](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/side-view-worried-woman-sitting-indoors-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Functional Freeze? Functional freeze is a mental state where you continue handling daily responsibilities—answering emails, attending meetings, showing up for friends—while feeling emotionally disconnected or numb. Unlike complete shutdown, functional freeze operates like survival mode where you function on autopilot. This response stems from how your nervous system processes stress. When your brain perceives ongoing danger or overwhelming stress—like juggling a demanding career, family responsibilities, or navigating difficult relationships—it activates protective mechanisms. Since fighting or fleeing isn’t always possible, your nervous system chooses freeze mode instead. To be clear, this is not a diagnosis. ## Why Does Your Nervous System Choose Freeze Mode? Your nervous system scans the world around you all day, asking one question: safe or not safe? When it senses stress with no way out, it may switch on the dorsal vagal complex. That’s the branch in charge of freeze responses. This isn’t a character flaw. Your body is trying to protect you from overwhelm the only way it knows how. Think of it like a circuit breaker. When too much current runs through the system for too long, something flips to prevent a total burnout. Your brain essentially decides: “We can’t fight this situation, and we can’t run away from it, so let’s get through it with minimal emotional investment.” Helpful in a crisis. Exhausting as a lifestyle. ## Functional Freeze vs. Burnout vs. Depression In functional freeze, the core feeling is disconnection. You can still do everything, but you feel numb while doing it. Motivation runs on obligation instead of desire, and emotions feel muted rather than painful. Burnout, by contrast, is loud. You feel the exhaustion, plus frustration and resentment. It’s usually tied to work or caregiving that has asked too much of you for too long. Depression is a clinical mood disorder. Along with numbness, it often brings sadness, hopelessness, and guilt, and daily life gets truly hard. But someone in a freeze state keeps performing. Someone in a depressive episode often can’t. These states overlap, so, a stuck freeze response can slide into burnout or depression over time. ## What Is Functional Freeze Triggered By in High-Achieving Women? Several things commonly push driven women into a freeze state, and the numbers back this up. According to the [American Psychological Association’s Stress in America s](https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/stress-in-america/2025)urvey, 27% of women rate their stress an 8 or higher out of 10, and 68% said they could have used more emotional support in the past year. **High-pressure work environments**. Women often face additional pressure to prove themselves while managing workplace dynamics that feel unsafe for expressing vulnerability. **[Perfectionist tendencies](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nuance-needed/id1769274006?i=1000691326749)** create internal pressure to maintain high standards across all life areas. Many women push through stress signals rather than acknowledging their need for support. **Unresolved trauma responses** can leave your nervous system in a heightened state of alert. Past experiences where expressing emotions felt unsafe may train your system to default to functional freeze during stress. **Overwhelming modern demands** from constant connectivity, social media pressure, and juggling multiple responsibilities can push anyone into survival mode. ## Functional Freeze Symptoms Functional freeze symptoms often fly under the radar because you’re still accomplishing The signs often fly under the radar because you’re still getting things done. They tend to show up in four areas. **Emotional signs.** You feel numb or flat, disconnected from experiences that once brought joy. Walking through Rittenhouse Square or visiting the Art Museum feels automatic rather than pleasurable. Even food tastes bland and forgettable. **Mental signs.** Brain fog settles in, and decisions become surprisingly hard. Choosing what to wear or where to eat feels overwhelming, while bigger life decisions feel impossible. You might overthink endlessly without ever acting. **Physical signs.** You’re exhausted despite good sleep and healthy habits. Tight muscles, shallow breathing, and gut issues are common, because a body stuck in freeze feels it everywhere. **Behavioral signs.** You run on autopilot most days. Busyness becomes a hiding place, creativity quietly disappears, and you can’t remember the last time you truly wanted something. A rough day of indecision doesn’t mean you’re frozen. The pattern over weeks and months is what tells the story. ## How Do You Get Out of Functional Freeze? Recovery happens slowly, through gentle steps your body can trust. **1. Start with somatic awareness.** Simple practices like noticing your breath or feeling your feet on the ground reconnect you with your body’s signals. So, even one to three minutes a day helps. **2. Add gentle movement.** Walking along the Schuylkill River Trail, stretching, or doing yoga helps your body settle. Rhythmic, easy movement signals safety. Intensity isn’t the goal, so don’t turn this into another performance. **3. Reconnect through creativity.** Art, music, or writing engages different parts of your brain and helps suppressed emotions surface safely. Many women find creative expression is where feeling first returns. **4. Give yourself permission to want something.** A specific meal, a lazy Saturday, a career change. Wanting is a sign of thawing, because desire needs a body that believes it’s safe to have needs again. **5. Shrink the stress you can control.** Fewer back-to-back commitments, saying no more often, and boundaries that protect your energy all matter. Your freeze response formed because stress never let up. Recovery means giving it somewhere to let up. ## What Doesn’t Help? Pushing harder. Productivity hacks, strict morning routines, and “just think positive” advice all fail for the same reason: this isn’t a mindset problem. It’s a body state, so willpower can’t override it. Shaming yourself for feeling unmotivated adds threat to a system that already feels unsafe, which deepens the freeze. ## Professional Support in Philadelphia While self-help strategies provide valuable support, working with a trauma-informed therapist can accelerate your healing process. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we understand how functional freeze uniquely affects women and offer specialized approaches. **[EMDR therapy](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy)** helps because it allows you to process underlying trauma that may contribute to functional freeze responses. Through this evidence-based approach, your nervous system can complete interrupted stress responses. [**Somatic therapy**](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/somatic-therapy) focuses on reconnecting you with your body’s wisdom and signals. Through gentle awareness practices, you can learn to recognize and respond to your needs before reaching overwhelm. **[DBT s](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/dbt-therapy/)[kills](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/dbt-therapy)** provide practical tools for managing intense emotions and building distress tolerance. These skills help you navigate challenging situations without defaulting to freeze mode. Because functional freeze so often travels with chronic anxiety, our [anxiety therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/)and trauma teams work together on cases like these. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Can I have functional freeze if I don’t have trauma?** Yes, functional freeze can develop from ongoing stress, overwhelm, or perfectionist tendencies without necessarily involving trauma. Modern life pressures alone can trigger this response in sensitive nervous systems. **What is functional freeze versus fawning?** Functional freeze involves emotional disconnection while maintaining productivity, whereas fawning focuses on people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict. Fawning is more externally focused on others’ reactions, while functional freeze is more about internal shutdown. **How long does functional freeze last?** Functional freeze duration varies greatly depending on individual circumstances and whether you receive support. But without intervention, it can persist for months or years. However, with proper therapy and self-care practices, many women begin noticing improvements within weeks to a few months of starting treatment. **How can I support someone who’s stuck in freeze?** Offer easy company, like a walk or quiet time together, and be patient. If possible, see if you can help in a concrete way or take something off their plate. ## \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Ready to move from surviving to thriving? Our team of trauma and anxiety therapists specialize in helping Philadelphia, Main Line and South Jersey women reconnect with themselves and build more fulfilling lives. [**Book your appointment today**](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) and take the first step toward feeling more present, connected, and alive in your own life. **Categories:** Anxiety, Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, burnout, depression, freeze, PTSD, self care, trauma --- ### [Can a Therapist Prescribe Medication? What you need to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/11/20/can-a-therapist-prescribe-medication-what-you-need-to-know/) **Published:** November 20, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** When you’re seeking mental health support, there’s a lot to consider. Is therapy right for me? Will I seek support from therapy *and* medication? If so, can a therapist prescribe medication? The answer is no—most therapists cannot prescribe medication. But understanding who can prescribe and how different providers such as therapists and psychiatrists work together will help you get the care you need going forward. ![A female therapist sitting in a chair who cannot prescribe medication unless she is a psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/front-view-woman-posing-chair-scaled.jpg) ## Can a Therapist Prescribe Medication? Understanding the Roles Most therapists cannot prescribe medication. Their training focuses on counseling, not medical treatment. Licensed professional counselors (LPCs), licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs), and licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs) provide talk therapy. They help you work through emotional challenges and develop coping strategies. But prescribing medication isn’t part of their job. Here’s why: it’s actually illegal for therapists to prescribe medication. State laws control who can write prescriptions for [psychiatric medications](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22702-psychiatrist). Traditional therapists don’t have the medical credentials required. Their names won’t appear in any databases of legal prescribers. Even if they wanted to help you get medication, the system prevents it. So, who can prescribe medication? Psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse practitioners. Psychiatrists are medical doctors with mental health training. Psychiatric nurse practitioners (PMHNPs) are advanced practice nurses with graduate psychiatric education. Both can evaluate your symptoms, diagnose conditions, and prescribe medication when it helps your recovery. Learn more about the difference between the two [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/02/psychiatric-nurse-practitioner-or-psychiatrist-which-is-better/). ## When Can a Therapist Prescribe Medication? The Rare Exception Only one situation allows your therapist to prescribe medication: when that person is a psychiatrist who *also* provides psychotherapy. This happens, but it’s fairly rare in modern mental health care. Most psychiatrists focus on diagnostic evaluations and medication management rather than ongoing talk therapy. Their appointments tend to be shorter. They center on monitoring symptoms and adjusting prescriptions. This makes sense given the high demand for psychiatric services. Your therapist should be a master’s- or doctoral-level counselor. While it may seem confusing at first, this separation of roles actually benefits you. Your therapist can dedicate your full session to processing emotions and developing coping skills. Your prescriber focuses on the medical aspects of your care. Neither has to rush through their work. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we built our practice around this model. Our therapists work alongside our [psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) and psychiatric nurse practitioner. You get expert care in both areas. ## Can a Psychologist Prescribe Medication? This question trips people up the most, and the answer is more interesting than you’d expect. In most of the country, no. Psychologists hold doctoral degrees (a PhD or PsyD) and complete extensive training in therapy, assessment, and psychological testing. Their education doesn’t include medical school, so prescribing sits outside their scope of practice almost everywhere. There’s an exception, though. Seven states currently allow psychologists to prescribe certain psychiatric medications after they complete additional postdoctoral training in psychopharmacology: New Mexico, Louisiana, Illinois, Iowa, Idaho, Colorado, and Utah, according to the [American Psychological Association](https://www.apaservices.org/advocacy/issues/prescriptive-authority/prescription-chronology). These are called prescribing psychologists, and the requirements are steep, including a master’s degree in clinical psychopharmacology and supervised prescribing hours. Our psychologists are not on that list. So if you’re seeing a psychologist here, medication will come from a psychiatrist, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, or your primary care doctor, just like it would with any other therapist. ## Who Can Prescribe Medication for Mental Health Treatment? When you need medication, you have several options. Psychiatrists remain the most well-known prescribers. They complete medical school plus four years of psychiatric residency training. This education covers brain chemistry, medication interactions, and psychiatric disorders. It qualifies them to safely prescribe medication. Psychiatric nurse practitioners have become increasingly important. They complete graduate programs with intensive study of psychiatric medications, diagnostics, and treatment planning. Many people find that psychiatric nurse practitioners offer the same quality care as psychiatrists. They often have shorter wait times for appointments. Your primary care physician can also prescribe medication for common conditions like depression and anxiety. Physician assistants can prescribe as well, typically in collaboration with a supervising doctor. However, for complex cases, seeing a mental health specialist usually provides better outcomes. When initial medications don’t work well, a specialist knows how to adjust your treatment. ## How Therapists and Prescribers Work Together Therapists cannot prescribe medication, but they play a crucial role in your medication treatment. When your therapist notices your symptoms might benefit from medication, they’ll refer you to a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner. This referral comes from their professional judgment. Your therapist observes your progress week after week. They notice patterns that help inform medication decisions. They might tell your prescriber that your anxiety spikes before work presentations. Or that your energy improved since starting medication. This information helps the professional who can prescribe medication make better decisions. The psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner monitors your physical response to medications. Then, they adjust dosages as needed. They watch for side effects and ensure what you’re taking actually helps. This approach addresses both biological and psychological factors. Research shows that combining medication with therapy often produces better results than either alone. Medication can reduce symptoms enough that you engage more fully in therapy. You can practice new coping skills more easily. ## What to Expect When You Need Medication If your therapist suggests you might benefit from medication, don’t worry. This doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. Sometimes medication helps therapy work better. It reduces symptoms that make it hard to focus or practice new skills. Your therapist will provide a referral to someone who can prescribe medication. During your first appointment, expect detailed questions about your symptoms. The psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner will ask about your medical history. They’ll want to know how mental health affects your daily life. They’ll also ask about any medications you’re currently taking. Some can interact with psychiatric drugs. This evaluation might take an hour or more. Prescribers need the full picture before recommending medication. After the assessment, they’ll discuss whether medication might help you. Then, they’ll explain how it works and outline side effects to watch for. Most psychiatric medications take several weeks to reach full effectiveness. Throughout treatment, you’ll continue seeing both your therapist and your prescriber. This team approach ensures nothing falls through the cracks. You’re supported from all angles. ## FAQ **When can a therapist prescribe medication legally?** A therapist can only prescribe medication when they’re also a psychiatrist providing dual services. This is rare—most mental health care separates therapy and prescribing roles for better specialized treatment. **Can a therapist prescribe medication in Pennsylvania?** No, therapists cannot prescribe medication in Pennsylvania or New Jersey. State law restricts prescribing authority to psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and physicians with proper medical training and licensing. **Can an LCSW or LPC prescribe medication?** No. Licensed clinical social workers and licensed professional counselors cannot prescribe medication in any state, no matter how experienced they are. Their licenses cover therapy and assessment, so medication always comes from a medical prescriber working alongside them. **What happens if my therapist thinks I need medication?** Your therapist will refer you to a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner who can prescribe medication. They’ll continue your therapy while the prescriber manages your medications, creating coordinated care. **Is it safe to take medication a therapist recommends?** Never take psychiatric medication without a legal prescription from a qualified prescriber. Only psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse practitioners have the training to safely prescribe these medications and monitor their effects. --- If you’re looking for the best psychiatrists in Philadelphia, we’d love to tell you more about our approach. Our team of dedicated [psychiatric providers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) are as down to earth and easy to talk to as they are knowledgeable. **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** anxiety, depression, medication, medication management, OCD, Philadelphia psychiatrist, psych meds, Psych NP, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Psychiatrist, PTSD --- ### [What is Body Dysmorphia and How to Heal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/what-is-body-dysmorphia-and-how-you-can-overcome-it/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You checked the mirror before you left the house. Then the car window. Then your phone camera, just to be sure. If you spend hours thinking about a flaw in your appearance that other people swear they can’t see, you might be wondering: do I have body dysmorphia? Here’s how to tell the difference between everyday insecurity and something that deserves real support. ![photo of woman with face hiding behind a mirror to symbolize the experience of body dysmorphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721515405625.jpg) ## What Is Body Dysmorphia? Body dysmorphia, clinically called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), is a mental health condition where you become preoccupied with a perceived flaw in your appearance. The flaw is usually minor or invisible to everyone else. To you, though, it feels glaring. Unlike terms you may have seen on social media, this one is a real diagnosis in the DSM-5. And it’s far more common than people realize. According to the [International OCD Foundation, BDD affects 1.7% to 2.9% of the population](https://bdd.iocdf.org/professionals/prevalence/), which means 5 to 10 million Americans are living with it. That makes it roughly as common as OCD and more common than anorexia. BDD can latch onto almost any body part, though skin, hair, nose, and stomach are the most common targets. One subtype, muscle dysmorphia, works in the opposite direction: instead of fixating on a flaw, you become convinced your body is too small or not muscular enough, no matter how much you train. Muscle dysmorphia affects men more often than women, and it frequently hides behind what looks like dedication to the gym. ## 7 Signs You Might Have Body Dysmorphia Everyone has days when they don’t love how they look. These signs go further: 1. You check mirrors constantly, or you avoid them completely 2. You compare your appearance to other people’s many times a day 3. A large portion of your time is spent camouflaging the flaw with makeup, clothing, angles, or lighting 4. Reassurance about how you look never sticks 5. You avoid photos, video calls, or social events because of your appearance 6. Thoughts about the flaw eat up an hour or more of your day 7. You’re convinced other people notice and judge the flaw, even when they say they don’t One of these alone doesn’t mean much. But if several feel painfully familiar, keep reading. ## Is It Body Dysmorphia or Normal Insecurity? This is the question we hear most often: it comes down to three things: time, distress, and interference. Normal insecurity is a passing thought. You notice something you don’t love, feel a twinge, and move on with your day. Body dysmorphia doesn’t let you move on. The thoughts are intrusive, they take up hours, and the distress is intense. Most importantly, it starts interfering with your life: you’re late because of mirror rituals, you skip the party, you can’t focus at work because your brain keeps pulling you back to the flaw. If your appearance concerns are stealing time and shrinking your life, that’s past the line of normal. ## Body Dysmorphia vs Body Dysphoria: What’s the Difference? People mix up these two terms constantly, and the confusion makes sense because they sound nearly identical. They describe very different experiences, though. Body dysmorphia centers on a perceived flaw. Your brain fixates on your nose, your skin, or your hairline and insists something is wrong with it, even when nobody else sees a problem. Body dysphoria, on the other hand, describes deep discomfort or distress about your body itself. The term shows up most often in conversations about gender dysphoria, where the distress comes from a mismatch between your gender identity and your physical body. Here’s a shorthand that helps: dysmorphia distorts what you see, while dysphoria hurts because of what’s actually there. Someone with BDD perceives a flaw that doesn’t exist. Someone with gender dysphoria sees their body accurately and feels pain because it doesn’t match who they are. The two can also overlap, and treatment looks different for each, which is why getting the right name for your experience matters so much. If you’re unsure which one fits, a therapist can help you sort it out without judgment. ## Why Does This Happen? There’s no single cause. Genetics play a role, and so do experiences like being teased or bullied about your appearance growing up. Perfectionism and anxiety make fertile ground for it. Meanwhile, filters and curated social media feeds hand your brain an endless supply of comparisons. Here’s the part worth underlining: BDD is not vanity. It’s closer to OCD than to self-absorption, with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors like checking and camouflaging. People with body dysmorphia often feel deep shame about their symptoms, which is exactly why so many suffer quietly for years before telling anyone. ## What Does Treatment Look Like? The good news is that BDD responds well to treatment. At our practice, we use CBT tailored specifically for BDD, including exposure and response prevention (ERP). Instead of arguing with the thoughts, ERP helps you gradually face feared situations, like leaving the house without concealer, while resisting the checking and camouflaging rituals that keep the cycle spinning. Over time, the thoughts lose their grip. Medication can help too. SSRIs have strong evidence for reducing BDD symptoms. Because we have an [in-house psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, your therapist and prescriber can actually talk to each other, so your care stays coordinated instead of scattered. Since BDD frequently overlaps with disordered eating, our team also offers specialized eating disorder therapy and [nutritional counseling ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/)when body image struggles and food struggles show up together. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Can body dysmorphia go away on its own?** Usually not. Without treatment, BDD tends to stick around or get worse, and many people spend a decade struggling before they ask for help. The encouraging flip side is that it responds well to CBT with ERP, and often to medication. Waiting rarely helps, but treatment genuinely does. **Is body dysmorphia the same as an eating disorder?** No, though they’re close cousins and often show up together. BDD centers on a perceived flaw in your appearance, like your skin, nose, or hair, while eating disorders center on weight, food, and body size. When appearance concerns are mainly about weight and shape, an eating disorder may be the better explanation, which is why a careful assessment matters. **How can I help someone who has body dysmorphia?** Skip the reassurance loop. Telling them “you look fine” feels kind, but it feeds the cycle, since the relief never lasts. Instead, validate the distress without debating the flaw: “I can see this is really painful for you.” Then gently encourage professional support, and be patient, because shame keeps many people quiet about BDD for years. **How long does treatment take?** Many people notice meaningful change within a few months of consistent CBT and ERP, though timelines vary with severity and how long the symptoms have been running the show. If medication is part of the plan, SSRIs typically take several weeks to reach full effect. Progress builds steadily rather than overnight. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need a formal diagnosis to deserve help. Consider talking to a therapist if appearance thoughts take up an hour or more of your day, if you’re avoiding things you used to enjoy, or if reassurance from people you trust never quiets the worry for long. Asking “do I have body dysmorphia?” is usually a sign that something real is going on. You don’t have to figure it out alone, and you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through more years of mirror battles. Contact us today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anorexia, body dysmorphia, bulimia, eating disorders, orthorexia --- ### [The 20 OCD Subtypes and How to Recover](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/21/the-18-ocd-subtypes-and-how-to-recover/) **Published:** October 21, 2024 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** You replay conversations from years ago, hunting for proof you did something terrible. Maybe you avoid knives, balconies, or driving at night because of thoughts you’d never say out loud. And you’ve probably wondered whether any of this counts as OCD, since you’re not washing your hands a hundred times a day. Here’s what we want you to know: there are at least 20 recognized OCD subtypes, and most of them look nothing like the stereotype. That gap between what OCD actually is and what people think it is has real costs. OCD affects about 1 in 40 adults in the United States, according to the [International OCD Foundation](https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/who-gets-ocd/), yet it takes the average person over 7 years to get the right diagnosis. Research groups OCD symptoms into four major dimensions: 1. **contamination and cleaning** 2. **symmetry and ordering** 3. **taboo thoughts** 4. **harm and checking** Within those four, clinicians see at least 20 distinct themes. Learning about the different types of OCD can help you recognize your symptoms, feel less alone, and find the right treatment faster. ![red haired woman wearing headphones thinking about OCD subtypes](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/young-woman-wearing-headphones-home-scaled.jpg) ## Are the Subtypes Separate Diagnoses? No, and this matters more than it sounds. OCD is a single diagnosis, not 20 different disorders. OCD subtypes simply describe the theme your obsessions and compulsions latch onto. The cycle underneath is the same, and so is the treatment. That’s good news, because it means recovery doesn’t depend on which subtype you have. ## The Most Common Types of OCD These first six are the most familiar types of OCD, though even these get missed when the compulsions happen quietly. 1. **Checking OCD**: Repetitive checking behaviors driven by fear that something terrible will happen otherwise. Example: pulling the locked door handle six times, then driving back home to check it again, even though you remember locking it. 2. **Contamination OCD**: Intense fears of germs, dirt, or illness, with compulsions like excessive washing, cleaning, or avoidance. Example: washing your hands until they crack and bleed after touching a doorknob, or refusing to sit in public spaces. 3. **Counting OCD**: Compulsively counting objects or performing actions a set number of times, often tied to a belief that certain numbers are safe. Example: needing to tap the light switch four times because stopping at three feels like inviting disaster. 4. **“Just Right” OCD**: An overwhelming need for things to feel exactly right, repeating actions until a sense of completeness arrives. Example: rewriting the same email opening nine times because the wording feels wrong in a way you can’t explain. 5. **Symmetry and Ordering OCD**: A need for balance, evenness, or exact arrangement, with distress when things feel misaligned. Example: rearranging the pantry for an hour because one label faces the wrong way, and feeling genuine dread until it’s fixed. 6. [**Harm OCD**:](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/03/harm-ocd-postpartum/) Intrusive thoughts about harming yourself or others, despite having no desire or intent to act. The distress itself is the tell. Example: avoiding cooking dinner because being near knives triggers terrifying “what if” thoughts. ## Less Common Subtypes 7\. **False Memory OCD**: Obsessive doubt about whether your memories are accurate. Example: replaying last night’s party again and again, terrified you said something offensive that nobody else remembers. 8\. **Hoarding OCD**: Difficulty discarding items due to obsessive fears, distinct from hoarding disorder, which became its own diagnosis in the DSM-5. Example: keeping old receipts because throwing them away triggers a fear that something bad will follow. 9.[ **Magical Thinking OCD**](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/10/02/the-exhausting-truth-about-magical-thinking-superstition-ocd/): Believing your thoughts or small actions can cause unrelated events. Example: avoiding the word “accident” all day because saying it feels like it could make one happen to someone you love. 10\. **Relationship OCD (ROCD)**: Persistent, intrusive doubt about your relationship or your feelings for your partner. Example: analyzing whether you felt enough of a spark during dinner, then asking your partner for reassurance for the third time this week. 11\. **Sensorimotor OCD**: Hyperawareness of automatic body processes like breathing, blinking, or swallowing. Example: becoming so fixated on your own blinking that you can’t focus on a conversation, and fearing you’ll notice it forever. 12\. **Existential OCD**: Obsessing over unanswerable questions about reality, existence, or meaning, with compulsive research or rumination. Example: spending hours unable to sleep because “what if nothing is real” loops in your mind and no answer ever satisfies ## Specialized OCD Subtypes These are the types of OCD people feel most ashamed to talk about, and the least likely to bring up with a doctor. So let’s be clear up front: the thoughts in this group are ego-dystonic. That means they clash with everything the person actually values, which is exactly why they cause so much pain. 13\. **Pedophilia OCD (POCD)**: Intrusive, unwanted thoughts about harming children that the person finds horrifying. These thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning they violently clash with the person’s true values. Example: a loving aunt avoiding family gatherings out of fear of her own unwanted thoughts. 14\. **Perinatal OCD**: Obsessions and compulsions that begin during pregnancy, often centered on the baby’s safety. Example: checking the nursery repeatedly and researching rare complications for hours each night. 15\. **Postpartum OCD**: Intrusive thoughts about harm coming to the baby that emerge after childbirth, without any intent. Example: a new mom asking her partner to handle bath time because intrusive images terrify her, even though she’d never act on them. 16\. **Purely Obsessional OCD (“Pure O”)**: Distressing intrusive thoughts where the compulsions happen invisibly, as [mental rituals ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/)like reviewing, praying, or neutralizing. Example: silently repeating a “good” phrase to cancel out a “bad” thought all through a work meeting. 17\. **Real Events OCD**: Obsessing over things that actually happened, inflating their significance and reviewing them for proof you’re a bad person. Example: mentally prosecuting yourself for a rude comment you made in college, fifteen years later. 18\. **[Scrupulosity ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/01/scrupulosity-ocd-break-free-from-religious-and-moral-anxiety/)(Religious or Moral) OCD**: Obsessions about sinning, blasphemy, or being morally corrupt, with compulsions like excessive prayer or confession. Example: repeating a prayer until it feels perfect, because a stray thought during it seemed to cancel it out. 19\. **Sexual Orientation OCD**: Persistent, unwanted doubt about your own sexual orientation, regardless of what that orientation is. Example: compulsively testing your reactions to people and panicking over any ambiguity, even when your attractions have always felt clear. 20\. **Suicidal OCD**: Intrusive thoughts about suicide without any actual desire to die. The thoughts feel invasive and terrifying, not appealing, which is what separates them from suicidal ideation. Example: avoiding balconies because “what if I jumped” flashes through your mind and horrifies you. If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide with intent, please reach out to a mental health professional or crisis line right away, since that deserves immediate support. ## Can You Have More Than One OCD Subtype? Yes, and most people do. OCD is a shapeshifter. It targets whatever matters most to you right now, so themes often shift over time: contamination fears in college, relationship doubts in your twenties, postpartum intrusive thoughts after a baby. Having several OCD subtypes at once doesn’t mean your case is unusual or harder to treat. Neither does watching your OCD change costumes over the years. It means you have OCD, behaving exactly the way OCD behaves. One more clarification, since it confuses so many people: having intrusive thoughts doesn’t automatically mean you have OCD. Everyone has strange, unwanted thoughts sometimes. The difference lies in how much distress they cause and how much of your life the compulsions consume. ## How Do You Recover From OCD? The gold standard treatment for every OCD subtype on this list is [Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy). Our clinical director, Gabrielle Salomone, is a leading expert in OCD treatment and has a hand in training all of our OCD specialists. ERP helps you slowly face the situations your OCD fears while resisting the compulsions that keep the cycle alive. It works for all types of OCD, whether your theme is contamination, scrupulosity, or suicidal intrusive thoughts, because ERP treats the cycle itself, not the costume it wears. **Here’s something many people don’t know:** general talk therapy, and even standard CBT that isn’t tailored for OCD, can sometimes make symptoms worse. Endless reassurance and analysis feed the OCD cycle instead of breaking it. That’s why working with an ERP-trained therapist matters so much. [Medication ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/17/important-things-to-know-about-ocd-medication/)helps many people too, especially SSRIs. Some of our clients do well with ERP alone. Others find that adding medication is what finally makes the exposures feel possible. Because we have an [in-house psychiatrist and](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/17/important-things-to-know-about-ocd-medication/) psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, your prescriber and your therapist can coordinate your care under one roof. You won’t repeat your story to strangers or manage the gap between two offices. If you saw yourself somewhere in this list, that recognition is worth acting on. Our ERP-trained therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia treat every subtype here, including the ones people feel too ashamed to say out loud. Nothing on this list will shock us, and none of it reflects your character. ## Frequently Asked Questions About The Types of OCD **What are the 4 types of OCD?** Research groups OCD symptoms into four major dimensions: contamination and cleaning, symmetry and ordering, taboo or unwanted thoughts, and harm and checking. The 20 OCD subtypes in this article are all themes within those four dimensions, and they respond to the same treatment. **What is the most common OCD subtype?** Contamination and checking themes are the most commonly reported OCD subtypes, which is partly why they became the public stereotype. But “most common” doesn’t mean “most valid.” Taboo themes like harm OCD and POCD are underreported precisely because shame keeps people quiet about them. **Is OCD the same as OCPD?** No. OCD involves unwanted obsessions and compulsions the person wishes they didn’t have. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is a personality style of rigid perfectionism and control that usually feels correct to the person, not distressing. They’re different diagnoses with different treatments, despite the similar names. **Do different OCD subtypes need different treatment?** No, and this surprises people. ERP is the first-line treatment across all subtypes, with SSRIs as an evidence-based addition when needed. What changes between subtypes is the content of the exposures, not the method. That’s why finding an ERP specialist matters more than finding a specialist in your particular theme. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** OCD, OCD subtypes --- ### [The Ultimate Guide to Eldest Daughter Syndrome](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/09/22/the-truth-about-eldest-daughter-syndrome/) **Published:** September 22, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You’re the one who plans the family holidays. You field your mom’s venting calls, remember every birthday, and somehow became the unofficial third parent before you hit middle school. You’re also tired. The kind of tired a nap won’t fix. If that sounds familiar, you might be dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. ## What Is Eldest Daughter Syndrome? eldest daughter syndrome describes a pattern many firstborn women recognize: over-responsibility, perfectionism, and the sense that others’ needs come first. To be clear, it’s not an official diagnosis in the DSM-5. Still, the experience behind it is real, and research backs that up. A[ 15-year UCLA-led study](https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/pregnancy-stress-early-maturation-first-born-daughters) in Psychoneuroendocrinology found firstborn daughters showed earlier adrenal puberty when mothers had high prenatal stress. Researchers think this may prepare firstborn girls to help raise younger siblings. This pattern is sometimes described as eldest daughter syndrome. In short, science suggests firstborn girls often grow up faster. Many of them never had a full childhood. Siri, play Eldest Daughter by Taylor Swift. ![mother with daughter who is struggling with her eldest daughter syndrome ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/pexels-leticia-alvares-1805702-36393879-683x1024.jpg) ## What Are the Signs of Eldest Daughter Syndrome? Every family looks different, but the signs of eldest daughter syndrome show up again and again in our therapy offices. See if any of these land: - You feel responsible for other people’s emotions, even when they were never yours to fix - You struggle to ask for help, because asking feels like failing - Resting makes you anxious or guilty, so you rarely do it - You hold yourself to standards you’d never impose on anyone else - Your siblings call you for advice, money, or crisis management, but rarely ask how you’re doing ## Why Does This Happen? Therapists have a name for the deeper pattern: parentification. When parents are overwhelmed, absent, or struggling, someone has to fill the gap. Usually, that someone is the oldest girl. It makes sense. Kids adapt to what their family needs. Cultural expectations play a role too, since daughters are often raised to caretaker in ways sons simply aren’t. Here’s the part that trips people up. Your parents may have loved you deeply and still leaned on you too hard. Both things can be true at once. Naming the pattern has nothing to do with blame. It helps you finally understand why you’re so tired. ## How Does Eldest Daughter Syndrome Affect You as an Adult? The role follows you out of your childhood home. At work, you become the person who catches everything, and then you quietly burn out. In relationships, eldest daughter syndrome often shows up as over-functioning: you choose partners who need managing, or you feel deeply uncomfortable when someone tries to care for you. Vulnerability can feel almost physically unsafe, because you learned early that being okay was your job. Then there’s the resentment. Many eldest daughters love their families fiercely while also carrying a low simmer of anger they’re ashamed to admit. That mix of love, obligation, and resentment is exhausting to hold alone. Many eldest daughters are also [enmeshed with their families. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/04/07/what-is-enmeshment-the-truth-about-losing-yourself/) ## What Helps You Let Go of the Role? Therapy, honestly. These patterns started in your family system, so they rarely untangle on their own. At our practice, we often use family systems therapy to map out how the role formed and how to step out of it without blowing up your relationships. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps with the guilt, teaching you to notice the “I should be doing more” thoughts without obeying them. Over time, you learn to make choices based on your values instead of your reflexes. For some women, years of over-functioning also come with anxiety or depression that therapy alone doesn’t fully resolve. That’s why we have an in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner who can evaluate whether medication makes sense. Because they work directly with your therapist, nothing falls through the cracks. ## FAQs About Eldest Daughter Syndrome **Is eldest daughter syndrome a real diagnosis?** No, you won’t find it in the DSM-5. It’s a popular name for a real, well-studied family pattern, and therapists treat these habits all the time. The label matters less than what you lived through. **Is eldest daughter syndrome the same as parentification?** They overlap, but they’re not identical. Parentification is the clinical term for any child pushed into a parent’s role. The syndrome describes how that dynamic tends to land on firstborn girls specifically, and how the habits follow them into adult life. **Can younger siblings or sons experience this too?** Yes. Any child can get cast as the family caretaker, especially in single-parent homes or families dealing with illness or addiction. Culture and birth order just make it land on firstborn girls most often. You may also experience [triangulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/24/triangulation-in-relationships/) with other members of your family. **How long does it take to change these patterns?** There’s no fixed timeline, since these habits took decades to build. That said, many women notice real shifts within a few months of therapy, especially around guilt and boundary-setting. Progress tends to snowball once you can see the role clearly. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t have to wait for a breakdown. Consider talking to a therapist about eldest daughter syndrome if you can’t remember the last time you rested without guilt, if resentment toward your family keeps growing, or if you notice yourself over-functioning in every relationship you have. Trust that instinct. It’s usually right. You can reach out early. Most women wish they had. Being the eldest daughter gave you real strengths. You’re capable, perceptive, and people trust you for good reason. Therapy won’t take any of that away. Instead, you finally get to be someone other than the responsible one. And if you fear your family relationships are becoming [toxic,](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/29/how-to-deal-with-toxic-parents-a-guide-for-adult-children/) we can help with that too. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood works with women untangling these family roles every day. [Contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, depression, eldest daughter, family therapy, parentification, trauma --- ### [The Truth About Bulimia Recovery No One Talks About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/09/how-to-recover-from-bulimia-a-comprehensive-guide-to-bulimia-recovery/) **Published:** September 9, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Nobody in your life suspects a thing. You show up to work, you laugh at dinner, you’re the friend everyone calls capable. And you’ve been keeping this secret for so long that the double life feels normal. I know, because I lived it. I’m a therapist, I founded this practice, and I’m in recovery from bulimia myself. So here’s what I want you to know, as both a clinician and someone who’s been where you are: bulimia recovery is possible, even after years of the cycle, and it doesn’t start with willpower. It starts with understanding what the cycle actually is. ![woman on floor trying to get into bulimia recovery ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/woman-with-eating-disorder-crying-scale-683x1024.jpg) ## Why Can’t I Just Stop for bulimia recovery? Because the cycle isn’t a willpower problem. It’s a trap with a design, and it usually works like this. You restrict, whether that’s skipping meals, cutting out food groups, or following strict rules. Restriction puts your body into deprivation, and a deprived body eventually demands food with an urgency that overwhelms almost anyone. That’s the binge, and it isn’t a character failure. It’s biology doing exactly what biology does. Then come the shame and the panic, which drive compensating behaviors, which restart the restriction, which sets up the next binge. Notice where the cycle actually begins. Not with the binge. With the restriction. This is why “just eat normally” and “just have more discipline” fail so completely, and why so many women blame themselves for years. You’ve been trying to fix the wrong end of the loop. Treatment works because it interrupts the deprivation that fuels everything else. ## Is Bulimia Recovery Actually Possible? Yes, and the research here is genuinely hopeful. In a [22-year study from Massachusetts General Hospital](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28002660/), just over two-thirds of women with bulimia recovered, and most of them reached recovery within the first decade. The researchers wrote that their findings challenge the idea that an eating disorder is a life sentence. I was sure I’d be the exception, and I wasn’t. Now I watch the same thing happen in our offices: women convinced recovery works for everyone but them, sitting across from us years later with food occupying a normal-sized corner of their lives. Bulimia recovery isn’t linear, though, and it’s worth saying plainly. Most women have setbacks along the way. A hard week after months of progress doesn’t erase the progress, and it doesn’t mean starting over. It means you’re recovering from a real disorder instead of a bad habit. ## What Does Bulimia Recovery Really Look Like? Early on, bulimia recovery looks like eating regularly again, which sounds simple and feels enormous. With support, your body slowly learns that deprivation is over, and as it does, the binge urges genuinely quiet down. Meanwhile, you and your therapist work on the other half: the emotions the cycle was managing for you, because bingeing and purging are usually doing a job, numbing something, punishing something, or creating a feeling of control. Later, recovery looks quieter. Meals stop being events. You eat something unplanned and your day continues. Somewhere in there, most women notice the [signs of eating disorder recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/02/10-exciting-signs-you-are-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/) sneaking up on them: thinking about other things at dinner, planning a trip without planning the food, getting their concentration back. ## What Helps You Recover from Bulimia? The strongest evidence for bulimia recovery is CBT, adapted specifically for eating disorders. It targets both ends of the cycle at once: the rigid food rules driving restriction, and the thoughts that turn one hard moment into a full relapse. Many of our clients also use DBT skills for the emotional storms that used to trigger the cycle, so feelings become something you can ride out instead of something you have to purge away. Our eating disorder therapists specialize in exactly this work. Food itself needs rebuilding too, and this is where our in-house registered dietitian comes in. Through [nutrition counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) grounded in a non-diet, Health at Every Size approach, she helps you dismantle the restriction side of the cycle without handing you a new set of rules. Because she and your therapist work together, your recovery isn’t split between providers who never compare notes. Medication can help as well. The FDA has approved a specific medication for bulimia, and for some women it takes the edge off the urges enough to make the therapy work possible. Our [in-house psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can evaluate whether that makes sense for you, in coordination with your therapist. One honest note: for many women, weekly outpatient care is the right level of support for bulimia recovery. For some, a higher level of care is the safer starting point, especially when medical complications are involved. Part of our job in your first sessions is assessing that with you honestly, including any medical monitoring you need alongside therapy. ## Frequently Asked Questions **How long does bulimia recovery take?** There’s no single timeline, and honest answers beat neat ones. Many women notice the cycle loosening within months of consistent therapy, while full recovery, where food takes up normal space in your mind, often takes longer. The research shows most women who pursue recovery do get there. **Can I recover from bulimia on my own?** Some people do, but the odds improve dramatically with support, partly because the restriction-binge cycle is nearly impossible to see clearly from inside it. At minimum, please involve a medical provider, since bulimia can cause health complications that need monitoring even when you feel fine. **Does a relapse mean I’ve failed?** No. Setbacks are part of most bulimia recovery stories, and the research reflects that. What matters is what happens next: a relapse met with support usually becomes a chapter, while a relapse met with shame and secrecy tends to become a spiral. Tell your therapist. That’s what they’re there for. **Do I have to be underweight to have bulimia?** No, and this misconception keeps countless women from getting help. Most people with bulimia are not underweight, and no body size disqualifies you from having a real eating disorder or deserving treatment. If the cycle is running your life, that’s the whole criteria that matters. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t have to be “sick enough,” and you don’t have to wait for a crisis. Consider reaching out if the cycle is stealing hours of your week, if secrecy is exhausting you, or if you keep promising yourself this binge was the last one. That promise is one of the loneliest sentences in the world. I made it too, more times than I could count. Reaching out doesn’t mean confessing something shameful. It means telling one safe person the truth. I built this practice to be the kind of safe place I needed back then, and our therapists have heard it all before, without judgment. The cycle thrives in secrecy. Bulimia recovery starts the moment the secret has company. Our team at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood includes eating disorder specialists. We support bulimia recovery with a registered dietitian and psychiatric providers under one roof. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** bulimia, eating disorder recovery, eating disorders --- ### [No, Therapy Isn't Causing Parental Estrangement: Important Things to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/08/19/therapy-isnt-causing-estranged-adult-children/) **Published:** August 19, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** When a recent *New York Times* article suggested that “therapy culture” is driving estrangement between estranged adult children and their parents, many people felt seen – but not necessarily in a good way. The piece implied that estranged adult children have unrealistic expectations of their parents, thanks to therapy speak and psychological awareness. But here’s what that article missed: estranged adult children aren’t cutting contact because therapy made them too demanding. It’s about generations of unaddressed harm finally coming to light. The numbers tell a different story than the “ungrateful generation” narrative. Research shows that [1 in 4 Americans](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10254574/) – roughly 67 million people – are estranged from their families. Among young adults, 26% report estrangement from fathers and 6% from mothers. These aren’t impulsive decisions by spoiled millennials; they’re responses to real relationship breakdowns that often took years to develop. If you’re estranged adult children who have distanced yourself from your parents, you are likely not ungrateful, or brainwashed by therapy culture. You’re responding to real experiences that deserve acknowledgment. ![Two estranged adult children dancing at a party](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/people-having-casual-salsa-dance-themed-get-together-700x1024.jpg) ## Are Estranged Adult Children The Ones With High Expectations? Many estranged adult children hear the same refrain: “Your generation expects too much from parents.” This narrative suggests that therapy has made millennials and Gen Z overly sensitive and demanding. The reality? Most estranged adult children didn’t start with impossible standards. They started with basic human needs: to be heard, understood, and acknowledged when something hurt them. Think about your own story. Did you cut off contact because your parents couldn’t meet some Instagram-worthy ideal of perfect parenting? Or did you distance yourself after repeatedly trying to address genuine concerns, only to be dismissed, blamed, or made to feel crazy for bringing them up? The difference matters enormously. ## Why Don’t Parents Listen When Estranged Adult Children Express Pain? This question gets to the heart of why so many families are struggling right now. When estranged adult children approach their parents about past hurts, they’re often met with responses like: “I did the best I could with what I had.” “You’re being too sensitive.” “I guess I was just a terrible parent then.” “Other kids turned out fine.” These responses, while understandable from a defensive parent’s perspective, shut down conversation entirely. They make the adult children responsible for managing their parent’s emotions while their own pain remains unaddressed. Research reveals an interesting disconnect: in studies of estranged mothers, almost 80% felt that a third party was to blame for the estrangement, while only 18% believed the estrangement was their fault. This suggests that many parents struggle to see their role in relationship breakdowns. What many estranged adult children actually need isn’t a perfect apology or even major changes. They need basic acknowledgment that their experience was real and that their feelings make sense. ## What’s Really Behind the “Accountability Crisis” in Families? The current tensions between generations aren’t really about therapy culture run amok. They’re about what happens when accountability becomes a foreign concept in families. For decades, family dynamics operated on a simple rule: respect your elders, don’t question authority, keep family business private. These weren’t necessarily bad principles, but they created environments where harm could happen without ever being addressed. Now, adult children are finally speaking up. They’re saying, “This happened, and it affected me.” But many parents, raised in systems where accountability wasn’t expected or modeled, don’t know how to respond constructively. The result is that both sides dig in. Parents feel attacked and become defensive. Adult children feel unheard and pull away further. Neither side knows how to break the cycle. ## Does Therapy Actually Make Estranged Adult Children More Selfish or Self-Aware? Critics of “therapy culture” often point to increased focus on individual needs and boundaries as evidence that therapy makes estranged adult children selfish. But there’s a crucial distinction between healthy self-awareness and harmful self-centeredness. Therapy helps estranged adult children understand their experiences and identify patterns that aren’t serving them. When someone realizes their family dynamic involved emotional manipulation or consistent dismissal of their feelings, that’s not manufactured sensitivity – that’s recognition of reality. The goal isn’t to demonize parents or hold them to impossible standards. It’s to create relationships based on mutual respect and genuine connection rather than obligation and fear. ## How Can Estranged Adult Children Move Forward Healthily? If you’re navigating estrangement from your parents, remember that your healing doesn’t depend on their participation. While reconciliation can be beautiful when both parties are willing to do the work, you can’t control your parents’ response to your truth. The good news? Most estrangements don’t last forever. Research shows that [81% of adult children](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/04/healing-pain-estrangement) eventually reconcile with estranged mothers, and 69% reconcile with fathers. However, these reconciliations happen on varying timelines – some last less than six months, while others span decades. What you can control is how you process your experiences and build healthy relationships moving forward. This might involve: - Working through complex feelings about your family in therapy - Learning to set boundaries that protect your wellbeing - Developing secure relationships with chosen family and friends - Understanding how your family patterns might be affecting other areas of your life Interestingly, 80% of people who experience family estrangement report positive outcomes, including greater feelings of freedom and independence. While 68% acknowledge that estrangement carries social stigma, many find that protecting their mental health was worth facing that judgment. Estrangement is often a last resort, not a first choice. Most people who distance themselves from family members have tried repeatedly to address issues directly before deciding that space is necessary for their mental health. ## Finding Support for Your Journey Navigating estrangement from parents brings up complicated feelings – grief, relief, guilt, anger, and sometimes all of them at once. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Working with a therapist who understands family dynamics can help you process your experiences without judgment. You deserve support as you work through the complex emotions that come with protecting your wellbeing, even when it means difficult choices about family relationships. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we understand that family relationships can get complicated, and there are no one size fits all solutions. Whether you’re considering setting boundaries, working toward reconciliation, or simply trying to understand your own patterns, therapy provides the clarity and tools you need to move forward. [Click here ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)to get started. --- ## Frequently Asked Questions **Q: Am I being too harsh by limiting contact with my parents?** A: Only you can determine what level of contact feels safe and healthy for you. Protecting your mental health isn’t harsh – it’s necessary self-care. **Q: Will therapy just make me angrier at my parents?** A: Therapy helps you process emotions healthily, not amplify anger. Many people find clarity and peace through the therapeutic process, regardless of their family relationships. **Q: How do I know if my expectations of my parents are realistic?** A: Basic expectations like acknowledgment of your feelings and respectful communication are reasonable. A therapist can help you sort through what’s realistic and what might need adjusting. **Q: Can estranged families ever reconcile successfully?** A: Yes, when both parties are willing to listen, take accountability, and work toward understanding. However, reconciliation requires effort from everyone involved and isn’t always possible or healthy. **Categories:** Relationships **Tags:** estrangement, parental estrangement --- ### [The Truth About Orthorexia No One Talks About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/27/what-is-orthorexia-and-how-to-recover/) **Published:** August 27, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You know every ingredient in your kitchen. You’ve stopped eating at restaurants because you can’t verify what’s in the food, and lately you’ve been skipping dinners with friends entirely. From the outside, you look like the healthiest person anyone knows. Inside, food is all you think about, and the fear of eating something “wrong” is running your life. That pattern has a name: orthorexia. And here’s the truth about it: an obsession with healthy eating can hurt you just as much as any other eating disorder. ![woman with orthorexia running on a treadmill ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-wendell-stoyer-2149012384-31914336-660x1024.jpg) ## What Is Orthorexia? Orthorexia is a fixation on eating only foods you see as healthy, pure, or clean, to the point where the fixation itself starts to hurt you. The term was coined in 1997. It isn’t yet an official diagnosis in the DSM-5, but in 2022, dozens of eating disorder researchers published a consensus study in Eating and Weight Disorders to define it. Their core finding matches what we see in our offices every week. Caring about health is not the problem. The problem starts when “eating right” becomes a rigid moral code, and breaking a food rule brings guilt, anxiety, or shame. That distinction matters, because so many women with this pattern never suspect anything is wrong. After all, everyone keeps complimenting their discipline. ## Signs of Orthorexia Caring about nutrition is normal. These patterns go further: - Your list of “safe” foods keeps shrinking, while the rules keep multiplying - You feel virtuous when you eat “clean” and guilty or panicky when you don’t - You research food constantly: ingredients, sourcing, labels, additives - You avoid restaurants, parties, or travel because you can’t control the food - Your self-worth rises and falls with how “well” you ate that day - Thinking about food takes up hours, and eating stopped being enjoyable long ago Notice what’s missing from that list: weight. Orthorexia isn’t primarily about thinness, which is exactly why it hides so well. The obsession wears a health costume. ## How Is It Different from Anorexia? The two can look similar from the outside, and they sometimes overlap or shift into each other. The difference lives in the “why.” In anorexia, restriction is driven by fears about weight, shape, and body size. In orthorexia, restriction is driven by the perceived quality and purity of food. One chases thinness; the other chases perfection. In practice, the line gets blurry. Plenty of women start with “clean eating,” slide into obsession, and slowly develop weight fears too. That’s why a careful assessment with an eating disorder specialist matters more than finding the exact right label. Both patterns respond to treatment, and both deserve it. ## Why Wellness Culture Makes It So Hard to Spot Here’s the cruel joke at the center of all this: it’s the one eating disorder our culture actively applauds. Nobody praises a panic attack. But restrictive eating dressed up as “wellness” earns compliments, Instagram engagement, and sometimes an entire identity. Cutting out food groups gets rebranded as a lifestyle. Fear of ingredients gets rebranded as being informed. So the usual warning system fails. Friends admire your discipline, influencers validate your rules, and even doctors may praise your habits without asking what those habits cost you. Meanwhile, diet culture keeps whispering its one true message: you are not okay as you are. When the people around you are cheering for the very behavior that’s shrinking your life, it takes real courage to admit something feels wrong. If part of you suspects it does, trust that part. ## How Do You Recover from Orthorexia? Recovery doesn’t mean abandoning your health. It means taking your worth back from your plate. At our practice, treatment usually works on two fronts at once. In therapy, an [eating disorder specialist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) helps you untangle where the rules came from and what the control protects you from. Then, step by step, you face feared foods without the anxiety spiral. We often use CBT and ACT for this work, since the disorder runs on rigid thinking and moral rules, and those approaches loosen exactly that. Obsessive thinking about food also overlaps with anxiety and OCD. So for some women, medication helps, and our in-house [psychiatric team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) can assess that without sending you to a stranger across town. The second front is nutrition, and this is where our practice differs from most. Our i[n-house registered dietitian](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) works from a non-diet, Health at Every Size approach, helping you rebuild flexibility and trust with food rather than handing you yet another set of rules. Your dietitian and therapist actually coordinate with each other, so your recovery isn’t split between two providers who never talk. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need to hit a dramatic bottom. Consider talking to a specialist if food rules are shrinking your social life, if breaking one triggers real distress, or if you honestly can’t remember the last time you ate something purely because it sounded good. One question cuts through most of the confusion: is your eating serving your life, or is your life serving your eating? Our eating disorder therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood understand how tangled health, control, and self-worth can get, and how much freedom is waiting on the other side. Contact us today to schedule a session. ## Frequently Asked Questions **Is orthorexia an official diagnosis?** Not yet. It isn’t listed in the DSM-5, though [researchers published consensus diagnostic criteria in 2022](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9803763/) and the clinical picture is well recognized. Practically, the label matters less than the suffering. Specialists treat it as the eating disorder it functions as. **Can you recover without giving up healthy eating?** Yes, and this fear keeps many women from seeking help. Recovery targets the rigid rules, the anxiety, and the moral weight tied to food, not your interest in feeling good. Most women [come out the other side ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/02/10-exciting-signs-you-are-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/)eating in a way that’s both flexible and genuinely nourishing, often for the first time in years. **Does orthorexia turn into anorexia?** It can, though not always. The restriction patterns overlap, and left untreated, it sometimes picks up weight and body fears over time. That’s one reason to seek support early rather than waiting to see which label fits best. **How is orthorexia treated?** With a combination of eating disorder therapy, often CBT or ACT, and non-diet nutrition counseling with a registered dietitian. When obsessive thinking is severe, medication can help too. The goal across all of it is the same: food becomes one part of your life again, instead of the thing that runs it. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** orthorexia --- ### [How to Support Your LGBTQ Teen Coming Out](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/06/how-to-support-your-lgbtq-teen-coming-out/) **Published:** September 6, 2024 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** When your teen comes out as LGBTQ, it can stir up a mix of emotions for everyone involved. You might feel proud, confused, worried, or even unsure how to react. That’s okay. This guide will help you navigate the journey of an LGBTQ teen coming out, offering support for both you and your child. ![Pink haired LGBTQ teen coming out of the closet](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Screen-Shot-2024-09-01-at-9.49.25-PM-1.png) ## Understanding the Coming Out Process Coming out is a big step for your teen. It takes courage to share such personal information. Your teen might worry about your reaction or fear rejection. Remember, this process is about your teen’s identity and their trust in you. Every LGBTQ teen coming out experience is unique. Some might be certain about their identity, while others are still figuring things out. Whatever the case, your support matters a lot. ## Immediate Ways to Support Your LGBTQ Teen Coming Out When your teen opens up to you, your first reaction is crucial. Here are some tips: 1. Show love: A simple “I love you” or a hug can mean the world. 2. Listen actively: Let your teen speak without interruption. 3. Thank them: Express gratitude for their trust in you. 4. Offer support: Ask how you can help them feel safe and accepted. Remember, it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away. What matters most is showing your teen that you’re there for them. ## Long-Term Support for Your LGBTQ Teen Supporting your teen doesn’t stop after they come out. Here are some ways to provide ongoing support: ### 1. Educate Yourself About LGBTQ Issues Learn about LGBTQ identities, challenges, and experiences. This knowledge will help you understand your teen better and show them you care. ### 2. Create a Safe Space at Home Make sure your home is a place where your teen feels comfortable being themselves. Use their preferred name and pronouns, and don’t tolerate any discrimination. ### 3. Connect with LGBTQ Resources Look for local LGBTQ youth groups or online resources. These can provide additional support for your teen. ### 4. Stand Up for Your Teen Be ready to advocate for your teen at school, in your family, or in your community. Your support can make a big difference in their life. ## Common Challenges Even with the best intentions, you might face some challenges. Here are a few common ones and how to handle them: 1. Misunderstandings: If you say something hurtful by mistake, apologize and learn from it. 2. Family conflicts: Some family members might not be as accepting. Prioritize your teen’s safety and well-being. 3. School issues: Be prepared to advocate for your teen at school if needed. 4. Mental health concerns: LGBTQ teens may face higher risks of depression or anxiety. Watch for signs and seek help if needed. ## The Role of LGBTQ Therapy in the Coming Out Process LGBTQ therapy can be beneficial for both you and your teen. Here’s how it can help: 1. **For your teen:** It provides a safe space to explore their identity and cope with any challenges. 2. **For you**: It offers guidance on how to support your teen and manage your own emotions. 3. **Family**: Family therapy can improve communication and understanding among all family members. Remember, seeking LGBTQ therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s a proactive step to ensure the best support for your family. ## Moving Forward After Your LGBTQ Teen Comes Out The coming out process doesn’t end after the initial conversation. It’s an ongoing journey of growth and understanding. Here are some tips for moving forward: 1. **Keep the conversation open**: Let your teen know they can always talk to you. 2. **Celebrate their identity**: Show interest in LGBTQ culture and events. 3. **Plan for the future:** Discuss how being LGBTQ might affect their life plans and how you can support them. 4. **Be patient:** Both you and your teen are learning and growing. It’s okay to take it one day at a time. ## Embracing Your LGBTQ Teen’s Journey Supporting an LGBTQ teen coming out can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. By showing love, seeking understanding, and taking care of yourself, you can navigate this journey successfully. Remember, you’re not alone. There are many [resources](https://pflag.org/) available, from support groups to LGBTQ therapy. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. Your support can make a world of difference in your teen’s life. By accepting and embracing your LGBTQ teen, you’re not just supporting them – you’re helping create a more inclusive world for everyone. At Therapy for Women Center, we specialize in helping [LGBTQ+](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/teens/) teens of any and all genders and their families. **Categories:** LGBTQ+, Therapy for Teens **Tags:** For parents, LGBTQ, teen therapy, therapy for teens --- ### [How to Break Free from All or Nothing Thinking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/12/how-to-break-free-from-all-or-nothing-thinking/) **Published:** January 12, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Do you find yourself thinking in extremes? You might be experiencing all or nothing thinking (otherwise known as black and white thinking or binary thinking), a common cognitive distortion that affects millions of people. This comprehensive guide will help you understand, identify, and overcome these patterns. ![woman on the internet smiling because she is not engaging in all or nothing thinking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/medium-shot-woman-reading-coffee-shop-1-scaled.jpg) ## What is All or Nothing Thinking? A Simple Definition All or nothing thinking is a [cognitive distortion](https://www.uth.edu/studenthealth/assets/docs/scs/cognitive-distortions.pdf) where people view situations in extreme, black-and-white terms. This thinking pattern eliminates grey areas and can significantly impact mental health, relationships, and daily decision-making. ## Common Examples of All or Nothing Thinking - “I made one mistake at work, so I’m a complete failure” - “If I can’t exercise for an hour, there’s no point in exercising at all” - “Either I’m perfect at this, or I’m worthless” - “No one cares about me” or “Everyone hates me” - “Things will never get better” ## How Social Media Reinforces All or Nothing Thinking Social media algorithms intensify this cognitive distortion by: - Promoting extreme viewpoints - Creating echo chambers - Rewarding dramatic content - Limiting exposure to nuanced perspectives - Encouraging quick, emotional reactions ## 5 Signs You’re Experiencing All or Nothing Thinking 1. You frequently use words like “always,” “never,” or “every time” 2. Small setbacks feel like complete failures 3. You struggle to see middle ground in situations 4. Success feels impossible unless it’s perfect 5. You often feel hopeless or overwhelmed ## How to Challenge All or Nothing Thinking: Comprehensive Strategies ### 1. The Grey-Area Technique Break free from binary thinking by: - Rating situations on a 0-100 scale instead of all-or-nothing - Looking for partial successes in perceived failures - Identifying multiple factors in any situation - Practicing describing events without extreme language ### 2. The Perspective Shift Method Challenge rigid thoughts by: - Imagining how a trusted friend would view the situation - Considering how you’ll feel about this in a week, month, or year - Looking for exceptions to your absolute statements - Writing down alternative interpretations of events ### 3. The Evidence-Based Approach Build realistic thinking by: - Creating two columns: evidence for and against your thought - Looking for historical examples that contradict your absolute thinking - Tracking patterns to identify triggers for all-or-nothing thoughts - Collecting data about times when the middle ground was true ### 4. The Values Alignment Strategy Ground your thinking in personal values by: - Identifying what truly matters to you beyond success/failure - Connecting daily actions to larger life goals - Recognizing small steps of progress - Celebrating effort rather than just outcomes ### 5. The Practical Implementation Plan Put these strategies into action by: - Starting with low-stakes situations - Creating specific action statements for common scenarios - Developing personal mantras that embrace nuance - Setting realistic, incremental goals - Building a supportive environment that encourages balanced thinking ## Key Takeaways for Managing Black & White Thinking - Recognize it’s a common cognitive distortion - Start small with challenging thoughts - Practice finding middle ground - Focus on progress over perfection - Remember change is gradual and ongoing - Reach out to a [therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists) to get professional help. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** all or nothing thinking, anxiety, black and white thinking, CBT, cognitive distortions, depression --- ### [The Danger of Self Diagnosis in Teens and How to Help](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/21/the-danger-of-self-diagnosis-in-teens-and-how-to-help/) **Published:** January 21, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** In today’s digital age, teens have unprecedented access to information about mental health. While this can be beneficial, it has also led to a concerning trend: self diagnosis. This article explores the risks associated with teens diagnosing their own mental health conditions and offers guidance for parents navigating this complex issue. ![portrait of teen girl with cellphone](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/woman-brunette-one-pants-blue-1-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Self Diagnosis in the Digital Era Self diagnosis occurs when individuals identify medical conditions in themselves based on personal research, often through online sources. For teens, this process frequently involves social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram, where mental health content has exploded in popularity. In 2021, [TikTok ](https://www.tiktok.com/)videos with the hashtag ‘ADHD’ garnered a staggering 2.7 billion views, highlighting the scale of this phenomenon. While increased mental health awareness is positive, the rise of self diagnosis among teens poses significant risks. Many young people are using information from non-professional sources to label their experiences, potentially leading to misdiagnosis and delayed proper treatment. ## The Allure and Pitfalls of Self Diagnosis for Teens Teens turn to self diagnosis for various reasons: 1. Seeking answers to their emotional struggles 2. Desire to understand and label their experiences 3. Feeling validated by relating to others’ stories online 4. Difficulty accessing professional mental health care However, self diagnosis can be misleading and potentially harmful. Here’s why: - **Lack of professional expertise**. Teens don’t have the years of training required to accurately assess complex mental health conditions. - **Confirmation bias.** Teens might focus on symptoms that confirm their suspected diagnosis while ignoring others. - **Overlapping symptoms.** Many mental health conditions share similar symptoms, making it challenging to differentiate without professional assessment. - **Missing underlying medical conditions**. Some physical health issues can mimic mental health symptoms, which teens might overlook. ## The Dangers of Self Diagnosis: Why Professional Help Matters When teens engage in self diagnosis, they risk several negative outcomes: 1. **Misdiagnosis**. Without proper training, teens might misinterpret their symptoms, leading to incorrect self diagnosis. 2. **Delayed proper treatment**. If a teen believes they have one condition when they actually have another, they might delay getting appropriate help. 3. **Self-fulfilling prophecy**. Teens might develop symptoms they believe they should have after self-diagnosing, reinforcing an incorrect diagnosis. 4. **Resistance to professional opinions**. Some teens become attached to their self diagnosis and resist alternative professional assessments, further delaying proper care. 5. **Overlooking serious medical conditions**. Some physical health issues can present similarly to mental health conditions. Self diagnosis might cause teens to miss these potentially serious problems. ## How Parents Can Address Self Diagnosis Tendencies in Teens If you suspect your teen is engaging in self diagnosis, consider these strategies: 1. **Open communication**. Create a safe space for your teen to discuss their concerns without judgment. 2. **Educate about online content**. Help your teen understand that not all online information is accurate or applicable to everyone. 3. **Encourage professional assessment**. Suggest a consultation with a mental health professional who can provide an accurate diagnosis. 4. **Model healthy skepticism**. Show your teen how to critically evaluate online health information. 5. **Limit social media exposure**. Help your teen set boundaries around consuming mental health content on social media. 6. **Promote overall well-being**. Encourage healthy habits like regular exercise, good sleep, and balanced nutrition, which support mental health. ## The Importance of Professional Diagnosis in Teen Mental Health While self diagnosis might seem like a quick solution, it’s crucial to remember that mental health diagnoses are complex and nuanced. Licensed professionals spend years learning how to accurately assess and diagnose mental health conditions. They use evidence-based tools and techniques that go beyond matching symptoms to a list. **A professional diagnosis involves:** - Comprehensive assessment of symptoms - Consideration of personal and family history - Evaluation of overall functioning - Potential use of standardized tests - Ruling out other possible conditions This thorough approach ensures a more accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment plan. ## Moving Forward: Balancing Awareness and Professional Care The increased openness about mental health on social media has positive aspects. It can help teens recognize when they might need help and reduce stigma around mental health issues. However, it’s crucial to balance this awareness with professional guidance. **If your teen expresses concerns about their mental health:** 1. Listen empathetically without immediately confirming or denying their self diagnosis 2. Validate their feelings and experiences 3. Offer to help them find a mental health professional for proper assessment 4. Continue to support them throughout the process of seeking professional help Remember, seeking help from a [licensed mental health professional](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists) is the best way to ensure your teen receives accurate diagnosis and appropriate care. While self diagnosis might seem like a shortcut, it often leads to more confusion and delayed treatment. By guiding your teen towards professional help, you’re supporting their long-term mental health and well-being. **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** current events, self diagnosis, social media, teen social media, teens, tiktok --- ### [Important Things to Know about Brainspotting vs EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/05/brainspotting-vs-emdr-therapy/) **Published:** February 5, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Imagine your trauma as a tangled ball of yarn. You know it needs to be untangled, but where do you start? Two powerful trauma therapy methods – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Brainspotting – offer different ways to gently unravel those knots. At Therapy for Women, we offer both as a form of trauma therapy. Let’s explore how to choose between brainspotting vs EMDR for your healing journey. ![Female therapist discussing Brainspotting vs EMDR therapy with a female patient, sitting on a couch ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/full-shot-young-girl-talking-therapist-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding EMDR: Your GPS Through Trauma EMDR was created by [Dr. Francine Shapiro in 1987](https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/). It uses bilateral stimulation – like windshield wipers clearing away the fog of painful memories. Your therapist guides you through a proven route using rhythmic eye movements, tapping, or hand-held buzzers that activate both sides of your brain. During sessions, your therapist becomes your travel companion. They use hand movements or a light bar to guide your eyes back and forth. While this might sound strange, there’s solid science behind it. Just as a boat needs both oars working together to move forward, these bilateral movements help your brain re-process trauma effectively. ### Key Benefits of EMDR: - Works like defragmenting your mental hard drive – reorganizing memories so they don’t overwhelm you - Follows a structured eight-phase approach, giving you clear signposts along your healing path - Often produces faster results than traditional talk therapy alone. Can also be more stimulating than Brainspotting ## Brainspotting vs EMDR: Different Routes to Recovery While EMDR takes you on a structured journey, Brainspotting, developed by Dr. David Grand in 2003, works more like your body’s natural compass. Instead of continuous movement, this method helps you find specific eye positions – called brainspots – that connect to stored trauma. Think of it as finding the right radio frequency – when you hit the spot, things just click. Your therapist works like a trusted co-pilot, following your lead while helping you navigate your emotions. This mindful attunement creates a deeply personal healing experience. ### Advantages of Brainspotting: - Sessions flow naturally, like a meandering river finding its path - Perfect for those who find EMDR’s back-and-forth movement challenging - Can be an alternative if you struggle with dissociation ## Making Your Choice: Brainspotting or EMDR Choosing between brainspotting vs EMDR is like picking between hiking trails – both lead to the summit, but each offers a different journey. Consider these factors: **Your Personal Style Preferences:** - EMDR might suit you if you prefer clear structure and proven protocols - Brainspotting could be your path if you like a more fluid, intuitive approach - EMDR might suit you better if you feel “don’t feel anything” when doing Brainspotting - Some find EMDR’s movement natural, while others prefer Brainspotting’s steady gaze - Trust your instincts about which method feels right for you Remember, finding the right therapist matters as much as choosing which type of therapy. Many practitioners train in both methods, allowing them to adapt their approach to your needs. At Therapy for Women, we have a number of therapists who practice both. We practice EMDR therapy and Brainspotting virtually and in person. [Learn more about our approach here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) In person offices - [Center City/ Logan Square, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) - [Old City, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) - [Bala Cynwyd (Main Line), Pennsylvania ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) - Collingswood, New Jersey Healing from trauma takes time and patience, like tending a garden. Whether you choose EMDR’s structured pathways or Brainspotting’s intuitive approach, commit to the process and maintain open communication with your therapist. Both methods can lead to profound healing – the key is finding the approach that resonates with your personal style and needs. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Brainspotting, EMDR, Therapy Modalities, trauma, Trauma therapy --- ### [8 Powerful Ways to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder in Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/25/8-unique-activities-in-philadelphia-to-combat-seasonal-affective-disorder/) **Published:** February 25, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** January and February can feel endless if you live in Philadelphia. The gray days and rain can especially impact those who have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The shorter days and cooler temperatures can bring on feelings of low energy, mood swings, and even depression. One of the best ways to combat it is to plan activities that shake up your routine. We are going to share some of our favorites in the Philadelphia area. ![woman with short hearing wearing a red scarf in a coffee shop in Philadelphia struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/portrait-beautiful-young-girl-posing-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder Before we dive into the activities, it’s important to understand what seasonal affective disorder is and how it affects us. SAD is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons, typically starting in the fall and continuing through winter. Symptoms can include fatigue, depression, hopelessness, and social withdrawal. If you’re experiencing these symptoms, it’s essential to reach out for help. Philadelphia therapy options are available, and a mental health professional can provide valuable support and guidance. ## Outdoor Activities to Fight Seasonal Affective Disorder One of the best ways to combat seasonal affective disorder is by spending time outdoors and soaking up natural light. Here are some fantastic outdoor activities to try in Philadelphia: 1\. **Explore Fairmount Park**: With over 2,000 acres of trails, meadows, and woodlands, Fairmount Park is the perfect place for a fall hike or picnic. The vibrant autumn colors can boost your mood and provide a much-needed dose of vitamin D. 2\. **Take a Historical Walking Tour**: Philadelphia is rich in history, and fall is the perfect time to explore it. Sign up for a walking tour of Old City or Independence Mall to get your steps in while learning about the city’s fascinating past. ## Indoor Activities for Rainy Fall Days Sometimes, the weather doesn’t cooperate with our outdoor plans. Here are some indoor activities that can help combat seasonal affective disorder on those gloomy days: 3\. **[Visit the Philadelphia Museum of Art](https://www.philamuseum.org/)**: Immerse yourself in creativity and culture at one of the city’s premier art museums. The vibrant colors and thought-provoking exhibits can stimulate your mind and lift your spirits. 4\. **Attend a Cooking Class**: Learn to make hearty fall dishes at a local cooking class. Cooking can be therapeutic, and the social aspect of a class can help combat feelings of isolation often associated with seasonal affective disorder. 5\. **Try Indoor Rock Climbing**: Get your adrenaline pumping and challenge yourself at an indoor rock climbing gym. Physical exercise is a great way to boost mood and energy levels. ## Mindful Activities to Manage Seasonal Affective Disorder Incorporating mindfulness into your routine can be incredibly beneficial when dealing with seasonal affective disorder. Here are some activities to try: 6\. **Join a Yoga Class**: Many studios in Philadelphia offer fall-themed yoga classes. The combination of movement, breath work, and meditation can help reduce stress and improve mood. 7\. **Practice Gratitude Journaling**: Set aside time each day to write down things you’re grateful for. This simple practice can shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life, even during challenging times. ## Community Engagement to Beat the Blues Connecting with others is crucial when combating seasonal affective disorder. Here’s an activity that combines social interaction with giving back: 8\. **Volunteer at a Local Food Bank**: Fall is a great time to give back to the community. Volunteering not only helps others but can also boost your own mood and sense of purpose. [Philabundance](https://www.philabundance.org/) is a great resource. ## Seeking Professional Help for Seasonal Affective Disorder While these activities can certainly help manage symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, it’s important to remember that professional help is available if you need it. Philadelphia therapy options are plentiful, and working with a mental health professional can provide you with personalized strategies to manage SAD. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist if you’re struggling. At Therapy for Women Center, we have offices in [Old City,](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) [Center City/ Logan Square ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/)and in [Bala Cynwyd](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) on the Main Line. We also offer virtual therapy in 42 states if you are struggling with seasonal affective disorder. We would love to help! Remember, seasonal affective disorder is common and treatable. By combining fun fall activities with professional support when needed, you can make the most of the autumn season and maintain good mental health. So grab your favorite sweater, pick an activity from this list, and embrace all that fall in Philadelphia has to offer! **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** depression, SAD, SAD Therapy, seasonal affective disorder --- ### [8 Phases of EMDR: A Powerful Guide to Transformative Healing](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/03/17/8-phases-of-emdr-a-powerful-guide-to-transformative-healing/) **Published:** March 17, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Ever wonder what actually happens in EMDR therapy? Understanding the 8 phases of EMDR can take the mystery out of this powerful healing approach. Like chapters in a book, each phase builds on the last, creating a clear path toward recovery from trauma and PTSD. ![Young girl sitting on a couch with her therapist starting 8 phases of EMDR therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/young-girl-talking-therapist-full-shot-1-scaled.jpg) ## What is EMDR Therapy? EMDR therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps the brain process traumatic memories and experiences. During EMDR, a therapist guides you through specific eye movements or other bilateral stimulation while you access distressing memories. This process helps the brain reprocess these memories, reducing their emotional impact and allowing healing to occur. If you’d like to learn more about the foundations of EMDR therapy, check out our [comprehensive EMDR information page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/). You might also be interested in exploring how [EMDR compares to Brainspotting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/05/brainspotting-vs-emdr-therapy/) or how [EMDR specifically helps with Complex PTSD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/03/31/emdr-for-complex-ptsd-a-powerful-path-to-healing-trauma/). ## What Are the 8 Phases of EMDR? EMDR therapy follows a structured approach with eight distinct phases: 1. **History Taking and Treatment Planning** 2. **Preparation** 3. **Assessment** 4. **Desensitization** 5. **Installation** 6. **Body Scan** 7. **Closure** 8. **Reevaluation** ## Breaking Down the 8 Phases of EMDR Think of phase one as meeting your guide for a challenging hike. Your therapist learns about your journey – the rough patches you’ve crossed and the mountains you still need to climb. You’ll map out your goals together, identifying which memories need the most attention. Next comes phase two – your training ground. Just as you wouldn’t climb Mount Everest without proper gear, you won’t dive into trauma processing without the right tools. Your therapist teaches you grounding exercises, like finding your “safe place” – a mental retreat you can visit when emotions run high. ## Understanding the Middle Phase of the 8 Phases of EMDR Phases three and four form the heart of your healing work. In phase three, you’ll choose a specific memory to process – like selecting which knot to untangle first in a tangled necklace. You’ll note the image, negative beliefs, and body sensations tied to this memory. During phase four, the real transformation begins. While following your therapist’s finger movements or a light bar, your brain naturally processes the trauma. It’s like your mind is finally getting the chance to digest experiences that were too big to swallow before. ## Moving Through the Final Stages The last part of the 8 phases of[ EMDR](https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/) focuses on cementing your progress. Phase five strengthens your new, positive beliefs – like building strong foundations for a house. Phase six checks in with your body to ensure no tension remains stored from the memory. In phase seven, you end each session by returning to solid ground. Think of it as landing the plane smoothly – your therapist ensures you feel stable before leaving their office. The final phase, evaluation, starts each new session by checking your progress, like reviewing your map before continuing the journey. ## What Makes Each Phase Important Every phase serves a unique purpose in your healing journey: - The early phases build trust and prepare you for deeper work - Middle phases actively process and transform traumatic memories - Later phases ensure changes stick and check your progress - The final phase helps you maintain and build on your gains Remember, healing isn’t a race. Some people spend more time in certain phases, especially preparation. Just as you wouldn’t rush training for a marathon, give yourself time to move through each phase properly. Understanding these phases helps you partner more effectively with your therapist. While every person’s healing journey looks different, knowing what to expect can make the process feel less overwhelming. Trust the process – thousands have walked this path before you and found healing on the other side. We offer EMDR online and in person at our Philly offices, in Bala Cynwyd (Main Line) office and in Collingswood, New Jersey! - [Old City/ Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) - [Center City/ Logan Square, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) - [Main Line (Bala Cynwyd) Office ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) - [Collingswood, New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/collingswood-new-jersey/) Reach out to us to [get started!](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** bilateral stimulation, Brainspotting, EMDR, Therapy Modalities --- ### [EMDR for Complex PTSD: A Powerful Path to Healing Trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/03/31/emdr-for-complex-ptsd-a-powerful-path-to-healing-trauma/) **Published:** March 31, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** EMDR for Complex PTSD has become one of the most effective treatment approaches we offer at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia. Many clients come to us wondering if their long-standing trauma can truly be resolved. We’ve seen remarkable results using EMDR for Complex PTSD, helping women process deeply rooted traumatic experiences and find relief from symptoms that have affected them for years. ![woman hunched over struggling with complex PTSD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/close-up-depressed-woman-sitting-chair-scaled.jpg) ## How EMDR for Complex Trauma Differs from Traditional Treatment Unlike single-incident trauma, Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) typically develops from prolonged exposure to traumatic events, especially during childhood. This ongoing trauma can affect your: - Ability to regulate emotions, leading to intense mood swings - Sense of self and personal identity - Trust in relationships and connection with others - Feelings of safety in everyday situations - Core beliefs about yourself and the world around you Furthermore, many people with C-PTSD experience flashbacks, nightmares, and body-based reactions that seem to come out of nowhere. Consequently, these symptoms can make daily life feel unpredictable and exhausting. ## How EMDR for Complex PTSD Works: The Treatment Process Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy was originally developed for single-incident trauma. However, therapists have since adapted EMDR for Complex PTSD to address the layered nature of chronic trauma. At its core, [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/ " EMDR") helps your brain process traumatic memories that are stuck in your nervous system. Through specific bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements, taps, or tones), EMDR activates your brain’s natural healing processes. When treating Complex PTSD with EMDR, the process typically involves: - First establishing safety and building coping skills before processing traumatic memories - Working with earlier developmental periods where trauma occurred - Processing both specific traumatic events and the negative beliefs that formed as a result - Finally, strengthening positive beliefs and resources for ongoing healing ## Why EMDR Works Where Other Therapies May Struggle Traditional talk therapy has its place, but sometimes trauma gets stored in parts of the brain that aren’t easily accessed through talking alone. EMDR for Complex PTSD offers several advantages: - Works directly with the body’s nervous system responses - Doesn’t require detailed verbal recounting of every traumatic experience - Helps change deep-seated negative beliefs that developed from chronic trauma - Creates lasting neurological changes rather than just coping mechanisms Additionally, research shows EMDR can be effective even for trauma that occurred decades ago. A 2018 [study](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3951033/#:~:text=One%20of%20the%20studies%20using,(Cohen's%20%CE%B4%20%3D%201.69).) found that 84% of adult survivors of childhood trauma no longer met criteria for PTSD after EMDR treatment. ## What to Expect: Your EMDR for Complex PTSD Journey Here’s what to expect: 1. Initially, you’ll work with your therapist on stabilization, ensuring you have tools to manage emotions that arise 2. Together, you’ll identify key traumatic memories and negative beliefs to target 3. Then, processing sessions will help your brain “digest” these experiences differently 4. Finally, you’ll strengthen positive beliefs and resources for continued healing Because of the complex nature of C-PTSD, treatment usually requires multiple sessions over time. Many clients experience gradual improvement rather than immediate transformation. However, the changes tend to be deep and lasting. ## Is EMDR for Complex PTSD Right for You? While EMDR has helped many of our clients with Complex PTSD, every person’s healing journey is unique. This approach might be a good fit if: - You’ve tried talk therapy but still struggle with trauma symptoms - You find it difficult to verbalize certain experiences - You notice your body reacting strongly to trauma triggers - Traditional coping skills help temporarily but don’t create lasting change At Therapy for Women Center, our trained EMDR therapists in Philadelphia, Collingswood, New Jersey and in Bala Cynwyd, can help you determine if this approach is right for you. Moreover, we’ll work at your pace, ensuring you feel safe and supported throughout the process. Healing from Complex PTSD is possible, even when trauma has been a part of your life for years. With the right therapeutic approach like EMDR for Complex PTSD, you can process these difficult experiences and move forward with greater freedom and choice. We offer EMDR online and in person at our four Philadelphia-area offices: - [Old City/ Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) - [Center City/ Logan Square, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) - [Main Line (Bala Cynwyd) Office](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) - [Collingswood, New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/collingswood-new-jersey/) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Complex PTSD, CPTSD, EDMR, EMDR therapy, PTSD, trauma --- ### [Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner or Psychiatrist: Which Is Better?](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/02/psychiatric-nurse-practitioner-or-psychiatrist-which-is-better/) **Published:** July 2, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** If you’re considering medication for your mental health, you’ve probably wondered whether to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner or a psychiatrist. It’s a common question, and honestly, the answer might surprise you. Both can prescribe medication, both provide excellent care, and at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we intentionally have both. We’ve found that having options matters more than you might think. ![portrait of female psychiatric nurse practitioner ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/black-nurse-their-workspace-scaled.jpg) ## What Is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner? First, let’s clarify what this role involves. A Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP) is an advanced practice nurse with mental health expertise. They can both diagnose and prescribe medications. Additionally, their education includes: - Bachelor’s degree in nursing - RN license and clinical experience - Master’s or doctoral degree in psychiatric nursing - National board certification - Regular continuing education As a result, these providers blend nursing care with mental health expertise. ## How Does a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner Differ from a Psychiatrist? While both treat mental health, their training paths vary. Psychiatrists attend medical school and complete residencies. On the other hand, a psychiatric nurse practitioner follows nursing education with psychiatric specialization. However, both providers can: - Diagnose mental health conditions - Prescribe all psychiatric medications - Monitor your progress - Adjust treatment plans Most Importantly, quality of care remains excellent with either choice. At our practice, both provider types share our core philosophy: you deserve options without pressure. ## Unique Strengths of a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner These specialized nurses bring distinct benefits: **Holistic Care Approach** Nursing emphasizes whole-person treatment. Therefore, a psychiatric nurse practitioner often considers lifestyle, relationships, and wellness alongside symptoms. This broader view can reveal helpful insights. **Collaborative Style** The nursing model values partnership. Thus, a psychiatric nurse practitioner typically involves you actively in treatment planning. Your input matters throughout the process. **Better Availability** With psychiatrist shortages nationwide, appointments can take months. However, a psych NP often has sooner openings. Getting help quickly makes a difference. ## When to See a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner A psych NP treats all mental health conditions, including: - Depression and mood changes - Anxiety and panic - ADHD and focus issues - Trauma and PTSD - Postpartum/ Motherhood - Bipolar disorder - Sleep problems - Life stress and transitions A psychiatric nurse practitioner might also be the right fit if you prefer collaborative discussions about your treatment rather than a more directive approach. They typically offer longer appointments, which means more time to talk through your concerns without feeling rushed. If you need to be seen soon, they often have better availability than psychiatrists. Many patients also appreciate their holistic perspective that considers your whole life situation, not just symptoms. Additionally, if your medication needs are relatively straightforward, these health professionals can absolutely handle your care. ## Can a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner Prescribe Medication? Yes, a psychiatric nurse practitioner can prescribe all psychiatric medications! This includes: - Antidepressants - Anti-anxiety medications - ADHD medications (including stimulants) - Mood stabilizers - Sleep aids - Other mental health medications Furthermore, a psychiatric nurse practitioner orders lab tests and makes referrals as needed. Our psychiatric nurse practitioner follows the same careful approach we’re known for. No pressure, just options. ## Benefits of Having Both Provider Types Why do we have both? Having [both providers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/medication-management/) mean shorter wait times, and when you’re struggling, quick access matters greatly. Our providers also consult with each other and can cover when one is away. But ultimately, having both gives you a choice in treatment style—some people prefer the medical model of psychiatry, while others connect better with nursing approaches. Either way, you choose what feels right for you. ## What to Expect with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner During your first visit with a psychiatric nurse practitioner, expect: **Thorough Assessment** We’ll review your symptoms, history, and life situation. Additionally, we’ll discuss your treatment goals and any concerns. **All Options Explained** Like all our providers, we present every choice available. These include therapy alone, lifestyle changes, and medication if appropriate. There’s never pressure to choose medication. **Shared Decisions** You’re the expert on your life. Together, we’ll create a plan that fits your needs and comfort level. **Ongoing Support** Treatment continues beyond the first visit. We provide regular monitoring and adjust as needed. ## Common Questions Patients Ask **“Is the care quality equal?”** Absolutely! [Research](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9769920/) shows similar patient outcomes between provider types. Both deliver excellent mental health care. **“Does insurance cover these visits?”** Most out of network plans will reimburse you for these services, just like psychiatrist visits. **“Can a psychiatric nurse practitioner handle complex cases?”** Yes! A psychiatric nurse practitioner treats the full range of conditions. Plus, having collaborating psychiatrists adds extra support when beneficial. ## Our Practice Philosophy Whether you see our psychiatric nurse practitioner or psychiatrist, expect: - No medication pressure - Clear explanations of all options - Complete respect for your preferences - Collaborative planning Additionally, our team approach means coordinated care. You get multiple perspectives while maintaining consistent treatment philosophy. ## Your Next Step At Therapy for Women we have an incredible psychiatric nurse practitioner, [Valerie Riling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/medication-management/), PHNP. We also have a psychiatrist, Dr. Eli Muhrer, MD. Both provide quality mental health care. The key? Finding someone who aligns with your values and needs. If you prefer to see a woman, Valerie would love to meet with you! As always, our clinicians believe in choices over prescriptions. Our team brings clinical expertise combined with respect for your autonomy. Whether you prefer nursing or medical approaches, we support your journey. Ready to explore your options? [Reach out to us today to get started!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, OCD, Substance Use Disorders, Therapy for Women **Tags:** medication management, Nurse Practitioner, Psych NP, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Psychiatrist, psychiatry --- ### [ADHD in Women: Important Signs & Symptoms to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/24/adhd-in-women-psychiatrist/) **Published:** July 24, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** ADHD in women often goes unrecognized and untreated for years. Many women struggle with symptoms their entire lives before receiving proper diagnosis and treatment. You might not even realize your symptoms stem from ADHD because the condition presents so differently for women and men. If you’re wondering whether you might have ADHD or are searching for support, understanding how ADHD affects women is the first step toward better mental health. ![Woman talking to a Philadelphia psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD in women ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/casual-adult-woman-talking-phone-819x1024.jpg) ## Why Does ADHD in Women Go Undiagnosed? ADHD is often thought of as a “children’s condition,” not necessarily an adult one. People think that if they weren’t diagnosed in childhood, they don’t have it. But just because you weren’t diagnosed when you were young doesn’t mean it’s not there. [ADHD in women](https://add.org/adhd-in-women/) often looks completely different from the hyperactive boy stereotype that most people picture. Instead of being disruptive or obviously hyperactive, women with ADHD typically experience inattentive symptoms that can be easily overlooked or brushed off as something else. They may appear daydreamy, forgetful, or disorganized, which are often dismissed as personality traits rather than recognized as signs of ADHD. So, more women are officially diagnosed with ADHD as adults. Hormonal changes during puberty, pregnancy, and menopause can also significantly worsen ADHD symptoms in women. These fluctuations can mask or complicate the diagnosis, leading many healthcare providers to misattribute symptoms to other causes. Many women with ADHD receive misdiagnoses of anxiety or depression before discovering their true condition. This is because ADHD in women often co-occurs with these mental health conditions, and the underlying ADHD may be driving or exacerbating the anxiety and depression symptoms. ## Signs of ADHD in Adult Women Women with ADHD experience several distinctive symptoms that differ from the classic presentation seen in boys and men. Understanding these signs can help women recognize when they should seek professional evaluation: **Executive Functioning Challenges:** Women with ADHD often struggle with executive functioning tasks like organizing their homes, managing time effectively, or completing multi-step projects. They may feel overwhelmed by daily responsibilities and have significant difficulty prioritizing tasks or following through on commitments. **Emotional and Social Symptoms:** ADHD in women frequently includes emotional dysregulation, which can strain relationships and self-esteem. Women may experience intense emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation. **Other common signs of ADHD in women include:** - Chronic feelings of underachievement despite high intelligence and capability - Difficulty maintaining relationships due to emotional sensitivity - Procrastination followed by intense periods of hyperfocus - Extreme sensitivity to criticism and rejection - Feeling like you’re constantly “failing” at being an adult - Mental fatigue from trying to compensate for ADHD symptoms ## How Women’s Hormones Affect ADHD One of the most important aspects of understanding ADHD in women is recognizing how hormonal fluctuations impact symptoms. Estrogen plays a crucial role in dopamine regulation, which directly affects ADHD symptoms. **Menstrual Cycle Impact:** Many women with ADHD notice their symptoms worsen during certain phases of their menstrual cycle, particularly during the luteal phase when estrogen levels drop. This can make symptoms more severe in the days leading up to menstruation. **Life Stages:** ADHD symptoms can change dramatically during major hormonal transitions: - **Perimenopause/Menopause:** When declining estrogen can significantly worsen symptoms - **Puberty:** When symptoms may first become noticeable or problematic - **Pregnancy:** Symptoms may improve during pregnancy due to increased estrogen - **Postpartum:** Often when women seek help as symptoms return or worsen ## Getting Proper Diagnosis If you suspect you have ADHD, seeking evaluation from a qualified mental health professional is essential. Research has shown that once women receive an official diagnosis, they are more likely to be able to forgive themselves for past behaviors and mistakes. Many often report feeling like they finally understand themselves. Even though it’s overwhelming, being able to put a name to the issues you’ve been facing your entire life can be empowering. Not every healthcare provider has extensive experience with women and ADHD so it’s important to find someone who understands it in regard to women’s health. **What to Look for in a Healthcare Provider:** When seeking diagnosis, look for psychiatrists or psychologists who have specific experience with ADHD in women. They should understand how ADHD symptoms change throughout a woman’s life cycle and recognize how hormonal fluctuations affect the condition. The right healthcare provider will also screen for co-occurring conditions like anxiety and depression, which are extremely common in women with ADHD. They should take a comprehensive approach that considers your entire life history, not just current symptoms. ## Treatment Options for ADHD in Women **Medication Management:** Medication remains one of the most effective treatments for ADHD in women. However, stimulant medications may affect women differently than men due to hormonal interactions. Some women find their medication needs change throughout their menstrual cycle or during major life transitions. (Here in Philadelphia, we have a [psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) and psychiatric nurse practitioner who specializes in this). **Therapy and Behavioral Interventions:** Beyond medication, therapy plays a vital role in treatment. [Cognitive-behavioral therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/) can help you develop coping strategies, organizational skills, and emotional regulation techniques. Therapy also addresses the emotional impact of years of undiagnosed ADHD, including feelings of shame, failure, or low self-esteem. **Lifestyle Modifications:** Many women with ADHD benefit from lifestyle changes that support their mental health: - Organizational systems tailored to ADHD brains - Regular exercise to boost dopamine naturally - Consistent sleep schedules to improve focus and emotional regulation - Stress management techniques ## Questions to Ask Your Healthcare Provider When meeting with a potential psychiatrist or psychologist for ADHD evaluation, ask specific questions about their experience: - How many women with ADHD do they diagnose and treat? - Do they understand how hormones impact ADHD symptoms? - What is their approach to comprehensive assessment? - Can they provide both medication management and therapy, or do they work with other providers? - How do they monitor treatment progress and adjust care as needed? Ask about their treatment philosophy too. Do they consider lifestyle factors like sleep, exercise, and stress? Will they monitor how treatment affects your hormonal health or life transitions? ## The Importance of Comprehensive Care The best treatment involves comprehensive care that goes beyond just prescribing medication. This means ongoing monitoring, adjustments as needed, and addressing the whole person rather than just the symptoms. Comprehensive care also involves recognizing and treating co-occurring conditions. Many women with ADHD also struggle with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or other mental health conditions. Integrated treatment that addresses all of these concerns simultaneously is often most effective. Remember that your experience is real, valid, and treatable. You don’t have to continue struggling with symptoms that significantly impact your life, relationships, and well-being. **Ready to take the next step?** If you’re in [the Philadelphia area](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-therapy/) (we have offices in the city, on the Main Line and in South Jersey), our experienced team understands the unique challenges that women with ADHD face. We’re here to support you! **Categories:** ADHD, Therapy for Women **Tags:** ADHD, ADHD Medication, anxiety, depression, hormones, medication management, Philadelphia psychiatrist, Psych NP, Psychiatrist, psychiatry, Women's Issues --- ### [What Is Trauma Informed Therapy? Your Ultimate Guide to Healing](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/08/13/what-is-trauma-informed-therapy-your-ultimate-guide-to-healing/) **Published:** August 13, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Have you ever wondered why traditional therapy approaches sometimes feel ineffective or even retraumatizing? Trauma informed therapy might be the missing piece in your healing journey. This specialized approach recognizes how trauma affects every aspect of your life and creates a safe space for genuine recovery. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, all our therapists practice trauma informed therapy because we understand that healing requires more than just talking about problems. We believe in addressing the whole person – mind, body, and spirit. ![woman learning about trauma informed therapy in a cafe in Philadelphia ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/people-drinking-coffee-spacious-cafeteria-scaled.jpg) ## How Does Trauma Informed Therapy Differ from Traditional Therapy? Trauma informed therapy fundamentally changes how therapists approach treatment. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with you?” this approach asks “What happened to you?” This shift creates immediate safety and reduces shame that often accompanies trauma. Traditional therapy might focus solely on symptoms and behaviors. However, trauma informed therapy recognizes that these symptoms often represent adaptive responses to difficult experiences. Your anxiety, depression, or relationship struggles may actually be your nervous system’s way of protecting you. Our therapists understand that trust develops slowly. We never rush the process or push you to share before you’re ready. Instead, we collaborate with you to create treatment goals that feel manageable and empowering. ## What Specialized Approaches Do We Use in Trauma Informed Therapy? At our practice, we integrate several evidence-based approaches that work exceptionally well within a trauma informed framework: [**Internal Family Systems (IFS) Thera**py](https://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/ifs-therapy) helps you understand the different “parts” of yourself that developed to cope with trauma. Rather than viewing conflicting feelings as pathological, IFS recognizes them as protective mechanisms. You might discover a part that’s hypervigilant and another that withdraws completely. Through IFS, you learn to appreciate these parts while accessing your core Self – the wise, compassionate center that can lead your healing. **[Somatic Therapy](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/somatic-therapy)** acknowledges that trauma lives in the body, not just the mind. Many women experience physical symptoms like chronic pain, digestive issues, or sleep problems that connect to unresolved trauma. Somatic approaches to trauma counseling help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom and release trauma stored in your nervous system. You’ll learn to notice body sensations, understand their messages, and develop tools for self-regulation. **[Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy "ye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)")** works exceptionally well within a trauma informed framework. This evidence-based approach helps your brain process traumatic memories without requiring you to talk extensively about painful details. Through bilateral stimulation (typically eye movements), EMDR allows your nervous system to naturally heal from trauma. We ensure you feel completely safe and in control throughout every EMDR session. ## Why Does Safety Matter So Much in Trauma Informed Therapy? Safety forms the foundation of all trauma recovery. This means physical safety, emotional safety, and relational safety within the therapeutic relationship. Our therapists create this safety through consistent boundaries, transparent communication, and genuine respect for your autonomy. At Therapy for Women, we’ve intentionally designed four office locations (In Old City, Center City, Bala Cynwyd and South Jersey) specifically with women’s safety and comfort in mind. Each space creates a welcoming environment where you can feel truly relaxed and secure. From calming colors to comfortable seating, every detail supports your healing journey. These thoughtfully designed spaces help your nervous system recognize safety from the moment you walk through our doors. Many women have experienced therapy that felt judgmental or pushy. Trauma informed therapy actively works against these harmful dynamics. You’ll never be forced to discuss topics before you’re ready, and your therapist will always explain their reasoning for suggestions or interventions. ## How Do We Address the Whole Person in Trauma Counseling for Women? Women’s experiences with trauma often intersect with societal pressures, relationship dynamics, and unique biological factors. Our trauma informed approach considers these complexities rather than applying one-size-fits-all solutions. We explore how trauma has affected your relationships, career, parenting, and self-image. Additionally, we examine cultural and family messages you received about emotions, boundaries, and self-worth. This comprehensive approach ensures that healing addresses all areas of your life. Many women report feeling “broken” or “damaged” by their trauma experiences. Trauma informed therapy challenges these harmful beliefs and helps you reclaim your inherent wholeness and resilience. ## What Can You Expect from Your First Session? Your initial trauma informed therapy session focuses primarily on building safety and understanding your goals. We’ll discuss what brought you to therapy without requiring detailed trauma narratives. Instead, we’ll explore what healing looks like for you and how we can work together to achieve it. You’ll learn about our approach and have opportunities to ask questions about the process. Most importantly, you’ll begin developing a sense of whether our therapeutic relationship feels safe and supportive for your unique needs. --- ## Frequently Asked Questions **Will I have to relive my trauma in therapy?** No. Trauma informed therapy focuses on healing without requiring you to repeatedly retell traumatic experiences. Many approaches such as EMDR or Brainspotting do not even require you to verbally talk about your experience. **How long does trauma informed therapy take?** Healing timelines vary greatly. Some women notice improvements within weeks, while others benefit from longer-term support. We’ll regularly check in about your progress and adjust accordingly. **Do all your therapists specialize in trauma?** Not all our therapists specialize in trauma, though many do! In fact, we have the highest number of EMDR therapists out of any practice in Philadelphia. However, every therapist at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia is specifically trained in trauma informed approaches regardless of their specialties. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** Brainspotting, EMDR, IFS, trauma, trauma informed therapy, Trauma therapy, trauma therapy for women --- ### [How to Ride Through Waves of Grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/03/how-to-ride-through-waves-of-grief/) **Published:** September 3, 2024 **Author:** Stephanie King, LPC **Content:** Grief is a profound, complex emotion that everyone will experience at some point in their life. While grief is a universal experience, it can affect everyone differently. One of the most perplexing aspects is how it feels as though there are waves of grief. Understanding why grief presents this way, and learning how to navigate it, is essential for healing. ![white woman riding waves of grief looking out a window with rain droplets](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Screen-Shot-2024-09-01-at-10.11.33-PM-675x1024.png) ## Why Does Grief Come in Waves? Grief is not a linear process. It does not follow a specific timeline, and there is no “right or wrong” way to grieve. Rather, grief comes in waves, or moments of intense emotion that can feel overwhelming, followed by periods of calm. This up and down can feel confusing, but remember that it is natural. ### The Brain’s Processing Mechanism When we experience loss, our brain works to process and make sense of it. However, our brains cannot handle the full weight of grief all at once. To protect us, it processes grief in segments, leading to wavelike experiences. During moments of calm, the brain is essentially giving itself a break, allowing us to function in our daily lives before the next wave hits. ### Triggering Memories Grief is triggered through memories, smells, sights, or tastes, and anniversaries. Triggers can appear suddenly, without warning, causing an unexpected wave of grief to wash over you. Even years after the loss, these triggers can still cause strong emotions. Grief is an ongoing, evolving experience. ### Emotional Energy Release Emotions are essentially energy, and grief is one of the most powerful emotional energies we can experience. Similar to actual waves in an ocean, this energy can build up over time and eventually needs to be released. When a wave of grief hits, it’s the body and mind’s way of releasing that pent-up emotional energy. This release can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a necessary part of the healing process. ### Resilience The wavelike nature of grief also reflects human resilience. Our emotions are in a constant state of fluctuation, and while grief can feel all-consuming, our minds and bodies are designed to seek balance. After a wave of intense grief, there can be a moment of emotional recovery. This cycle allows us to continue living and finding moments of peace and happiness in the midst of sorrow. ## Navigating the Waves of Grief ### **Acknowledge the Grief** It’s important to acknowledge the pain rather than suppressing it. Recognize that these waves are a natural part of the process, and it’s okay to feel them. Trying to ignore or push away grief is only going to lead to prolonged healing and emotional turmoil. ### **Lean on Support Systems** Grief can feel incredibly isolating, but remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or [support groups](https://evermore.org/loss-of-a-loved-one/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwodC2BhAHEiwAE67hJKOumkLb5P2MXqUj8DVv6HivyQvb3TqKbFN7eWu_CdUpj7z4m5wT6RoCDaQQAvD_BwE) who can offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes just knowing that someone else understands what you’re going through can make a big difference. ### **Rituals of Remembrance** Finding ways to honor the loss that you’re grieving can be a great way to process your emotions. This could look like writing, creating art, lighting a candle, or making a memorial. These acts can provide comfort and connection. ### **Allow Moments of Happiness** Grief does not mean you have to be sad all the time. Allow yourself to feel moments of joy, laughter, and happiness. Feeling these moments does not suppress your grief. It just allows you a moment of fresh air and the chance to build resilience to intense emotions. ### **Seek Mental Health Support** for Waves of Grief If the waves of grief become too overwhelming or persistent, seeking help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. Professional support can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your grief and move towards healing. Through time, patience, and professional support, you can effectively navigate the waves of grief. If you need help to navigate your grief, reach out today to schedule an appointment. At Therapy for Women Center, we have a number of [therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists) who specialize in grief and we would love to help you. **Categories:** Depression, Grief **Tags:** grief, mourning --- ### [Now Offering Therapy in Collingswood, NJ and South Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/04/24/now-offering-therapy-in-collingswood-nj-and-south-jersey/) **Published:** April 24, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** We’re excited to announce that our Philadelphia-based practice is expanding! Therapy in Collingswood, NJ is now available through [our brand new office](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/south-jersey-therapy/) in this charming town. While Therapy for Women has proudly served the greater Philadelphia area for years, we recognized the growing need for specialized therapy in Collingswood and surrounding South Jersey communities. Our New Jersey location offers the same evidence-based, compassionate care in a convenient setting right across the river. ## Why Choose Therapy in Collingswood, NJ Collingswood offers the perfect blend of accessibility and community for our new therapy space. Located just 10 minutes from Philadelphia, this location provides: - Easy access via PATCO train line for clients without cars - Convenient parking for those driving from Cherry Hill, Haddonfield, or Voorhees - A welcoming, walkable downtown with a supportive small-business atmosphere - The privacy and quiet setting that therapy requires We’ve worked with many clients based in South Jersey who were traveling to Philadelphia for specialized therapy services that weren’t readily available closer to home. Our Collingswood location bridges this gap. Having a local office is also helpful for New Jersey residents looking for a therapist licensed in their state. ## What to Expect at Our New Collingswood, NJ Office Our new South Jersey therapy space reflects the same warm, inclusive environment our Philadelphia and teletherapy clients have come to value. The Collingswood office features: - Private, comfortable therapy rooms designed for emotional safety - Flexible scheduling including evening and weekend appointments - The same evidence-based therapy approaches our practice is known for - A dedicated team of therapists specializing in women’s mental health We’ve also created a calm waiting area where you can gather your thoughts before sessions, complete with complimentary coffee, tea, soda and water. ![Therapy in Collingswood New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CB403614-683x1024.jpg) ## Specialized Women’s Therapy Services Now Available in South Jersey If you have struggled to find therapists specializing in women’s specific mental health needs in the South Jersey area, we have you covered! Our office in Collingswood now offers those specialized services including: - Trauma therapy including EMDR for Complex PTSD - Therapy for anxiety and depression specific to women’s experiences - Support for life transitions including career changes, motherhood, divorce, and empty nesting - Body image, eating disorder and self-esteem therapy - ERP therapy for OCD ## Finding the Right Therapist in Collingswood, NJ Finding a therapist who truly understands your needs can be challenging. Thankfully, we’ve carefully selected [our Collingswood team](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/?_location=collingswood-nj) to represent diverse approaches, and specialties. We’ll help match you with the therapist best suited to your unique situation. Consider asking potential therapists: 1. What experience do you have with my specific concerns? 2. What therapy approaches do you typically use? 3. How do you measure progress in therapy? 4. What does a typical session look like? We offer free phone consultations to help you determine if a therapist is the right fit before scheduling your first appointment. Click [here](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) to learn more! ## How to Begin Therapy with Our New Jersey Team Taking the first step toward therapy can feel daunting. Our streamlined process makes starting therapy in our Collingswood office simple: 1. Schedule a call or complete our [online form](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) 2. Get matched with the right therapist for your situation 3. Schedule your first appointment (often within 1 week) Our new Collingswood office is located at 900 Haddon Avenue, just two blocks from the [PATCO station](https://www.ridepatco.org/stations/routemap.html) and Collingswood’s vibrant downtown. To get more specific directions, click [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/collingswood-new-jersey/). Whether you’re in Collingswood, Cherry Hill, Haddonfield, Voorhees, or anywhere in South Jersey, we’re now here to support your mental health journey closer to home. Experience the difference that specialized therapy in Collingswood can make at Therapy for Women. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Collingswood, NJ, Office Locations, therapy for women, Therapy in New Jersey --- ### [How to Apologize and Actually Fix What's Broken in Four Steps](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/02/20/how-to-apologize/) **Published:** February 20, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You know you messed up. Maybe you said something cutting during an argument, or realized too late that your actions caused more pain than you intended. You want to make it right, but you’re not sure how to apologize in a way that actually means something. Learning how to apologize well is one of the most underrated relationship skills out there. A [2016 study from Ohio State University](https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/) found that the most effective apologies contain up to six components, but only one is truly essential: acknowledging responsibility. Not explaining yourself. Not defending your intentions. Owning what happened. ![Couple hugging each other struggling with how to apologize ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/we-will-get-through-this-together-scaled.jpg) ## Why Most Apologies Don’t Actually Work If you’re trying to figure out how to apologize after a conflict, here’s what usually goes wrong. Someone tells you that you’ve hurt them, and your first instinct is to explain why. “I didn’t mean it that way.” “That wasn’t my intention.” “You’re misunderstanding me.” These aren’t apologies. They’re defenses dressed up as concern. And while your intent might genuinely be good, leading with it sends a clear message: your comfort matters more than their pain. Think of it this way. If someone steps on your foot, it still hurts whether they meant to or not. You’d want them to acknowledge the pain before explaining why they weren’t watching where they were going. Right? Emotional harm works the same way. Intent matters eventually. But impact has to come first. ## How to Apologize Without Making It About You The biggest mistake people make when apologizing is centering their own guilt. Saying things like “I feel so terrible about this” or “I can’t believe I did that, I’m such an awful person” might feel like remorse. But it flips the script. Suddenly the person you hurt is managing *your* feelings on top of their own. A genuine apology puts the other person’s experience front and center. Before you say anything, listen. Ask them to tell you what happened from their side. And then resist the urge to correct, clarify, or defend. Just hear them. This is harder than it sounds. When someone we love tells us we’ve caused harm, it triggers shame, and shame makes us want to shrink, explain, or fight back. But if you want to repair the relationship, you have to sit with that discomfort long enough to really hear what they’re saying. In [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT),](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/) this is a core skill: noticing difficult emotions without letting them hijack your behavior. Instead of reacting from guilt, you choose to respond from your values. If you value this relationship, the values-driven choice is to listen and repair, not to protect your ego. ## Four Parts of an Apology That Actually Means Something ### Not all apologies carry the same weight. A meaningful one includes four elements: **Name what you did, specifically.** Not “I’m sorry if I hurt you” (that’s conditional) or “I’m sorry you feel that way” (that puts it back on them). Try: “I’m sorry I dismissed what you were telling me and raised my voice when you tried to explain.” **Acknowledge the impact.** Show them you understand what your behavior actually caused. “I know that made you feel unheard and disrespected. I can see why you’ve been pulling away from me since then.” **Express genuine empathy.** Put yourself in their position. “If someone I trusted spoke to me like that, I’d feel hurt too. I’d question whether they really valued me.” **Ask what they need.** Instead of pushing for immediate forgiveness, try: “What would help you feel safe with me again?” or “What do you need from me right now?” This gives them agency. It also shows you’re willing to do the work, not just say the words. ## How to Apologize When the Harm Wasn’t Intentional Sometimes you genuinely didn’t mean to hurt someone. That’s real, and it’s worth acknowledging to yourself. But it doesn’t erase the impact. You can hold both truths at the same time: you didn’t mean it, and they’re still hurt. These aren’t contradictory. Recognizing their pain doesn’t mean admitting you’re a terrible person. It means you understand that impact doesn’t always match intention. Once the other person feels heard, there’s room to gently share your perspective. “I want you to know I didn’t intend for that to happen, and I’m going to be more thoughtful going forward.” But timing matters. Lead with their experience. Your intent can come later. ## When Sorry Isn’t the Whole Answer Words matter, but they only go so far. Real repair shows up in changed behavior over time. If you apologize for being dismissive and then keep doing it, the apology loses all meaning. It also takes two people. One person committed to accountability and genuine follow-through. And another person willing to be honest about what they need, and who can recognize real effort when they see it. If you keep ending up in the same conflict cycle, or if guilt and shame are making it hard to show up the way you want to, outside support can make a real difference. Therapists trained in DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills help you learn to communicate through conflict without losing yourself. ACT-based therapy helps you work through shame spirals so you can stop defending and start repairing. ## You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone If you’re here because you keep replaying a conversation in your head, wondering how to fix something that feels broken, that matters. The fact that you’re thinking about how to apologize means you care about doing it well. Our therapists at Therapy for Women Center work with individuals (and couples!) who are untangling relationship patterns, building stronger communication skills, and learning to sit with hard emotions instead of being controlled by them. [Contact us](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) to schedule a session with a therapist who gets it. **Categories:** Anxiety, Relationships **Tags:** apologize, apology, couples counseling, relationships --- ### [How to Stop Spiraling Thoughts & Feel Better](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/14/how-to-stop-spiraling-thoughts-why-you-spiral/) **Published:** July 14, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** It’s 2 a.m. You’re replaying one sentence your coworker said in a meeting nine hours ago. You’ve analyzed her tone from every angle. You’ve drafted six responses. And somehow you’re further from peace than when you started. Spiraling thoughts promise you an answer and then keep moving the finish line. ![Woman struggling with spiraling thoughts ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/pexels-airamdphoto-37823829-scaled.jpg) ## What Are Spiraling Thoughts, Really? They have a clinical name: rumination. Psychologist [Susan Nolen-Hoeksema](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25581241/) defined it as passively and repeatedly focusing on your distress, its causes, and its consequences, while never doing the active problem-solving that might actually change anything. Read that last part twice. That’s the whole trap. Her research, later expanded with Katie McLaughlin in *Behaviour Research and Therapy*, found rumination predicts the onset of both [depression and anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/). Spiraling thoughts aren’t a quirk of your personality, they’re a thinking mechanism, which can be changed. ## Why Do Spiraling Thoughts Feel Like Problem-Solving? When you spiral, your brain thinks it’s working. Every loop feels productive. *If I just figure out what she meant, I’ll know how to fix it. If I can pinpoint where I went wrong, this won’t happen again.* It has the texture of effort. It even has the texture of responsibility. But real problem-solving has an output. It produces a decision, an action, an email you actually send. Rumination produces more rumination. You circle the same block for three hours and call it a road trip. Spiraling thoughts are motion without direction. That’s why “just stop thinking about it” fails so completely. You’re not choosing to spiral. Your brain is chasing a resolution it believes is one lap away, and it will not put the problem down until it gets one. ## Do Women Really Spiral More Than Men? A meta-analysis found women do ruminate more, though the difference is smaller than you’d expect. So the gap alone doesn’t explain much. What does explain something is a [study ](https://www.ovid.com/journals/pswqu/abstract/10.1111/1471-6402.00005~mediators-of-the-gender-difference-in-rumination?redirectionsource=fulltextview)Nolen-Hoeksema ran with Benita Jackson in 2001. They found the gender difference in rumination disappeared once you accounted for three beliefs. That emotions are largely uncontrollable. That you’re personally responsible for the emotional tone of your relationships. And that you have little mastery over bad things when they happen. If you’ve absorbed the idea that everyone’s feelings are somehow your job, then replaying that meeting for three hours is doing what you were taught. That belief was installed, but it can also be examined. ## What Do Spiraling Thoughts Look Like at 2 a.m.? Spiraling thoughts don’t always announce themselves. They dress up as other things: - Rehearsing a conversation you’ll never have - Reading a two-word text forty times, hunting for tone - Building elaborate future disasters and then problem-solving them - Reviewing something you said in 2019 and cringing all over again - Googling symptoms, again - Checking, and checking, and checking ## How Do You Stop Spiraling Thoughts in the Moment? You can’t think your way out of a thinking problem. So the tools that work on spiraling thoughts come at it sideways. #### Name it out loud Say it: “I’m spiraling.” It sounds almost too small. But naming the process pulls you up out of the content, and the content is where the trap lives. You stop being inside the story and start being someone watching a story. That’s the whole move. #### Use the two-question test Ask yourself: Is there an action I could take in the next ten minutes? And if I take it, will I feel finished? If yes, take it. Send the email. Make the call. That’s problem-solving, and you should go do it. If no, you’re not solving. You’re spiraling. And once you can tell the two apart, the loop loses some of its authority over you. #### Interrupt the body first Your nervous system is running hot, and a hot nervous system generates more thoughts to justify itself. Go the other direction. Cold water on your wrists. A brisk walk around the block. A slow exhale that’s twice as long as your inhale. They lower the volume enough that you can stop chasing it. #### Give it a container Pick fifteen minutes tomorrow. Same time each day, not at night. Write down the thing you’re spiraling on and close the notebook. When the loop starts again at 11 p.m., you get to say: not now. We do this at seven. Your brain fights it for about a week. Then it starts to trust you. ### What Actually Helps Long Term? The tools above are triage. When spiraling thoughts run your evenings, therapy goes after the machinery underneath. Consider talking to someone when: - The loops cost you sleep more nights than not - You’ve stopped doing things you used to enjoy - The spiraling is bleeding into work or your relationships - You’ve tried every trick and the loop still wins ### You Can Get Off the Loop Spiraling thoughts feel permanent when you’re inside one. But rumination is a learned response, and learned responses can be unlearned with the right help. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia work with women who are tired of losing their nights to their own minds. We see clients in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, and Collingswood and virtually with [online therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/online-therapy/). [Get started today!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Anxiety, Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, depression, Rumination, Spiraling, Stop Spiraling --- ### [How to Actually Get Over a Breakup](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/21/how-to-get-over-a-breakup-and-why-it-takes-so-long/) **Published:** July 21, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** It’s been four months. You’re sleeping again, mostly. You’ve gone whole days without thinking about them, and then a song comes on in the grocery store and suddenly you’re standing in the cereal aisle with your chest caving in. If you can’t seem to get over a breakup on the timeline you set for yourself, there’s a reason. It has almost nothing to do with willpower. ![Woman struggling to get over a breakup. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/pexels-rdne-6670111-scaled.jpg) ## Why Does It Take So Long to Get Over a Breakup? Everyone around you has a number. Half the length of the relationship. Three months. A year for every year. These rules get passed around like they’re science, but they aren’t. The pressure to get over a breakup on a deadline is something we made up. What we actually know is that grief after a relationship ends doesn’t move in a straight line. It moves in waves, and those waves get further apart over time, but they rarely disappear on schedule. So when month five arrives and you’re still crying in your car, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or stuck. It means your nervous system hasn’t finished doing something that takes as long as it takes. Here’s what makes this particular [grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/grief-counseling/) so disorienting. When someone dies, the world stops and acknowledges it. People bring casseroles. Nobody expects you to be fine. But when a relationship ends, you’re expected back at work on Monday with a functional face, even though you’ve lost a person, a home base, and an entire imagined life all at once. The loss is enormous. The permission to grieve it is tiny. ## What’s Actually Happening in Your Brain After a Breakup? In 2010, researchers at [Rutgers and Stony Brook](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20445032/) put fifteen recently rejected people into an fMRI scanner and showed them photos of the person who’d left them. On average, these participants were about two months out. Looking at their ex activated the ventral tegmental area, a dopamine-rich region deep in the midbrain that’s also central to craving and addiction. The pull you feel toward your phone at 1 a.m. isn’t a character flaw. Your brain is running a reward-seeking program, and the reward it wants is a person who isn’t coming back. That’s why “just don’t text them” feels less like a decision and more like white-knuckling it. You’re not weak. You’re in withdrawal, and nobody warned you that trying to get over a breakup would feel like this. It also explains why you keep replaying the same three conversations. Your brain is searching for the missing piece that will make the loss make sense, because if it can find it, maybe the reward comes back. Rumination isn’t you being dramatic. It’s a search function that won’t shut off. ## Why “Just Keep Busy” Doesn’t Help You Get Over a Breakup The internet is full of advice. Some of it’s good. Unfollow them, box up their sweatshirt, go no contact for a while. We’d say all of that to a friend, and we’d mean it. But most of that advice quietly assumes one thing: that if you can stop feeling it long enough, the feeling will go away. That’s where it falls apart. Distraction is genuinely useful in the right dose. A walk, a friend, a movie, a long shift at work. These give you breaks between the harder moments so you have the energy to face them. Numbing is different. Numbing is the second bottle of wine, the doom scroll that eats four hours, the new person you don’t even like. And numbing works, right up until it doesn’t, because the grief you refuse to process doesn’t leave. It waits, and then it comes out sideways at people who had nothing to do with it. So if you’ve been white-knuckling your way through every tip on every list and you still can’t get over a breakup, the problem probably isn’t your discipline. It might be that nobody’s helped you actually feel the thing yet. ## What Are You Actually Grieving? Ask most women what they miss and they’ll name the person. Then they’ll pause, and something more complicated comes out. You’re grieving the future. The holidays you’d already mapped out, the kids you talked about, the version of your life where this was settled. You built that future in your head, brick by brick, and now you’re standing in the rubble of a house that never existed. You might also be grieving a version of yourself. The woman who was chosen. The one with a person to text when something funny happened. And if the relationship involved betrayal or emotional abuse, you may be grieving your own certainty, because now you’re second-guessing every read you had on the situation. None of that shows up in a breakup playlist. All of it deserves real attention. Until you name what you actually lost, it’s hard to get over a breakup in any way that lasts. ## What Actually Helps You Get Over a Breakup? Now the practical part. There’s no clean formula to get over a breakup, and none of this will make you feel better tonight. They work because they line up with what’s actually happening in your nervous system instead of fighting it. ### Ride the urge instead of obeying it If the craving research is right, the pull to text them behaves like any other craving. Cravings spike, peak, and fall. Most of them crest within about twenty minutes if you don’t feed them. So the next time your thumb is hovering over their name, try this. Set a timer for twenty minutes and do not delete the message you wrote. Just don’t send it yet. Go do something with your hands. When the timer goes off, read it again and decide. You’ll be shocked how often you don’t want to send it anymore. And every time you ride one of those waves out, the next one loses a little power. That’s not willpower. That’s your brain slowly learning the reward isn’t coming. ### Give your rumination a container You can’t stop replaying the relationship by deciding to stop. Your brain is searching for an answer, and it will keep searching whether you approve or not. What you can do is contain it. Pick fifteen minutes a day, same time, ideally not at night. Sit down with a notebook and let yourself go all the way in. Write every question, every what-if, every version of the conversation you wish you’d had. When the timer ends, close the notebook. Then, when the thoughts show up at 3 p.m. in the middle of a meeting, you get to say: not now, we do this at seven. It sounds too simple to work. Do it for two weeks anyway. ### Know the difference between distraction and numbing Here’s a test we give clients. After you do the thing, do you feel more able to face what you’re feeling, or less? A walk, a friend, a break, those refuel you. You come back to the grief with a little more capacity. That’s distraction, and it’s good self-care. The third glass of wine, the four-hour scroll, the person you’re seeing who you don’t even like. Those leave you emptier and further from yourself. That’s numbing, and the grief you outrun tonight is waiting for you tomorrow, usually with interest. Be honest about which one you’ve been doing. Most of us know. You can’t get over a breakup you’re actively running from. ### Rebuild the shape of your day Relationships don’t just give you a person. They give you structure. Someone to eat dinner with, a reason to be home, a body next to you that regulates your nervous system without either of you thinking about it. When that goes, your days lose their scaffolding, and the empty hours are where the grief pools. Start small and start with your body, because that’s the part of you taking the hardest hit. One anchored meal. A bedtime you actually keep. Twenty minutes outside, even when you don’t want to, especially when you don’t want to. Then add one thing that’s yours alone: a class, a standing Thursday with a friend, the hobby you dropped somewhere in year two. You’re rebuilding a life that doesn’t have a hole shaped like them in the middle of it. This is the slow, unglamorous work that helps women get over a breakup for real. ## When Does Therapy Help You Get Over a Breakup? Everything above helps. But sometimes you need more and therapy gives you tools with real evidence behind them. Here are some clear signals that you may need more support: - Months have passed and the intensity hasn’t shifted at all - You can’t work, eat, or sleep the way you used to - You’re using alcohol, food, or new relationships to avoid feeling it - You keep going back, even though you know how it ends - You’re having thoughts of hurting yourself (please reach out today, not eventually) ## You Won’t Feel This Way Forever We know it doesn’t feel that way at 2 a.m. But the women we work with at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia (and online) almost always reach a point where they look back and realize the ache stopped being the loudest thing in the room. It usually happens gradually, and then all at once. You don’t have to white-knuckle it alone. Our therapists in Philadelphia, Bala Cynwyd, Collingswood, and across South Jersey work with women in exactly this place, and we offer virtual sessions too. Ready to stop waiting for time to fix it? [Get in touch](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) today to schedule a session. **Categories:** Relationships **Tags:** anxiety, breakup, breakups, how to get over someone, relationships --- ### [How To Manage Back to School Anxiety with Teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/21/how-to-manage-back-to-school-anxiety-with-teens/) **Published:** August 21, 2024 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** No matter how old we get, it seems that August always brings up feelings of new beginnings. The sun is shining and trees are green, but we can’t seem to shake the thought that there is a shift in the air. With fall on the way, it’s a feeling we can sometimes still experience as adults. Our brains have learned that this time of year means new routines are starting. It can be both exciting and scary. Regardless of what grade your child is entering, it is common for teens to feel back to school anxiety. I would know… just ask my mom. ![4 teens starting the school year feeling back to school anxiety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/high-angle-view-group-high-school-friends-hanging-out-after-class-scaled.jpg) ## How to Help Your Teen Cope with Back to School Anxiety ### Normalize Their Feelings Your teen may feel a general sense of unease the few days before school begins. It is important to remember that back to school anxiety is a combination of excitement *and* nerves! It makes sense to feel both of these things. Help your teen by acknowledging these feelings about the transition. Even if they’re excited about certain aspects of back to school (like seeing friends again), a lot of times anxiety can feel like an overall sense of impending doom. You can help them hold space for the overwhelming feelings by offering support; “I know it feels scary, you’ve got this”. As much as you want to solve the anxiety for them, know that it is okay to let them sit in the discomfort. Offer them support in normalizing the feelings. The last thing an anxious teen (or really any teen) wants is an onslaught of questions. In fact, anxiety is only as harmful as we let it be. As illustrated in the blockbuster hit “[Inside Out 2](https://movies.disney.com/inside-out-2)”, if we work to root ourselves in Joy rather than imagined scenarios, anxiety will lessen. ### Quell Back To School Anxiety with Excitement and Kindness Once you have helped them acknowledge both feelings, we can start to feed the excitement to let it grow. I may be in my 30s but I still feel the tingle of walking down the school supply aisle every year. Get them excited about starting a new grade by emphasizing how proud you are of what they have accomplished. By showing them self kindness, we can teach our kids resilience against their anxiety. Help them pick out a specific first day of school outfit to be excited about, or a new pack of really cool pens. Make a ritual out of an end of summer activity to help your kid transition into saying farewell to the time off. That could be a themed dinner at home, or take a fun family trip to cement the end of the summer break. Creating a ritual can help lessen the shock of a brand new schedule and ease their back to school anxiety. ### Practice The Transition For some kids, it may also be helpful to start the week before school transitioning back into the school year groove. A regular bedtime can help combat the fatigue of the ungodly morning hours. Keep talking to your teenager about school and help them get back in the mindset of a Monday-Friday routine. Explain to them what to expect and ways in which things may look different. Lastly, focus on their strengths to help ground them in old skills to cement that they are capable of doing hard things! ## Try Therapy for Back to School Anxiety If you see your teen continues to struggle, remember it is okay to reach out for help. School counselors can be a great lifeline for these transitional periods. They can help refer you to resources should your child need more support. At Therapy for Women Center, we have licensed therapists who are experts at working with teens and their families. We would be honored to work with your teen and support them with back to school anxiety. [Click here ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/teens/)to learn more about our approach. As hard as it may be to see your child struggle after a fun summer, remind yourself too that anxiety is not something to be afraid of. The beginning of the year is stressful so there is no need to be concerned when feelings may arise. Above all, model self kindness for hard feelings to help your kids normalize strong emotions and remember to seek support if needed. --- *Becca Adlerberg, LPC is a licensed therapist specializing in working with women and teens with anxiety, ADHD, and LGBTQ+ issues. She is a virtual therapist licensed in Pennsylvania and Vermont. [Click here to learn more about her.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/)* **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** anxiety, back to school, For parents, teens --- ### [Important Things to Know About Emotional Blunting From A Psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2026/07/28/important-things-to-know-about-emotional-blunting-from-a-psychiatrist/) **Published:** July 28, 2026 **Author:** Eli Muhrer, MD **Content:** You started the medication because you needed help, and it’s working in some ways. The dark cloud lifted. You’re sleeping again. But lately, you’ve noticed something else: the color has gone out of everything. You can’t cry when you want to, you can’t feel much when something good happens, and the people you love feel a little further away than they used to. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing emotional blunting, and it’s worth bringing up with your psychiatrist. ![woman feeling emotional blunting from SSRI ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/high-angle-woman-practicing-facial-yoga-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Emotional Blunting? Emotional blunting is a reduction in emotional responsiveness, often described as a dulling or flattening of feelings. It can mean you don’t cry when you want to, don’t feel much joy when something good happens, or feel more detached from people and experiences than you used to. For many individuals on SSRIs or SNRIs, this shows up gradually. You might notice it weeks or months after starting a medication. The depression has lifted, which is a real relief. But the full emotional range that used to come with being a person hasn’t come back with it. This is more common than most people realize. According to a[ 2017 survey](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28628765/), 46% of depressed patients on antidepressants reported this experience. It’s well-documented in research, and you’re not imagining it. If your flatness predates any medication, you may be dealing with emotional numbness more broadly, which we cover in \[a separate post here\]. ## Emotional Blunting vs Flat Affect: What’s the Difference? People often use these terms interchangeably, but they describe different things. Flat affect is something a clinician observes from the outside. Your facial expressions may look unchanging, your voice may lack variation in tone, and your body language may seem wooden. Clinicians commonly see flat affect in conditions like schizophrenia, severe depression, or Parkinson’s disease. Emotional blunting, on the other hand, is about the internal experience. You know how you used to feel. You remember the range. Right now, though, you can’t access it. You might still laugh at a joke or cry at a commercial, so your affect may not look flat to anyone else. Inside, something is muted. Understanding the blunting vs flat affect distinction matters because it changes the conversation with your psychiatrist. Blunting often points to a medication side effect. Flat affect more often points to the underlying condition itself. ### What Does It Feel Like on Medication? Women who’ve experienced this side effect describe it in similar ways. Here’s what it can look like: - Your feelings show up as faint signals instead of clear emotions - Moments that used to move you, like weddings, songs, or big life events, barely land - You feel less anxious, but also less alive - Motivation for things you used to love has quietly disappeared - Intimacy with your partner feels more distant than it did before - Crying feels impossible even when you want the release - You describe yourself as “fine” but suspect fine isn’t quite the word ## Why SSRIs Can Cause Emotional Blunting SSRIs work by increasing serotonin availability in the brain, which can relieve depression and anxiety for many people. But the same mechanism that turns down painful emotions can also turn down pleasant ones. Serotonin isn’t selective in the way we might wish it were. The blunting effect tends to be dose-dependent. Higher doses often produce more blunting. Some SSRIs are more associated with it than others, though research suggests it occurs across the class to varying degrees. Also worth knowing: the medication isn’t always the cause. Residual [depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/depression-therapy/), chronic stress, and [trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma-therapy/) can all contribute. That’s part of why the conversation with your psychiatrist matters, because the cause shapes the solution. ### When to Talk to Your Psychiatrist If the blunting is bothering you, bring it up. Psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse practitioners can’t adjust what they don’t know about, and many patients never mention this side effect because they assume it’s just how the medication works. Consider scheduling a conversation if: - You’ve noticed emotional flatness for more than a few weeks - You’re considering stopping your medication because of how numb you feel - The blunting is affecting your relationships, work, or sense of self - You’re unsure whether what you’re feeling is the medication or residual depression Options your psychiatrist might discuss include adjusting your dose, switching to a medication with a lower blunting profile, adding something to your existing regimen, or combining medication with therapy to address the underlying causes. These are decisions you make together, not on your own. Stopping an SSRI abruptly can cause real problems, so your prescriber should guide any change. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, [our in-house psychiatric prescribers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist/) work closely with our therapy team. We understand emotional blunting as both a medical and emotional experience, and we treat it as a signal worth exploring rather than a side effect you have to tolerate. If you’ve been feeling flat, disconnected, or like the medication is helping and hurting at the same time, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Contact Therapy for Women Center to get started. **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** anxiety, depression, emotional blunting, Philadelphia psychiatrist, psych meds, Psych NP, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Psychiatrist, psychiatry, ssris --- ### [What is Happiness Anxiety and How to Cope](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/10/what-is-happiness-anxiety-and-how-to-cope/) **Published:** September 10, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** As a licensed therapist, I’ve encountered many individuals who struggle with an unexpected form of [anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety-therapy/). It’s not the fear of failure or social situations that troubles them, but rather the fear of happiness itself. This phenomenon, known as happiness anxiety, can significantly impact a person’s well-being and quality of life. ![woman drinking coffee with a friend experiencing happiness anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/young-women-drinking-iced-coffee-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Happiness Anxiety Happiness anxiety refers to the fear or apprehension of experiencing positive emotions or good fortune. People with this form of anxiety often feel uncomfortable or anxious when things are going well in their lives. They may worry that their happiness won’t last or that something bad will happen to balance out the good. **This paradoxical fear can stem from various sources:** 1. Past experiences of disappointment 2. A belief that happiness is fleeting 3. Fear of losing control 4. Trauma or negative life events 5. Cultural or family influences Individuals with happiness anxiety might engage in self-sabotaging behaviors or avoid situations that could bring joy, ultimately hindering their ability to fully experience and appreciate positive aspects of life. ## Signs and Symptoms of Happiness Anxiety Recognizing happiness anxiety is the first step towards addressing it. Common signs and symptoms include: - Feeling uneasy or anxious when things are going well - Constantly waiting for the “other shoe to drop” - Difficulty accepting compliments or good news - Downplaying achievements or positive experiences - Avoiding activities or situations that might bring happiness - Physical symptoms like increased heart rate or sweating when experiencing positive emotions - Intrusive thoughts about potential negative outcomes during happy moments If you find yourself experiencing these symptoms regularly, you might be dealing with happiness anxiety. ## The Impact of Happiness Anxiety on Mental Health Happiness anxiety can have significant repercussions on your overall mental health and well-being. Some potential impacts include: 1. Chronic stress and tension 2. Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships 3. Reduced life satisfaction 4. Increased risk of depression 5. Missed opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment 6. Lower self-esteem and self-worth By consistently avoiding or minimizing positive experiences, individuals with happiness anxiety may inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy of unhappiness. ## Coping Strategies for Happiness Anxiety If you’re struggling with happiness anxiety, there are several strategies you can employ to manage your symptoms and work towards embracing positive emotions: 1. **Practice Mindfulness:** Focus on the present moment without judgment. This can help you fully experience and appreciate positive emotions as they occur. 2. **Gradual Exposure:** Slowly increase your exposure to situations that bring joy. Start small and work your way up to more significant experiences. 3. **Keep a Gratitude Journal:** Regularly write down things you’re grateful for. Sometimes we can feel scared to fully feel our gratitude if we have happiness anxiety. It can feel as though if we allow ourselves to relish in gratitude, those things will go away. However, [studies](https://www.globalleadership.org/article/brene-brown-on-joy-and-gratitude) show the more you practice gratitude, the more you will experience joy. 4. **Practice Self-Compassion:** Be kind to yourself when you experience anxiety about happiness. Remember that it’s okay to feel good and that you deserve happiness. 5. **Build a Support System:** Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can encourage you to embrace positive experiences. ## Overcoming Happiness Anxiety: A Journey of Self-Discovery Overcoming happiness anxiety is a process that requires patience, self-reflection, and often professional support. As you work through your anxiety, consider the following steps: 1. **Identify Your Triggers:** Pay attention to situations or thoughts that spark your happiness anxiety. Understanding your triggers can help you develop targeted coping strategies. 2. **Explore the Root Causes:** Reflect on past experiences or beliefs that might contribute to your fear of happiness. This self-exploration can provide valuable insights for healing. 3. **Set Realistic Expectations:** Remember that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions, including both positive and negative ones. Aim for a balanced perspective rather than constant happiness. 4. **Seek Professional Help:** A mental health professional can provide personalized guidance and support as you navigate happiness anxiety. At Therapy for Women Center, we have [therapists ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/)who can help. ## Embracing Happiness: Your Path Forward It’s important to remember that happiness is not a constant state, but rather a series of moments to be appreciated. Feeling anxious sometimes, even about good things, is a normal part of the human experience. You deserve to experience joy and fulfillment in your life, and it’s crucial to remind yourself of this fact regularly. The journey may be challenging at times, but the reward of embracing happiness is well worth the effort. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, happiness anxiety --- ### [Why Do We Get Sad on Birthdays? How to Beat the Birthday Blues](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/06/17/beating-the-birthday-blues/) **Published:** June 17, 2021 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** I don’t know about you but with another year around the sun I can start to feel my birthday blues approaching. It is going to be a “milestone” birthday and I will be the first to admit that I have good years and bad years when it comes to my day of birth! What do I mean when I say good years and bad years?! Well sometimes I’m really excited for my birthday and want to celebrate. Other years I have panic attacks the days leading up to and including my birthday. I’ve denied how old I am for a number of years (cough cough I’m 29… again) and I get sad/depressed. Ten years ago, I had a complete meltdown, cried, thought I was “old” and just utterly felt lost. For a number of reasons, none having to do with my age, it was one of the hardest years of my life. ![Woman blowing out birthday candles after dealing with birthday blues](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/birthday-blues-1.jpg) So as the countdown begins to my birthday it caused me to do a little thinking, and some research into why I get like this. And drumroll please… ANXIETY!! Ahh anxiety… cue “Hello darkness, my old friend!”. ## What Causes the Birthday Blues? So here are a few reason why we get anxious… our mortality, we are afraid of getting old and death. We question if we are important to people and worry, “will they remember it’s MY birthday,” this leads to negative internal conversations which usually go something like “if they don’t remember, does that mean they don’t really like/care about me?!”, no, people are busy and forget dates often. Other reasons we freak out are heightened expectations, feelings of lack of accomplishments, social pressures, “milestone” birthdays, social media and overall less excitement as we get older. ## 6 Tips to Cope With Birthday Blues… ### 1. Lower your expectations If you build something up in your head and it doesn’t go exactly as planned you will feel disappointed and focus on what didn’t go right versus what you did do and what went well. Humans are negative and we focus on the negative, especially when we have one idea in our head and it does not happen. So lower your expectations, less is more! ### 2. Reflect on your accomplishments from the past year Write down the things you have done this year. They can be big or small, if you remember them they count and mean something to you! ### 3. Beat birthday blues by imagining the future Write a list of 5-10 things you want to accomplish this year, personally, and professionally. Once you have written them down you can start planning out what steps you will take to accomplish these goals! To figure out what steps you need to take, trying using SMART goals,, because they are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic/relevant and Time-bound. ### 4. Let people know you want to celebrate (if you do) Your friends and family can’t meet your needs if you do not tell them!! They are not mind readers, so they won’t know if you want to do something or not unless you speak up. Also, it is annoying when people start to ask you what you want to do and you’re like “IDK”, but we all know we have some idea about what we do or don’t want to do for our birthdays!! ### 5. Do something fun/special for yourself & be easy with yourself Take the day off, get a mani/pedi, treat yourself to breakfast, buy the flowers, etc. Don’t wait for others to plan something, or suggest something! Speak up!! It is your birthday after all, and it’s a great day to be nice to yourself and to treat yourself! ### 6. Diversify your feed Thankfully we live in an age where more people form all different walks of life are online. There are even pro-aging influencers. Imagine how you want your life to be like when you are 60, 70 or 80 years old. Follow people who are that age who you admire (and not because of how they look!). This can help you remember that your life is absolutely still worth living as you age. I love Lyn Slater and her book, *[“How to be Old.”](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/710504/how-to-be-old-by-lyn-slater/)* Remember, there are a lot of people who feel the birthday blues. You are not alone. But it is up to you to cherish it and spend your birthday however you want, with whomever you want! Also, don’t forget age is just a number, you’re as young as you feel on any given day!! --- *Gabrielle is Therapy for Women’s Clinical Director and specializes in anxiety, depression, eating disorders, health anxiety, and OCD. To learn more about Gabrielle, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/gabby-salomone-lcsw).* **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** birthday blues, current events, depression --- ### [How to Set Effective and Compassionate Boundaries](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2019/10/12/compassionate-boundaries/) **Published:** October 12, 2019 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/SBH_Amanda_Headshots_0830-683x1024.jpg) It seems that a lot of us struggle setting boundaries in various parts of our everyday lives, so I thought this week we’d expand on that! **Setting Boundaries is a Sign of Self Respect** When we find it difficult to set boundaries, many times it’s because we feel like if we do, we’re not being respectful to the other people involved. In reality, if we don’t set boundaries the person we’re disrespecting most is *ourselves.* Think about it, it’s your time that isn’t being used how you planned. Or comfort level that isn’t being respected. Or mental health needs that aren’t being met. When we learn how to set boundaries in a healthy way, we are respecting ourselves, as well as making room for an honest and realistic relationship with others around us that won’t cause burnout. **Let’s look at an example:** You made dinner plans with your friends that you’re so excited about! You haven’t seen them in weeks due to conflicting schedules. At 3:30, your boss asks if you can stay late tonight to finish up a project. There are two immediate ways that you could resolve this conflict: a.) Tell your boss you can stay late. You don’t want to disrespect them by telling them you already had plans, and you don’t want them to think you’re not committed to the job. You might have to miss part or all of dinner with your friends. b.) Let your boss know that you’re sorry, but you aren’t able to stay late. Try to come up with a different resolution to the problem together. It’s probably clear to most of us that Option A is the easier choice – we’ve all been there! Nobody wants to look bad in front of their bosses, and dinner with friends may not seem like a good enough excuse to leave work. But when we think through the scenario, we see that we aren’t respecting the plans we made with ourselves (or with our friends). We know that we’re team players at work, and that had we had further notice there would’ve been a greater chance that we could stay late and help…so let’s just tell our boss that! “I’m sorry, but I’m not able to work past 5:30 today. In the future, I’d be open to staying late to work on projects, but I’d really appreciate a few more days notice so I can work my schedule around it”BOOM. Boundary set. Your boss knows that you’re serious about the work you do for them, but that you’re also serious about your boundaries. ### **What are some other amazing side effects to setting boundaries?** People are going to be much more likely to respect your boundaries from the start if you’ve shown them how important they are to you. Say your Mom keeps calling during work hours, and that’s not something you’re comfortable with. The longer you skirt around the problem, or downplay it as a preference, the more she’ll call you without thinking twice about it. The sooner you can set your boundary by saying “Mom, I’d love to talk to you about this, but please do not call me during work hours anymore” the sooner she’ll realize how serious you are. Give her a call after work, or tell her what times you *are* available. These are all things that can set a boundary, while helping manifest healthy habits in that relationship. ## Here are some prompts to journal on that could help you with setting boundaries. - What is the boundary I want to set here? - Why is this boundary important to me? - What are some alternative options I can give this person? - It could be a better time to talk, a different option for how to communicate, or nothing! (Sometimes we don’t need to explain ourselves!) - How will I benefit from setting this boundary? - How will my relationship with the other person benefit from setting this boundary? ## A Few Quick Tips on Boundary Setting 1\. Avoid using the word “but”. The word “but” often creates a situation where the person on the receiving end feels like the first part of your sentence is negated. Think of the example “I love you but I need space.” Replace it with AND and this allows the feeling that both parts of the sentence are EQUALLY importance. “I love you and I need space.” 2\. Avoid labeling or name calling If you call the person you are trying to set a boundary with “needy” or “annoying” or any other unflattering adjective, they are likely to go into defense mode. Stick with how you feel. 3\. Start with empathy if possible. If you have a “soft start” to your boundary and start by acknowledging the person or how much you care about them, it can make the boundary much more effective. ## Concluding Thoughts Thank you so much for reading, and I hope this gave you some accessible tips and steps to take in order to establish healthy boundaries in your life! To learn more [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact), or [book an appointment](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/). **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** boundaries, burnout, people pleasing, self care --- ### [Surviving Grief: 10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/05/26/grief-ten-things-ive-learned-in-ten-years/) **Published:** May 26, 2023 **Author:** Stephanie King, LPC **Content:** Grief- what a ride. It’s not a ride that anyone asks to be on, but it’s something we will all experience in our lives to some degree. If you’re lucky, it won’t be until you are old and gray. My first experience with gut wrenching, life changing grief came 10 years ago (how has it been 10 years?!) when my dad passed away. It’s not something anyone can prepare you for. But, it does remind you how much you have loved. **There is no grief without love.** As a way to honor my dad, I reflected on my decade of grief and compiled a list of things I’ve learned. My hope is that this makes someone else’s experience feel more “normal,” or that it helps someone who is new to grief. I especially hope that we can learn to talk about grief instead of shying away from it. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/grief.jpg) ## 10 Things to Know About Grief ### 1. The world continues on This seems obvious at first. But it’s truly shocking how everyone carries on when your world has just stopped. You can’t blame anyone for not feeling your pain…but HOW can they not feel it when it’s ALL you are feeling? I remember being at a party shortly after my dad’s passing. Everyone was laughing, the music was loud, and people were dancing. I looked around and wanted to scream, “don’t you people know that my dad just died!!” And they did know. But, it didn’t affect them like it did me. Why would it? Rationally, I understand this, but in the beginning of grief, nothing really makes sense. ### 2. People will support you in the ways they know how (and sometimes you need to show them how) In my experience, after the initial announcement, there’s a stream of phone calls and visits and sympathy cards. However, after the funeral… all of that sort of just stops. Death and grief is a scary topic to so many people because they don’t want to make you sad. That makes sense, but I’ve learned that sharing memories and stories with friends is a way to help them help me grieve. Let people know you want to talk about your loved one. Share stories. My friends love to laugh about how my dad would give us a $100 bill to get snacks at WAWA or how much he loved Polish food. It makes me feel supported by them and closer to him in those moments. ### 3. Happy times will now feel a little sad, too Who doesn’t love a celebration? I know I do! Celebrations of any sort are now a combination of happy and sad. I’ve learned it’s a personal choice of how much you want to honor your loved one during holidays, weddings, or anniversaries. Me? I skipped the father daughter dance at my wedding. While someone else may have danced with a sibling or their mom, I am much more comfortable honoring my dad in a quiet, personal way. For example, on his death anniversary, I think of him all day, spend time with loved ones, and toast to him at dinner. That’s what works for me. Be patient and find what works for you. ### 4. You will experience the stages of grief, in no particular order and more than once Denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance. You will go through all of these [stages of grief](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sustainable-life-satisfaction/202004/understanding-the-stages-grief-and-facing-tragic-news), and you will experience some of them again, and again, and again. Ten years in and I’m sitting comfortably at the acceptance stage. While this stage isn’t for the faint of heart, it is also comforting to be able to be here. However, that doesn’t mean that anger or sadness won’t still creep in from time to time. That’s okay. ### 5. Shower cries are the best cries In the early days, weeks, and months of grief there were a lot of shower cries. There’s just something about that space that feels safe to let it all out. And it feels GOOD because [crying is such a release](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/202003/when-crying-is-good-you). We can’t forget about “car cries” either- those are good, too! ### 6. Grief is not an excuse to treat people poorly In the beginning of my grief, I adopted this “I don’t need anyone” attitude. Shockingly enough, that didn’t help, because I pushed away the people who loved me. I now know that it was a coping mechanism. If I didn’t allow anyone to get close, I wouldn’t be hurt like this again. However, I ended up hurting people in the process. It took kindness and patience from my now husband for me to recognize this. (Thanks, babe!) It also took [practicing grace and self compassion](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/11/11/beginning-your-journey-toward-self-love/) to move forward from this. (Thanks, me!) ### 7. It will never get easier, you will just get more used to it My friend who lost her mother years ago recently said to me, “life without my mom will never get easier.” I agree with her. Not having that person in your life will never, ever get easier no matter how much time passes. However, you DO get used to it. After a decade without my dad, I’m used to him not being here. I’m used to visiting home and only having my mom there, and I’m used to milestones without him. I’m just used to my life without my dad alive. But all of this does not make it EASIER. ### 8. You will find “weird” ways to remember your loved one, and that’s totally normal As I mentioned earlier, my dad loved Polish food. One way I stay close to him is to eat that type of cuisine when I’m missing him. He was also quite the handyman who was always in the garage tinkering around. I actually seek out the smell of gasoline because it reminds me of him. It’s truly the little things for me that keep him close, and that’s not weird because it’s my way of staying connected. ### 9. The saying “grief comes in waves” is 100% true Initial grief is a tidal wave. At first you’re knocked over, scrambling, tossed around, and you don’t know which way is up. That tidal wave might come back again but you’ll be able to find your footing faster than when the first wave hit. In time, the waves will come and go. Sometimes you’ll get knocked down. Sometimes you’ll just stumble a little. And sometimes you barely feel the water touch your toes. ### 10. Grief is PERSONAL No two experiences of grief are exactly alike. My experience may resonate with one person and not the next. And that’s okay. I must say, finding someone with a similar grief experience is SO HELPFUL. An old friend (who also lost his father) said this to me in the very beginning stages of my grief: “I get it, you just want your dad back.” It was so simple and SO validating. What it comes down to is this: your grief is yours and no one else’s. Your journey is personal. Like I said, I hope this can be helpful to anyone who is on their grief journey. You are not alone. --- *Stephanie King, LPC is Therapy for Women’s Clinical Coordinator of the Main Line Office and specializes in grief, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started).* **Categories:** Grief **Tags:** anxiety, compassion, depression, grief, real talk --- ### [What Is Rejection Sensitivity And How To Deal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/03/what-is-rejection-sensitivity-and-how-to-deal/) **Published:** November 3, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** You know that sinking feeling when a friend takes too long to text back? Or when your boss gives feedback and your brain immediately jumps to ‘I’m about to get fired’? Most people brush those moments off. But if you have ADHD, those moments can feel like a punch to the chest. That’s rejection sensitivity, and there’s a good chance it’s been quietly running your life for years. ![asian woman at work struggling with rejection sensitivity ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/worried-young-businesswoman-looking-helplessly-management-chart-computer-screen-office-tired-business-accountant-trying-understand-accounting-numbers-entered-incorrectly-683x1024.jpg) ## What is Rejection Sensitivity? Rejection sensitivity is a heightened tendency to expect, perceive, and react intensely to rejection, whether it’s real or imagined. Everyone feels stung by rejection sometimes. That’s normal. But rejection sensitivity takes it further. It’s the difference between thinking “that was awkward” and spiraling into “everyone hates me” within seconds. You might have also heard the term “rejection sensitive dysphoria,” or RSD. It’s worth knowing that RSD is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM-5. It’s a descriptive term that clinicians and ADHD communities use to name the extreme emotional pain some people with ADHD feel from perceived rejection. The feelings are very real, even if the label isn’t an official one. So why does rejection hit harder when you have ADHD? Research points to differences in how the ADHD brain regulates emotions. A study published in [*Scientific Reports* ](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6449354/)found that emotional regulation difficulties affect roughly 34 to 70% of adults with ADHD/ That’s not a small number. When the part of your brain responsible for managing emotional responses works differently, something as minor as a coworker not saying good morning can feel catastrophic. ## How Rejection Sensitivity Shows Up With ADHD It doesn’t always look like crying in the bathroom (though sometimes it does). Here are some patterns our clients describe: - Replaying a conversation for hours, convinced you said something wrong - Avoiding asking for a promotion, a date, or even a favor because the possibility of “no” feels unbearable - Interpreting neutral facial expressions as disappointment or anger directed at you - People-pleasing to the point of exhaustion because conflict feels dangerous - Sudden mood crashes after a perceived slight that seem completely disproportionate to the situation Here’s what makes this tricky: you probably know your reaction is “too much.” That awareness doesn’t make the feeling smaller. It just adds a layer of shame on top of it. You’re not only hurting, you’re also beating yourself up for hurting. And because ADHD brains tend to hyperfocus, you can get locked into the rejection loop. Your mind replays the moment, analyzes every possible meaning, and won’t let you move on. It’s exhausting. It can also lead you to pull away from relationships entirely, not because you don’t want connection but because the risk of being hurt feels too high. ## What Actually Helps? Generic advice like “just don’t take things so personally” isn’t going to cut it. (If it were that easy, you would’ve done it by now.) At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we use evidence-based approaches that actually work with the way your brain processes emotions rather than against it. **[Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/)** helps you identify the thought patterns fueling these intense reactions and learn to challenge them. Not in a “just think positive” way, but by building real skills. Your therapist will help you recognize when your brain is filling in blanks with worst-case scenarios and practice testing those assumptions against reality. **[Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/)** takes a different angle. Instead of fighting the painful thought, ACT teaches you to notice it without letting it control your behavior. You learn to say, “There’s that rejection story again,” and then choose what you do next based on what matters to you, not what your fear is telling you. For many of our clients with ADHD, this approach is a turning point. [**Medication management** ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/philadelphia-psychiatrist)can also make a meaningful difference. Because rejection sensitivity in ADHD is tied to how your brain processes emotions at a neurological level, sometimes therapy alone isn’t enough. Our in-house psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner can evaluate whether medication could help, and because they’re part of our team, they work closely with your therapist. You won’t have to repeat your story to multiple providers. ## Frequently Asked Questions About RSD and ADHD **Is rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) a real diagnosis?** No. RSD is not recognized in the DSM-5. It’s a descriptive term for the intense emotional pain from perceived rejection that many people with ADHD experience due to emotional dysregulation. **What’s the difference between rejection sensitivity and RSD?** Rejection sensitivity is a trait involving anxious anticipation of rejection. RSD describes the sudden, overwhelming emotional crash (the dysphoria part) that’s more specific to ADHD and can come on without warning. **Does everyone with ADHD have RSD?** No. While emotional dysregulation affects an estimated 34 to 70% of adults with ADHD, not everyone experiences it the same way. It varies based on individual brain differences and coping patterns. **How is RSD treated?** There’s no medication specifically for RSD, but ADHD treatments (stimulants, alpha-agonists like guanfacine) can help with emotional regulation. Therapy approaches like CBT and ACT are also effective. **Can therapy help if you don’t have ADHD?** Yes. CBT, DBT, and self-compassion practices effectively reduce sensitivity to rejection regardless of whether ADHD is present. ## When Should You Reach Out? You don’t need to wait until rejection sensitivity has wrecked a relationship or cost you a job opportunity. If fear of rejection is shrinking your life or leaving you emotionally drained after everyday interactions, that’s reason enough. Our therapists at Therapy for Women in Philadelphia specialize in ADHD, anxiety, and the emotional patterns that come with them. We offer virtual sessions across 43 states, so you don’t have to be local. Contact us today to schedule a session. You’ve spent enough time managing this alone. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** ADHD, highly sensitive person, HSP, hypersensitivity, neurodivergent, rejection sensitivity --- ### [Common Myths about ADHD to Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/05/11/adhd-misunderstood/) **Published:** May 11, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** You may have recently heard the phrase ‘everyone’s a little ADHD.’ With the explosion of social media platforms, it seems that people are more prone to self-diagnosing these issues. So if you find yourself questioning, ‘Wait…do I have ADHD?’ Well, maybe! And you’re not alone in that question. However, the idea that everyone struggles with these symptoms to an extent can be dismissive to those who do. I think it’s most helpful to look at ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity disorder, on a spectrum of what we call *[neurodivergence](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-neurodiversity-202111232645)*. Some people’s brains function differently (neurodivergent), while others have brains that operate closer to an average of the population (neurotypical). One of the biggest misnomers is that ADHD is about a *lack* of attention, thus the name attention-deficit. In actuality, it’s an issue with how to direct, maintain, and coordinate that attention to make the moving pieces of our lives work optimally. Here are a few other common misconceptions and misunderstood challenges of ADHD that may help you to better understand this form of neurodivergence and support yourself or someone you love. ![women with ADHD are often misdiagnosed and misunderstood ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721437723074.jpg) ## Top Misconceptions About ADHD ### Misconception: ADHD means that you are lazy. In fact, it’s often quite the opposite! Motivation is “the desire or willingness to complete a task.” Sometimes we have a desire to do something and understand its importance, and even the consequences of not doing it, but we just can’t get going. This is where something called [executive functioning](https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/) comes into play. It’s like our brain’s little manager who sits in the front directing traffic and delegating tasks. When our manager is not functioning, because maybe they have too many tasks to attend to, there’s too much traffic, or they’re just tired or hungry, the person is simply unable to take the task from wanting to doing. This can be confusing for neurotypical brains who witness a person with ADHD completing many tasks in little time. Or they may have lots of attention and focus for a new and exciting project. That can’t be an attention issue, right?? Well, not exactly. Having an executive functioning issue doesn’t mean attention is non-existent, it’s just fleeting, unharnessed, and non-discriminating. That can make it hard complete things you need to do AND things you are excited to do. ### Misunderstood: Emotion regulation issues are also part of ADHD. You may have heard of [Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201907/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria), which has little research backing but is reported by people with ADHD. It basically means we have extreme reactions or feel intense emotions at perceived or actual rejection. Sounds pretty typical, right? Well, executive functioning is also responsible for reigning in our emotions and helping us to prioritize and process information.  Imagine having one thing, no matter how big or small, that you just can’t let go of. It completely derails your day and prevents you from focusing on other more important tasks. When that executive manager is busy or exhausted, emotions can get away from us. This can look like being highly reactive, impulsive, or having intense emotional responses that lead to shut-down. Examples of emotion regulation issues are extreme anger or irritability in arguments, freezing (doing nothing) when overwhelmed, intense sadness, avoiding situations involving social rejection, impulse spending, or traveling on a whim. [Regulating emotions](https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/emotional-regulation) is a crucial part of managing ADHD symptoms and should be part of the conversation. ### Misconception: stimulant medications are like doing drugs or are addictive. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard people express their fear of addiction to stimulant medications. Or, judgment toward others taking any psychiatric medications. Most people don’t seem to find issue with taking medication to relieve seasonal allergies, or a headache. We can’t necessarily will ourselves out of those (at least not to my knowledge!) Yet ADHD, along with many other mental health symptoms, is often trivialized as laziness or a moral failing of willpower. I can only imagine how that might affect a person struggling with motivation to seek treatment and stick to a medication plan. While COVID-19 pandemic extensions for telehealth gave people greater access to evaluation and diagnosis, current [drug manufacturing issues and government restrictions](https://www.npr.org/2023/02/22/1158826128/many-people-with-adhd-cant-get-their-medication-amid-adderall-shortage) still make it very difficult for people to get consistent access to prescribed medications. It is true that stimulant medications can be abused when taken in large amounts. But this is not the case for how they are prescribed for ADHD. A good way of looking at medication management is a minimum dose to get the maximum effect. For many, that just means leveling up to somewhat neurotypical functioning. Much of this misconception stems from the nature of how stimulants work. Think of drinking a cup of coffee every day. You’ll notice you need just a little bit more to get the same boost as your body adjusts to caffeine. When your body doesn’t get the expected caffeine you might feel a little sluggish throughout your day. As with many other medications, stimulants can have less of an effect overtime, and a withdrawal effect if stopped abruptly. There are other medication options that include non-stimulants, and medications are not the only treatment.  Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that will completely alleviate symptoms or teach life skills. But medication management in combination with therapy and coaching can be a really important tool. ### Misunderstood: Coping with ADHD symptoms has a financial cost. You may have heard of something called the ‘[ADHD tax](https://www.additudemag.com/living-with-adhd-socioeconomic-costs/).’ Like with many physical challenges, the financial cost of dealing with a long-term issue can add up, especially if unmanaged. This might amount to receiving fees for missed appointments, forgetting to pay bills on time, credit issues with debt, impulsive spending, difficulty managing budgets, additional cost with time to complete education programs, or just seeing providers regularly to manage symptoms. Whew what a list! It’s important to recognize that people struggling with ADHD are not just living in a bubble. So, there may be a number of other life factors making it difficult to manage.  We can’t ignore the impact of experiencing trauma and discrimination to stress and overall health. For people who are differently-abled or managing chronic health issues, adhering to care plans and making appointments might be a crucial part of life. When we have challenges regulating emotions, planning, and organizing, this can exacerbate each of these issues and contribute to financial cost. The bottom line is, paying more for things is no fun. Hopefully this gives some insight into how managing neurodivergent challenges can add up and compound over time. ### The bottom line… Although the task of managing neurodivergence can seem daunting, all is not lost! Throughout this post I refrained from using the term disorder as much as possible, even though the name ADHD implies it. I believe our language around describing neurodivergence often communicates there is something inherently wrong or flawed with our brains, which contributes to shame and stigma. Neurodivergence is just that: a difference or variation in the way people’s brains operate. Although there are challenges, let’s also acknowledge some of the amazing parts. Like being able to hold interest in exploring a lot of different subjects, out-of-the-box problem solving, and expansive creativity. The people you know and love, or yourself with ADHD, might be some of the most creative, quirky, or energetic individuals. When we dispel myths and misconceptions, we can better understand ourselves and others, which is a step towards accepting differing ways of being in the world. *To learn more about ADHD or set up an appointment with an ADHD specialist at Therapy for Women[, click here!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact)* **Categories:** ADHD **Tags:** ADHD, neurodivergent --- ### [Unmasking ADHD in Teens: How to Empower Your Child's Success](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/28/unmasking-adhd-in-teens-how-to-empower-your-childs-success/) **Published:** August 28, 2024 **Author:** Julie Belling, LCSW **Content:** As a new school year begins, many teens and parents find themselves feeling anxious and uncertain. For teens with ADHD, adjusting to new routines can be particularly challenging, often making school a significant source of stress. This is especially true for those who have reached middle or high school without a diagnosis, leaving both teens and parents questioning the root of their struggles. In this post, we’ll explore the signs and symptoms of ADHD in teens and discuss ways to support your child. ![four teens with ADHD studying in school ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/vecteezy_students-group-working-on-school-project-together_11920873-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding ADHD in Teens ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. It comes in three types: 1. Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD 2. Inattentive ADHD 3. Combined ADHD ## Signs of ADHD in Teens ### Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD Signs: - Fidgeting a lot - Moving around when they shouldn’t - Talking too much - Butting into conversations - Having trouble waiting their turn Boys often show these signs more. You might notice your teen acting without thinking or always being on the go. ### Inattentive ADHD in Teens Signs: - Trouble focusing - Problems getting organized - Forgetting things often - Missing small details Teens with this type might not turn in work, forget important tasks, or daydream a lot. Girls show these signs more often. Teachers might not notice because these teens are usually quiet in class. Combined ADHD has signs from both lists. It’s the most common type. ## How ADHD Affects Teens ADHD can make life hard for teens in many ways: - Trouble controlling feelings - Feeling hurt easily by what others say or do - Trying too hard to fit in or be perfect ## Ways to Help Your Teen with ADHD If you think your teen has ADHD, here’s how you can help: ### Talk to an ADHD Expert. A skilled therapist can teach your child valuable skills to navigate life with ADHD. They’ll learn how to handle tough feelings that often come with the condition. The therapist will also show them tricks to get better at planning and organizing, which can really help with schoolwork. Many teens with ADHD struggle socially, so the therapist will work on ways to make friends more easily. Lastly, they’ll teach techniques to stay calm and focused, which can help in all areas of life. These skills can make a big difference in how your teen copes with ADHD day-to-day. ### Investigate School support Schools often have special help for students with ADHD. Ask your teen’s school what they offer. They might have extra time for tests, quiet study spaces, or special classes. Some schools have teachers who know a lot about ADHD. They can help your teen learn in ways that work best for them. Remember, schools want to help your teen do well. Working with your teen’s teachers can make a big difference. Set up meetings to talk about how ADHD affects your teen at school. Share what works at home. Ask about any problems the teacher sees. Together, you can make plans to help your teen do better in class. T ### Keeping open dialogue with your teen Let them know it’s okay to share their worries and problems with you. Listen without judging. This helps your teen feel safe and understood. They might talk about trouble at school, problems with friends, or feeling different. By listening, you can learn what your teen needs and how to help. It also shows your teen that they’re not alone in dealing with ADHD. ## Final Thoughts on ADHD in Teens With the right support, teens with ADHD can learn to do well and get ready for adult life. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. A therapist can help you and your teen work together for a better school experience. If you think your teen might have ADHD, [talk to a doctor](https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-find-an-adhd-specialist-5221303) who knows about teen health. Getting help early can make a big difference in how your teen handles ADHD and enjoys life. Julie is a licensed therapist who specializes in working with adults and teens with ADHD, trauma, substance use and anxiety. Learn more about her [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/julie-belling-lcsw/) **Categories:** ADHD, Therapy for Teens **Tags:** ADHD, back to school, For parents, teens --- ### [Important Things to Know About ADHD Medication: From a Psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/09/24/important-things-to-know-about-adhd-medication-from-a-psychiatrist/) **Published:** September 24, 2025 **Author:** Eli Muhrer, MD **Content:** If you’re considering ADHD medication, you’re probably wondering where to start. Maybe you’ve just received a diagnosis, or perhaps your current treatment isn’t working as well as you’d hoped. Either way, understanding your medication options can feel overwhelming. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we believe in helping you make informed decisions—without pressure. Let’s break down what you need to know. ![image of ADHD medication prescribed by a psychiatrist ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/close-up-white-tablets-with-red-capsule-medication-1-684x1024.jpg) ## Two Main Types of ADHD Medication ADHD medications fall into two main categories: stimulants and non-stimulants. Both can effectively manage symptoms, but they work differently in your brain. Most importantly, the right choice depends entirely on your individual needs, medical history, and personal preferences. ## How Stimulant Medications Work Stimulants might seem like an odd choice for ADHD—shouldn’t they make hyperactivity worse? Actually, they help your brain produce and use dopamine more effectively. These brain chemicals help with focus and impulse control. Common stimulant medications include two main types. First, there are methylphenidate-based options like Ritalin, Concerta, Focalin, and Daytrana. Second, you’ll find amphetamine-based medications such as Adderall, Vyvanse, and Dexedrine. Each works slightly differently, so if one doesn’t help, another might. Furthermore, stimulants come in different formulations. Short-acting versions work for 3-6 hours, while extended-release options can last 8-12 hours. Your daily schedule and responsibilities will help determine which works best. ## Understanding Non-Stimulant Options Non-stimulants work differently. Instead of boosting brain chemicals directly, they often prevent their breakdown. While they typically take longer to show effects—sometimes several weeks—they offer unique advantages. **Common Non-Stimulant Medications:** - **Strattera (atomoxetine)**: Specifically approved for ADHD, provides 24-hour symptom control - **Wellbutrin (bupropion)**: An antidepressant that often helps ADHD symptoms - **Intuniv and Kapvay**: Originally blood pressure medications, now used for ADHD Additionally, non-stimulants aren’t controlled substances. This means easier prescription refills and no concerns about dependency. Additionally, non-stimulants aren’t controlled substances. This means easier prescription refills and no concerns about dependency. ## Benefits and Considerations for Each Type Why do people choose stimulants? First, they work fast—often within 30 to 60 minutes. Second, they have a high success rate for improving symptoms. Finally, they offer flexible dosing options to fit your schedule. However, stimulants do have drawbacks. They can disrupt sleep if taken too late. Also, many people experience appetite loss. Additionally, they’re controlled substances with strict refill rules. Most importantly, they’re not suitable for everyone, especially those with certain heart conditions. Why do people choose non-stimulants? For starters, there’s no risk of dependency. They provide round-the-clock symptom coverage and can also help with anxiety or depression. Plus, getting refills is much easier since they’re not controlled substances. Yet non-stimulants have their own challenges. First, they work more slowly than stimulants. Second, they may not help certain symptoms as much but people tend to experience less side effects. Nevertheless, many people find them perfect for their needs. ## Managing Side Effects of ADHD Medication Every medication has potential side effects. However, the key is finding what you can tolerate while still getting relief. Common stimulant side effects are usually manageable. For instance, if you lose your appetite, try eating before taking medication. If sleep becomes difficult, consider taking your dose earlier or trying a shorter-acting formula. When dry mouth bothers you, keep water handy throughout the day. Some people notice a faster heartbeat, which is usually mild but worth mentioning to your doctor. Non-stimulant side effects tend to be different. Nausea is common at first but often improves with time. Additionally, some people feel tired or drowsy initially. Mood changes can occur, so tracking your emotions helps. Finally, headaches may happen but usually respond to over-the-counter pain relievers. Remember, most side effects decrease as your body adjusts. Moreover, your psychiatrist can suggest strategies to minimize discomfort or adjust your treatment plan. ## Finding Your Right Medication Starting ADHD medication isn’t a guessing game—it’s a collaborative process. Your psychiatrist will consider several important factors including your specific ADHD symptoms and how they impact your daily life. They’ll also review any other health conditions you have and current medications to avoid interactions. Your lifestyle matters too—whether you work night shifts, have a demanding travel schedule, or need to be alert for childcare all influence medication choices. If you’ve tried ADHD medications before, your psychiatrist will want to know what worked and what didn’t. Most importantly, they should respect your comfort level and preferences throughout the process. Most people start with a low dose and adjust gradually. This “start low, go slow” approach helps find your optimal dose with minimal side effects. Furthermore, what works for someone else might not work for you—and that’s completely normal. ## Questions to Ask Before Starting Being informed helps you feel confident about your treatment. Consider asking: - Why are you recommending this specific medication? - How will we know if it’s working? - What side effects should I watch for? - How long before I see improvements? - What happens if this doesn’t work? - Are there lifestyle changes that could help? Additionally, ask about practical matters like refill procedures, especially for stimulants which have stricter regulations. ## Beyond ADHD Medication: A Complete Approach While medication can significantly help ADHD symptoms, it works best as part of a complete plan. Many people find that medication makes other strategies more effective. For example, therapy—especially cognitive-behavioral therapy for ADHD—becomes easier when you can focus better. Similarly, organizational systems work better when your brain isn’t constantly scattered. Regular exercise improves both focus and mood naturally. Good sleep habits support medication effectiveness. Finally, mindfulness practices help with emotional regulation. Therefore, combining approaches often yields the best results. At our practice, we coordinate medication management with therapy services. This integrated approach means you get support from all angles. ## Making an Informed Choice Deciding about ADHD medication is personal. Some people find it life-changing. Others prefer non-medication approaches. Many use medication temporarily while building other coping strategies. All of these choices are valid. At Therapy for Women Center in Philadelphia, [our psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/medication-management/) respect your autonomy. We’ll explain all your options without pushing any particular path. Want to try therapy first? We support that. Curious about medication but need time to decide? That’s fine too. ## Common Myths About ADHD Medication Let’s address some misconceptions: **“ADHD medication will change my personality”** When properly prescribed, medication helps you be more yourself by reducing symptoms that get in the way. **“Taking medication means I’m weak”** Would you say that about someone taking medication for diabetes? ADHD is a medical condition that responds to medical treatment. **“I’ll become dependent”** When taken as prescribed, ADHD medications have low addiction risk. In fact, treating ADHD often reduces substance abuse risk. **“Medication is just a quick fix”** Medication is a tool, not a cure. It’s most effective when combined with other strategies and support. ## Next Steps in Your ADHD Journey If you’re considering ADHD medication, start with a comprehensive evaluation. A knowledgeable psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner can help determine if medication might help and which options to consider. Remember, you’re in control of this decision. Our team in Philadelphia specializes in ADHD treatment for women, understanding how the condition presents differently across genders. We offer both medication management and therapy, always respecting your choices and timeline. Ready to explore your ADHD treatment options? [Contact us today.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) Whether you’re interested in medication, therapy, or just want to understand your choices better, we’re here to support you—no pressure, just possibilities. **Categories:** ADHD, Therapy for Women **Tags:** ADHD, ADHD Medication, medication, medication management, psychiatry, Stimulants --- ### [Delayed Developmental Milestones: How to Cope](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/04/27/delayed-developmental-milestones/) **Published:** April 27, 2023 **Author:** Leah Wright, LCSW **Content:** When new parents find out we are expecting, we often fantasize about the type of parent we want to become. We tend to put incredible pressure on ourselves to ensure our kids are happy and healthy. During the first year of our children’s lives especially, it’s common to struggle with comparing ourselves to other new parents, and comparing our kids’ developmental milestones to other childrens’. Have you ever wondered, “Is my child walking on time?” “Should my child be doing that?” “Should my child be doing this yet?” or “Why is my child not doing what that other children are doing?” You aren’t alone! ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/milestone.jpg) ## Coping with delayed developmental milestones? Here are my reminders for you… ### Trust yourself. We started noticing delayed milestones when my son was 15 months old. I began to notice that most other children in his age group had started babbling and pointing. But, my son was not quite there. I kept trying to tell myself that every child is different. But then my husband and I also noticed that he was having meltdowns everywhere we went. Other parents would stare, and the judgment I perceived in their eyes would heighten my emotions. I would feel like I was the worst mom for being unable to control my son. I tried to remind myself that every child is different, but continued feeling lost. Others brushed off our concerns, saying our son was perfectly fine. Yet, his meltdowns became so intense that his first daycare viewed him as a problem and requested he didn’t return. When it comes to being a mother, it can be easy to get lost in the “I have no idea what I am doing” thoughts, but always remember: YOU are the expert on your children and family. No matter what they are going through, your children will see you as the greatest mother in the world, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s also important to remember that there will be so many people (family, close friends) who will say, “oh, they are fine!” when you’re concerned. In these situations, try to advocate for yourself and your child! You have a connection with your child that no one else does- if you are concerned about developmental milestones, [trust your gut and get it checked out](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/concerned.html#:~:text=Talk%20to%20Your%20Child's%20Doctor,doctor%20and%20share%20your%20concerns.)! ### Feel your emotions. At my son’s 18-month appointment, the pediatrician told us he was behind developmentally. She appeared concerned and connected us with [Early Intervention](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/parents/states.html). Intense emotions immediately overpowered me. Although it was relieving to finally feel heard, I still felt immense guilt, sadness, and worry for my son about how things might be more challenging for him; it broke my heart. It is normal to feel these emotions. In fact, honor your emotions and allow them to show up for you without judgment. Yes, you are a mother but being a mother is a part of you, not all of you. You are first and foremost a human with real emotions and feelings. When we judge ourselves, it continues the unpleasant thoughts and emotional patterns, but if we are kinder to ourselves and recognize that these emotions are real, we can find ways to grow and show up for our children while showing them that it is OK to have emotions! ### A diagnosis isn’t a definition. As months passed and speech therapy progressed, my son significantly improved since starting at a new daycare. I have begun to understand my beautiful son and what he specifically needs. After doing more research about delayed developmental milestones, I began to feel less isolated as I better understood what my son was going through and that other mothers have felt the same way. In doing this, I started to feel connected to others and felt less alone. I also started feeling closer to my son, and was able to recognize that I was doing my best for him, making sure he had the proper tools and support. Also, being able to acknowledge my son’s specific needs could also help with my son not feeling stigmatized and that he can be just like any child his age. From one mother to another, remember that you are still an excellent parent! My son is amazing, and will always light up my life. He is now 2 years old, and we are awaiting his results to see if he has an ASD diagnosis. A diagnosis is just a diagnosis; it is not a definition. Your child is still unique, wonderful, and perfect! ### It’s not your fault. Remember that you didn’t do anything wrong. You did nothing wrong while pregnant, and you did nothing wrong during labor or delivery. Diagnoses happen – again, try not to judge yourself. Just because your child may not behave exactly like other children doesn’t mean they are doing anything wrong either. Every child is different and every parent is different. We tend to automatically think that just because something is different, it deserves a negative label. But different just means different! Practice self-compassion and lean on your support systems when you need them. Some days will be more difficult than others. On those days, allow yourself to feel the emotion and let them be complicated. It will pass. Be kind to yourself as a mother and a human being! ### Stay curious. My advice to you moving forward is to always keep learning and stay curious; one of the scariest things for a parent when their child struggles to reach developmental milestones is worrying about the future. About they will progress in school, how how the world will treat them… But it’s vital to trust yourself and your child- they will make their own way that a good fit for them. The best thing you can do is get them involved with activities that they enjoy and make them feel like it is OK to be who they are! Stay in touch with your resources and advocate. Believe in your child and yourself as a mother because you are doing GREAT. *Leah specializes in parenthood, per/prenatal mental health, substance use, trauma, anxiety, and depression.* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, Motherhood, Parenthood --- ### [Important Things to Know about Magical Thinking and Superstition OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/10/02/the-exhausting-truth-about-magical-thinking-superstition-ocd/) **Published:** October 2, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** I still remember standing in my high school bedroom, tossing a crumpled paper toward the trash can. *If I make this shot, I’ll get into my dream college.* Miss? The universe was clearly sending me a different message. Back then, I didn’t know this had a name: magical thinking. ![A magical thinking ritual like throwing paper into a cup ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/high-angle-colorful-stickers-basket-scaled.jpg) ## What Is Magical Thinking, Really? Magical thinking is the belief that your thoughts, wishes, or unrelated actions can influence external events in ways that defy logical cause and effect. It’s thinking “if I step on a crack, something bad will happen to someone I love” or “if I think negative thoughts about my recovery, I won’t get better.” Here’s what most articles won’t tell you: we all do this sometimes. Knock on wood? That’s magical thinking. Lucky socks for the big game? Same thing. The difference between quirky superstition and something more concerning isn’t always clear-cut, which is why so many people quietly struggle without realizing there’s help available. ## My Journey Through the Looking Glass of Magical Thinking During high school, while battling an eating disorder, my world became a minefield of signs and omens. Every moment held potential messages from the universe about whether my crush would text back or if I’d get into college. I’d create endless tests: *If these jeans fit perfectly today, he’ll definitely text me.* *If I reach the stop sign before that car passes, I’m meant to go to this school.* The exhausting part wasn’t just looking for these signs – it was the crushing responsibility I felt. If I had a mean thought about my brother, I’d spiral into panic, convinced my negative thinking would cause him actual harm. The guilt was immediate and overwhelming. My brain had become both fortune teller and judge, jury, and executioner of my own thoughts. ## When Life Triggers Old Patterns (And Why That’s Actually Normal) Fast forward to this year, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, those old thought patterns came roaring back like unwelcome houseguests. Every negative thought felt dangerous – what if my worry affected her recovery? I became obsessed with protecting her from any illness, terrified that if my daughter or I got her sick during chemo, I’d be responsible for… I couldn’t even finish the thought. But here’s the difference: this time, I recognized what was happening. These weren’t prophecies or cosmic truths. They were anxiety and fear dressed up in the familiar costume of magical thinking. It makes sense that stress, uncertainty, and major life changes trigger or intensify magical thinking. When my world felt out of control during high school – between the eating disorder, college applications, and teenage social drama – my brain desperately searched for patterns and control. The same thing happened with my mom’s diagnosis. High-stakes situations where we feel powerless practically beg our brains to find some way, any way, to influence the outcome. It’s not weakness; it’s human nature trying to protect us from the unbearable weight of uncertainty. ## Does Magical Thinking Always Mean OCD? Short answer: No. And this distinction matters. [Magical thinking becomes Superstition OCD](https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/role-magical-thinking-ocd) when it significantly interferes with your daily life and includes specific markers. With OCD, you typically experience intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that cause intense anxiety, followed by behaviors or mental rituals (compulsions) meant to prevent feared outcomes or reduce distress. Someone with Superstition OCD might spend hours daily performing rituals, avoiding certain numbers, or repeatedly checking to ensure they haven’t “thought the wrong thing.” They know logically their thoughts can’t cause harm, yet the fear feels absolutely real and urgent. Regular magical thinking, while it can be distressing, tends to be more flexible and less time-consuming. You might feel uneasy breaking a superstition but can ultimately move on with your day. ## How Can You Tell the Difference Between Magical Thinking and OCD? Consider these questions honestly: - Do these thoughts consume more than an hour of your day? - Do you feel you MUST perform certain actions or think certain thoughts to prevent catastrophe? - Does the anxiety from not following through feel unbearable? - Is your life becoming smaller because of these beliefs? If you’re nodding yes, especially to multiple questions, it might be time to consider whether your magical thinking has crossed into OCD territory. ## Finding Your Way Back to Solid Ground Whether you’re dealing with occasional magical thinking or Superstition OCD, know this: recognizing these patterns is already huge. When I noticed my thoughts spiraling during my mom’s illness, I could name them: “Oh, there’s that magical thinking again. Hi, anxiety, I see you.” This isn’t about never having these thoughts – it’s about changing your relationship with them. Therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and[ Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp " Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)"), can be game-changers. They helped me understand that thoughts are just thoughts, not prophecies or weapons that can hurt people I love. ## The Path Forward If you recognize yourself in these words, you’re not alone, and you’re not “crazy.” You’re human, trying to find control in an unpredictable world. Sometimes our brains create patterns where none exist because randomness feels scarier than false connections. Recovery doesn’t mean never having magical thoughts again. I still catch myself making little bargains with the universe sometimes. The difference is I can smile at them now, acknowledge the anxiety underneath, and choose whether to engage or let them pass like clouds. It’s worth remembering that magical thinking often shows up strongest in childhood (when it’s actually developmentally normal) and then resurfaces during life’s most challenging moments. Whether you’re facing illness, major decisions, relationship changes, or any other life upheaval, these patterns might knock on your door again. That’s not failure – it’s just your brain pulling out an old coping mechanism when it feels overwhelmed. If you’re looking for support with your magical thinking or suspect you may have Superstition OCD, we have specialists at [Therapy for Women](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) who would love to support you! **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** anxiety, Magical Thinking, OCD, Superstition OCD --- ### [4 Essential DBT Skills That Actually Help When You're Overwhelmed](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/dbt-skills/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** You’ve probably heard that DBT is “skills-based.” But what does that actually mean when you’re in the middle of an anxiety spiral or fighting back tears at work? DBT skills are practical tools you can use in real moments of overwhelm. They’re not abstract concepts. They’re techniques you can pull out when everything feels like too much. ## What Are DBT Skills? [Dialectical Behavior Therapy](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2963469/) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the 1980s, originally to treat borderline personality disorder. Since then, research has shown these skills help with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and pretty much any situation where emotions feel unmanageable. DBT is built around four core skill sets: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Each one tackles a different challenge. Together, they give you a real toolkit for handling intense feelings without those feelings running your life. ![woman yelling at the phone angry, in need of DBT skills ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/angry-young-woman-using-her-mobile-phone-684x1024.jpg) ## Mindfulness: The Foundation of All DBT Skills Mindfulness is where everything starts. It’s the practice of paying attention to what’s happening right now, without judging yourself for it. When emotions spike, your mind usually takes off in one of two directions. You replay what went wrong yesterday. Or you catastrophize about tomorrow. Mindfulness brings you back to this moment, which is often more manageable than wherever your thoughts were headed. Here’s what that looks like in practice. Instead of thinking “I’m such a mess,” you might notice “my heart is racing and my thoughts are moving fast.” That small shift matters. You’re observing your experience instead of getting swept away by it. One simple technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. Name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, and one you can taste. It sounds almost too simple, but it can interrupt a spiral before it takes over. ## Distress Tolerance: Surviving the Hard Moments Life includes pain. That’s not pessimism. It’s just reality. Distress tolerance skills help you get through a crisis without making things worse. These aren’t about fixing the problem or feeling better right away. They’re about surviving until the intensity passes. Because when you’re activated, you’re more likely to reach for something destructive: a fight, a drink, a text you’ll regret. Distress tolerance gives you other options. One powerful technique is called TIPP, which works by changing your body chemistry fast: - Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold ice cubes - Intense exercise: Even 10 minutes can shift your state - Paced breathing: Slow exhales calm your nervous system - Progressive relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group Another skill is radical acceptance. This means acknowledging reality as it is, not as you wish it were. It doesn’t mean you approve of what happened. It means you stop fighting the fact that it happened so you can figure out what to do next. ## How Emotional Regulation Helps Over Time While distress tolerance gets you through a crisis, emotional regulation reduces how often those crises happen in the first place. A lot of this starts with naming your emotions more precisely. [Research from UCLA ](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17576282/)found that putting feelings into specific words (saying “I feel rejected” rather than “I feel bad”) actually decreases activity in the amygdala, your brain’s alarm center. Getting specific helps your brain process what’s happening. Another piece is checking the facts. Ask yourself: is my emotional response matching what’s actually happening? Sometimes we’re reacting to an interpretation, not reality. “She didn’t text back” doesn’t automatically mean “she hates me.” Slowing down to question your assumptions can change everything. Your physical state also affects your emotional state more than you might realize. Sleep, movement, food, substances. These all play a role. When your baseline is off, emotions hit harder. ## Interpersonal Effectiveness in Relationships Relationships are often where we struggle most. Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you ask for what you need, say no without drowning in guilt, and handle conflict without destroying the connection. One framework that helps is thinking about your goal before a hard conversation. Are you trying to get a specific outcome? Preserve the relationship? Maintain your self-respect? You probably can’t maximize all three, so knowing your priority helps you choose how to show up. These skills take practice. You’re not going to nail them overnight. But even small shifts (pausing before you respond, stating your needs directly, validating the other person’s perspective) can make relationships feel less exhausting. ## When Should You Work With a Therapist on DBT Skills? You can start practicing these skills on your own. But working with a trained therapist helps you apply them to your specific situations and stick with the process when it gets hard. It’s one thing to understand the concepts. It’s another to use them when you’re activated and everything feels urgent. Signs it might be time to attend [DBT Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/dbt-therapy/): - Your emotions regularly feel out of proportion to what’s happening - You keep reacting in ways you later regret - Relationships feel like a constant source of stress - You’re using unhealthy coping strategies more than you’d like ## Moving Forward Learning DBT skills isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about giving yourself more options when things get hard. Most people who commit to the process notice real change, though it takes consistent practice over months, not days. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we have therapists trained in DBT who can help you build these skills in a supportive space. We also serve women in South Jersey. [Book an appointment ](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started)today! **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** DBT, depression, Therapy Modalities --- ### [Health at Every Size: A New Approach to Wellness](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/25/health-at-every-size-a-new-approach-to-wellness/) **Published:** October 25, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Have you ever felt frustrated with diets that don’t work? Or tired of feeling bad about your body? There’s a new way of thinking about health that might help. We offer size-inclusive, non-diet therapy rooted in the Health at Every Size framework (HAES). ![Black woman smiling embracing health at every size ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/beautiful-woman-supporting-body-positivity-1-683x1024.jpg) ## What is Health at Every Size? Health at Every Size is a movement that says you can be healthy no matter what size you are. It’s a different way of thinking about health and bodies. Instead of focusing on weight loss, HAES focuses on healthy behaviors and self-care. The main ideas of Health at Every Size are: 1. Accept and respect all body sizes and shapes 2. Eat in a way that makes you feel good 3. Enjoy moving your body in ways you like 4. Take care of your health without trying to change your size HAES believes that health is not about how much you weigh. It’s about how you treat your body and mind. ## Why Health at Every Size Matters Many people think you need to be thin to be healthy. But [research](https://lindobacon.com/health-at-every-size-book/) shows this isn’t true. People can be healthy at many different sizes. Trying to lose weight often doesn’t work in the long run. It can even harm your health. Health at Every Size offers a kinder way to think about health. It says your worth isn’t based on your size. You deserve respect and good health care no matter what you weigh. ## How Health at Every Size Can Help You ### Better Body Image When you stop trying to change your body size, you can start to accept yourself more. This can lead to better self-esteem and less stress about how you look. ### Happier Eating Health at Every Size encourages intuitive eating. This means eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. It also means enjoying your food without guilt. Many people find this leads to a healthier relationship with food. ### More Fun Moving Your Body Instead of exercising to lose weight, HAES suggests moving your body in ways you enjoy. This could be dancing, walking, swimming, or anything else that feels good to you. When exercise is fun, you’re more likely to keep doing it. ### Better Health Care Health at Every Size encourages doctors to look at your whole health, not just your weight. This can lead to better health care that focuses on your real needs. ## Common Questions About Health at Every Size People often have questions when they first learn about HAES. Here are some common ones: ### Does Health at Every Size mean I should ignore my health? Not at all! HAES is all about taking care of your health. It just says that weight isn’t the only (or best) way to measure health. ### What if my doctor says I need to lose weight? You can talk to your doctor about Health at Every Size. Ask them to focus on health markers other than weight, like blood pressure, sleep, movement habits or how you feel. ### Can I still try to change my body if I want to? HAES is about choice. If you want to try to change your body, that’s your choice. But HAES suggests focusing on health behaviors instead of weight. ## How to Start with Health at Every Size If you’re interested in trying Health at Every Size, here are some steps you can take: 1. Learn more about HAES. Read books or articles about it. 2. Practice accepting your body as it is now. 3. Try intuitive eating. Pay attention to when you’re hungry and full. 4. Find ways to move your body that you enjoy. 5. Focus on how you feel, not how you look. 6. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same care you’d give a good friend. ## Challenges of Health at Every Size Our society often judges people based on size. You might face challenges like: - People not understanding your new approach to health - Feeling pressure to diet or lose weight - Doctors who don’t know about HAES - Your own thoughts about body size and health Remember, it’s okay to take it slow. Change takes time. ## The Future of Health at Every Size More and more people are learning about Health at Every Size. Some doctors and health care workers are starting to use this approach. As more research shows the benefits of HAES, it may become more common. Health at Every Size offers a new way to think about health and bodies. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and respect. It’s about enjoying food and movement. And it’s about taking care of your whole self – body and mind. What is Health at Every Size doing for the future? It’s helping create a world where all bodies are respected. Where health is about how you feel, not how you look. Where everyone can access good health care without shame or bias. At Therapy for Women Center, we are proud to offer size inclusive and non-diet therapy rooted in the Health at Every Size framework. All of our therapists undergo training on it and we also have a number of therapists who specialize in [eating disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorders/), body image and chronic dieting. Whatever your reason for learning about HAES, remember this: You deserve to be healthy and happy at any size. Your worth isn’t based on your weight. You can start taking care of yourself right now, just as you are. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** binge eating disorder, eating disorders, HAES, health at every size, intuitive eating --- ### [Why It's Important to Know Attachment Styles When Dating](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/04/07/what-they-dont-teach-you-in-school-dating-101/) **Published:** April 7, 2021 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721440758500.jpg) ## Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships Do you know what your attachment style is? Have you ever found yourself saying, “**I always pick the wrong person to date!**” Well, you’re not alone. Your entire life is a combination of experiences that has led you to where you are today. We are all born with our own innate qualities that develop through childhood and continue into our adulthood. *But what the heck happens in that process?* *What has made us into the people we are today?* To give an overarching answer- it’s our environment. However, when we take a closer look at our environment or system, we can see that it is comprised of our parents/caregivers, friends, school, work, religion, etc. etc. The attachment or experience we have with each one of these has morphed us into who we are today. If I were to ask you right now, as you’re sitting here reading this blog post, “what are you like in a relationship?” What would you say? Are you more stand-offish? Do you like to play hard to get? Do you like to pursue your love interest? Are you constantly checking your phone to see if they messaged you? Are you interested in them and then all of the sudden not interested at all? Well, these are all responses to your own unique attachment style. Our parents/caregivers, take part in developing our attachment style. So now let me ask you this- what type of relationship did you have with each parent individually? Was one parent more caring than the other? Were they hard on you? Did they “love” you too much? How did they discipline you? Too harshly? Not enough? Were they present? How did they handle you being upset? This is how your attachment style formed. ## There are 4 types of attachment styles in adulthood: 1\. Secure Attachment 2\. Anxious Preoccupied Attachment 3\. Dismissive Avoidant Attachment 4\. Fearful Avoidant Attachment The initial step to understanding why “I always pick the wrong person” is to identify and recognize your attachment style first. For example, if you answered “No” to my question on “were your parents present while you were growing up?” you might have developed either a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment, or Anxious Preoccupied Attachment. A DA and AP (abbreviated) attachment style oftentimes occurs in a chaotic upbringing. For example, if your parents were not present (whether physically or emotionally) during your childhood, you may have decided that being close to someone is not worth it, and it’s better to be emotionally distant as to not get hurt (DA). This has led you to be more distant in relationships. On the other hand, you might have developed more of an “emotional hunger” towards people, which may have been caused by the emotional deprivation of your parents (AP). This then led you to become more the more pursuing one in relationships. ## Closing Thoughts No attachment style is “healthy” or “unhealthy,” but the question becomes, “is it sustainable?” If you’re dating someone with the same attachment style as you, great! You most likely will not have too much to be concerned about in terms of feeling safe and heard in your relationship. Now, what happens when a Dismissively Avoidant attached individual dates someone that is Anxiously preoccupied? Then we have a conflict. Could these two people work in a relationship? Absolutely. How? They both have to communicate their needs, and be able to respect each other’s boundaries. If you are interested in learning more about this, or would like to work with a therapist that specializes in this, [contact us ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact)or [book an appointment.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Anxiety, Relationships **Tags:** attachment styles, couples counseling --- ### [Horny for Bridgerton? A Sex Therapist Explains Secret Reasons Why](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/05/06/horny-for-bridgerton/) **Published:** May 6, 2022 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721531856245-683x1024.jpg) Why is *everyone* so horny for Bridgerton? When I was a tweenager, going to the movies was one of the main highlights of my social life. Every weekend, my best friend and I would choose which movie we would like to spend our money on. Her parents would drop us off if mine picked us up. Once or twice, we would sneak into a second movie, believing it was the most scandalous thing we could do. I was a tween in the early aughts–the height of the chick flick genre. I saw them all. And, I was a voracious reader at that time, devouring my older sister’s chick lit during the week, and watching pretty women fall in love with pretty, and often problematic, men on the weekends. Somewhere along the way into my teenage years and early 20s, it became uncool to believe in romance. It got to the point in college where I’d convinced myself that romance made me uncomfortable. Give me sex and situationships and I could pretend with the rest of them that, “I like you but I don’t want a girlfriend,” was enough for me. ## The Something Changed Halfway through graduate school, a friend of mine recommended that I try reading a contemporary romance novel for fun. She wanted my opinion on the neurodivergent main character exploring sexuality. I went into it with a purpose and came out with a renewed love for romance and reading. I’m not sure why I was so reluctant to dive into [Bridgerton](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/bridgerton). But, I allowed season one and all of its fanfare to pass without a second thought. It was never even on my queue. Fast forward to season two’s premiere and I finally stopped trying to be too cool for historical romance. What started as a, “Fine, I’ll give it a shot,” response to my sister begging me to watch it, turned into a weekend binge of seasons one and two, barely leaving my bed between episodes. I came out of a haze on Monday morning, feeling like I had experienced a fever dream of gentlemen and ladies brushing noses and sneaking longing glances. So, what is it about Bridgerton that gets us going? Why do the stories and characters draw us in? ## Yearning. Anticipation. Tension. After becoming a romance connoisseur, I learned there are several tropes and everyone has their feelings on their favorite trope. Season two dropped and it pictured an exquisite “enemies to lovers” story. Not only enemies to lovers, but forbidden. Eight episodes filled with heavy breathing, a brush of hands, grazing noses, getting so close to satisfaction and having to teeter on the edge and wait! What is it about yearning, anticipation, and tension that is so sexy? Sexual tension is everything leading up to the act of sex (whatever sex might look like for you). It often happens when we desire someone but we do not act on those desires. It can often feel like butterflies or a spark. In my sex therapy circles, we sometimes refer to it as “a tingle.” ## Feeling seen and understood can create safety and increases sexual chemistry. So much of Bridgerton season two relies on eye contact, one of the key signs of sexual attraction, a window to the soul. While holding eye contact can feel and be very vulnerable during intimate moments, it can trigger the release of the pleasure hormone, dopamine, creating excitement and happiness. Watching Kate and Anthony engage in moments of longing felt like being part of it. The use of camera angles and choreography made it easy to imagine being on the other end of a look of desire and need. Since Bridgerton season two aired March, I’ve assigned several clients the homework of watching Bridgerton and paying attention to signs of arousal. One of my clients, (whom I received permission to use a conversation we participated in during one session) stated that watching Kanthony interact made her realize that she wanted to feel desired and respected. We discussed how Anthony respected Kate but made it known that she was on his mind, infiltrating his thoughts. We dove in further, dissecting how frustrating and difficult it can be to exist in a world where men aren’t taught or given permission to voice their desire and need for a woman in a way that is respectful and hot. This opened up a larger discussion on how women are not taught to prioritize their pleasure and desire, but that’s a conversation for another blog post. ## Bridgerton was created for a woman’s gaze. Something our culture and society hasn’t prioritized for women historically. This is my theory on why Bridgerton made everyone so horny and excited. It mixed erotica with romantic context and created something enjoyable but relatable. Most people long to be seen, heard, and accepted for the parts of them that are incredible, and also the parts that are flawed. --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** sex therapist, sex Therapy --- ### [Why Culturally Sensitive Therapy Matters and How to Find the Right Fit](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/30/culturally-sensitive-therapy-how-to-find-the-best-therapist-for-your-background/) **Published:** October 30, 2024 **Author:** Zara Khan, LPC **Content:** Finding the right therapist can transform your healing journey. Research shows that the connection between you and your therapist drives positive outcomes in therapy. When your therapist shares your cultural background, this connection often runs deeper and creates better results. Keep reading to learn more about culturally sensitive therapy. ![Portrait of Pennsylvania therapist Zara Khan, MS, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Zara-e1725405887894-763x1024.jpg) ## Why Culturally Sensitive Therapy? Cultural understanding creates an instant bridge between you and your therapist. Your therapist will likely recognize the unique dynamics you face because they’ve experienced similar situations themselves. Many clients feel relieved when they don’t need to explain basic cultural concepts during their sessions. Instead of spending valuable time teaching their therapist about their background, they can focus on their personal growth and healing. ### The Language Connection Language plays a crucial role in culturally sensitive therapy. Many emotions and experiences don’t translate perfectly into English. When your therapist speaks your native language, you can express yourself more fully and authentically. They understand the subtle meanings behind certain phrases and how these reflect your cultural values. This deeper understanding helps them guide you more effectively through your therapeutic journey. ### Cultural Understanding Creates Better Solutions Your cultural background deeply influences how you solve problems. A therapist who shares your cultural identity knows which approaches will work best for your situation. For example, South Asian clients often struggle with typical Western advice about setting family boundaries. A South Asian therapist understands that in collectivist cultures, traditional boundary-setting might seem disrespectful. They can suggest more culturally appropriate solutions that honor both your needs and your cultural values. ### Empathy Through Shared Experience While any skilled therapist can offer support, someone who shares your cultural background brings a unique level of understanding to your sessions. They recognize the subtle challenges you face because they’ve navigated similar experiences. This shared understanding creates a deeper therapeutic connection. ### Benefits of Culturally Sensitive Therapy: - Faster progress because less time is spent explaining cultural basics - More effective communication through shared language - Better solutions that respect your cultural values - Deeper emotional understanding and connection - Stronger therapeutic alliance ## Finding Your Match When searching for a therapist, consider asking about their cultural background and experience working with clients from your culture. Many therapists now specialize in [culturally sensitive therapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/culturally-sensitive-therapy) and understand its importance in the healing process. A therapist who shares your cultural identity brings more than just professional training to your sessions – they bring lived experience and deep cultural understanding. This combination often creates a more effective and meaningful therapeutic experience, helping you achieve your goals while honoring your cultural heritage. Being able to speak to a therapist who can validate you and truly empathize with you can feel so healing. Hopefully, you can feel that with any therapist, but clients who share a cultural or ethnic identity with their therapist tend to report that the connection and understanding is much deeper and more intimate. --- Zara Khan, LPC is one our therapists at Therapy for Women Center. She specializes in working with clients with anxiety, depression, trauma and life transitions. To learn more about her, [click here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/zara-khan-ms-lpc/) **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** culturally sensitive therapy, south asian therapy --- ### [The Truth About Intensive Couples Therapy in Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/07/how-to-revitalize-your-relationship-with-intensive-couples-therapy-in-philadelphia/) **Published:** November 7, 2024 **Author:** Melissa Huff Smoldt, LPC **Content:** As a couples therapist, I often hear the same words: “Let’s schedule it.” Finally, both partners agree it’s time for therapy – that’s usually the hardest part! But then reality hits. Like many therapists in Philadelphia, my regular weekly sessions are booked weeks in advance. That first session focuses on getting to know you, understanding your relationship, and learning why you’ve decided to start therapy. Then come the individual sessions. Before you know it, weeks have passed, and you feel like you haven’t even started addressing your core issues. This is why I and other therapists at Therapy for Women offer Intensive Couples Therapy in Philadelphia. ![Portrait of Philadelphia Therapist Melissa Huff Smoldt, LPC, LMHC, specializing in couples and couples intensive therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/tfwc_miniportsessionjuly2021-9985-1-683x1024.jpeg) ## Why I Offer Intensive Couples Therapy in Philadelphia While traditional weekly therapy works for many couples I see, what about those in crisis? Or couples who want to make progress more quickly? I’ve worked with couples dealing with: - Recently discovered infidelity - One partner considering divorce - Major life decisions looming (relocating, having children, career changes) - Severe communication breakdowns needing immediate attention For these couples, waiting weeks to address these issues only prolongs their stress and frustration. That’s exactly why I work with clients for couples intensives. I want to provide an opportunity to dive deep into these issues without the usual constraints of 50-minute sessions. ## The Intensive Couples Therapy Experience Here’s what I offer: two full days, six hours each day. It’s an immersive experience that gives you plenty of time to have your feelings heard, understand your partner, and receive my guidance through those tough conversations. While this might sound intimidating at first, the outcomes I’ve witnessed have been invaluable. ### What to Expect in Your Two-Day Intensive **Day One:** I start with getting to know you as a couple and understanding what brings you to therapy. Then, I meet with each of you individually to hear your perspective on the relationship. After that, we really dive in! **Day Two:** We focus on practical strategies and deeper healing: - Communication techniques for managing conflict - Identifying and healing past hurts - Learning to share feelings openly - Creating a roadmap for the relationship you want ## Benefits of Couples Intensives Clients who have undergone intensive couples therapy in Philadelphia often share how much they benefit from being able to immerse themselves in these sessions. They appreciate: - Getting the equivalent of 12 therapy sessions in just two days - No more “that’s all we have time for today” moments - Maintaining momentum in their healing process - The ability to work through issues without weekly interruptions Is My Intensive Couples Therapy Program Right for You? In my experience as a Philadelphia therapist, intensive couples therapy works best for: - Couples facing immediate relationship crises - Partners who have tried traditional therapy without success - Busy professionals struggling to commit to weekly sessions - Those ready for deep, focused relationship work ## Getting Started I know it sounds like a lot – but your relationship is worth it, and so are you. While I continue to work with couples in traditional weekly therapy (and it works great for many!), if you’re looking to figure things out with your partner now, [intensive couples therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/couples-intensive-therapy/) in Philadelphia might be your answer. Before scheduling an intensive, I always have a 20-minute consultation call with couples. This gives you the chance to: - Share what you hope to get out of the intensive - Ask any questions about my approach - Learn more about my Philadelphia practice - Determine if we’re a good fit to work together Ready to dedicate a weekend to your relationship? Let’s work together to create the connection you both deserve. [Click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) to get started and we will schedule your consultation call. We’ll discuss how intensive couples therapy can help transform your relationship. --- Melissa Huff Smoldt, LPC is a licensed therapist in Philadelphia and Main Line, Pennsylvania specializing in working with couples. She is extensively trained in the [Gottman Method](https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/), which informs all her work. Learn more about her [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/melissa-huff-smoldt-lpc-lmhc/) **Categories:** Relationships **Tags:** couples intensive, couples intensive therapy, couples therapy, crisis therapy, gottman method, Gottman Therapy --- ### [10 Proven Ways to Manage Overstimulation in Motherhood](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/02/overstimulated-mom-how-to-cope/) **Published:** December 2, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** As a mother, if you had told me that the hardest part of parenting would be overstimulation, I would have thought you were joking. Like many, I feared the big things: regretting having a child, not loving my child enough. But the reality of motherhood brought an unexpected challenge – the overwhelming sensory experience of parenting. In this article, we’ll explore what it means to be an overstimulated mom, and provide ten practical ways to manage it, including the option of therapy when needed. ![the author, an overstimulated mom with her newborn baby ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Stills_By_Hernan_Mike_Amanda_Newborn_00065-682x1024.jpg) ## Understanding Overstimulation in Motherhood [Overstimulation](https://www.henryford.com/blog/2023/12/how-to-identify-and-manage-overstimulation) in motherhood is essentially sensory overload. It occurs when there’s too much information coming in from your senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell), and your brain starts to shut down. For mothers, this can manifest as: - Difficulty thinking clearly - Quick temper or irritability - Intense urges to scream or make the sensations stop - Feeling overwhelmed by normal daily tasks Recognizing these signs is the first step in managing overstimulation effectively. ## What To Do If You’re An Overstimulated Mom ### 1. Recognize Your Internal Sensations to Manage Overstimulation in Motherhood One of the most overlooked aspects of overstimulation is our internal state. When our basic needs aren’t met, we’re more susceptible to overstimulation. Pay attention to: - Hunger: Are you skipping meals due to busy schedules? - Fatigue: Is lack of sleep contributing to your overwhelm? - Physical discomfort: Are you ignoring aches and pains? By addressing these internal factors, you can raise your threshold for external stimuli and better manage overstimulation in motherhood. ### 2. Identify Your Specific Triggers Everyone has different sensitivities. Some mothers might be more affected by noise, while others struggle with constant touch or strong smells. Take time to observe and note what specifically triggers your feelings of overstimulation. This awareness can help you prepare and implement targeted coping strategies. ### 3. Reduce Multitasking to Combat Overstimulation in Motherhood As mothers, we often pride ourselves on our ability to juggle multiple tasks. However, excessive multitasking can significantly contribute to overstimulation. Try to: - Focus on one task at a time when possible - Break your day into smaller, manageable chunks - Use time-blocking techniques to allocate specific times for different activities By reducing multitasking, you give your brain more capacity to handle unexpected stimuli without becoming overwhelmed. ### 4. Utilize Tools and Technology Don’t hesitate to use tools that can help manage overstimulation. Some effective options include: - Noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs - White noise machines - Dimmer switches for lighting - Apps for meditation or calming sounds These tools can provide a buffer against overwhelming sensory input and help create moments of calm in your day. ### 5. Create Sensory-Friendly Spaces Designate areas in your home where you can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. This might be: - A quiet corner with comfortable seating - A dimly lit room for visual relaxation - A space with minimal clutter to reduce visual stimulation Having a go-to space can provide much-needed relief during intense moments of overstimulation in motherhood. ### 6. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in managing overstimulation. Try these techniques: - Deep breathing exercises - Body scan meditations - Grounding techniques (like focusing on five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, etc.) These practices can help center you and reduce the impact of overwhelming sensory input. ### 7. Implement Regular Breaks and Self-Care It’s crucial to build in regular breaks throughout your day. This might look like: - Taking a few minutes alone in the bathroom - Stepping outside for fresh air - Engaging in a quick, enjoyable activity just for you Remember, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for managing overstimulation in motherhood effectively. ### 8. Communicate Your Needs to Reduce Overstimulation in Motherhood Open communication with your partner, family, or support system is vital. Let them know about your struggles with overstimulation and how they can help. This might involve: - Taking over childcare duties for short periods - Helping to create a quieter environment - Understanding when you need to step away briefly Clear communication can lead to better support and understanding from those around you. ### 9. Adjust Your Expectations It’s important to recognize that feeling overstimulated doesn’t make you a bad parent. Adjust your expectations and remember: - It’s okay to not enjoy every moment of parenting - Struggling with sensory overload is common and valid - Your needs matter too By shifting your perspective, you can reduce guilt and be more compassionate with yourself. ### 10. Consider Therapy for Moms If overstimulation is significantly impacting your daily life, consider seeking professional help. Therapy for moms can provide: - Tailored strategies for managing overstimulation - Techniques for stress reduction and emotional regulation - A safe space to process your feelings and experiences A therapist can offer valuable support and tools to help you navigate the challenges of motherhood, including overstimulation. At Therapy for Women center, we specialize in working with moms at every phase of parenting. Learn more about our approach[ here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/womens-issues/) ## Next Steps For The Overstimulated Mom Managing life as an overstimulated mom is an ongoing process that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-compassion. By implementing these strategies and being open to seeking help when needed, including therapy for moms, you can create a more balanced and enjoyable parenting experience. Remember, every mother’s journey is unique. It’s okay to struggle. By acknowledging your challenges with overstimulation and actively working to manage them, you’re taking care of yourself. You’re setting a positive example for your children about self-care and emotional health. Motherhood is a beautiful, challenging journey. With these tools and an understanding of overstimulation, you can navigate its sensory challenges more effectively, finding more joy and peace in your parenting experience. If you are interested in a therapist who gets it, we would love to work with you at Therapy for Women Center. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Motherhood, overstimulation, postpartum, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, self care, therapy for moms --- ### [Understanding A Trauma Flashback: How to Support Trauma Survivors](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/21/understanding-a-trauma-flashback-how-to-support-trauma-survivors/) **Published:** November 21, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Have you ever witnessed someone you care about suddenly seem disconnected from reality? They might be experiencing a trauma flashback. At Therapy for Women, we have a number of therapists who specialize in trauma and PTSD. We understand that these are intense experiences and we want to help you support your loved ones. ![woman supporting someone having a trauma flashback](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/pexels-cottonbro-5378692-scaled.jpg) ## What Is a Trauma Flashback? A trauma flashback happens when someone suddenly re-experiences a past traumatic event as if it’s happening right now. Unlike regular memories, flashbacks feel incredibly real and present. During these moments, your loved one might feel overwhelmed, scared, or completely disconnected from their current surroundings. ## Common Signs of a Trauma Flashback When someone experiences a flashback, you might notice several signs: - Sudden changes in behavior or awareness - Difficulty responding to their environment - Intense emotional reactions like crying or shaking - Physical responses such as rapid breathing - Looking around with fear or confusion - Protecting themselves from invisible threats - Trouble speaking or making eye contact ## How to Help Someone During a PTSD Flashback ### 1. Create a Safe Space First and foremost, ensure the environment is calm and quiet. Moreover, keep some distance initially, as unexpected touch can worsen the experience. ### 2. Use Your Voice as an Anchor Speak in a steady, calm tone. For instance, you might say: - “You’re safe here with me” - “This is happening in your memory, not right now” - “Look around – you’re in your living room” ### 3. Help Them Ground Themselves Try these [grounding techniques](https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques): - Ask them to name five things they can see - Guide them to feel their feet on the floor - Encourage slow, deep breaths together - Help them focus on present-moment sensations ### 4. Avoid Common Mistakes Several actions might unintentionally make things worse: - Don’t touch without permission - Avoid asking about the traumatic memory - Never rush or pressure them - Don’t express frustration or impatience ### 5. Offer Gentle Guidance You can also help them reconnect with the present: - Remind them of today’s date - Tell them where they are - Mention familiar objects around them - Describe the current weather or season ## After the Trauma Flashback After your loved one regains stability, there are several ways to provide continued support. First, check in about their immediate needs, whether that’s offering water, a comfort item, some space, or simply staying close by. Then, as you look toward long-term healing, focus on understanding their specific triggers, work together to create a safety plan, and gently encourage them to seek professional support. Throughout this journey, remember that healing takes time – your patience and consistent presence can make a meaningful difference in their recovery process. ## Final Thoughts Remember, supporting someone through trauma flashbacks requires patience and understanding. Most importantly, you don’t need to be perfect – being present and compassionate makes a significant difference. If you’re in [Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/locations) or Saint Petersburg, Florida and seeking support for trauma-related experiences, we have mental health professionals who specialize in trauma recovery. Proper support and treatment can transform these challenging experiences into opportunities for healing and growth. Your presence and support matter more than you know. With time, understanding, and professional guidance, healing becomes possible. To get started with a trauma therapist at our practice, [click here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** flashbacks, PTSD, trauma, trauma flashback --- ### [Yes, Pet Grief is Real: Here's How to Deal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/27/yes-pet-grief-is-real-heres-how-to-deal/) **Published:** November 27, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** When a beloved pet dies, the grief can feel overwhelming. Many people, especially young adults, find themselves surprised by the depth of their pet loss emotions. Pet grief is very common – and it’s completely normal to feel devastated by this unique type of loss. Now that you know it’s absolutely normal to feel grief over the loss of your pet, let’s talk about how to deal. ![photo of woman and pet dog for article on pet grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/elegant-woman-black-suit-with-black-bulldog-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Pet Grief Pet grief often hits differently than other types of loss. These animal companions provide unconditional love, constant presence, and pure acceptance. They become morning alarm clocks, evening walking partners, and steady witnesses to life’s ups and downs. They surround you every day. This type of loss creates holes in daily routines and hearts alike. ### Many people struggle with the intensity of pet grief because: - Society often dismisses animal loss as less significant than human loss - Workplaces rarely offer bereavement time for pet deaths - Some family members might not understand the depth of the bond - Pet owners often feel embarrassed about their strong emotions - The grief can feel isolating when others expect quick recovery ### The reality? Pets play unique roles in modern life: - They witness daily moments, from morning coffee to midnight snacks - Many young adults consider pets their first “kids” - Pets provide stability during major life changes like moves, breakups, or career shifts - They offer unconditional love in an increasingly disconnected world - For many, pets represent their most consistent relationship Society doesn’t always recognize pet grief as legitimate loss. Comments like “it was just a cat” or “you can get another dog” minimize the real pain of losing a pet. Remember that grief reflects love – the deeper the connection, the more intense the loss feels. ## Practical Ways to Process Pet Loss ### Create Memorial Rituals - Frame favorite photos - Make a memory box with toys and collar - Plant a tree or garden in their memory - Create a photo album or digital slideshow - Write a letter about favorite memories ### Take Care of Yourself - Maintain regular meal times - Get outside for fresh air - Stay connected with supportive people - Rest when needed - Journal about your feelings ## When Pet Grief Feels Too Heavy Sometimes pet loss triggers deeper grief responses, especially if: - The pet helped manage anxiety or depression - Their death brings up other unprocessed losses - They provided essential emotional support - Their passing was sudden or traumatic - They were part of major life transitions ## Finding Support for Pet Grief Many people benefit from: - Joining pet loss support groups - Connecting with other pet owners - Speaking with a mental health professional - Participating in online pet grief forums - Sharing with friends who understand pet bonds ## Moving Forward While Remembering Healing from pet loss doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, it means: - Carrying memories while continuing forward - Accepting that grief may come in waves - Understanding that future pets don’t replace past ones - Recognizing how this pet shaped your life - Finding ways to honor their impact ## Seeking Additional Support For those in Philadelphia, PA or Saint Petersburg, Florida struggling with pet grief, speaking with a therapist can help process these complex emotions. We also have therapists available to work with people virtually in 42 states. Many mental health professionals understand that pet loss represents a significant life change and can provide tools for managing this unique form of [grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/grief "grief"). Remember, grieving a pet shows the depth of the human-animal bond. This loss matters, and seeking support shows strength, not weakness. Take time to honor both the pet and the grief process itself. **Categories:** Grief **Tags:** grief, grief and loss, pet grief, pet loss --- ### [How to find the Best Philadelphia EMDR Therapist for Trauma Recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/12/04/how-to-find-an-emdr-philadelphia-therapist-for-trauma-recovery/) **Published:** December 4, 2025 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Trauma can leave lasting impacts on your mental health, affecting your daily life in ways you might not even realize. If you’re searching for an EMDR Philadelphia therapist, you’re already taking a brave step toward healing. [Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) ](https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/)has helped countless women process traumatic experiences and reclaim their lives. ![EMDR Philadelphia therapist preparing for session ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/side-view-woman-doing-creative-journaling-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding EMDR Therapy [EMDR therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) is a specialized treatment that helps your brain process traumatic memories differently. Unlike traditional talk therapy, this approach uses bilateral stimulation to help your mind heal from psychological trauma. This evidence-based method has proven effective for treating PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other trauma-related conditions. When you work with a qualified trauma therapist, you’ll discover how this unique approach can reduce the emotional charge of difficult memories. Many clients report significant improvement in just a few sessions. This PTSD treatment has shown remarkable success rates for trauma survivors seeking relief from distressing symptoms. The therapy works by helping your brain reprocess memories that got “stuck” during traumatic events. Your brain’s natural healing mechanisms can finally complete the work they couldn’t do when the trauma first occurred. ## What to Look for in a Philadelphia EMDR Therapist Not every therapist who offers trauma therapy has extensive training in this specialized method. When selecting an EMDR Philadelphia provider, ask about their specific qualifications. Look for therapists who have completed comprehensive training through [EMDRIA](https://www.emdria.org/) (the EMDR International Association) and maintain ongoing education in trauma treatment. As a woman or non-binary person, the best EMDR therapist should also have experience working with women. Women’s trauma often differs from men’s experiences, and your therapist should understand these nuances. They should create a welcoming environment where you feel heard and validated. Consider specialists who focus on the specific type of trauma you’ve experienced. Some practitioners specialize in childhood trauma, while others have extensive experience with domestic violence, sexual assault, or complex PTSD. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, our trauma specialists understand the unique challenges women face. ## Questions to Ask Potential Therapists Before starting treatment, schedule consultations with potential practitioners. During these meetings, ask important questions about their approach. How long have they been practicing trauma therapy? What types of trauma do they most commonly treat? Do they have experience with your specific concerns? Also, inquire about their treatment philosophy. The right EMDR specialist will explain the process clearly and set realistic expectations. They should discuss how they’ll help you feel grounded and safe throughout your healing journey. Ask about their completion rate with clients. How many clients typically finish the full course of treatment? What happens if you feel overwhelmed during a session? A skilled trauma-informed therapist will have protocols in place to ensure you never feel re-traumatized during processing. ## Who Benefits from EMDR Therapy Many women seek EMDR services in Philadelphia after experiencing various trauma-related conditions. Childhood abuse, domestic violence, car accidents, workplace trauma—all of these can be effectively treated with this approach. The method can also address complex PTSD from multiple incidents over time. Even if you’re unsure whether your experiences qualify as “trauma,” a qualified practitioner can help you determine if this treatment approach is right for you. Sometimes, experiences we minimize actually have significant impacts on our mental health. Bullying, medical procedures, breakups, or even witnessing someone else’s trauma can all benefit from processing. People with PTSD symptoms—including flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, or avoidance behaviors—often find tremendous relief through this method. Anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and phobias may also respond well to trauma-focused interventions. ## Getting Started with an EMDR Therapist in Philly Selecting therapist is a personal decision that deserves careful consideration. Trust your instincts during initial consultations. The right therapist will make you feel comfortable discussing difficult topics while maintaining appropriate professional boundaries. If you are looking for the best EMDR therapists, look no further than Therapy for Women. We have a team of over 10 therapists who specifically specialize in EMDR. We also understand the unique challenges women face when healing from trauma. Our experienced team includes trained EMDR therapists who specialize in women’s mental health. We offer convenient [locations](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/locations) in Philadelphia, Main Line, and Collingswood, NJ, making quality trauma treatment accessible when you need it most. Don’t let trauma continue controlling your life. Contact us today to learn how Philadelphia EMDR therapy can help you move forward with confidence and peace. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** anxiety, bilateral stimulation, depression, domestic violence, EMDR, Philadelphia EMDR, PTSD, sexual abuse, sexual assault, trauma, Trauma therapy --- ### [Fight Flight Freeze Fawn: Discover Your Hidden Survival Pattern](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/10/29/fight-flight-freeze-fawn-discover-your-hidden-survival-pattern/) **Published:** October 29, 2025 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** You’re having a heated conversation with your partner, and suddenly your mind goes blank. Or maybe you find yourself apologizing profusely when your boss criticizes work that wasn’t even yours. These reactions aren’t random – they’re part of the *fight flight freeze fawn* response system your nervous system uses to protect you. Most people have heard of “fight or flight,” but the full picture of trauma responses includes four distinct patterns. Understanding fight flight freeze fawn responses can completely change how you navigate relationships, stress, and your own healing journey. ![Young woman doing EMDR therapy for fight flight freeze fawn response ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/woman-headphone-covering-eye-scaled.jpg) ## What Triggers Fight Flight Freeze Fawn Responses? These responses aren’t reserved for life-threatening situations. Your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a genuine threat and your mother-in-law’s passive-aggressive comments at dinner. The fight flight freeze fawn spectrum activates from both major traumas *and* accumulated everyday stressors. That critical parent, the unpredictable household you grew up in, or even that toxic workplace – they all train your nervous system to react in specific protective patterns. When triggered, your body launches into one of these four modes before your conscious mind even registers what’s happening. ## How Fight Flight Freeze Fawn Shows Up in Daily Life **Fight** isn’t always throwing punches or yelling. In everyday life, this response looks like snapping at your kids over small mistakes, sending that harsh email you’ll regret later, or feeling constantly irritated. Fight can also manifest as relentless criticism – of yourself or others. **Flight** goes beyond physically leaving. You’ll recognize it in workaholism, compulsive exercising, or suddenly remembering “urgent” tasks during emotional conversations. That inability to sit still when things get heavy? Classic flight. So is perfectionism – staying ten steps ahead so nobody can catch you vulnerable. **Freeze** feels like someone unplugged your brain. Words vanish mid-sentence, decisions become impossible, and you might literally feel cemented to your chair. Unlike the deer-in-headlights image, modern freezing looks like endless scrolling, Netflix binges, or that foggy disconnection during arguments where you’re physically present but mentally gone. **Fawn** means shapeshifting into whoever keeps the peace. It’s laughing at jokes that hurt you, saying yes when every cell screams no, or apologizing for taking up space. Fawning means monitoring everyone’s mood and adjusting yourself accordingly – exhausting work that leaves you wondering who you actually are beneath all that pleasing. ## Why Your Trauma Response Matters Your dominant response reveals your survival story. If confrontation made things worse growing up, you probably learned to freeze or fawn. Or if being “perfect” earned love, fawning became second nature. If escape equaled safety, flight became your superpower. Most interesting? You might cycle through different responses depending on context. Maybe you’re all fight with customer service but pure fawn with romantic partners. Perhaps authority figures trigger freeze, but conflict with peers activates flight. These patterns map your emotional history – showing where you felt most threatened and what kept you safest. Understanding your fight flight freeze fawn tendencies isn’t about blame or pathology. These responses literally kept you alive or sane during overwhelming circumstances. The problem isn’t having them; it’s when they run on autopilot in situations where you’re actually safe. ## Can You Change Your Fight Flight Freeze Fawn Reactions? Yes! When it comes to changing your physiological body reactions, we believe therapy that has a body based component is essential. Our therapists use somatic therapy and EMDR. Unlike talk therapy alone, EMDR directly addresses how your brain stores traumatic memories that trigger these responses. During EMDR sessions, bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements) helps your brain reprocess stuck memories, essentially updating your nervous system’s threat detection software. Your fight flight freeze fawn responses are like outdated fire alarms going off when you burn toast. EMDR helps recalibrate these alarms to recognize the difference between actual danger and everyday stress. You don’t have to relive every traumatic detail. EMDR targets the neural networks holding these memories, allowing your brain to naturally reorganize them. Here’s what typically happens: as EMDR processes root memories, your nervous system starts distinguishing past from present. Most clients need 8-12 EMDR sessions to see significant shifts in their fight flight freeze fawn patterns, though some notice changes after just a few sessions. EMDR essentially gives your nervous system new options while removing the traumatic charge from old memories. Learn more about our approach to EMDR [here](http://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy). ## FAQ **Is fight flight freeze fawn a real psychological concept?** Yes! While “fight or flight” has been recognized since the 1920s, researchers later identified freeze and fawn as equally important trauma responses. These four responses are widely recognized in trauma-informed therapy. **Can someone experience all four fight flight freeze fawn responses?** Absolutely. You might freeze first, then shift to fawning. Or feel fight energy internally while appearing frozen externally. Most people have a primary response but can access all four depending on the situation. **How do fight flight freeze fawn responses affect relationships?** These patterns significantly impact relationships. Chronic fawning creates resentment, excessive fight damages trust, constant flight prevents intimacy, and freezing blocks communication. Understanding both partners’ patterns transforms relationship dynamics. --- At Therapy for Women in [Pennsylvania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/pennsylvania-therapy/), and [New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/new-jersey-therapists/), we understand how exhausting it can be to navigate life while your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. Ready to explore your trauma responses in a safe, supportive environment? We have trauma therapists who specialize in somatic therapy and EMDR. Reach out today to start your healing journey. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** anxiety, bilateral stimulation, burnout, depression, EMDR, PTSD, Therapy Modalities, trauma, Trauma response --- ### [How to Make Sober Friends: 10 Ways to Empower Your Recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/18/how-to-make-sober-friends-10-ways-to-empower-your-recovery/) **Published:** February 18, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Let’s face it: making friends as an adult can feel overwhelming. Now, throw sobriety into the mix, and you might think you’re attempting the impossible. But here’s the truth – making sober friends isn’t just possible, it’s a game-changer for your recovery journey and your life. So, let’s dive into how you can build your squad of sober friends without feeling like you’re back in middle school. ![amanda e white talks about how to make sober friends in her book Not Drinking Tonight](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Stills_By_Hernan_Mike_Amanda_Newborn_00294.jpg) ## Why Sober Friends Matter Before we jump into the ‘how’, let’s talk about the ‘why’. Surrounding yourself with sober friends isn’t just about having people to hang out with on Friday nights. It’s about creating a support system that gets you. These are the people who won’t pressure you to “just have one drink” or look at you like you’re crazy when you order a mocktail. Sober friends understand the journey you’re on because they’re on it too. They’re your cheerleaders, your reality check, and your support. Plus, they’re living proof that life doesn’t end when the drinking stops – it gets better. ## How To Make Sober Friends ### 1. Embrace the Power of Recovery Meetings Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Isn’t that just for people with ‘real’ problems?” Nope. Recovery meetings, whether it’s AA, SMART Recovery, or another program, are gold mines for making sober friends. Here’s why: - Everyone’s there for the same reason: to stay sober and improve their lives. - It’s a judgment-free zone. Your story is safe here. - Regular meetings mean regular opportunities to connect. Tip: Don’t just dash out after the meeting. Stick around for the coffee and chat. That’s where the real connections happen. ### 2. Dive into Sober Social Media Welcome to the digital age of sobriety. Instagram, Facebook, and even TikTok are bursting with sober communities. Start by following hashtags like #SoberLife, #RecoveryPosse, or #SoberIsSexy. Comment on posts, engage in discussions, and don’t be shy about sliding into DMs (respectfully, of course). Bonus: Many online sober communities organize meetups. It’s like online dating, but for friends, and with less awkward small talk about your job. ### 3. Explore Sober Events and Meetups Believe it or not, there’s a whole world of sober events out there. From sober raves (yes, they exist) to alcohol-free book clubs, there’s something for everyone. Check out websites like Meetup.com or Facebook Events for sober gatherings in your area. ### 4. Volunteer Your Way to Sober Friends Volunteering isn’t just good for the soul; it’s great for making sober friends. Look for opportunities at local recovery centers, sober living homes, or even animal shelters (because who doesn’t bond over cute puppies?). The best part? You’re already starting off with a shared interest and value. ### 5. Find a Health or Wellness Community Fitness communities are often hotbeds for sober friendships. Join a running club, sign up for yoga classes, or try that weird-looking workout class at your gym. Exercise releases endorphins, making you feel good naturally – no alcohol required. Bonus: You’re improving your health and making friends. It’s a win-win. ### 6. Become a Regular Somewhere Find a coffee shop, bookstore, or juice bar you like and become a regular. Strike up conversations with the staff and other patrons. Over time, you’ll start to recognize familiar faces and build connections. Be patient and consistent. ### 7. Be Open About Your Sobriety This one might feel scary, but it’s crucial. Being open about your sobriety does two things: 1. It helps you find your community faster. Other sober people will gravitate towards you. 2. It weeds out people who might not support your journey. You don’t need to wear a “I’m Sober” t-shirt (unless you want to – no judgment here), but don’t be afraid to mention it when it comes up naturally in conversation. ### 8. Host Your Own Sober Gatherings Take the bull by the horns and organize your own sober events. Movie nights, game nights, potluck dinners – the possibilities are endless. Invite people you’ve met through other sober activities and encourage them to bring friends. Pro tip: Make it clear in the invite that it’s an alcohol-free event. This sets expectations and ensures everyone’s on the same page. ### 9. Try Apps Designed for Sober Friends Yes, there are apps for that! Platforms like Sober Grid, Loosid, and I Am Sober not only help you track your sobriety but also connect you with other sober individuals in your area. Think of it as Tinder, but for sober friendships. ### 10. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself Making friends takes time, whether you’re sober or not. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with everyone right away. Keep putting yourself out there, and remember – quality over quantity. One genuine sober friend is worth more than a hundred drinking buddies. ## Wrapping It Up Making sober friends might seem daunting at first, but it’s totally doable and absolutely worth it. These connections can be the cornerstone of your recovery and the beginning of some of the most authentic relationships of your life. You can keep reading my book, [Not Drinking Tonight](https://a.co/d/7iiMAMB) for more info on how to make sober friends! If you are looking for additional support on your sober journey, Therapy for Women Center has a number of [therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists) who specialize in sobriety as well. **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** alcohol use disorder, sober, sober friends, sobriety, substance use disorders --- ### [Counseling for Young Women in Philadelphia: Ultimate Therapist-Finding Guide](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/18/how-to-find-a-therapist-counseling-in-philadelphia-young-women/) **Published:** January 18, 2025 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Finding a therapist who truly gets you can feel overwhelming. As a young woman navigating life in Philadelphia, or in the suburbs (we have offices on the Main Line and in South Jersey) you deserve someone who understands your unique challenges. We specialize in counseling for young women struggling with anxiety, depression, career challenges, dating and more. Let’s break down how to find your ideal therapeutic match. ![we offer counseling for young women in our Center City Philadelphia office ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/CB403724-scaled.jpg) ## How To Get Counseling in Philadelphia ### Start With Your Specific Needs Think about what matters most to you in a therapist. Do you want someone who understands career pressure? Dating struggles? Family dynamics? Write down your non-negotiables. Not all therapists specialize in offering counseling for young women. We also recommend thinking about what your schedule looks like. Young women often need evening or weekend appointments. We are proud to offer those, but many practices do not. Therefore, we recommend thinking about what your unique challenges are. For example, many young women find it helpful to look for therapists who specialize in: - Anxiety and depression management for twenty-somethings - Relationship and dating challenges in the modern world - Work-life balance and career development support - Cultural identity and family expectations ### Where to Look in the Philly Area The Philadelphia region offers many therapy options. If you live in the city, you can search by your specific neighborhood. We offer in person locations in [Center City](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city "Center City") and [Old City.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city "Old City.") If you live in the suburbs we have locations in [Bala Cynwyd](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line) and [South Jersey.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/collingswood-new-jersey/) Start your search with: - Local therapy practice websites - Recommendations from trusted friends - Your insurance provider’s [network directory](https://www.apa.org/topics/managed-care-insurance/parity-guide) ### Questions to Ask Potential Therapists Before scheduling, reach out with questions like: - What experience do you have working with young women? - How do you approach anxiety/depression/relationships (whatever brings you in)? - Do you offer evening or weekend appointments? - What are your fees and do you take my insurance? ## Making the Most of Your Therapy Journey Trust your gut when choosing a therapist. The right fit should make you feel heard and understood from the first session. Remember: - It’s okay to try a few therapists before finding your match - Many offer free consultation calls to check the fit - Virtual therapy can give you more flexibility - Your needs might change over time, and that’s normal Ready to start? Our practice specializes in counseling for young women throughout Philadelphia and in the Main Line and Cherry Hill suburbs. We understand the unique pressures you face and offer both in-person and virtual sessions to fit your busy schedule. Take that first step toward feeling better. [Get started](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) today to learn how we can support your mental health journey. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** therapy for young women, young adults --- ### [What Makes Virtual Therapy Unique at Therapy for Women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/07/06/my-personal-experience-as-a-telehealth-therapist/) **Published:** July 6, 2023 **Author:** Julia Johnston, LPCC, LICDC **Content:** I will never forget March 2020 when Governor DeWine signed his executive order. The community mental health agency where I worked informed us we would be working from home until further notice. Each counselor received a laptop, and we were all sent home. Our patients were informed that their appointments would be moved to telehealth, and my team began to navigate unfamiliar territory. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721436776279.jpg) ## We experienced some benefits of telehealth therapy. Before the pandemic hit, all of our patients were seen in person. Our patients did not sign up for telehealth, and neither did we! So, we were learning together and trying everything from Zoom, to Teams, to Google Voice and the trusty telephone. Some patients thrived in the telehealth setting. I had patients on my caseload that shared more with me in the first few weeks of telehealth than they ever had in six years of in-person counseling. Something about telehealth made them feel more comfortable being vulnerable. And it was so beneficial for some patients that they still see me via telehealth today. There are other advantages to doing so, such as: **Accessibility:** Engaging in telehealth therapy gives patients and therapists more flexibility for scheduling appointments. All you need for a telehealth therapy session is a quiet, private room. This allows patients who typically struggle to attend appointments (parents without childcare, limited access to transportation, etc.) better accessibility to therapy services. **Time:** With accessibility comes a broader range of open times, as well. By eliminating barriers like transportation and driving, telehealth therapy provides more time flexibility for individuals to attend sessions. And, therapists are better able to offer early morning or late evening appointments. **Comfortability:** Patients can stay in the comfort of their own homes for telehealth therapy. They can remain in their safe spaces and have access to familiar things: their own blanket, their own comfy couch, etc. Telehealth allows for more open and honest discussion because patients feel relaxed in their homes. ## There are disadvantages of utilizing telehealth therapy, too. Telehealth therapy can be a great option when appropriate. However, there can be some downsides. Very quickly after the shutdown, my team realized some vulnerable populations were inappropriate for the telehealth setting. High-risk populations, such as individuals using illicit substances or who are suicidal, are not appropriate for telehealth due to the inability of counselors to adequately address safety concerns. A few other disadvantages include: **Poor continuity of care**: A provider may only be aware of some available resources or referral options (such as for a psychiatrist) in a patient’s area if they are working remotely from a different location. **Legal and ethical liabilities:** Working with high-risk populations via telehealth can be risky. While working remotely, a patient must physically be at the address on file in case of an emergency so the provider knows where and how to get them help. For example, a therapist must be able to locate a patient who is suicidal if a wellness check needs to be completed. **At-risk data security:** This has become a popular topic due to some big-name companies [breaking privacy promises](https://www.politico.com/news/2023/03/02/ftc-data-misuse-betterhelp-00085182) and sharing user data. Such risks put the burden on the patient to do thorough research before committing to a company/practice and may dissuade them from trying telehealth therapy in the first place. ## Telehealth at Therapy for Women is different for several reasons. If you are looking to start telehealth therapy, there are many options at your fingertips now. So…how do you choose? When I began looking to be a telehealth provider, I tried multiple agencies (including two top-rated telehealth counseling agencies who I guarantee you’ve seen in ads) before I found the right fit at Therapy for Women. Here are a few reasons I found this practice to be right for me: ### Information provided: Some telehealth agencies don’t share demographics or the address of the patient you’re working with. As I mentioned earlier, if an emergency occurs during a session or in between sessions, the therapist must be able to complete a wellness check to ensure their patient’s safety. At some big-name companies, if I had concerns, I would have to email a generic work email and would not get a timely response. But at TFW, I can access supervisors and colleagues 24/7 for resources and support. ### Collaboration: Because I have access to so many fellow providers at TFW, I’m able to reach out for feedback and engage in constant clinical discussions. TFW also has regular supervisions connecting all of the therapists on staff. These provide frequent opportunities to discuss barriers and strengths, and to learn from each other. Working with a wide range of therapists practicing such a wide range of specialties allows me to continue to become a better therapist and provide the best clinical care possible ### Electronic health record: Patients should feel safe and confident that their health information is protected when working with a therapist. TFW utilizes an Electronic Health Record to ensure patient information remains safe and private. ### Psychiatrist on staff: It can be challenging to find a psychiatrist, and wait times are sometimes lengthy. TFW has a [psychiatrist on staff](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/services), which allows me to place referrals within the practice with someone I already know and trust. I don’t have to research and blindly recommend a provider without any knowledge about their quality of service. By being able to work more directly and collaboratively with a psychiatrist to meet patients’ needs, I am able to provide continuity of care. Remember, there are a lot of available options for telehealth therapy! If you are considering taking the first step and scheduling with a provider, remember to do research and ask questions. Your mental health matters, and having a strong therapist and support system make a significant difference. *Julia is a virtual at Therapy for Women, specializing in anxiety, depression, trauma, substance use, and parenthood. To learn more about Julia or book an appointment, click here!* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Our Practice, virtual therapy --- ### [More Than a Body: A New Approach to Eating Disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/04/05/more-than-a-body-eating-disorder/) **Published:** April 5, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** If you struggle with an eating disorder or have a difficult relationship with your body. Fitness may be a complicated piece of your life. It may be tied to changing your body or looking a different way. Keep reading to learn how one our therapists changed her relationship with her body and learned she was more than a body through acceptance. ![mother son and granddaughter hugging because they are more than a body ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/medium-shot-woman-man-girl-731x1024.jpg) ## I sought after a body I could never have; it’s just not in my build. Treadmills and ellipticals turned into spin class, which turned into Zumba, kickboxing, and mixed yoga. Intermittently, I tried pole dancing and swimming, but nothing clicked until I stepped into a [CrossFit](https://www.crossfit.com/) gym. For the first time, CrossFit changed the voices in my head from begging me to get smaller and smaller into voices telling me to lift heavier, go faster, and be stronger. Those voices saved my life. I was headed toward destruction before I discovered lifting, destroying my body in one way or another, constantly at war with it. CrossFit is how I connected with my husband. It’s also changed my relationship with my body and food, seeing it as fuel and energy. I was pretty good at it, too, so the accomplishment-driven athlete in me, the inner child who was always decent but never great, felt like I got a do-over. But Covid-19 changed all of that. As a therapist, I experienced suffering on a level apart from my own and held that space for people. That type of emotional intensity is draining. Sooner or later something had to give in order for me to do this work and continue leading a healthy, balanced life. It had to be my dedication to CrossFit. A massive shift in identity for me; CrossFit had been foundational. It changed the trajectory of my life. But the energy I was spending and how I was training needed to be more sustainable. I still loved the way it made me feel, the community. ## Still, I had to start implementing other practices of maintaining movement. I chose yoga, not for a workout but for a yin, meditative recovery, more like a pause for my brain, forced into [mindfulness](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness) and presence. I also walked alone, with my dog, and sometimes with friends. As a result, fitness had gone from punishment to my body for not being “perfect” to a celebration of dedication, hard work, and strength, to now what? Just a piece of my life? (yes) Something that didn’t completely define me as an extension of my body and was done just because it made me feel good? (Yes) If this isn’t who I am, then what? (Oh, the possibilities!) Slowly I began to heal my eating disorder and my relationship with my body. I started to realize I had a body but was more than a body. What a strange experience to reconnect with a body that I’d been obsessed with for over 20 years. I don’t think I ever realized that I could be someone people genuinely see outside my body. Years and years and years of different therapists, some not so great, some wonderful, finally helped me understand that people genuinely don’t only love you for your body. ## How Eating Disorders Take Root I’ll list some things that helped me realize how I had become so obsessed. Maybe it will help you too: Minimize body checking. I no longer have a huge mirror in my room, and I’ve stopped staring at and pinching the parts of me I dislike. I’ve also stopped weighing myself. This helped a lot with disordered eating. Stop hanging out with people who make you feel like shit about your body. Hang out with people who do more than talk about their bodies. Instead, hang out with people who value you for who you are, not what you look like. Get rid of those clothes you’ve been holding onto that “might fit again.” Buy clothes that fit you. If a shoe doesn’t fit your feet, you don’t blame your feet. You blame the shoe. So, go buy some new jeans. Unfollow social media accounts that make you question or compare. Follow accounts that match your values and interests. Better yet, minimize your online time! (Pot meet Kettle) Listen to your body. Do you need to break a sweat? Stretch a little? Scream into the void? Perhaps you need a bit of rest (real rest). Your body does hold onto trauma. It’s not something your therapist says to make you feel better. Often, trauma shows itself in physical ways. Don’t force yourself through pain. Learn to rest. This will teach you to recognize you are more than a body. ## Learning to see yourself as more than a body is challenging. Learn about The Patriarchy. Because The Patriarchy is how we’ve learned what to value in ourselves. This includes what beauty standard we follow and how we should be sexually performative for men’s pleasure but feel shame for our own. The more we obsess over our bodies or learn to make ourselves smaller, the less time we have for other ventures. This easily can become an eating disorder if left unchecked. The diet industry makes a ton of money off of the patriarchal views of what beauty is. The diet industry shames us and sets us up for failure, causing us to continue to try the next thing, fueling capitalism. Yes, people make money from making us feel like shit about our bodies. Yes, they are doing it knowingly. Learning to see yourself for more than a body is challenging. It’s a choice every single day to question and challenge, but it is worth it. --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Anxiety, Eating Disorders **Tags:** Body image, health at every size --- ### [Important Things to Know About Anxiety Medication From a Psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/23/important-things-to-know-about-anxiety-medication-from-a-psychiatrist/) **Published:** July 23, 2025 **Author:** Eli Muhrer, MD **Content:** Anxiety can make everyday life feel like an uphill battle. Whether it’s racing thoughts keeping you awake, panic attacks disrupting your day, or constant worry affecting your relationships, anxiety takes a real toll. While therapy remains extremely important, anxiety medication can play an important role for many people. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we believe you deserve to understand all your options—without pressure to choose any particular path. ![anxiety medication ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/top-view-white-pills-with-yellow-tablet-684x1024.jpg)Top view of white pills with yellow tablet isolated ## The Role of Anxiety Medication in Treatment First and foremost, anxiety medication isn’t about numbing emotions or avoiding life’s challenges. Instead, these medications help dial down overwhelming symptoms so you can engage more fully with therapy, work, and relationships. Think of it as turning down the volume on anxiety so you can hear yourself think again. However, medication works best as part of a comprehensive approach. Many people find that combining anxiety medication with therapy—particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)—provides the most lasting relief. Furthermore, when anxiety symptoms become more manageable, you’re better able to learn and practice new coping strategies. ## Types of Anxiety Medication When you meet with a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner in Philadelphia about anxiety, they’ll discuss several medication categories. Each works differently and suits different situations: 1. **Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)** The first-line treatment for most anxiety disorders 2. **Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors [(SNRIs)](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/snris/art-20044970)** Similar to SSRIs with additional effects 3. **Beta Blockers** Helpful for physical anxiety symptoms ## SSRIs: The First-Line Anxiety Medication SSRIs are typically the first choice for treating anxiety disorders. Originally developed for depression, doctors discovered they work remarkably well for anxiety too. These medications help your brain use serotonin more effectively, which can reduce anxiety over time. Common SSRIs for anxiety include: - Lexapro (escitalopram) - Zoloft (sertraline) - Prozac (fluoxetine) - Paxil (paroxetine) Most importantly, SSRIs aren’t habit-forming and work well for various anxiety disorders. They do take time though—usually 4-6 weeks to feel the full effects. Some people notice their anxiety temporarily increases when starting, but this typically passes within the first week or two. ## SNRIs: Another Daily Option SNRIs work similarly to SSRIs but affect both serotonin and norepinephrine. For some people, this dual action provides better anxiety relief. Common SNRIs include: - Effexor (venlafaxine) - Cymbalta (duloxetine) - Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) Like SSRIs, these medications take several weeks to work fully. They’re particularly helpful if you have both anxiety and chronic pain, as they can address both conditions. However, some people find SNRIs more activating than SSRIs, so timing and dosage matter. ## Beta Blockers and Other Options Sometimes, anxiety shows up primarily as physical symptoms—racing heart, shaking hands, or sweating. Beta blockers like propranolol can help with these symptoms without affecting your mental state. They’re especially useful for performance anxiety or specific phobias. Additionally, other medications can help anxiety: - **Buspirone**: A unique anti-anxiety medication that’s not habit-forming - **Hydroxyzine**: An antihistamine that can calm anxiety quickly - **Gabapentin**: Sometimes used off-label for anxiety Each option has specific benefits and considerations. Your psychiatrist or psych NP can explain which might suit your particular situation. ## What to Expect When Starting Anxiety Medication Beginning anxiety medication requires patience and communication. Here’s what typically happens: **The First Few Weeks** You might feel some side effects before benefits. Common ones include nausea, headache, or temporary increased anxiety. Most side effects improve as your body adjusts. Meanwhile, keeping a symptom journal helps track changes. **Finding the Right Dose** Starting low and increasing gradually helps minimize side effects. Your psychiatrist will check in regularly during this period. Furthermore, everyone’s optimal dose differs, so comparison with others isn’t helpful. **Seeing Results** SSRIs and SNRIs typically take 4-6 weeks for full effects. However, some people notice subtle improvements earlier. Sleep often improves first, followed by physical symptoms, then mood and worry levels. **Ongoing Adjustments** Medication management isn’t “set it and forget it.” Regular check-ins allow for dose adjustments or medication changes if needed. Your experience guides these decisions. ## Common Concerns About Anxiety Medication Let’s address questions we hear frequently: **“Will I feel like a zombie?”** Proper anxiety medication shouldn’t make you feel numb or disconnected. If it does, that’s a sign to adjust your treatment. You should feel like yourself, just with less anxiety. **“What if it doesn’t work?”** Not everyone responds to the first medication tried. Fortunately, many options exist. Your psychiatrist can help you try different medications or combinations until you find what works. **“Can I stop when I feel better?”** Yes, but timing matters. Most people benefit from staying on medication for at least 6-12 months after feeling better. This helps prevent relapse. When you’re ready to stop, your psychiatrist will create a gradual tapering plan. **“Will anxiety medication help panic attacks?”** Yes, but in different ways. SSRIs/SNRIs reduce overall anxiety and panic frequency over time. Benzodiazepines can stop a panic attack quickly but aren’t ideal for long-term use. Many people use a combination approach. ## Combining Medication with Therapy While anxiety medication can provide significant relief, combining it with therapy often yields the best results. Medication can calm symptoms enough to engage fully in therapy, where you’ll learn lasting coping strategies. Effective therapy approaches for anxiety include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy for specific phobias, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and EMDR for trauma-related anxiety. At Therapy for Women, we coordinate medication management with our therapy services. This integrated approach means your providers communicate and work together toward your goals. ## Making an Informed Decision Deciding about anxiety medication is deeply personal. Some people find it life-changing, while others prefer therapy alone or natural approaches. Many use medication temporarily while building other coping skills. All these choices are valid. What matters is making an informed decision based on your symptom severity and how they impact daily life. Consider your previous treatment experiences, personal values and preferences, medical history and current health, and your life circumstances and support system. However, choosing to try medication doesn’t mean committing forever. You can always reassess and adjust your treatment plan. ## Our Approach to Anxiety Medication At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we believe in empowering you with choices. Our psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse practitioner will explain all treatment options thoroughly and discuss benefits and risks honestly. We respect your preferences completely and support whatever decision you make. Most importantly, we never pressure you toward medication. Learn more about our approach[ here. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/medication-management/) Our Philadelphia and Main Line team specializes in anxiety treatment for women, understanding how anxiety presents differently across life stages. We offer both medication management and therapy, always respecting your autonomy and timeline. Ready to explore your anxiety treatment options? [Contact us today to get starte](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)d. Together, we’ll find an approach that helps you feel more like yourself again—calm, capable, and in control of your choices. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, anxiety medication, depression, medication management, psych meds, Psych NP, Psychiatrist, psychiatry, trauma --- ### [Scrupulosity OCD: Break Free from Religious and Moral Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/01/scrupulosity-ocd-break-free-from-religious-and-moral-anxiety/) **Published:** July 1, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** Do you find yourself trapped in endless loops of moral doubt? Maybe you’re constantly worried that you’ve sinned, even when others reassure you that you haven’t. Or perhaps you spend hours analyzing whether your thoughts or actions were “good enough.” If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing scrupulosity OCD. ![woman with long brown hair in a pink sweater praying due to OCD Scrupulosity](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/side-view-woman-praying-home-683x1024.jpg) ## What Is Scrupulosity? [Scrupulosity ](https://iocdf.org/faith-ocd/what-is-ocd-scrupulosity/)is a form of [Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ") where intrusive thoughts center around moral or religious concerns. Unlike typical religious devotion or ethical consideration, scrupulosity creates excessive anxiety and interferes with daily life. Women experiencing this condition often feel isolated, believing they’re the only ones struggling with these intense moral worries. At Therapy for Women Center in South Jersey and Philadelphia, we understand how exhausting these thought patterns can be. Moreover, we recognize that scrupulosity affects women across all faith backgrounds—and even those without religious beliefs. ## Types of Scrupulosity: Moral and Religious ### Religious Scrupulosity Religious scrupulosity involves obsessive concerns about offending God, committing sins, or not being devout enough. You might find yourself: - Praying repeatedly because you fear you didn’t do it “correctly” - Avoiding religious services due to overwhelming anxiety - Constantly seeking reassurance from religious leaders - Feeling contaminated by “sinful” thoughts that pop into your head ### Moral Scrupulosity Meanwhile, moral scrupulosity focuses on being a “good person” according to ethical standards. This might manifest as: - Obsessing over whether you’ve lied, even about trivial matters - Excessive guilt about past mistakes - Constant worry about accidentally harming others - Analyzing every decision for its moral implications ## Recognizing Moral and Religious Scrupulosity Symptoms Understanding the symptoms helps you identify when normal concern crosses into OCD territory. Common signs include: **Intrusive Thoughts:** - Unwanted blasphemous or immoral thoughts - Fear of having committed unforgivable sins - Worry about accidentally breaking religious or moral rules - Doubt about your true intentions or character **Compulsive Behaviors:** - Excessive prayer or confession - Repeatedly seeking reassurance from others - Avoiding situations that trigger moral anxiety - Mental reviewing of past actions for “evidence” of wrongdoing **Physical and Emotional Impact:** - Difficulty sleeping due to moral worries - Avoiding relationships or activities you once enjoyed - Feeling constantly on edge or guilty - Physical tension from anxiety ## How Scrupulosity Affects Daily Life Living with scrupulosity means carrying an invisible burden. Simple decisions become moral dilemmas. Relationships begin to suffer when you’re constantly seeking reassurance or avoiding situations that trigger your fears. Many women describe feeling trapped between their values and their anxiety. They want to be good people or faithful believers, but OCD twists these positive desires into sources of torment. Subsequently, shame often prevents them from seeking help, especially when others don’t understand why prayer or positive thinking isn’t enough. ## Finding Hope Through Treatment The good news? Scrupulosity responds well to treatment, particularly [Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/23/exposure-and-response-prevention-therapy-a-powerful-tool-for-healing-ocd/). This evidence-based approach to OCD helps you gradually face your fears without engaging in compulsions. Through ERP, you learn that uncertainty is manageable and that your worst fears rarely materialize. Treatment isn’t about changing your values or beliefs. Instead, it’s about finding freedom from the anxiety that hijacks them. Women who complete treatment often report feeling more genuinely connected to their faith or values, since they’re no longer driven by fear. ## When Faith Is Changing: Support for Religious Deconstruction Sometimes, scrupulosity emerges during periods of religious deconstruction—when you’re questioning or reexamining your faith. This process can intensify moral anxiety as you navigate changing beliefs while OCD latches onto the uncertainty. You might also worry about disappointing family, losing community, or making the “wrong” spiritual choices. If you’re working on [religious deconstruction](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/?_specialty=faith-transitions) alongside scrupulosity, you need support that honors both journeys. Our therapists understand that questioning faith doesn’t mean abandoning values, and we provide a safe space to explore these changes without judgment. ## Taking the First Step If you recognize yourself in these descriptions, you’re not alone. Countless women struggle with scrupulosity, and many have found relief through proper treatment. Whether you’re dealing with traditional religious OCD or navigating faith transitions, we’re here to help. Our practice in Philadelphia and South Jersey provides compassionate therapy that respects your individual journey. We also offer online therapy [in 42 states](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/). Living with scrupulosity is exhausting, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. Professional help can guide you toward a life where your values enhance rather than torment you. Ready to break free from the cycle of moral and religious anxiety? Book an appointment with Therapy for Women in Philadelphia and South Jersey today. We specialize in helping women overcome OCD and reclaim their peace of mind. You deserve to live according to your values without the constant weight of anxiety. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** anxiety, ERP, Moral OCD, OCD, Scrupulosity --- ### [Why Relationship Anxiety Hijacks Your Brain—And How to Heal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/07/08/why-relationship-anxiety-hijacks-your-brain-and-how-to-heal/) **Published:** July 8, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Your heart races when they don’t text back quickly. You replay and ruminate over everything you say to them. And you analyze every word they say for hidden meanings. Sound familiar? For women with anxiety who are dating, relationship anxiety can feel overwhelming. But here’s the good news: understanding your attachment style can help you find peace. ## The Psychology Behind Relationship Anxiety First, let’s clarify something important. Relationship anxiety isn’t just overthinking. Instead, it’s based on how your brain handles connection and fear. When you start dating someone, your attachment system turns on. This affects how you see and internalize your partner’s behavior. Additionally, if you already have anxiety, your nervous system stays on high alert. Therefore, you might see threats that aren’t really there. Your brain treats possible rejection like actual danger. Subsequently, this triggers your fight-or-flight response. ## How to Understand Your Attachment Style Attachment theory shows us something fascinating. Specifically, our early relationships shape how we love as adults. In fact, about [40% of adults ](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-anxious-attachment)have attachment patterns that can cause dating anxiety. ### Anxious Attachment: The Anxiety Amplifier Do these behaviors sound like you? - You want closeness but fear being left - Maybe you need lots of reassurance - You panic when partners seem distant - You get attached very quickly Furthermore, this style often develops from childhood experiences. Perhaps your caregivers were sometimes there for you and sometimes not. Consequently, you learned that love requires constant attention. ![Man and woman hugging outside near a tree. Woman is struggling with reltationship anxiety and feels insecure. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/funny-male-female-enjoying-leisure-spending-togetherness-standing-outdoors-laughing-scaled.jpg) ### How Other Styles Interact with Anxiety Meanwhile, people with avoidant attachment have different fears. They worry about getting too close. On the other hand, those with disorganized attachment feel confused about relationships. Fortunately, secure attachment helps protect against anxiety. Moreover, research shows a clear pattern. Women with anxiety often develop anxious attachment. Thus, general anxiety and dating worries feed each other. ## The Neuroscience of Dating Anxiety When dating anxiety hits, your brain goes into overdrive. Here’s what happens: **The Amygdala:** First, your brain’s alarm system starts scanning for danger. Brain scans show this area lights up more in anxiously attached people. **The Anterior Cingulate Cortex:** Next, this part processes social pain. Surprisingly, it treats rejection just like physical pain. **The Prefrontal Cortex:** Finally, your thinking brain can shut down during anxiety. Therefore, it becomes hard to think clearly about your relationship. Additionally, anxious attachment affects your hormones. You produce less oxytocin (the love hormone). At the same time, you make more cortisol (the stress hormone). ## Breaking the Anxious Attachment Cycle Now for the hopeful part: you can change these patterns. Furthermore, understanding the science gives you power. Here’s how to start: ### Recognize Your Triggers First, notice what sets off your anxiety. Common triggers include: - Late text responses - Partners wanting alone time - Moving to new relationship stages - Changes in affection levels ### Practice Mindful Attachment When anxiety hits, pause before reacting. Then ask yourself: “Is this real or is my attachment system overreacting?” This simple question can help you stay grounded. ### Build Earned Security Here’s encouraging news: attachment styles can change. Each time you handle anxiety well, you rewire your brain. Gradually, you build more secure patterns. ### Communicate Your Needs Clearly Instead of hinting for reassurance, be direct. For example, say: “I’m feeling anxious and need some reassurance.” This approach works better than constantly asking if everything’s okay. ## Dating Strategies for Relationship Anxiety These practical tips can help you date with more confidence: **Date Slowly:** Give your attachment system time to adjust. Besides, rushing often makes anxiety worse. **Choose Secure Partners:** Research shows that secure partners can help heal anxious patterns. Therefore, pay attention to how potential partners handle emotions. **Keep Your Identity:** Continue seeing friends and pursuing hobbies. This way, you don’t rely only on romance for happiness. **Track Patterns:** Write about your dating experiences. Over time, you’ll spot anxiety patterns more easily. ## Therapy for Relationship Anxiety While self-help strategies are useful, deep patterns often need professional help. Moreover, therapy offers unique benefits: - Processing childhood experiences safely - Learning specific anxiety management tools - Building secure attachment skills Furthermore, working with a therapist who understands attachment can speed up healing. You deserve relationships free from constant worry. Ready to transform your dating life? [Book an appointment ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)with Therapy for Women in Philadelphia today. We help women throughout Philadelphia, The Main Line and South Jersey build secure, peaceful relationships. Together, we’ll help you move from anxious attachment to confident connection. **Categories:** Anxiety, Relationships **Tags:** anxiety, Anxious Attachment, couples counseling, dating, Dating Anxiety, Relationship Anxiety, relationships --- ### [Every Day Feels the Same? Powerful Ways to Break Free](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/05/when-every-day-feels-the-same-how-to-get-out-of-a-rut/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in an endless loop, where every day blends into the next? That feeling that “every day feels the same” is more common than you might think. For many people, this sense of monotony can be closely linked to depression. If you’re struggling with the feeling that each day is just a repeat of the last, you’re not alone. In this blog post, we will explore why this happens and, more importantly, how to get out of a rut when you feel this way. We’ll also discuss when this can signal depression and what you can do about it. ![A black woman at work struggling to get out of a rut.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/front-view-woman-working-as-economist-scaled.jpg) ## Why Every Day Feels the Same When every day feels the same, it’s often a sign that you’ve fallen into a rut. This can happen for various reasons: - Lack of novelty and stimulation in your daily routine - Decreased motivation and energy levels - Loss of passion or sense of purpose - Using rigid routines as a way to cope with stress or anxiety - Unfulfilled goals and dreams For some, this feeling of sameness is a symptom of [depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/depression-therapy/). Depression can drain your energy, dampen your enthusiasm, and make it difficult to find joy or meaning in daily activities. As a result, this can reinforce the cycle of monotony. ## Breaking Free: How To Get Out of a Rut If you’re tired of feeling like every day is the same, there are steps you can take to inject some variety and meaning back into your life: ### Create variety with small changes For example, start by making small, intentional changes to your daily routine. Take a different route to work, try a new coffee shop, or rearrange your workspace. These small shifts can help stimulate your brain and break the feeling of sameness. It can also help you see the same things in your life in a new way. Maybe you never noticed how cute that coffee shop is near your work, or how pretty the trees are in Autumn when you take a different route to the gym. If you work at home this tip is going to be even more important! ### Explore new activities and hobbies Push yourself out of your comfort zone by trying new activities or picking up a hobby. This could be anything from learning a musical instrument to taking up photography. New experiences can reignite your sense of curiosity and passion and work wonders for getting out of a rut. ### Connect with others Social connections play a crucial role in our mental health. Make an effort to reach out to friends, join a club, or volunteer in your community. Furthermore, meaningful interactions with others can provide fresh perspectives and emotional support. ### Practice mindfulness Being more present and mindful in your daily life can help you notice and appreciate the small differences in each day. Try incorporating mindfulness exercises or meditation into your routine. ### Set personal goals Having something to work towards can give your days more structure and purpose. Set [SMART](https://www.atlassian.com/blog/productivity/how-to-write-smart-goals#:~:text=The%20SMART%20in%20SMART%20goals,within%20a%20certain%20time%20frame.) goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) that align with your values and interests. ## When to Seek Professional Help Sometimes, persistent sameness signals deeper issues, especially if linked to depression. Watch for ongoing sadness, hopelessness, or lack of interest in former interests. These are signs to seek professional help. A mental health expert can provide support to break free from monotony. They can also address underlying [depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/depression "depression"). Also, they’ll help uncover childhood patterns, set emotional goals, and build resilience skills. Many people feel stuck in the monotony of daily life and wonder how to get out of a rut. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. Make intentional changes. Seek new experiences. Address mental health concerns. You can rediscover joy in your life. Whether it’s a temporary rut or persistent depression, change is possible. Take that first step to break the cycle. Your future self will thank you. **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** depressed, depression, get unstuck, stuck in a rut --- ### [Is Your Teen Addicted to Social Media? A Fresh Perspective From a Therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/10/is-your-teen-addicted-to-social-media-a-fresh-perspective-from-a-therapist/) **Published:** December 10, 2024 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** When parents first contact me about a teen addicted to social media, they often imagine their child endlessly scrolling in a dark room. This day and age, it is almost impossible to find a teenager without a smartphone. From texting their friends to accessing endless apps, many parents come to me worried that their teen is spending too much time on their phone and online. ![teen addicted to social media scrolling on phone](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/close-up-teenage-girl-denim-using-smart-phone-outdoors-1-scaled.jpg) I tend to take a rather controversial stance when parents fear their teen is addicted to social media. The data suggests it’s rare for kids to be legitimately addicted. While many articles and clickbait headlines may tell you otherwise, research shows that most teens do feel they can put down the phone when needed. However, it’s important to note, [research](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306460324000297) has shown that kids 13 or under can show more serious negative side effects to social media. ## There Are Positive Effects of Social Media On Teens Social media provides connection and community for teenagers. Sharing memes or TikToks are just another way for teens to have a conversation. With how online the world is, kids need to be “in the know” in order to engage in daily conversation. It gives them access to slang and trends that would otherwise leave them left out. It can also help foster creativity and a sense of self. They have the opportunity to be inspired by styles or genres they otherwise would not have access to. For LGBTQ+ teens, social media can be a lifeline in small towns to know that there are others out there like them. Before assuming your teen is addicted to social media, consider that most social media use isn’t harmful when used appropriately. However, it is important that we set boundaries with our kids about phone use. In my previous blog post, I discussed the importance of safety and mindfulness. [Click here to read it](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/11/the-importance-of-internet-safety-for-teens-a-how-to-guide-for-parents/). Once we have cemented those concepts, we can talk about how often our kids are using their phones. ## Setting Healthy Boundaries For Teens On Phones Lay the foundation of rules for screen time before kids even get a cell phone. Decide as a family what you want phone usage to look like and set some ground rules. *Are phones allowed at the dinner table? Can they keep their phones charging in their rooms?* Boundaries allow teens to have expectations on what is acceptable and what is not. Bring them into the conversation and ask their opinions. If we set the precedent that there are certain times during the day that are phone free, we can reinforce that technology is not an “all of the time” thing. As a parent, you have a right to make definitive statements about the rules in your home. Being strict about your teenager’s social media consumption won’t always protect them in the way we may think. Even if your own teen does not have a phone, this does not mean that they can’t access the internet in different ways. It makes sense to want to shield them from the dangers of things online. However, if you have continued open conversations with your kids they will be more likely to tell you about things they’ve seen. Keep lines of communication open, but don’t prod. If you create a safe space, your teens is more likely to come to you with questions before you have to ask them. Overall, as the parent, you make the rules, but remember it can be a collaborative process. While parents often worry about having a teen addicted to social media, resistance to rules makes sense. Remember to stand your ground, but also try not to make them wrong. It is developmentally normal for your child to want more freedom and independence as they grow. ## Key Takeaways About Teen Social Media Use: - Most teenagers aren’t truly addicted to social media - Social media provides important social connections - Set clear boundaries together as a family - Keep communication open and judgment-free - Focus on teaching responsible use rather than strict control If you want to learn more about helping your teen develop healthy social media habits, contact us today for guidance and support. --- Becca Adleberg, LPC is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women specializing in working with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, OCD, and body image. Learn more about her [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/) **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** boundaries for teens, social media, teens, therapy for teens --- ### [The Truth About Therapy Versus Coaching: Which One Do You Really Need?](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/13/coaching-vs-therapy-which-do-you-really-need/) **Published:** December 13, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Choosing between coaching vs therapy feels challenging for many people. As a licensed therapist, I want to help you understand why therapy often provides more comprehensive support, while still acknowledging when coaching might serve your needs. ![woman in therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/pexels-polina-tankilevitch-5234584-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Coaching vs Therapy: The Essential Differences The key difference between therapy versus coaching lies in the depth and breadth of support. Therapists complete extensive clinical training to help you understand root causes, manage complex emotions, and create lasting change. While coaches offer valuable guidance for specific goals, they cannot provide the comprehensive mental health support that therapy offers. ### The Unique Value of Therapy Therapy provides several advantages that coaching cannot match: - Licensed therapists can diagnose and treat mental health conditions - We help you understand deep-rooted patterns and behaviors - Therapy addresses multiple life areas simultaneously - Therapists adapt their approach as new challenges arise - We provide evidence-based treatment methods - Therapy creates lasting, transformative change ### When Coaching Might Work While therapy versus coaching often favors therapy for comprehensive support, coaching can help in specific situations: - Working toward a defined goal - Developing particular skills - Following structured plans - Addressing specific life areas - Getting accountability for clear objectives ## Training Differences in Therapy versus Coaching Licensed therapists undergo extensive professional preparation that coaches don’t require. We must earn advanced degrees in mental health, complete thousands of hours of supervised clinical work, and pass rigorous licensing exams. Our education doesn’t stop there – we maintain ongoing professional education and participate in regular clinical supervision throughout our careers. This comprehensive training enables us to provide deeper, more nuanced support than coaching can offer. This extensive training allows therapists to help with complex issues that coaches simply cannot address. While many coaches offer valuable expertise in their areas, they lack the comprehensive mental health training that makes therapy so effective. If you do choose coaching, be sure to find one that has undergone an [accredited coaching](https://www.forbes.com/health/wellness/best-life-coach-certification-programs/) course. ## Why Choose Therapy? **Consider therapy if you:** - Feel unsure about what’s troubling you - Have experienced trauma - Need help with multiple challenges - Want to understand yourself deeply - Seek lasting personal growth - Experience anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns - Want professional support that can adapt to your changing needs One often overlooked advantage: therapists can provide coaching-style support when appropriate, but coaches cannot offer therapy services. This means therapy gives you both depth and flexibility – we adjust our approach based on your evolving needs. ## Making Your Choice **While considering whether to start coaching or therapy, ask yourself:** - Do you want to address root causes or just symptoms? - Are your challenges complex or straightforward? - Do you need professional mental health support? - Would you benefit from a deeper understanding of yourself? ### Investment in Long-term Change Therapy might require a longer time commitment than coaching, but it creates deeper, more lasting transformation. Rather than just achieving specific goals, therapy helps you understand yourself better and develop lifelong tools for managing challenges. ## Taking the Next Step **Ready to explore therapy? Consider these actions:** 1. Write down your current challenges 2. Think about what you want to understand about yourself 3. Schedule consultations with licensed therapists 4. Ask about their approach and experience 5. Trust your instincts about who feels right Remember, while coaching serves its purpose, therapy offers comprehensive support that can transform your life in meaningful ways. Whether you’re dealing with specific challenges or seeking deeper understanding, therapy provides the professional support and guidance you need. Want to learn more about how therapy can help you? Contact our office to schedule a consultation with a therapist who can discuss your specific needs. We have offices in [Philadelphia,](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) [The Main Line](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) in Pennsylvania and have offices coming soon in St. Petersburg, Florida. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, burnout, coaching, depression, life coaching, Therapy Modalities --- ### [Important Things to Know About Sex Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/03/important-things-to-know-about-sex-therapy/) **Published:** January 3, 2025 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Sex is a fundamental aspect of human life, playing a significant role in our relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Despite its importance, many people find it challenging to discuss sexual matters openly and honestly. This difficulty in communication can stem from various factors, including cultural taboos, personal embarrassment, or a lack of accurate information about sexual health. If you relate to any of this, sex therapy may help you. Many individuals experience sexual problems or concerns at some point in their lives. These issues can range from physical difficulties like erectile dysfunction or pain during intercourse to psychological challenges such as low libido or performance anxiety. However, the sensitive nature of these topics often leads people to feel too shy, ashamed, or embarrassed to seek help. This reluctance to discuss sexual issues or seek assistance can have far-reaching consequences. It may lead to prolonged sexual dissatisfaction, relationship strain, or even untreated medical conditions. By fostering a more open and accepting attitude towards sexual health discussions, we can encourage people to seek the help they need and improve overall sexual well-being. ![white woman with blonde hair in sex therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/appointment-psychologist-scaled.jpg) ## What is Sex Therapy? Sex therapy is a special kind of talk therapy. It focuses on helping people with sexual concerns. Sexual concerns may have to do with body or mind issues, such as shame, body image, and emotional challenges, or they may be more specific. Here some issues sex therapy may help you work through: ### Breaking Down Shame Many people don’t learn much about sex growing up. This can lead to wrong ideas. Sex therapy gives you a safe place to learn the facts and explore your feelings about sex. For couples, sex therapy can really help you talk about sex. Many relationship problems come from not being able to talk about sex openly. This type of therapy can teach you how to have these talks, which can make your relationship stronger. ### Dealing with Body and Mind Issues Sex therapy doesn’t just look at physical problems. It also helps with emotional issues that affect your sex life. These could be stress, worry, sadness, or past bad experiences. Working on these can help you feel better about sex overall. Whether you’re young and just starting to explore sex, a new parent dealing with changes, or older and facing new challenges, this type of therapy can help. ### Working Through Sexual Concerns If you have specific sexual concerns, sex therapy can be a big help. Whether it’s trouble getting aroused, having an orgasm, or pain during sex, a sex therapist can help you understand why and find ways to make it better. It is also a safe place to explore questions about your sexual identity. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and support you in being true to yourself. ## Who Needs Sex Therapy? Sex therapy isn’t just for people with big sex problems. You might think about sex therapy if you: 1. Don’t feel like having sex much 2. Have trouble reaching orgasm 3. Can’t get or keep an erection 4. Feel pain during sex 5. Don’t like how your body looks 6. Had a bad sexual experience in the past 7. Want to understand your sexual identity better 8. Have trouble being close with your partner ## How Does Sex Therapy Work? With your sex therapist, you can chat about your sexual concerns, sex history and what you want to change. Then, they help you make a plan to reach your goals. **Sex therapy might include:** 1. Learning about how your body works 2. Practicing how to talk better with your partner 3. Learning to relax and focus on your body 4. Changing negative thoughts about sex 5. Trying new things at home between sessions 6. Resolving sexual trauma ## Sex and Your Overall Health It’s important to know that your sex life affects your overall health. Problems with sex can impact your mental health, how you feel about yourself, and your relationships. By working on these in therapy, you’re taking care of your whole self. ## Finding a Sex Therapist Sex therapy can help you have a better sex life. It teaches you, breaks down barriers, and deals with both body and mind issues. This can help you feel more confident and happy about sex. At Therapy for Women Center, we have a number of [therapists ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/)who specialize in sex therapy. We would be honored to help! **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** sex therapist, sex Therapy, sexual trauma, Therapy Modalities --- ### [The Truth About Impulsive vs. Intrusive Thoughts in OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/05/13/the-truth-about-impulsive-vs-intrusive-thoughts-in-ocd/) **Published:** May 13, 2025 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** Impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts represent an important distinction that many people with OCD struggle to understand. While intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing mental images or ideas that repeatedly enter your mind against your will, impulsive thoughts involve urges to act. [For those with OCD](https://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy), Intrusive thoughts can be particularly debilitating, creating intense anxiety and triggering compulsive behaviors designed to neutralize the perceived threat these thoughts represent. Want to learn more about OCD-related topics? Explore our resources on [Mental Compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/29/what-are-mental-compulsions-in-ocd-how-to-cope/) and [OCD Checking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/12/27/ocd-compulsions-what-are-they-and-how-to-cope/). ![woman journaling about impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts in OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/medium-shot-woman-writing-her-journal-1-scaled.jpg) ## What Are Intrusive Thoughts in OCD? Intrusive thoughts in OCD are persistent, unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that cause significant distress. Unlike fleeting weird thoughts that everyone experiences occasionally, OCD intrusive thoughts feel “sticky” and are often accompanied by intense shame, guilt, and fear. These thoughts typically contradict a person’s values and character, which is precisely why they cause such extreme anxiety. ### Common examples of intrusive thoughts in OCD include: - Fears of accidentally harming someone - Unwanted violent or aggressive images - Disturbing sexual thoughts - Fears of contracting illness or contamination - Religious or moral obsessions - Fears of losing control ## Impulsive vs. Intrusive Thoughts: The Critical Difference The distinction between impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts is essential for proper diagnosis and treatment. Impulsive thoughts involve an urge or desire to take action, often for pleasure or gratification. In contrast, intrusive thoughts in OCD are **ego-dystonic**, meaning they’re completely contrary to the person’s values and desires. With OCD, a person experiences intrusive thoughts as deeply distressing precisely because the content contradicts who they are. This creates a fundamental misunderstanding where sufferers worry, “If I’m having these thoughts, does it mean I secretly want to act on them?” The answer is emphatically no. In fact, the extreme anxiety these thoughts produce is strong evidence that they don’t represent your true desires. ## The Intrusive Thought Cycle in OCD Understanding the cycle of intrusive thoughts helps explain why they become so persistent. When an intrusive thought occurs, the person experiences intense anxiety. To reduce this anxiety, they engage in compulsions—either observable behaviors like checking and washing or mental rituals like counting or repeating phrases. While these compulsions temporarily relieve anxiety, they actually reinforce the cycle, making intrusive thoughts more likely to return. This cycle creates a feedback loop where: - Intrusive thought appears → Triggers anxiety - Person performs compulsion → Temporary relief - Brain learns “that thought is dangerous” → Increased vigilance - More intrusive thoughts appear → Cycle continues ![map of feedback loop intrusive thoughts for OCD creates](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screen-Shot-2025-05-08-at-11.53.15-AM.png) ## How Our Brains Process Impulsive vs. Intrusive Thoughts Our brains handle impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts quite differently. With impulsive thoughts, the brain’s reward system is activated, creating genuine desire. With intrusive thoughts in OCD, the brain’s threat detection system malfunctions, treating harmless thoughts as serious dangers. Neuroimaging studies show that people with OCD experience hyperactivity in the brain’s error detection system, particularly in the anterior cingulate cortex. This creates a feeling that something is “not right” and needs to be fixed through compulsive behaviors. Unlike impulsive thoughts, intrusive thoughts in OCD trigger the brain’s fear network rather than its reward centers. ## Treatment Approaches for Intrusive Thoughts in OCD At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we specialize in evidence-based treatments for OCD intrusive thoughts. The gold standard approach combines: - [Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/23/exposure-and-response-prevention-therapy-a-powerful-tool-for-healing-ocd/) : Gradually facing feared thoughts without performing compulsions - [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/) Challenging distorted beliefs about the meaning and importance of thoughts - [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/): Learning to accept intrusive thoughts without struggling against them Many clients find that understanding the difference between impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts is their first step toward recovery. By recognizing that intrusive thoughts don’t reflect their true desires or character, they can begin to reduce the fear these thoughts produce. ## Living with Intrusive Thoughts: Practical Strategies Beyond formal therapy, several practical strategies can help manage intrusive thoughts in daily life: - Recognize the thought as “just OCD” - Avoid seeking reassurance (which becomes a compulsion) - Practice mindfulness to create distance from thoughts - Reduce overall stress and anxiety through lifestyle changes - Join an OCD support group to reduce isolation The goal isn’t to eliminate intrusive thoughts—everyone has them—but to change your relationship with them. Many of our clients report that their intrusive thoughts become less frequent and less distressing once they stop treating them as significant threats. ## When to Seek Help If you’re struggling to differentiate between impulsive and intrusive thoughts, professional help is valuable. Consider seeking therapy if: - Thoughts cause significant distress or interfere with daily life - You spend more than an hour daily on obsessions or compulsions - You avoid certain situations to prevent triggering thoughts - Intrusive thoughts affect your relationships or work performance - You’ve developed rituals to neutralize thoughts Remember, having intrusive thoughts doesn’t make you dangerous or “bad.” In fact, research shows that people with OCD are actually less likely to act on their intrusive thoughts than the general population because these thoughts are so contrary to their true values. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we provide compassionate, non-judgmental support for women struggling with OCD and intrusive thoughts. Our therapists understand the nuanced difference between impulsive vs. intrusive thoughts and can help you develop effective strategies for managing them. Ready to learn more about how therapy can help with intrusive thoughts? Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our OCD specialist therapists. **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** ERP, exposure and response prevention, Intrusive Thoughts, mental compulsions, OCD, OCD checking, OCD compulsions --- ### [How to Deal if You Quit Your New Year's Resolution](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/01/24/how-to-deal-if-you-quit-your-new-years-resolution/) **Published:** January 24, 2025 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** January 1st, 2025. Time to start with the best of intentions. You sit down, craft a vision, and come up with new plans of a brand new routine. This is going to be your year for 5 am gym wake ups. Or maybe you’re going to completely cut out that afternoon soda break. Whatever it is you feel confident and know that this is the year you are going to stick to it. Now it’s January 25th and you quit your New Year’s resolution. You can barely remember what you were trying to achieve. Now what? ![woman holding a sign that says happy new year. People will ask "did you quit your new year's resolution?" ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/girl-holding-happy-new-year-sign-scaled.jpg) ## It’s Common to Quit Your New Year’s Resolution If this at all feels familiar, know that you are not alone. Studies have shown a staggering 88% of people stop their New Year’s resolutions within the [first two weeks](https://www.bcm.edu/news/new-years-resolutions-why-do-we-give-up-on-them-so-quickly)! Letting go of a goal can feel like failure, but it doesn’t have to. Take this as a time to foster self love to maintain the intention you had with your resolution. Let’s instead make self love the resolution. I always say to clients; “Let’s set intentions, not resolutions.” Resolutions always seem to become these restrictive and overly ambitious practices. How in the world are we gonna wake up at 5 am for the gym if we’ve been smashing the snooze until 8am most days? It makes sense if you quit your New Year’s Resolution. Distill down the idea into what the intention was. What made you choose your resolution? Shift the focus to what you’ve learned from trying your new plan. ## Practice Self Compassion Before we take that and start to think about a whole new resolution to try, offer yourself kindness for trying something new in the first place. All too often we motivate ourselves from a place of self hatred. Saying we “have” to work out for a better body rather than because we want to prioritize movement. Or that we need to “be more productive” because we are comparing ourselves to others’ vastly different lives. Intentions should be led from generating new ways to love ourselves. This may sound a bit “live, laugh, love” but it’s the truth. When you practice kindness, you cultivate a pragmatic relationship with yourself. The more you see your strengths the less you will be bogged down by self-criticism. When you prioritize your own needs you’re better equipped to handle stress and adversity. This makes it less likely you will quit your New Year’s resolution next year. ## Create an Intention Now that we have taken a moment to be kind, we can refocus the intention. Let’s follow the 5am gym example. You wanted to get in more movement because your therapist keeps telling you it “helps your mental health”. Say you woke up 3 times to do it and felt good about your goal. But then you noticed how much more tired you were during the day. Then, you noticed how your movement didn’t even feel good because you were so tired being there. Then you get grumpy in the middle of the work day and can’t concentrate. You liked getting movement in, but not how exhausted you were. From this we learn two things. You’re not a morning person but you do like movement. Great! Let’s take this and formulate a new intention. “I will prioritize movement.” ## Find the Lesson If You Quit Your New Year’s Resolution You may say; “But that’s so vague?” That’s the point! We aren’t setting a goal, we are setting an idea of what we want to lead with. By changing from 5 am gym sessions to prioritizing movement, we open up a whole new world of possibilities for how to bring this into our every day. If we find that certain things don’t fit into our plan, we can adapt. Most importantly, we can be kind to ourselves when we feel we aren’t leading with intention. It can help get us back on track and acknowledge that every day does not need to be a shining success. If you quit your New Year’s resolution, is not the end. Instead, it’s an opportunity to pause and show yourself kindness. Reframe your resolution into an intention to offer yourself kindness, and then you can move forward. Remember, every day is a new chance to start again. Live, laugh, love yourself. If you are looking for support with how to implement real change into your life, reach out to one of our therapists who can help! --- [Becca Adleberg, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/) is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women works with teens, young women and members of the LGBTQ+ community. She specializes in OCD, anxiety, depression and body image. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** New Year's Resolutions, self care --- ### [EMDR for Anxiety: A Powerful Treatment Beyond Trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/05/08/emdr-for-anxiety-a-powerful-treatment-beyond-trauma/) **Published:** May 8, 2025 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** When most people learn about [Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr-therapy/) for anxiety, they often don’t realize its full potential beyond trauma treatment. EMDR for anxiety is a structured therapy that helps the brain process disturbing memories and beliefs that fuel anxiety symptoms. While it’s well-known for treating PTSD, EMDR works equally well for many types of anxiety disorders, even when trauma isn’t the primary concern! Curious about other EMDR applications? Explore our resources on EMDR for PTSD, and [Brainspotting vs EMDR.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/02/05/brainspotting-vs-emdr-therapy/) ## Does EMDR Really Work for Anxiety? Absolutely! EMDR for anxiety is supported by growing clinical evidence. The same mechanisms that make EMDR effective for trauma also work for anxiety because many anxiety patterns are rooted in distressing memories and negative beliefs about ourselves. EMDR therapy helps reprogram these responses by directly addressing how anxiety is stored in your nervous system. ![Therapist teaching a client about how EMDR for anxiety works ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/TFWC_MiscGroup-81-scaled.jpg) ## How EMDR for Anxiety Works With Your Nervous System Anxiety is a normal human emotion that we all experience from time to time. Our nervous system decides in times of stress or fear if it needs to use our fight or flight response. It works like a light switch – when we need it, it turns on. However, when we have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, the light switch stays on. Our body perceives many more things as implicit threats, even if it’s just a text message that says “free for a call?” There are many roots to anxiety, with it often stemming from core beliefs—deeply held thoughts and feelings about ourselves. [EMDR for anxiety](https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/emdr-anxiety/) specifically targets the patterns of anxiety tracing back to your core belief. For example, if your brain always tells you that “I’m not good enough,” a simple text asking to chat can lead your anxious brain spiraling to the worst. Since EMDR works directly on the nervous system, it is already in prime position to help with anxiety disorders. ## The Anxiety Tree: Why EMDR for Anxiety Reaches the Roots Let’s think about anxiety like a tree. I often tell my clients that anxious thoughts are the dead leaves hanging off the branches. We can pluck them, but until we get down to what is in the soil, we will always continue to grow dead leaves. Our soil consists of our core beliefs – experiences from our lives, both good and bad, that lead us to believe certain things about ourselves. The roots of the tree remain complex, but we know that anxiety starts from these early experiences. Cognitive therapy helps to pull off the leaves, while EMDR for anxiety helps us address the rot in the roots. ## EMDR for Anxiety vs. Traditional Talk Therapy Approaches EMDR allows us to bring up insight and put our intellect in the backseat. Too often we find our anxiety caught up in the “I know better” trap. Knowing and feeling are two different things. If you feel like you intellectualize your anxiety, like you know where it comes from but you can’t connect to the feelings, EMDR for anxiety is a great next step. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (typically eye movements, taps, or tones) to help process distressing memories and beliefs that fuel anxiety. This approach activates both hemispheres of the brain, allowing for deeper processing and integration of emotional material that might be difficult to access through talking alone. ## What Does the EMDR for Anxiety Process Look Like? ### The EMDR process for anxiety typically involves: - Identifying triggering situations that spark your anxiety - Connecting these triggers to underlying negative beliefs about yourself - Processing these beliefs through bilateral stimulation - Installing more adaptive, positive beliefs Many clients receiving EMDR for anxiety report feeling relief after just a few sessions, though the number needed varies based on individual circumstances and the complexity of your anxiety patterns. ## Real Results: What Our Clients Experience At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we’ve seen remarkable transformations in our clients using EMDR for anxiety. Many report not only a reduction in anxious thoughts but also physical sensations of anxiety. Clients often notice they’re no longer experiencing racing hearts, tight chests, or churning stomachs in previously triggering situations. Furthermore, EMDR for anxiety can help break the cycle of anticipatory anxiety – that terrible feeling of dreading something before it happens. By processing the underlying fears, many clients find they can approach challenging situations with a newfound sense of calm and confidence. ## Is EMDR for Anxiety Right for You? ### EMDR might be particularly helpful if: - You’ve tried traditional talk therapy but still struggle with anxiety - Your anxiety feels deeply rooted or connected to past experiences - You notice similar anxiety patterns repeating throughout your life - Physical symptoms accompany your anxiety - You intellectualize your feelings rather than experiencing them Remember, anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. With approaches like EMDR for anxiety, we can work together to address not just the symptoms but the root causes of your anxiety. At Therapy for Women in Philadelphia, we specialize in helping women find freedom from anxiety through evidence-based approaches like EMDR. In person offices - [Center City/ Logan Square, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) - [Old City, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) - [Bala Cynwyd (Main Line), Pennsylvania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) - [Collingswood, New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/collingswood-new-jersey/) Ready to learn more about how EMDR for anxiety might help you? Contact us today to get started with an EMDR therapist at our practice! **Categories:** Anxiety, Trauma **Tags:** anxiety, anxious, depression, EMDR, EMDR for anxiety, EMDR therapy, PTSD, trauma --- ### [The Pain of Growing Up LGBTQ+: How to Heal Childhood Trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/27/the-pain-of-growing-up-lgbtq-how-to-heal-childhood-trauma/) **Published:** August 27, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Growing up LGBTQ+ can be really hard. The judgment, hate, and confusion about different sexual orientations and gender identities can hurt a lot. These painful times, if not dealt with, often lead to problems as an adult. Problems like anxiety, depression, drug abuse, and wanting to end your life. It’s important to talk about the trauma of growing up LGBTQ+ and ways to heal. ![Member of the LGBTQ community flying pride flag in Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/young-people-celebrating-pride-month-1-683x1024.jpg) ## What LGBTQ+ Childhood Trauma Looks Like Trauma shows up in many ways for LGBTQ+ kids. Some deal with bullying, being beat up, or even attacked by classmates, teachers, or family members because of who they love or how they express their gender. Others face put-downs, being ignored, or told they’re wrong about their feelings. Even LGBTQ+ kids who don’t face direct harm still deal with the [stress of hiding who they are](https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/closet-psychological-issues-being-and-coming-out). They may not have examples of people like them or support. Without the safety to figure themselves out, they may have a hard time knowing and loving who they are. ## Signs That Growing Up LGBTQ+ Trauma Is Still Affecting You Every LGBTQ+ person has their own journey, but here are some common signs that childhood trauma is affecting you: - Shame or hate towards your LGBTQ+ identity - Feeling like a fake or not “enough” in LGBTQ+ spaces - Always doubting or not liking yourself - Trying to be perfect to make up for feeling not good enough - People-pleasing and trouble saying no - Finding it hard to trust and be real in relationships - Feeling apart from your body and struggling to enjoy things - Using drugs, food, work, or sex to avoid hard feelings - Thoughts of suicide or self-harm when shame comes up If you relate to any of this, know that you can get help and heal. You’re not alone. ## How LGBTQ Therapy Helps In the past few years, more and more therapists are offering support just for LGBTQ+ people. LGBTQ therapy gives a safe space to work through the stress, trauma, and pain that comes with being LGBTQ+. In therapy, you can: - Get to know and love all parts of who you are - Work through painful times, shame, and negative messages - Learn to be kind and accepting of yourself and your body - Grieve what you’ve lost and rewrite your story with strength - Build skills to talk to others, set boundaries, and have healthy relationships - Get help with coming out, transitioning, or being an LGBTQ+ parent - Make a life that fits your values and lets you be your true self Having a therapist who really gets what it’s like to be LGBTQ+ can make all the difference. Look for someone who doesn’t just say they’re LGBTQ-friendly but knows a lot about LGBTQ+ issues and is LGBTQ+ themselves if possible. We are proud that all of our LGBTQ+ providers are members of the community and know the experience first hand. [Learn more here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/lgbtq/) ## Your Story Matters If you’re hurting from growing up LGBTQ+, your pain is real and it matters. It’s not your fault. You’re not broken or alone. No matter where you are in your healing, know that things can get better. With time, help, and being kind to yourself, you can turn your pain into power. You can take back your story and live fully as the amazing, strong LGBTQ+ person you’ve always been. If you’re ready for support, think about reaching out to an LGBTQ+ therapist. You deserve to be celebrated and loved for exactly who you are. Healing may feel long and scary. But it’s a journey worth taking. On the other side is real self-love, pride in who you are, and the joy you’ve always deserved. **Categories:** LGBTQ+, Trauma **Tags:** childhood trauma, trauma --- ### [Unlock Freedom and Heal Your Childhood Trauma With Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/26/unlock-freedom-and-heal-your-childhood-trauma-with-therapy/) **Published:** August 26, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Childhood trauma can have a big impact on adult life. It can affect mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Many people who go through tough things as kids struggle as adults. They may have a hard time feeling happy or connecting with others. But there is hope. Trauma therapy can help adult survivors of childhood trauma work through their experiences and learn new coping skills. ![woman sitting on a couch in therapy for childhood trauma ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/full-shot-young-woman-undergoing-therapy-683x1024.jpg) ## What is Childhood Trauma? Childhood trauma can include many things, such as: - Physical abuse: This is when an adult hurts a child’s body on purpose. - Sexual abuse: This is when an adult touches a child in a sexual way or makes them do sexual things. - Emotional abuse: This is when an adult says or does things that make a child feel bad about themselves. - Neglect: This is when an adult doesn’t give a child the care and attention they need to be healthy and safe. - Seeing violence at home: This is when a child sees adults in their home hurt each other, like hitting or yelling. These experiences can have long-term effects. They can change how a child’s brain develops and how they learn to deal with stress. As adults, they may struggle with: - Mental health problems: Depression, anxiety, or PTSD are common in people who have been through childhood trauma. - Trouble trusting others: It can be hard to feel safe with people or to believe that they won’t hurt you. - Health problems: Childhood trauma can lead to health issues like heart problems, or chronic pain. - Low self-esteem: Survivors may feel like they are not good enough or that something is wrong with them. - Intense emotions: It can be hard to deal with strong feelings like anger, fear, or sadness. ## How Trauma Therapy Helps Trauma therapy is a special type of therapy. It focuses on the needs of people who have been through hard things. In trauma therapy, adult survivors can: - Talk about their experiences in a safe space. A therapist will listen without judging and help you make sense of what happened. - Learn healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions. You can learn things like deep breathing, meditation, or art to help you feel better. - Change negative beliefs about themselves. A therapist can help you see that what happened wasn’t your fault and that you are strong for getting through it. - Build healthy relationships. You can learn how to trust people, set boundaries, and communicate your needs. - Become more resilient. This means getting better at dealing with hard things and bouncing back after setbacks. ## Types of Trauma Therapy There are different types of trauma therapy. Some common ones are: - Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps you change negative thoughts and behaviors related to trauma. You might learn to challenge thoughts like “I am broken” or “It was my fault.” - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): This therapy uses eye movements or tapping to help your brain process trauma memories. It can make them feel less scary or overwhelming. - [Somatic Therapy](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951#:~:text=A%20somatic%20therapist%20helps%20people,but%20aren't%20household%20terms.): These focus on the mind-body connection. They help you notice and release tension or feelings that are stuck in your body due to trauma. Your therapist may use one or more of these types of therapy. They will work with you to find the best approach for your needs. ## Finding the Right Therapist for Childhood Trauma Looking for a therapist can feel overwhelming. It’s important to find someone who has experience working with childhood trauma survivors. Here are some things to look for: - Special training in trauma therapy. Ask if they have done extra training in treating trauma. - A safe, non-judgmental space. You should feel comfortable talking to them and not worry about being blamed or shamed. - Respect for your boundaries. A good therapist will go at your pace and not push you to talk about things before you are ready. - Help you feel contained. They will help teach you coping skills so you leave sessions without feeling too triggered or like you cannot go on with your day. You might need to talk to a few different therapists before you find the right fit. That’s okay. It’s important that you feel good about the person you’ll be sharing your story with. ## The Healing Journey Healing from childhood trauma is a journey. It takes time, and there may be ups and downs along the way. Be patient and kind to yourself. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s normal. Remember that you are not alone. Many people have been where you are and have found healing through therapy. If you’re struggling with the effects of childhood trauma, know that help is available. At Therapy for Women Center, we have a number of trauma experts at our practice who would be honored to work with you. [Click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma) to learn more about our approach and see if we would be a good fit. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** childhood trauma, EMDR, PTSD, somatic therapy --- ### [How to Cope with COVID-19 if you Struggle with OCD and Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/04/16/how-to-cope-with-covid-19-if-you-struggle-with-ocd-and-anxiety/) **Published:** April 16, 2020 **Author:** Gabby Salomone, LCSW **Content:** If you have OCD and are struggling with the news, keep reading! Gabby is our in-house expert on OCD, eating disorders, anxiety, and more. She knows all too well that anxiety can be intrusive and at times, it can feel like it’s taking over– especially when it’s anxiety in regard to a global pandemic. Gabby put together some quick tips to keep your anxiety manageable, and day (hopefully) a little less stressful. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/pexels-polina-zimmerman-3958420-683x1024.jpg) By now I am **sure** you are feeling burnt out hearing and reading about Covid-19. So I am going to try and keep this simple. In treatment, I honestly believe *less is more*. I like to keep things simple and I try to not over complicate things when teaching skills on how to cope and work through the anxieties of day to day life. **Right now we all need to give ourselves some compassion and space, to feel all of what we are feeling.** If you are feeling a little (or a lot) panicked right now that’s okay because there is **a lot** of uncertainty in the world. Remember this is the first time *any* of us are going through this. ## How To Cope With Covid Anxiety and OCD ### Try to limit news to 10 minutes a day. If that feels too hard, try 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening. You do not need to know or be the expert on everything about Covid-19 (!), what the government is doing or not doing, or how many more people have gotten it. Ten minutes per day should be enough time to get you all of the information you need to keep yourself and your loved ones safe *and* informed. **The more news you consume, the more you feed your anxiety** and this **fuels** you to check/google/seek reassurance more and more! This strengthens your OCD. ### Practice Mindfulness to Combat OCD Mindfulness is about paying attention on purpose, with purpose, in the present moment and without judgement of our emotions or our thoughts. Practicing for a few minutes each day can help ground you. Take a few deep breaths in and out, feel the flow of the breath, how it expands your chest and stomach and then push it all out, release and notice the sensations you feel. Go outside, notice what you see, hear, physically feel, and smell. **Tune into what’s around you and let your thoughts come and go**, *don’t judge them* and *don’t engage with them*, just let them BE! ### Follow A Daily Routine Whether you are working or not right now, set yourself up with a daily schedule to follow. Eat 3 meals and enough snacks each day. Make sure you drink some water, we can’t survive on only coffee, and alcohol. Make sure you are getting up and going to bed around the same time each day. Flannel after 3 days smells like failure! **Take a shower, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, make a list of what you want to do that day.** If you don’t have anything pressing that needs to be done, think about projects that you have been putting off! Or something you have been wanting to try or saying that you don’t have time for, *set a time in your schedule and DO IT!* ### Worrying Fuels OCD Try to not engage in the worry thoughts, *worrying doesn’t actually solve the problem at hand.* It only fuels your OCD. If it is too hard to not engage with the worry thoughts, try postponing your worry. Conversely, set a specific time each day to worry. When you notice that you are worrying write it down. Then, when your worry time comes, go through your list and see if you are still worried about it. Only focus on the worries that are still bothering you. Spend about 30 minutes problem solving your worries for the day. ### **Allow Space to Grieve** Grieve the loss of things that have been cancelled. Allow space to be sad for things that aren’t happening right now, the things that you have been looking forward to. I’m not saying that those things will never happen again, what I am saying is that right now they are paused and I have zero clue when we can reschedule them for. ### Reframe Your Perspective Try reframing/reappraising your thoughts around what is going on. ***Remember, this is not personal***. List out the facts that you have and the facts that you don’t have. With everything going on in the world remember what you **can** control and what you **can’t** control. Lots of things are out of our control and the more we try to control them the more we feel out of control. Remember the only thing you have control over is your behaviors. **You don’t have control over your thoughts or your emotions.** Remember, you only have control over the behaviors that you do when you have those unwanted thoughts or unwanted emotions. You can not control others, you can only control how you respond to those around you! For more support with OCD, reach out to [book an appointment ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)or [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) with questions! **Categories:** Anxiety, OCD **Tags:** anxiety, current events, OCD --- ### [Why We Love Virtual Therapy And Who Can Benefit](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/03/19/is-teletherapy-right-for-me/) **Published:** March 19, 2020 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![Women doing virtual therapy session at Therapy for Women Center](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/243_Amanda_TFW_Branding_Oct_4_2019_CeliaR_EDIT_0638-683x1024.jpg) Originally utilized by the military, virtual therapy, is an online mental health counseling system that allows people to get therapy from anywhere. With more HIPAA compliant technology than ever, teletherapy is becoming more important than ever. Many insurances do not allow teletherapy. However, because our practice is out-of-network with insurances, anyone can engage in teletherapy! ## Am I a candidate for virtual therapy? Anyone with a working computer or smart phone that includes a webcam and has privacy is able to join for a teletherapy session. Recent studies show a higher rate of ‘burnout’ in the workplace where stress is easily mismanaged. Because many people are concerned with the number of hours they spend in their office, they oftentimes find themselves rushing to get home after a long tiring day. Millenials currently comprise the majority of the U.S workforce. They often state that the concept of separation between work and free time doesn’t exist. If you feel that way, perhaps teletherapy is a good choice for you. Some teletherapists are able to take health insurance, while others are private pay. The biggest issue with health insurance supporting the session is that some don’t cover teletherapy, but do cover face to face. One thing most people don’t know is that when you see a therapist through your health insurance, that therapist is required to supply a diagnosis. Some people are hesitant with being ‘marked’ as something, so they oftentimes prefer to see a therapist through private pay. ## Differences between Virtual Therapy and In Person A recent survey of insured adults throughout the U.S. found that millennials were far more likely to express interest in telemedicine compared to prior generations. For example, let’s say you live in an extremely remote location in the state of Pennsylvania, what are your chances of finding a therapist that meets your needs? Probably not so great. Teletherapy allows therapists to reach individuals living all over their state. Teletherapy may not be an “alternative” to a traditional face-to-face care, but it is definitely effective and has many pros. It ensures comfortability. It allows people to sit in the comfort of their own home or office, while communicating via a mobile device or computer. Another awesome advantage to teletherapy is giving your kids the option of being able to see someone without them needing a ride. I have been able to see adolescents through teletherapy, which has led parents to express how comfortable and easy it is for their child. This also gives the kid autonomy to plan their own schedule and meet up with the therapist whenever they need. ## What if I am uncomfortable on the phone? We get it, some of us get phone anxiety. Often we see this comes from trying to make sure there are no pauses or awkward silences. Or sometimes clients feel like they need to make sure their therapist feels okay. Try to remember, its your therapist’s job to create a comfortable environment. If you feel nervous or hesitant, let’s talk about it! Often talking about these concerns completely reduces the awkwardness and makes it easy to create conversation. Like anything else, it may take a time or two for you to get comfortable with it. But most of our clients report that when they get in the groove, they sometimes forget we aren’t in person. If you don’t like eye contact, you don’t have to look us in the eye. If you don’t like seeing your face, feel free to put a post-it-note over yourself. There are lots of ways to make this option work for you! ## What is Teletherapy like at Therapy for Women? Before our session begins, we will have you fill out some paperwork so your therapist can learn a bit more about you prior to us meeting via the web. The paperwork will ask you some basic demographic questions like your first name, last name, birth date, age, occupation/school. Then it will also ask you some more personal questions too. Once we meet, we typically go over all the paperwork you’ve completed and let you ask any questions you may have on it. During this time, we explain to you that anything you say here stays here unless we feel you may harm yourself or others. After that, we ask you to tell us about **YOU**. Your hobbies, family members, significant others (if relevant), occupation/school, support systems, and anything else you feel would be important for us to know about you. Once we go over all of that, and we may find ourselves to be all over the place (which is extremely normal), I typically set aside the last 15 minutes of the session for you to tell me what brought you into therapy and what some of your goals are. ## Concluding Thoughts Therapy is not linear. ***Therapy is like a roller coaster with high highs and low lows, and also some looptyloops added in there***. You may leave a session feeling relieved and ready to conquer the world. Or you may leave confused and unsure of what your next step is. We cannot stress this enough. Tat is completely normal!! You are a human being living on earth, and with that comes a ton of uncertainty. Virtual therapy may not be right for everyone, but we are sure grateful to have the option. If you move, can’t make it into the office, teletherapy is an awesome alternative to coming into the office. To learn more if its right for you[ contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact), or [book your appointment](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) today. **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Our Practice, virtual therapy --- ### [The #1 Mistake That's Harming Your Relationship](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2018/02/28/the-1-mistake-thats-harming-your-relationships/) **Published:** February 28, 2018 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![A couple fighting sitting on a kitchen floor](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721433765938-1024x1024.jpg) Whether we are talking about relationships with friends, parents or significant others, there is a disturbing communication trend I’ve been seeing in my office and in the world lately. I call it…**.”taking away people’s pain”.**  If you or someone you know struggles with this, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy or DBT may be helpful for you. This trend typically starts when we are young. Our parents unknowingly interact with us this way. We learn to be afraid of our feelings and pain from a young age. For example, the most common responses to a child when they scrape their knee or fall on the playground are “Shhhh, you’re okay, don’t cry.” Although the parent has the best motives and is simply trying to calm the child down and assure her, the subliminal message is **don’t express your emotions.** This often stems from a parent that is uncomfortable with a child’s emotions or even may fear them. Society also reinforces this idea that emotions are bad or something to be avoided. We praise people for “being strong” when going through hardships. We are a culture obsessed with positivity and looking at the bright side. Feeling sad is looked at as self-indulgent. ## People Avoid Their Emotions Out of Discomfort I see this all the time in my office. Not only in sessions with families and couples, where people are so uncomfortable with other people’s pain, they switch subjects, offer solutions or shift uncomfortably in their seats but also in individual therapy. Women on my couch are ashamed or even scared of their own emotions. Somewhere along the way, our society has begun to teach people **that emotions and tears are shameful**. What’s the result? We disconnect from our emotions, hide from them or engage in other activities to avoid. This can lead to substance use disorders or eating disorders. In addition, we experience reactions to our reactions, such as being angry or disgusted by our emotions. ## Primary and Secondary Emotions Secondary emotions are our reaction to our emotions. They are emotional responses we have to our emotions.  Primary emotions are our primal reaction to an event or situation. There are 8 primary emotions: Anger, Sadness, Fear, Joy, Interest, Surprise, Disgust and Shame. These are hardwired into our brain upon birth. These emotions cause your body to react in a certain way and for you to feel a certain urge upon feeling this emotion. All other emotions are secondary emotions, and they are created out our own emotional response to a primary emotion. Unsurprisingly, most people’s problems and issues they come to discuss in counseling are not primary emotions. They are secondary emotions. This is something we discuss in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, also known as DBT. DBT is a type of therapy that teaches you how to tolerate all your emotions. For example, a woman comes to my office and is angry at herself about how sad she is about her boyfriend cheating on her. We cannot process the pain of her boyfriend’s betrayal until we process and release her own anger at herself. ​Since many people are unable to be present with their own emotions and often suppress them, it’s not surprise that people are equally intolerable of other people’s emotions. This leads us to **“take away other people’s pain**“. It is one of the most costly things you can do in any relationship. It does not matter whether it is with your child, your partner or yourself. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy can help you resist this urge to avoid your emotions or other people’s emotions and instead learn to accept and tolerate the discomfort. ### **If you are not sure if this applies to you, some common examples of avoiding your or other people’s emotions are…** - Giving people solutions to their problems rather than sitting and listening - Immediately upon seeing someone tear up/ become emotional, hug them, shush them, tell them “don’t cry”, or try to calm them down - Walk away or refuse to engage with someone who is crying or being “too emotional” - Telling someone to excuse themselves if they have an emotional reaction - Shaming yourself for having an emotional reaction, forbidding yourself from crying or feeling your emotions - Telling someone how they should feel in a given situation, or trying to help them “be positive” or “see the silver lining” in a situation All these are signs that we struggle to tolerate our own or another person’s emotions, which means we could benefit from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. In this type of therapy we learn how to “urge surf” our emotions. We learn how to get better at sitting with and processing our emotions instead of reacting to them. In closing, emotions are normal, natural responses in human beings and it is important to treat them as such. **The more we try to hide from our emotions, the more emotionally unhealthy we will feel.** Furthermore, it is then more difficult it will be to support others in our life**.** It’s time we stop shaming ourselves for our natural human experience. To be human is to have the capacity to feel emotions. ## If this is something you are struggling with, we can help! If you would like more support, be sure to [reach out](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) to us to learn more or [schedule a session](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) with one of our therapists who specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** couples counseling, DBT, Gottman Therapy, relationship issues --- ### [Your Ultimate Guide to Teen Therapy After Divorce](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2025/03/11/your-ultimate-guide-to-teen-therapy-after-divorce/) **Published:** March 11, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Teen therapy for divorce can be a lifeline when your child. At Therapy for Women, we’ve guided countless teens (of all genders!) through divorce. While you’re juggling the practical parts of separation, investing in therapy for your teen can provide the emotional support they desperately need right now. Our experienced therapists understand exactly how divorce impacts adolescents and can help your teenager find solid ground again. ![Teenage girl sitting on a couch looking away from her therapist in teen therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/side-view-young-girl-talking-therapist-scaled.jpg) ## Understanding Their Emotional Journey Remember the rollercoaster of being a teenager? Now add divorce to that mix. When teens come to our office, they often don’t know how to name what they’re feeling. They respond to divorce differently than younger children. Many times, they feel many conflicting emotions that they don’t necessarily feel comfortable unpacking at home. Here common things we observe in therapy with our teens: - They are putting on a brave face at school while their grades are slipping, hiding their struggle to focus when their mind keeps drifting to worries about home - Lashing out at parents or siblings, then feeling guilty about it later – a cycle that just keeps spinning - Pulling away from friends because it feels impossible to explain what’s happening at home - Trying to be the family “fixer,” shouldering adult worries that aren’t theirs to carry ## Benefits of Teen Therapy During Divorce In our offices in Philadelphia, New Jersey and on the Main Line, we specialize in providing therapy for teens facing family transitions. For parents, we also recommend reading the book, [The Emotional Lives of Teenagers](https://drlisadamour.com/books/the-emotional-lives-of-teenagers/), as a resource. We create a safe, neutral space for teenagers to process their emotions about divorce. Our specialized divorce therapy for teens provides several key benefits: - Find their voice and learn how to tell both parents what they need, without feeling caught in the middle - Develop real-world ways to handle overwhelming emotions (that don’t involve slamming doors) - Keep their own life on track – because being a teenager doesn’t stop just because parents are separating - Process what’s happening with someone who isn’t taking sides ## Recognizing When Your Teen Needs Therapy Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between normal teen moods and signs they need counseling for divorce. Keep an eye out for: - Changes in their sleep or eating that last more than a few weeks - Making concerning comments about the future or expressing hopelessness - Acting out in ways that seem totally out of character - Withdrawing from activities or friends they used to love ## Getting Started with Teen Therapy Our practice makes beginning therapy as comfortable as possible. We’ll start with a laid-back conversation to understand what’s going on and create a plan that actually makes sense for your teen’s life and schedule. Getting them extra support is not as a sign that your teenager can’t cope, but it is giving them an extra tool in their toolkit during one of life’s toughest transitions. We’re here to help them build the resilience they need to weather this storm – and come out stronger on the other side. Want to learn more about how our[ teen therapy services](http://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapy-for-teens) can help your family navigate this chapter? Get in touch with us. We’re here to support both you and your teen through this journey. We have offices in 3 locations in the Philadelphia area– [Old City/ Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/old-city-philadelphia/) [Center City/ Logan Square, Philadelphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/center-city-pa/) [Main Line (Bala Cynwyd) Office ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/main-line-pa/) Coming soon to Collingswood, New Jersey! **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** divorce, grief therapy, teen grief, teen therapy, teenagers, therapy for teens --- ### [5 Reasons Why Sober Dating is A Superpower](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/22/5-reasons-why-sober-dating-is-a-superpower/) **Published:** August 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Thinking about quitting drinking and anxious about sober dating? Or maybe you are looking to just cut back on drinking but are curious how it may impact your relationship prospects. Many people tell me the idea of sober dating is a huge barrier in alcohol moderation. But here’s a secret.. what if I told you it can actually benefit you? ![Sober Dating: Amanda E. White wearing a shirt that says "recovery is so fetch" ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/SBH_Amanda_Headshots_0970-scaled.jpg) As someone who has dated sober and not ( I got sober at age 24 after all), I can tell you that sober dating opens up a whole new world of possibilities. It’s like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing everything in HD for the first time. Let’s dive into the five reasons why sober dating gives you an edge in finding a relationship. ## Why Sober Dating Is Your Superpower ### 1. You’re Actually Present Gone are the days when you were more focused on your next drink than your date’s story. When you’re sober dating, you’re fully there. You’re not just hearing words.. you’re listening. You’re not just seeing a face; you’re noticing expressions. Without alcohol clouding your judgment, you can really tune in to how you feel about the person sitting across from you. Are they making you laugh? Do you feel comfortable? Is there a spark? These are things you might have missed in your drunk dating days. Plus, being present means you’re more likely to remember all those little details that make dating fun. No more waking up the next day trying to piece together what happened. ### 2. You Make Better Choices When Sober Dating Let’s be real – alcohol has a way of making everyone look like a catch. But when you’re sober dating, you’re seeing people for who they really are. No beer goggles, no rose-colored glasses. Just pure, unfiltered reality. This means you’re more likely to choose partners who align with your values and goals. You’re not settling for someone just because they look good after a few drinks. And it’s not just about choosing better partners. You’re less likely to overshare, say things you don’t mean, overcommit or end up in situations you’re not comfortable with. ### 3. You Build Genuine Confidence Remember when you needed a drink (or three) to feel confident enough to talk to someone you liked? Those days are gone. Sober dating helps you build real, lasting confidence. You learn to rely on your own charm, wit, and personality. You discover that you don’t need liquid courage to be interesting or attractive. This kind of confidence doesn’t wear off when the buzz does – it sticks with you. There’s something incredibly empowering about knowing you can handle social situations without a crutch. Nervous about that first kiss? Anxious about meeting their friends? No problem – you’ve got this, all on your own. ### 4. Sober Dating Creates Deeper Connections Alcohol might make you feel more open, but it often leads to surface-level connections. Sober dating allows for real vulnerability and depth. When you’re not numbing your feelings, you’re more in touch with your emotions. This means you can share more authentically and connect on a deeper level. You’re not just swapping drunk anecdotes; you’re sharing ideas, beliefs and stories. This vulnerability is magnetic. People are drawn to authenticity. By showing up as your true self, you’re more likely to attract partners who appreciate the real you, not just the life-of-the-party version. As a result, you are more likely to find a relationship (if that is what you are looking for). You will waste less time because the lack of connection and red flags will be obvious. So you can move on to the right person for you. ### 5. You Actually Remember Your Love Story Imagine being able to look back on your relationship and remember every sweet detail of how it started. That’s the gift of sober dating. You’re creating clear, vivid memories of your journey together. First dates, first kisses, inside jokes – they’re all stored in full HD in your mind. No more piecing together your love story from blurry snapshots and secondhand accounts. This superpower doesn’t just give you great stories to tell. It also helps you build a stronger foundation for your relationship. You’re fully present for all those early moments that shape your connection, creating a richer, more meaningful bond from the start. ## The Sober Dating Advantage Embracing sober dating isn’t always easy, especially in a world where alcohol often feels like a social lubricant. But the benefits far outweigh any initial discomfort. You’re not just avoiding hangovers and regrettable texts – you’re setting yourself up for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, sobriety isn’t about missing out. It’s about gaining a whole new perspective on life and love. It’s about being the best version of yourself and attracting people who appreciate that version. Even if you’re not looking for a relationship right now, going on sober dates can help improve your life. Better decision-making, deeper connections, genuine confidence – these are gifts that keep on giving, whether you’re looking for love or just living your best life. I share all these tips and more in [my book](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Drinking-Tonight-Guide-Creating-ebook/dp/B093ZQ94GP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1GSU3AQ87MEZO&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qwBYRfa5s5qIAKeNThQ-bZLGp4z11AQjqlARNm7vjjqs2Y2QOe3_GuJVGa9BvSnn0EIcy41eKTcz4K5_ourXSUpXj0-C2I3zCKCU1mSM1V8daIkKosWnDE7YhBd63mdRM6It0t3chAsrb7-EAe62AJVbAxeCXt4RnprkmChpijPPf-Oz2mySdqBtfPqwTQe-nq9rXimSbKTYEfJkMgvngglPav3R5UWTv5HkC1tF4Go.d4IAQ9IJ7MilDlArFqRthrG4cXHHmw6LBq9HeiZsADw&dib_tag=se&keywords=not+drinking+tonight&qid=1724356919&sprefix=not+dirnking+tonight%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-1), *Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating a Life You Love*. If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, and want extra support, we have a number of therapists at Therapy for Women Center who can help and are trained in my unique approach. Learn more about it [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/substance-use-2/) **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** alcohol, dating, not drinking tonight --- ### [5 Compelling Reasons to Seek Pre-Marital Counseling for a Strong Foundation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/21/seek-pre-marital-counseling/) **Published:** August 21, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Are you engaged and preparing to get married? Pre-marital counseling is a great tool to help you build a strong foundation for your future together. Pre-marital counseling can help you and your partner navigate the challenges of married life and set you up for long-term success. Here are five compelling reasons why pre-marital counseling should be a priority for engaged couples. ![a man and woman who are engaged sit on a couch for pre-marital counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-cottonbro-4098142-scaled.jpg) ## Top 5 Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling ### 1. Develop Communication Skills Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. Pre-marital counseling can help you and your partner develop essential communication skills. Some things we teach couples are: active listening, expressing feelings constructively, and approaching difficult conversations with empathy. This will allow you to be better equipped to handle future challenges. ### 2. Identify and Address Potential Conflicts Every couple faces challenges. Pre-marital counseling can help them identify and address these problems early. This prevents small issues from becoming big ones. We can help you find common ground and strategies for dealing with differences in finances, parenting styles, or long-term goals. We use [Gottman Method](https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/ "Gottman Method") to help you and your partner handle disagreements effectively. ### 3. Deepen Your Connection with Pre-Marital Counseling Pre-marital counseling isn’t just about addressing potential problems. It is also an opportunity to celebrate your strengths as a couple and deepen your connection. Through guided discussions and exercises, you’ll gain a better understanding of each other’s values, dreams, and desires. You will learn how to support and encourage one another as you build your life together. Furthermore, by investing in your relationship before marriage, you’ll create a stronger, more resilient bond. ### 4. Create a Shared Vision for Your Future A shared vision for the future is essential for a successful marriage. Pre-marital counseling can help you and your partner identify your individual and collective goals, and develop a plan for achieving them together. By having open and honest conversations about your hopes and dreams, you’ll build a future that you both feel excited about. ### 5. Establish Realistic Expectations One of the key benefits of pre-marital counseling is that it helps couples establish realistic expectations for marriage. Many couples enter into marriage with idealized notions of what married life will be like, only to face challenges and conflicts that they were not prepared for. Sometimes we think that a marriage license will miraculously solve all of our problems. But any issues we are currently dealing with are not going to disappear after the wedding. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires dedication, compromise, and hard work. Talking about the responsibilities and obligations that come with marriage can ensure couples are on the same page so there are less surprises down the road. ## Is Pre-Marital Counseling For You? If you are engaged, pre-marital counseling equips you with the skills and resources needed to build a loving, lasting relationship. Seeking professional help before marriage can help you face challenges. It can also improve your chances of having a happy life together. Investing in pre-marital counseling is one of the best choices engaged couples can make before saying “I do.” Getting engaged is an exciting but potentially stressful time. We can help support you through this process so that you go into your wedding day feeling confident and secure in your relationship. Our licensed couples therapists are excited to support you through this next phase of life. [Click here ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/couples-counseling/)to learn more about our approach. **Categories:** Relationships **Tags:** couples counseling, couples therapy, gottman method, pre-marital counseling, relationships, Therapy Modalities --- ### [The Power of Therapy: How to Transform Negative Body Image](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/16/the-power-of-therapy-to-transform-negative-body-image/) **Published:** August 16, 2024 **Author:** Julia Johnston, LPCC, LICDC **Content:** So many of us feel excited when we finally make it through the cold winter months and get to enjoy the sunshine that comes with summertime. While summer can be a fun time for us, it may trigger negative body image. We live in a world that is saturated with images and messages that reinforce unrealistic beauty standards. The media constantly barrages us with pictures of models and celebrities with seemingly perfect bodies. And now, with new drugs on the market, we are seeing so many celebrities, influencers, family and friends turn to these medications in the hopes of attaining the perfect body. ![woman worried about negative body image](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-shkrabaanthony-5217843-scaled.jpg) This can take a huge toll on our self-esteem and body confidence. Millions of people, men and women, struggle with negative body image and disordered eating as a result. If you find yourself frequently criticizing your appearance, feeling ashamed about your body, or obsessing over your perceived flaws, you are not alone. Body dissatisfaction is extremely common. But it’s also a serious issue that can lead to depression, anxiety, and eating disorders if left unchecked. ## How Therapy Helps Negative Body Image One of the most effective ways to overcome negative body image is through therapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and related techniques. ### Identify and change negative body image thoughts A big part of CBT for body image issues involves identifying and changing the irrational, negative thought patterns that drive your self-criticism. Your therapist will help you notice the harsh “body bashing” inner voice and learn to replace those unhelpful thoughts with more realistic, positive self-talk. ### Challenge unrealistic beauty standards Our society’s “ideal” beauty standards are extremely narrow, unrealistic, and unattainable. In therapy, you’ll explore where these ideals come from and how they’re socially constructed. You will also learn why it’s so destructive to try to conform to them. You’ll focus on appreciating your body for what it can do rather than just how it looks. ### Build self-worth beyond appearance Part of developing a healthy body image is separating your sense of self-worth from your appearance. Therapists use CBT techniques to help you recognize your positive qualities, skills, and values that have nothing to do with your body. You’ll work on defining yourself as a whole person rather than just a body. ### Improve self-care Issues like poor body image often stem from negative ingrained behaviors like chronic dieting, binging/purging, or over exercising. Your therapist can help replace these unhealthy coping mechanisms with positive self-care activities focused on appreciating and nurturing your body rather than criticizing it. ### Heal from Trauma In many cases, body image issues originate from past traumas like sexual abuse, bullying, or even offhand comments from family members. Therapy provides a safe space to process this trauma and allows you to release the shame and negative feelings about your body. The road to developing a positive body image can be difficult, but you don’t have to walk it alone. There are many therapy modalities that work to address body image, CBT is just one of them. Working with a caring, qualified therapist can provide you with powerful tools and techniques to challenge dysfunctional beliefs, build self-compassion, and cultivate a healthier relationship with your body. [Click here to learn more about our therapists](https://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists "Click here to learn more about our therapists"). ## 5 Tips to Cope with Negative Body Image 1. Appreciate your body for what it can do, not just how it looks. Make a list of all the amazing things your body allows you to do and experience each day. 2. Ditch harsh body criticism. Practice changing negative self-talk into a positive, kind voice. 3. Consume media mindfully. Pay attention to people and accounts you follow online. Do the people you follow make you feel good about your body and promote realistic beauty standards? If not, you may want to hit the unfollow button. 4. Wear clothes that make you feel good. Prioritize dressing in ways that are comfortable and confidence boosting for you. 5. Compliment others on more than just their appearance. Appreciate the whole person, not just the physical traits. --- Julia Johnston is an out of state provider at Therapy for Women Center serving clients in Ohio and Florida. To learn more about her, [click here!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/julia-johnston-lpcc-licdc/) **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anorexia, body dysmorphia, Body image, bulimia, eating disorders, orthorexia --- ### [How to Manage Climate Anxiety Amid Rising Temperatures](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/15/how-to-deal-with-climate-anxiety/) **Published:** August 15, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Feeling more anxious about climate change lately? You aren’t alone! Climate anxiety is a real problem. The news from climate scientists is alarming. Even as we’re becoming more aware of our impact on the earth’s temperatures, governments are doing little to stop the damage. Climate anxiety is a growing concern all over the world. It’s normal to be afraid when reading headlines about what will happen as the earth’s temperature increases. However, understanding and addressing this type of anxiety is important for keeping calm as the world turns more turbulent. ![iceberg photo for post on climate anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-harrisonhaines-2869610-1-scaled.jpg) ## The Climate’s Impact on Mental Health Studies show that for every 1° C increase in the earth’s temperature, mental health issues increase in the general population by two percentage points. So yes, climate anxiety *is* real. These issues can manifest as a constant, low-level worry or escalate into full-blown panic attacks and depression. People living in areas directly affected by climate change, such as those experiencing severe droughts, floods, hurricanes, or wildfires, often face more acute trauma. Losing one’s house, livelihood, and even loved ones to climate-related disasters brings the issue of climate change much closer to home. Additionally, many people tend to feel overwhelmed by the scale of the problem. They may feel uncertain about how to make a meaningful difference. Therefore, this can lead to a kind of paralysis—it feels like individual help is futile. But it isn’t! Here are several ways you can begin to cope with climate change anxiety. ## How to Manage Climate Anxiety ### Educate Yourself (and Others) The more you know, the more you’ll feel empowered. When you understand the science behind climate change, its impacts, and potential solutions, this can give you guidance. Talk to others about climate change and what it means for humanity going forward. Educating yourself often means connecting with others, which will make you feel less alone in your worry. Remember, we’re in this together! ### Turn Climate Anxiety into Action Engaging in environmental activism can make you feel less helpless. Consider joining a local environmental group, advocating for specific policy changes, or making more sustainable lifestyle choices. Think of ways you can help. You could try: cutting down on meat consumption, being mindful of single-use plastics, and thrifting. You can also get involved in organizations such as the [Environmental Defense Fund](https://www.edf.org/climate/why-fighting-climate-change-so-urgent). Feeling a sense of accomplishment around doing your part can help put your mind at ease. However, remember you are one person and cannot possibly solve this problem alone. We need collective action from the world to solve this problem. ### Practice Mindfulness and Self-Care Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, are research-backed techniques for managing all types of stress, including climate anxiety. Regular physical activity, healthy eating, and good sleep practices are also crucial for maintaining mental and emotional health. Don’t forget to do things that make you happy. While your worries are perfectly valid, it’s important not to wallow and fret over the state of the world. Instead, time for yourself and find joy in life. Your distress alone is not going to help the current state of things, but your hope in the face of crisis can make a real difference. ### Connect with Nature If you are experiencing an increase in climate change anxiety, spending time in nature can calm you down. Getting in touch with the natural environment can remind you how amazingly resilient the earth is. Try hiking, gardening, walking in the park, or visiting nearby natural resources like rivers, caves, preserves, mountains, or seasides. However, even sitting outside for a few minutes a day can make a difference. ### Avoid Doomscrolling While it’s important to educate yourself, it’s also okay to take a break. There’s only so much a single human can do in the face of a worldwide issue. At some point, you need to protect your mental health. Recognize your emotional response to news and social media. If you feel your thoughts racing and your heart rate increasing, it’s time to log off. ### Attend Therapy for Climate Anxiety While it’s normal to feel deeply concerned about the environment, this anxiety shouldn’t impact your daily life. If you find yourself constantly ruminating about climate change or feel constantly afraid, consider therapy. A therapist can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms when you feel your anxiety ramping up. You’ll also learn how to change your negative thought patterns and use coping skills. Through therapy, you can find strength in your commitment to a better world. To find out more about how therapy can help you cope with climate change anxiety, [please reach out to us.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, current events, depression, mental health, self care, trauma --- ### [Everything You Need to Know About Seeing a Therapist Intern](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/10/01/everything-you-need-to-know-about-seeing-an-intern/) **Published:** October 1, 2021 **Author:** Jessica Heymann, LSW **Content:** ![A therapist Intern at Therapy for Women Center](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/DSC05860-683x1024.jpg) Reaching out for support and beginning your therapy journey is often daunting. So, if you have recently decided to start going to therapy, way to go! Unfortunately once you decide to go to therapy, the next steps of finding a therapist can feel scary. One option is to work with one a therapist intern. If you are looking for a low cost option for therapy, Therapy for Women Center is proud to have Master’s level interns who can help! There are many benefits to working with a therapist intern, either to begin or continue your therapy journey! Here are just a few. ## A Therapist Intern has a smaller caseload If you see an intern, they will have a smaller caseload than any of our other therapists. We design the smaller case load to accommodate interns’ part time schedules while in school. It also allows for more supervision and clinical support from their supervisors. This means they have significantly more time to plan for sessions and research new techniques that may be helpful for your specific situation. It can also potentially mean they more flexibility to work within your schedule. ## Working with a therapist intern costs less As interns, we are not allowed to take insurance. However, we offer our sessions at a significantly lower sliding scale rate of $40 per session. This can help make therapy a more affordable option. With an intern, you get the benefit of expertise from all of the professionals educating and supervising them at a fraction of the cost. That’s at least 2 therapists’ insight! ## Therapist Interns Meet with Senior Licensed Clinicians Weekly Now, you may be thinking that we are avoiding the obvious: interns may have limited experience (or no experience). But, this can also benefit you in several ways! As interns we often don’t have a long history of working with a specific issue or population. So, we may be more inclined to think outside of the box rather than utilizing treatment plans that have worked for clients in the past. As mentioned above, our interns also more time to devote to each individual case due to smaller caseloads. This means utilizing the most up to date research and techniques available, while also benefiting from the experience and wisdom of those supervising us, and the treatments that have worked for their clients in the past. As interns, we are also accustomed to asking questions and seeking support from those with more experience than us. You can be assured that if you are working with an intern, there is more than one clinician working with them behind the scenes. This is to ensure that you are receiving the excellent care and support that you deserve. ## Therapist interns are enthusiastic! As interns some of us have been working hard for years to get to this point where we can finally begin doing what we are passionate about and work to support our clients and provide mental health care. Some of you could even be an intern’s first ever client! Although our therapists are dedicated to providing quality care and support for every single client at Therapy for Women, there is a special level of enthusiasm among our intern therapists. We are so excited to get to learn your story, and provide support as you work towards whatever changes or goals brought you to Therapy for Women in the first place. We can’t wait to work with you as you continue on your journey to living a more healed, happy and fulfilling life! --- *Jessica specializes in anxiety, depression trauma, and self-esteem. To learn more about Jessica, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/jess-heymann-lsw).* *Looking for a therapist, want to see an intern, or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started).* **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** low fee therapy, Our Practice --- ### [Therapy for Teens: How to Talk to Your Teen About Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/02/10/therapy-for-teens-how-to-talk-to-your-teen/) **Published:** February 10, 2024 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Excerpt:** Has your teen been struggling with their mental health? Are they experiencing moodiness, social struggles, school avoidance, or difficulty concentrating? Your teen does not need to have an official mental health diagnosis in order to benefit from therapy. Being able to support a teenager before they end up struggling with more complicated issues is a great time to get them into therapy. Conversely, if they are struggling with more serious symptoms like anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, substance use or eating struggles, we can also help! **Content:** Has your teen been struggling with their mental health? Are they experiencing moodiness, social struggles, school avoidance, or difficulty concentrating? Your teen does not need to have an official mental health diagnosis in order to benefit from therapy for teens. Being able to support a teenager before they end up struggling with more complicated issues is a great time to get them into therapy. Conversely, if they are struggling with more serious symptoms like anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, substance use or eating struggles, therapy for teens can also help! ![Teen with pink hair in therapy for teens virtually](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721434450682-1024x1024.jpg) As a caregiver, it can be scary to know where to start, let alone to try to convince your teen about the importance of therapy. Starting therapy is a big step for the whole family. We know it can feel intimidating to get started. If you are a caregiver, you play a big role in helping your teen understand the benefits of therapy. You can also help them feel comfortable before their first session. This makes it more likely that they will be interested in attending sessions and will make therapy more effective. At Therapy for Women, we aim to support you through this process. Keep reading to learn our best tips. ## How to Approach Your Child About Therapy for Teens Steal our favorite metaphor. You teenager is likely used to going to the doctor when they don’t feel physically well. Similarly, you can explain that therapy is a place they can attend when they do not feel emotionally well. We all need support with our health at different times in our lives. And there is no shame in attending therapy in order to get extra support and tools. Attending therapy does not mean there is anything wrong with your teen. And it is important to tell them this. Some teenagers may be concerned that you think there is something wrong with them if you suggest therapy. Emphasize that you believe they could use some extra support, just like if we need some extra care of support with school. Remember, therapy is a common and ordinary tool people use. If you have been to therapy before, it can be powerful to share your experience with them. Normalize the experience much like you would going to the doctor. If you are suggesting this, be honest about the reasons why you feel therapy could be beneficial for them. Have you noticed they have been spending more time alone? Are they trying to avoid going to school? Are they quick to anger and seem irritated by everything and everyone? Is your teen sleeping a lot more or less? All of these can be warning signs that they are struggling with their mental health. Address the reasons you think talking to someone could be helpful. A teen or adolescent ages 10 or above will be more likely to appreciate transparency in the conversation. ![A teen girl sitting on a couch attending therapy for teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721434570033-1024x1024.jpg) ### Addressing Fears and Concerns About Therapy for Teens It is normal and expected that your teen may have fears or concerns about therapy. Let them know that these fears are normal! Validate their feelings and reassure them that just because they are nervous, does not mean that is it not worth going. Give them more information about their therapist and how you think the first session will go. You can share where they are going, the therapist’s name, and answer any questions that they may have. Let them know that what they share in therapy is private and confidential. The therapist will only share information with them if necessary. And you are not using therapy to try to get private information about them. If your teen still seems resistant, or unsure that’s okay, too. It’s normal for them to feel that they don’t need therapy or do not believe that it will help them. Let me know they can start with just one session. It is okay to try it and then you call can determine whether the therapist is the right fit. ### Concluding Thoughts It can feel uncomfortable to talk your teen about going to therapy. However, in order to have them get the support they need, it is important to talk to them. If you approach this conversation honestly, with empathy and compassion, it will alleviate some of their initial fears. Remember, therapy is a valuable resource for teens and can empower them to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and strength. At Therapy for Women, we specialize in [working with teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/teens/) on a wide variety of issues, from anxiety, depression, ADHD, eating disorders, OCD, substance use and more. We would be honored to help! **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** teens --- ### [How to Navigate Trauma Anniversary Reactions: The Ultimate Self Care Guide](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/14/how-to-navigate-trauma-anniversary-reactions-the-ultimate-self-care-guide/) **Published:** November 14, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Living with trauma isn’t linear, and many of us struggle on our trauma anniversary. Our reactions can catch us off guard – whether it’s a specific date, season, or time of year that brings back difficult memories. As a therapist working with young women in Philadelphia and Florida, I’ve seen how these anniversary reactions impact many of us, but there are ways to move through them with self-compassion and support. ![Woman feeling triggered by her trauma anniversary. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/front-view-anxious-woman-sitting-couch-1-683x1024.jpg) ## What is a Trauma Anniversary? A trauma anniversary marks the date or time period when a significant traumatic event occurred. Your body and mind might remember this date even if you consciously try not to think about it. During these times, you might notice increased anxiety, changes in sleep patterns, or feeling emotionally raw – and that’s completely normal. ## 7 Ways to Care for Yourself During a Trauma Anniversary ### 1. Plan Ahead Think of your body as having its own calendar. Just like your phone sends you reminders, your body keeps track of significant dates and can trigger responses like increased heart rate, changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, or unexpected mood shifts. Mark these dates in your calendar. This simple act helps you prepare and gather support before the anniversary arrives. You don’t need to face these days unprepared. ### 2. Create a Comfort Tool Kit Build a personalized collection of grounding items: - Soft blankets or [weighted blankets](https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-weighted-blankets/) - Calming scents or essential oils - Favorite playlists - Photos of happy memories - Journal and colored pens ### 3. Set Boundaries Remember, you get to decide what you need during this time. This might mean taking time off work, limiting social media, or saying no to extra commitments. ### 4. Move Your Body Mindfully Physical movement can help release stored tension through gentle yoga, walking in nature, or simple stretching exercises. ### 5. Connect with Support Reach out to people who understand and respect your experience – trusted friends, family, a trauma [therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma), or support groups. ### 6. Create New Rituals Consider developing meaningful activities for this day: - Writing letters to yourself - Volunteering - Creating art - Planting something - Practicing mindfulness ### 7. Stay Present Ground yourself in the now using techniques like: - The 5-4-3-2-1 sensory exercise - Mindful breathing - Focus on immediate surroundings ## When to Seek Additional Support While anniversary reactions are normal, sometimes we need extra help. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you experience: - Persistent difficulty with daily tasks - Increased isolation - Thoughts of self-harm - Overwhelming emotional responses - Significant changes in sleep or eating patterns ## Creating Your Personal Strategy Everyone’s trauma anniversary experience is unique. Take time to reflect on what works for you: - Which activities help you feel grounded? - What kind of support do you need? - How can you show yourself compassion? - What boundaries would help you feel safe? ## Moving Forward Remember that acknowledging trauma anniversaries isn’t about staying stuck – it’s about honoring your journey and taking care of yourself. These dates might always hold significance, but with time and support, you can develop a toolkit that helps you navigate them with more ease. Your feelings around trauma anniversaries are valid, and you deserve support during these times. If you’re in Philadelphia or Florida and looking for professional support, many therapists (including myself) specialize in helping women navigate trauma. Remember, healing happens on your timeline, and there’s no “right” way to handle trauma anniversaries. Trust your instincts, be gentle with yourself, and know that support is available when you need it. [Click here to get started.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** childhood trauma, emotional trauma, physical trauma, sexual trauma, trauma --- ### [The Importance of Social Media Safety for Teens: A How to Guide for Parents](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/11/the-importance-of-internet-safety-for-teens-a-how-to-guide-for-parents/) **Published:** November 11, 2024 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** The internet is a vast and strange place. You can watch a video of a baby hippopotamus pretending to eat with her mom and somehow end up down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. Despite its nuance, social media has become integral in this day and age to stay connected. This means that as much as we would like to avoid it, our teenagers will be on it. Let’s explore social media safety for teens and tips you can use as a parent that will help protect your teens while keeping communication open. ![teen girl with a cell phone needing help with social media safety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/beautiful-young-teenager-yellow-shirt-ripped-jeans-with-braided-hair-texting-phone-1-683x1024.jpg) The conversation about social media safety for teens may begin with an “UGH,” but remember – it’s better to have them informed and maintain open dialogue. Let’s focus on two essential areas: mindful scrolling and social media safety tips. ## Mindful Scrolling: More Than Just Memes With countless weird memes flooding their feeds, we want to ensure teens absorb positive content. Here’s how to approach different types of content: **Concerning Content:** Let’s talk about real examples, like diet culture and body image. There are countless creators offering “nutrition” advice without credentials, mainly promoting dangerous ideas about “being skinny” and skipping meals. While parents might want to jump in with “but you are beautiful the way you are!” try this instead: - Open a broader conversation about why they feel pressure to skip meals - Discuss what healthy nutrition looks like - Offer professional help if needed - Consider consulting a therapist or [nutritionist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) if patterns persist **Harmless but Strange Content:** Some content might seem bizarre but causes no real harm. For example, I’ll never understand “skibidi toilet” myself, but there’s nothing dangerous about its strangeness. Your teens can often judge these things for themselves. Try to: - Research trending topics before forming opinions - Avoid quick judgments - Offer new perspectives - Accept that while being called a “sigma” might drive you crazy, it’s actually a compliment… I think! ## Essential Social Media Safety for Teens While technology connects us globally, we must be thoughtful about online communications. Many teens use social media to find like-minded peers worldwide. Instead of jumping to [“Dateline”](https://www.nbcnews.com/dateline) scenarios, try these social media safety tips: **Building Trust and Safety:** - Use relatable real-life safety parallels - Explain the importance of verifying online identities - Avoid scary warnings about “creepy old men” - Encourage video chatting for verifying online friends - Ask casual questions about their online relationships **Smart Social Media Safety Practices:** - Discuss privacy settings across different platforms - Talk about what information is safe to share - Help them understand digital footprints - Guide them in recognizing suspicious behavior **Creating Open Dialogue:** - Show interest in their online activities - Ask about accounts they follow - Discuss videos they watch - Share your own observations without judgment - Keep conversations flowing naturally **Balancing Freedom with Protection** Remember that online friends aren’t uncommon in today’s world. Instead of prohibiting these connections: - Ask questions casually to learn more - Encourage safe verification methods - Show interest in their online communities - Guide them toward safe practices ## Putting It All Together With mindful scrolling and proper social media safety tips for teens in mind, we can help teens use technology healthily. Trust that we’ve taught them how to stay safe, while helping them develop their own opinions and beliefs. This gives them the tools they need to navigate the internet confidently. The key to social media safety for teens isn’t constant monitoring or strict rules – it’s building trust, maintaining open communication, and helping them develop critical thinking skills. While you might not understand every trend or meme, staying engaged and supportive helps ensure your teen’s online experience remains positive and safe. Remember: That “UGH” at the beginning of your conversation might transform into meaningful dialogue about their digital world. Keep the door open, stay curious, and guide them toward safe online practices. To learn more about our approach to working with [teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/teens/), click here or [get started ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)with an appointment. --- Becca Adleberg, LPC is a licensed therapist at Therapy for Women specializing in working with teens and young adults experiencing anxiety, depression, OCD, and body image. Learn more about her [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/) **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** anxiety, Body image, depression, eating disorders, Gen Z, Internet Safety, social media, teens --- ### [New Relationship Anxiety: Signs and Tips for Coping](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/new-relationship-anxiety-signs-and-tips-for-coping/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Entering a new relationship can be an exhilarating experience filled with joy, excitement, and the promise of a deep connection. However, it can also bring out a significant amount of anxiety. New relationship anxiety is a common phenomenon that can stem from past experiences, fear of the unknown, or insecurities. ![photo of a female couple on a swing set for article on new relationship anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721507774427.jpg) Recognizing the signs of anxiety and learning effective strategies to manage it can help you move forward with confidence and build a healthy, fulfilling relationship. ## Understanding New Relationship Anxiety New relationship anxiety often arises from the uncertainty and vulnerability in the early stages of a romantic connection. You might worry about whether your partner feels the same way, fears rejection, or is concerned about repeating past relationship mistakes. This anxiety can manifest in various ways, affecting your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. ## Signs of New Relationship Anxiety ###  Overthinking and Overanalyzing - You find yourself constantly second-guessing your partner’s words and actions, looking for hidden meanings or signs of disinterest. - You spend a lot of time replaying conversations and wondering if you said or did something wrong. ### Need for Reassurance - You frequently seek validation from your partner about their feelings for you. - You feel a strong need for constant communication and reassurance that everything is okay. ### Fear of Vulnerability - You struggle with opening up and being your true self, fearing that your partner may not accept you. - You put up emotional walls or distance yourself to protect against potential hurt. ### Physical Symptoms - Anxiety can manifest physically, causing symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, restlessness, or trouble sleeping. ### Avoidance Behaviors - You might avoid deepening the relationship or having serious conversations to prevent potential conflict. - You may delay making plans or hesitate to commit to activities that could bring you closer together. ## Tips For Managing New Relationship Anxiety ### Acknowledge Your Feelings The first step in managing anxiety is acknowledging it. Understand that it’s normal to feel anxious in a new relationship and that these feelings don’t necessarily indicate a problem with the relationship. ### Communicate Openly Share your feelings and concerns with your partner. Honest communication can help alleviate misunderstandings and build trust. Let your partner know if you’re feeling anxious and why. They might be able to provide the reassurance you need. ### Focus on the Present Try to stay grounded in the moment instead of worrying about the future or whatever is ruminating from the past. Enjoy the time you spend together without overthinking where the relationship is heading. ### Build Self-Confidence Take time to work on your personal self-esteem. Participate in activities that boost your self-worth and remind you of your strengths and qualities. A strong sense of self can help reduce anxiety and reliance on external validation. ### Take it Slow Allow the relationship to develop at a natural pace. There’s no need to rush things. Taking it slow can help you build a strong foundation and give you time to address any anxieties that arise. ### Challenge Negative Thoughts Be mindful of negative or catastrophic thinking patterns. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts by considering more realistic and positive possibilities. ### Celebrate Small Wins Acknowledge and celebrate the positive moments and milestones in your relationship. Focusing on the good aspects can help shift your mindset away from anxiety and towards appreciation and joy. ### Prioritize Self-Care Self-care can help ease anxious thoughts around relationships. Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, stretching, reading, or hobbies. Take care of your mental and physical well-being to improve your overall outlook on your relationship. ### Seek Support for New Relationship Anxiety Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or even a mental health therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help provide perspective and help you feel less isolated and anxious. If you notice new relationship anxiety, it may be time to give counseling a try! **Categories:** Anxiety, Relationships **Tags:** couples therapy, relationship issues, relationships --- ### [How to Find the Positive in Loss in Grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/08/29/grief-finding-the-positive-in-loss/) **Published:** August 29, 2022 **Author:** Chris Turpyn, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/girl-5560212_1280-682x1024.jpg) Life is a journey of adventure, reward, and, sometimes, intense challenge. When you least expect it, your life can change forever. I can relate to that feeling all too well. I am here today because therapy helped me through the darkest days of grief following my only child’s unexpected death in 2010. That is when I walked into therapy broken and came out the other side committed to being that person for someone else. I had attended therapy before 2010, working through anxiety and relationship issues in my past, but had moved and never established a new provider. Then one day, I received a phone call that changed my life forever. Suddenly, I was more vulnerable and broken than I had ever been in my life. ## I needed to find someone to help me survive. I wanted to find someone I could talk to who would know how I felt or had been through what I was experiencing. Each time I called a new therapist in my area, I had to describe to someone on the phone what had happened and why I was reaching out. After three calls, I couldn’t do it anymore. Luckily, my neighbor was a therapist and thought I might connect with someone she could recommend. I was terrified walking into that office. I felt as though the initial meeting was a make-or-break situation for me. And I needed that person to be real, present, open, and provide a safe space. She did that day and at every visit for the next three years. Thankfully, she had not experienced what I had gone through, but she was a Mom, and she got it. She walked that painful journey with me, I’m sure confronting her most innate fear as a mother through my grief, and I am here today because she was willing to be there. ## Grief work was painful, but so necessary for me. How is it that the rest of the world kept going when my entire world stopped? I was so angry, so lost, and incredibly sad. I knew I couldn’t move forward with my life without getting help. It took time to build trust with my therapist. There were so many sessions when I couldn’t stop crying long enough to talk. I needed to say things out loud that I wasn’t willing to at first; so many regrets, “if onlys,” and “what ifs.” In response to those unspoken words I kept choking on, my therapist asked if I would trust her to close my eyes and follow her prompts. I didn’t want to. I was so guarded. But I let her walk me through a guided imagery scenario in which I met up with my daughter and conversed with her. That was one of the most positive and powerful experiences of my therapy; a true turning point for me. I have learned so much through my [grief work](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-grief-counseling-5189153) and subsequent studies. First, let me validate that grief work has no end date. There is no set timeframe for someone to be “over it” and “moving on.” Those words are not helpful to a grieving person. As I sit here twelve years later, I am moved to tears just reliving these memories. ## When you are unsure what to say to someone who is grieving, tell them that. It’s okay not to know what to say or do for them; how could you possibly know what they are going through? Ask them how you can help and what would be helpful for them, even if they don’t know the answer. Some of my most valuable moments were having friends or family sit in silence with me. So often, people try to fill the silence with words, and in my experience, there were no words for what I felt. Love is palpable; I could feel love and support with no words. I also found that people often ignore death to make themselves more comfortable. I remember returning to work after one month, and everyone in the office thought it would be easier for me if they acted as if nothing had happened. They also turned the overhead music in the office off so as not to play something that might upset me. It was eerily quiet, and I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. No one asked me what I might need. They just tried to do what they thought would be helpful–but how could they possibly know that? So many people assumed I didn’t want to talk about my daughter; I wanted to talk about her then and still do. ## Working through grief has changed my life perspective completely. Imagine this scenario: What if you had already lived through the most painful experience you could have in your lifetime? Over time, that perspective shone through for me–what’s the worst that could happen? I already know the answer to that question. It morphed into an empowering momentum for me, and I started seeing that perspective as a gift. I felt I could challenge myself to do things I wouldn’t have considered before, such as returning to college and switching careers. I was determined to make a difference, and it was crucial to me to honor my daughter’s life by surviving. In my personal experience, I found a light at the end of the dark tunnel of grief. I found a new perspective and new meaning. Where I once thought there could not possibly be a tomorrow for me, I am now helping others find theirs. It’s important to reiterate that no person’s grief journey is the same. While my grief has impassioned me to help others, it has also informed my work as a therapist that I can’t possibly know what others are going through in their unique experiences. But I can listen. I can be real, present, open, and provide a safe space. And that’s what I’m doing. I became a licensed therapist to use my life perspective to help others and feel honored every day to walk with clients on their path to healing. “The only way out is through.” -Robert Frost --- *Chris is a virtual therapist at Therapy for Women, specializing in anxiety, depression, eating disorders, grief work, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Chris or find out if she serves your state, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/chris-turpyn-lpc).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Grief **Tags:** grief --- ### [How Grief Changes You and How to Find New Purpose](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/17/how-grief-changes-you-and-how-to-find-new-purpose/) **Published:** November 17, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** When someone we love dies, we know life will feel different. But many people don’t realize how grief changes you at your core. The journey through grief transforms not just your daily life, but your entire sense of who you are. In those first raw days and weeks after a loss, you might barely recognize yourself. Simple tasks feel impossible. Your favorite foods taste like nothing. Even your reflection in the mirror might seem strange. These changes happen because grief affects both your body and mind. You might notice: - Your sleep patterns shift dramatically - Food either becomes unimportant or a source of comfort - Normal routines feel meaningless - Time moves differently – either too fast or unbearably slow - Familiar places and activities spark unexpected emotions ![woman crying with grief on the couch ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/adult-woman-with-mental-health-issues-683x1024.jpg) ## How Grief Changes You and Your Relationships Loss reshapes how you connect with others. Some friends might step back, unsure how to help. Others might surprise you with their steady presence. You’ll likely notice that: - Small talk becomes harder to tolerate - You connect more deeply with people who understand loss - Old friendships might feel shallow or meaningful in new ways - You value authenticity more than ever before ## How Grief Changes You and Your Values One of the most profound ways grief changes you involves your priorities. Things that once seemed crucial might now feel trivial. You might find yourself: - Caring less about work deadlines or social obligations - Feeling more drawn to meaningful conversations - Spending time differently than before - Making major life changes that previously scared you ## Finding Your New Normal People often talk about “getting back to normal” after a loss. But grief changes you too deeply for that. Instead, you build a new normal that includes your loss. This process takes time and might involve: - Creating new traditions that honor your loved one - Developing different daily routines - Finding new ways to mark special occasions - Learning to carry both joy and sadness together ## How Grief Changes You Physically and Mentally Your body feels grief just as much as your heart does. How grief changes you physically can include: - Changes in energy levels - Different eating and sleeping patterns - New aches and pains - A need for more rest than before - Stronger or weaker immune system responses Your emotional landscape shifts dramatically when grieving. You might experience: - More intense feelings about seemingly small things - A deeper capacity for empathy - Less patience for superficial interactions - Stronger reactions to future losses - New emotional triggers ## Finding Meaning After Loss As time passes, many people discover how grief changes you in unexpected positive ways: - Deeper appreciation for life - Stronger connections with certain people - Clear sense of personal priorities - More authentic way of living - Greater capacity for compassion Remember that grief follows no schedule. How grief changes you happens gradually and differently for everyone. You might notice: - Some changes appear immediately after loss - Others develop slowly over months or years - Certain aspects of grief ease while others remain - New understanding of your loss emerges over time ## Learning to Live with Loss As you navigate how grief changes you, remember that change doesn’t mean forgetting. Growth through grief honors your loved one, and your transformation reflects the depth of your love. Each person’s grief journey looks different, and that’s okay. Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving memories behind – instead, it means carrying them with you in new ways. The way grief changes you becomes part of who you are. This doesn’t mean staying stuck in pain, but rather evolving with your experience. You learn to incorporate your loss into your life story, finding meaningful ways to honor your loved one’s memory. Through this journey, you create new meaning from your experience, gradually building a life that includes both joy and sorrow. As you experience how grief changes you, try to: - Be patient with yourself - Accept that some days feel harder than others - Seek support when needed - Honor your own grieving style - Allow space for both sadness and hope ## How to Support Yourself Through Change The way grief changes you becomes part of who you are. This doesn’t mean staying stuck in pain, but rather evolving with your experience. You learn to incorporate your loss into your life story, finding meaningful ways to honor your loved one’s memory. Through this journey, you create new meaning from your experience, gradually building a life that includes both joy and sorrow. Supporting yourself through these changes means being patient with your process, accepting that some days feel harder than others, and seeking support when you need it. Each step forward honors both your grief and your growth, allowing you to move through life carrying both your loss and your love. Remember, there’s no “right” way to grieve. How grief changes you reflects your unique relationship with your loved one and your personal journey through loss. Honor your process, be gentle with yourself, and know that transformation through grief, while painful, can lead to profound personal growth. Need support navigating how grief changes you? We have a number of [therapists ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists)who specialize in grief who would love to help! **Categories:** Grief **Tags:** bereavement, death, grief, loss --- ### [OCD Medication: Important Things to Know from A Psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/11/17/important-things-to-know-about-ocd-medication/) **Published:** November 17, 2024 **Author:** Eli Muhrer, MD **Content:** Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can feel overwhelming. Fortunately, effective treatments are available right here in Philadelphia. While therapy remains a cornerstone of treatment, medication from a qualified psychiatrist or PHNP often plays a vital role. In this guide, we’ll explore how OCD medication works and how it fits into your treatment plan. ![OCD medication](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/flat-lay-pills-coming-out-plastic-container-scaled.jpg) ## The Role of OCD Medication in Treatment First and foremost, OCD medication can transform lives. These medications help quiet obsessive thoughts and reduce compulsive behaviors. As a result, you’ll find it easier to participate in therapy and enjoy daily activities. Medication for mental health disorders often work best when combined with therapy. They work in tandem. The medication can help you get to the point where you feel ready to seek further support and learn more about your thoughts and behaviors and where they’re coming from. In fact, many psychiatrists recommend this comprehensive approach. Together, medication and therapy create a powerful treatment strategy. ## Types of OCD Medication Your Philadelphia Psychiatrist May Prescribe When you visit a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner, they’ll discuss several medication options: 1. **Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)** These are typically the first choice for OCD treatment. 2. **Tricyclic Antidepressants (TCAs)** These may help when SSRIs don’t provide enough relief. 3. **Atypical Antipsychotics** Sometimes added to boost treatment effectiveness. ## SSRIs: The First-Line OCD Medication Most psychiatrists start with SSRIs because they’re effective and well-tolerated. These medications increase serotonin levels in your brain. Subsequently, this helps reduce OCD symptoms. Common SSRIs include: - Fluoxetine (Prozac) - Sertraline (Zoloft) - Paroxetine (Paxil) - Fluvoxamine (Luvox) While SSRIs are generally safe, they can cause side effects. For instance, you might experience nausea or sleep changes. Medications work differently for each individual, so your Philadelphia psychiatrist will work closely with you to find the right fit and make sure the pros outweigh any cons. If the first medication you try isn’t quite right, don’t stress—sometimes it takes time for you and your psychiatrist to find what works best for you. ## TCAs: An Alternative OCD Medication Option Sometimes, SSRIs don’t provide enough relief. In these cases, your psychiatrist may suggest clomipramine. This medication has helped people with OCD since the 1980s, but TCAs often cause more side effects than SSRIs. For this reason, they’re usually not the first choice and are only prescribed when SSRI’s aren’t effective on their own. Your psychiatrist will carefully weigh the benefits and risks. ## Atypical Antipsychotics: Boosting OCD Treatment Some people will benefit from adding an atypical antipsychotic. These medications can enhance the effects of SSRIs or TCAs. Like the other medications described above, they have their own potential side effects, so your psychiatrist will only include these in your treatment with very careful consideration. ## How OCD Medication Works in Your Brain Understanding brain chemistry helps explain medication effects. Most OCD medications target a chemical called serotonin. Although we don’t fully understand the connection, increasing serotonin often reduces symptoms. Specifically, SSRIs block serotonin reabsorption in your brain. Consequently, more serotonin becomes available. This helps regulate mood and reduce OCD symptoms. ## Combining Medication with Therapy While medication helps many people, combining it with therapy works even better. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is especially effective for OCD. During ERP, you’ll face your fears gradually while learning to resist compulsions. It’s about facing them head-on in a controlled, supportive environment, so that eventually OCD loses some of its power. Learn more about ERP [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/). Moreover, research shows impressive results from this combination. Studies find that medication plus [ERP can reduce symptoms by 40-50 %](https://iocdf.org/ocd-treatment-guide/understanding-medication/). Therefore, many psychiatrists recommend both treatments together. ## Starting Medication: What to Expect Before starting medication, here’s what a Philadelphia psychiatrist wants you to know: 1. Finding the right medication takes patience. Sometimes, you’ll need to try different options or adjust doses. 2. Medications need time to work. Most people wait 8-12 weeks before seeing major improvements. 3. Side effects often occur initially. Fortunately, many side effects decrease as your body adjusts. 4. Regular appointments are essential. Your psychiatrist will monitor progress and make adjustments. 5. Never stop medication suddenly. Always consult your psychiatrist first to avoid withdrawal symptoms. ## Your Path to Recovery OCD medication offers hope for managing symptoms effectively. When combined with therapy, it becomes even more powerful. If you’re struggling with OCD, consider talking to a qualified psychiatrist about your options. At Therapy for Women Center, our board-certified psychiatrist and nurse practitioner provide comprehensive medication management. We also coordinate with our therapists to ensure integrated care. [Contact us today to get started!](https://www.therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) **Categories:** OCD **Tags:** medication, medication management, OCD, psychiatry, ssris --- ### [Important Things to Know About IFS Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/27/important-things-to-know-about-internal-family-systems/) **Published:** October 27, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is an approach to psychotherapy that has recently gained recognition for its unique perspective on the human mind. IFS is grounded in the belief that the mind is not a single entity, but is composed of various sub-personalities, or “parts.” These parts may have conflicting emotions, desires, or roles, and contribute to a person’s overall well-being. IFS is used to help people heal their inner wounds. Here’s what to know about[ Internal Family Systems Therapy](https://ifs-institute.com/). ![One of our therapists, Beth who specializes in IFS Therapy ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/IMG_1774-Elizabeth-Krieger-1-768x1024.jpg) ## Understanding the “Parts” in IFS Therapy IFS views the mind as having sub-personalities, and they generally fall into three categories. 1. **Exiles:** These parts hold the pain, shame, fear, or other difficult emotions resulting from trauma. Because these emotions are often too painful to feel, they are “exiled” from the conscious mind. However, just because they are exiled does not mean they can’t affect a person’s behaviors. 2. **Managers:** These parts work hard to maintain control, keep you functioning in everyday life, and prevent the exiles from resurfacing. Manager parts of the mind often present as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or excessive self-criticism. Their primary goal is to protect you from pain, even though by doing so, it makes you feel more exhausted. 3. **Firefighters:** When an exiled part is triggered, firefighters step in to extinguish the pain. They use more extreme methods to numb the pain, such as overeating, substance use, or risky and impulsive decision-making. Firefighters aim to offer relief, but their strategies lead to additional problems. ## The Role of the “Self” IFS proposes that everyone has a core Self, or a genuine Self, that is waiting to be accessed. The Self has positive qualities, which are known as the eight Cs and the five Ps. The eight Cs are: - Confidence - Calmness - Creativity - Clarity - Curiosity - Courage - Compassion - Connectedness The five Ps are: - Presence - Patience - Perspective - Persistence - Playfulness In IFS sessions, the therapist guides the client to help them access the Self. The overall goal is to connect the Self with the parts so that the parts start to feel safe enough to release emotional build up. ## How IFS Therapy Works Overall, IFS is a collaborative process between client and therapist. It’s about building trust and allowing the therapist to guide you through the process. - **Identifying the Parts:** A client takes time to name all of their different parts that are involved in their emotions. For example, a person may assign one part as the “critic” who shames them when they make mistakes, a “caretaker” who is constantly trying to meet the needs of others, or a “protector” that tries to protect them from feeling pain. The names of the parts are up to the client. - **Understanding the Parts’ Roles:** Once the parts have an identity, the therapist helps the client understand their purpose. Parts are not bad or good, but are rather something the mind has to protect itself. - **Accessing the Self:** One of the main goals of IFS is helping the client reach their Self. As the client becomes more connected with their Self, they begin to observe their parts from a place of compassion rather than a place of fear. - **Unburdening the Parts:** The next step is the Self working with the parts to release their burden. This means freeing the parts from the extreme role they’ve taken on and allowing them to integrate into their mind-body system. Once the parts are released, the Self can then take control. - **Healing:** Reintegration of the Self takes time, effort, and patience. Healing through IFS is not just about fixing behaviors, but creating this feeling of internal peace where each part of the Self feels value. ## Who Can Benefit From IFS? Anyone! IFS can help with many types of mental health issues, such as: - Trauma and PTSD - Depression and Anxiety - Relationship Issues - Low Self-Esteem - Eating Disorders - OCD and addictive behaviors Learn more about our approach to IFS [here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ifs-therapy/) If you are interested in working with one of our IFS specialists, like [Beth](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/beth-krieger/) (pictured above!), [click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ifs-therapy/y) to get started! **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** IFS, Internal Family Systems, Therapy Modalities --- ### [Teen Obsessed with Skincare? How to Prevent a Sephora Kid](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/10/17/teen-obsessed-with-skincare-how-to-prevent-a-sephora-kid/) **Published:** October 17, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Do you have a teen obsessed with skincare? In today’s social media-driven world, many teens find themselves caught up in the latest beauty trends. One particularly popular obsession is skincare. While taking care of one’s skin is important, an excessive focus on it can sometimes lead to issues. This blog post will explore how parents can support their teens who might be overly concerned with skincare routines. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/medium-shot-girl-putting-makeup-683x1024.jpg) ## Understanding Why Your Teen is Obsessed with Skincare The rise of social media, especially platforms like TikTok, has exposed teens to countless skincare products and routines. Many young influencers showcase elaborate “get ready with me” videos and promote high-end products. This can make impressionable teens feel they need to follow suit. The hashtag #Sephorakids has gained popularity, with children as young as 8 years old trying out skincare products and sharing their beauty store hauls. While early self-care is positive, problems arise when it becomes excessive or obsessive. As a parent, you need to be aware of how much time and energy your teen devotes to their skincare routine. ## Signs Your Teen is Obsessed with Skincare Watch out for these indicators that your teen’s interest in skincare might be becoming unhealthy: 1. Spending excessive time on skincare routines 2. Constantly talking about or researching skincare products 3. Showing distress when unable to follow their routine 4. Avoiding social situations due to skin-related insecurities 5. Expressing frequent dissatisfaction with their skin despite using numerous products 6. Developing rashes or irritated skin from using products not suitable for young skin ## How to Support a Teen Obsessed with Skincare If you’ve noticed these signs in your teen, here are some strategies to help: 1. **Listen Without Judgment**: Create an open environment where your teen feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings about skincare. Avoid criticizing their concerns, as this might make them more defensive. 2. **Educate About Online Content**: Help your teen understand that many online images are filtered or edited. Teach them to think critically about the content they consume and the unrealistic standards it might set. Remind them that influencers are often paid to promote products. 3. **Discuss Product Safety**: Explain that many anti-aging and skincare products contain chemicals like retinol, glycolic acid, and niacinamide, which can harm young skin.These products can cause rashes, chemical burns, and even premature aging or scarring. 4. **Promote Healthy Skincare Habits**: Encourage a simple routine with a gentle cleanser twice a day and daily sunscreen use. Explain that extensive skincare routines are unnecessary and potentially [harmful for young skin.](https://apnews.com/article/influenced-skincare-routine-mental-health-f59bb09114ab93323e3a47197a1ad914) 5. **Address Underlying Anxiety**: This obsession often stems from anxiety about appearance and a desire to fit in. Have open conversations about these feelings and consider therapy. 6. **Set Boundaries on Social Media Use**: Implement rules on screen time and app access to help ease stress and anxiety related to appearance. 7. **Model Positive Behavior**: Be mindful of how you talk about your own appearance or others’. Your teen learns from your behavior, so model a healthy attitude towards skincare and appearance. Remember, it’s normal for teens to have some insecurities about their appearance. However, if you’re concerned that your teen’s skincare obsession is affecting their mental health, skin health, or daily functioning, don’t hesitate to seek help from a pediatrician, dermatologist, or mental health professional. By approaching this issue with understanding and open communication, you can help your teen develop a healthy relationship with skincare and, more importantly, with themselves. The goal is to protect both their physical skin health and their mental well-being during these crucial developmental years. If you think your teen could benefit from mental health therapy, we have a team of therapists who specialize in working with [teens ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/teens/)and their families. Reach out to learn more! **Categories:** Therapy for Teens **Tags:** current events, social media, teens, Tiktok trends, tweens --- ### [Dealing With Political Anxiety in an Election Year](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/23/dealing-with-political-anxiety-in-an-election-year/) **Published:** September 23, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Are you experiencing political anxiety? The current political climate continues to operate on very divisive terms, with parties appearing to be out to get each other. Each year, it feels like it’s becoming more intense and stressful rather than improving. Pretty much wherever you look nowadays, you’ll see something political: celebrities on social media, your uncle at the next family get-together, any channel on TV, or a flag on the neighbor’s house. It’s become hard to avoid. Many people have strong opinions on political issues, the candidates, and the direction they feel the country should go. ![brunette white woman nervously looking at laptop dealing with political anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/curly-girl-with-laptop-683x1024.jpg) No matter what your political views are, you may find yourself experiencing political anxiety due to the current state of affairs. With everything political swirling around you, you might be wondering how to find an escape from it. Here are some helpful tips: ## Understand Your Feelings with Political Content It might be helpful to ask yourself why you engage with political content in the first place. What is your goal? Is it to help make a decision on your voting selections? Is it to keep up to date with how changes will affect you? Do you want to be able to engage in conversation more effectively? Uncovering the reason why can help you connect more with your feelings and identify what might be triggering you. You should never feel guilty for admitting that you have anxious feelings surrounding an election year. ## Limit Social Media Keeping yourself informed is important for staying current on affairs and making intelligent decisions at the polls. However, it can be easy to become bombarded with misinformation, information overload, and a constant 24-hour reel of political talk. Not knowing what to believe or where to stop can fuel political stress and anxiety. There is a healthy way to consume news without avoiding it altogether. Social media platforms are one of the main culprits for stress and misinformation. Giving yourself a break from scrolling may be easier said than done, but it can be well worth it for your mental health and well-being. ## Practice Self-Care to Reduce Political Anxiety When your mind feels frazzled and your nerves feel shot from the uneasiness and uncertainty around politics, taking care of your basic needs becomes even more important. During this time, make a daily habit of practicing some form of self-care. Allow yourself to get the appropriate amount of sleep in a comfortable environment conducive to quality sleep. Make good food and drink choices to fuel your body with healthy nutrients. Exercise frequently to reduce stress and give yourself a natural mood boost. Schedule time for pampering yourself or spending quiet time with a good book. Make sure you’re doing things that fuel your soul to counterbalance the negativity that follows politics. ## Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness exercises are one of the best ways to reduce anxiety. Try out different options and see what works best for you. When political talk is taking over your mind, one of these might help. Walking and yoga are great physical activities that can help you recenter and refocus on the here and now. Breathing exercises and guided meditations can help calm your breathing and bring you some relief. If your anxiety feels pent up inside, try journaling to release those inner thoughts. ## Talk to a Professional to Reduce Political Anxiety When you’re dealing with political anxiety, these self-help tips may not be enough. You may need to get to the root of the problem to move forward. Working with a therapist is a great tool to help you do that. If your political anxiety is getting worse instead of better, check out our [therapists ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists)or contact us today to learn how we can help you. **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** anxiety, current events, political anxiety --- ### [How to Afford Therapy if Your Therapist Doesn't Take Insurance](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/09/22/therapy-for-women-center-faqs/) **Published:** September 22, 2020 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![therapists from therapy for women center in philadelphia who take insurance](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721441055625-1024x1024.jpg) Does Therapy for Women Center take insurance? How can I afford therapy if my therapist doesn’t take insurance? We answer below in addition to other important questions you may have. Contact us at info@threapyforwomencenter.com if you have more questions or check out our full [FAQ page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/rates-and-info) . Okay, let’s get into it… ## Does Therapy for Women Center Take Insurance? We do not take insurance directly but we do accept out-of-network benefits. So, if you have out-of-network benefits, you pay us upfront and we provide you with a statement to submit to your insurance for reimbursement. We do not take insurance. Insurance companies require us to diagnose, which can have a negative impact on your ability to get coverage in the future. They dictate how long therapy is. Often, they will only give people a few sessions of coverage and then the therapist has to fight the insurance company to get more sessions. An insurance company can look into your sessions and decide if you are making progress at a rate they are satisfied with or not. ## I have out of network benefits, how do I know how much money I will get back? Call your insurance company directly. Ask them if you have mental health benefits and if you have out-of-network benefits. Ask them what your deductible is. Some people have a very low deductible, other people have a $5,000 deductible. For example, you would have to pay $5,000 out of pocket on medical expenses BEFORE your insurance company would start reimbursing you. Ask your insurance company if they cover the code 90834 which is for a 50-minute psychotherapy session. ## How can I afford therapy? Therapy can be expensive. It really is an investment in yourself. There are three main tricks to get quality mental health treatment AND save some money. 1. Get reimbursed by your insurance company for sessions. 2. 2. Use an HSA (Health Savings Account) or FSA if you have one. We use them just like a standard credit card. 3. Asking for sliding scale availability. This is a discount off of a therapist’s standard rate. 4. Go to a practice with [Therapist Interns](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/10/01/everything-you-need-to-know-about-seeing-an-intern/), like us! ## I don’t live in the Philadelphia area, can you see me as a client? Yes! We currently serve many states across the country and have therapists licensed in different states. [Contact us ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact)to learn more about our current availability and see if we can work with you! **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Our Practice --- ### [How to Recover from Emotional Trauma: 5 Strategies](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/09/18/how-to-recover-from-emotional-trauma-5-strategies/) **Published:** September 18, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** There are many different forms of trauma that vary amongst individuals who experience it. Whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional trauma, it can leave invisible wounds that have significant impacts throughout your life. Yet, just as the human spirit is resilient, so too is the capacity for healing. With the right strategies and support, it’s possible to regain control of your life and find ways to move forward. ![woman staring out window struggling with emotional trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/depressed-woman-deep-thought-standing-near-window-683x1024.jpg)Depressed woman in deep thought standing near window at home ## 1. Acknowledge and Accept Emotional Trauma Many people who experience trauma try to minimize or deny the severity of what happened. This may be due to societal pressures, internal shame, or fear of acknowledging the truth. However, denying or suppressing feelings only delays healing. - **Self-Awareness:** Begin by allowing yourself to recognize the trauma and its impact on your life. This may involve reflecting on how the trauma affects your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Journaling can be a helpful tool during this process as it allows you to express your feelings in a private space. - **Acceptance:** Accepting the trauma does not mean condoning what happened. Rather, it means acknowledging that it is a part of your life story. Acceptance is crucial for moving forward. It allows you to stop fighting against the reality of the situation and start focusing on healing. ## 2. Build a Support Network Having a strong personal support network can make all the difference. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you and understand what you’re going through can make a significant impact on your recovery. - **Family and Friends:** Identity those in your life who are empathetic and supportive. Make sure they are individuals who can offer you emotional support when needed, listen without judgement, and provide comfort during difficult times. - **Setting Boundaries:** It’s important to set boundaries with people who may not be supportive or who may trigger your trauma. Protecting your emotional well-being should be a priority, and it’s okay to distance yourself from relationships that are not conducive to your healing. ## 3. Practice Self-Care and Mindfulness Emotional trauma often leaves individuals feeling disconnected from their bodies and minds. Practicing self-care and mindfulness can help you reconnect with yourself and find your inner peace. - **Physical Self-Care:** Taking care of your physical health is important for emotional recovery. It involves getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in physical activity. Any type of physical movement can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and improving mood. - **Mindfulness:** Engaging in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga can keep you grounded and lower anxiety levels. These practices encourage you to observe your thoughts and emotions while in a calm state of mind. ## 4. Develop Resilience Developing resilience can help you cope with future challenges and maintain emotional well-being. - **Setting Goals:** As you begin to heal, start setting small, achievable goals for yourself. These may be related to your career, personal growth, or relationships. Achieving these goals can help rebuild self-confidence and passion. - **Positive Affirmations:** Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Remind yourself that you are strong, capable, and deserving of happiness. Over time, these affirmations can help shift your mindset from one of fear of insecurity to one of hope and empowerment. ## 5. Seek Professional Support for Emotional Trauma Emotional trauma can be difficult to navigate alone. Seeking help from a mental health professional is often necessary for the healing process. - **Therapy:** Therapists trained in trauma-informed care can help you process your experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Different types of therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and [Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr "Services")(EMDR) are therapeutic interventions that have proven to be effective. - **Support Groups:** These foster a community and understanding among individuals who have undergone similar trauma. [Support groups](https://emotionsanonymous.org/find-an-ea-meeting/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw0aS3BhA3EiwAKaD2ZUfyXy4Z3Py_UCC3Vyu18sSSwhhGcJPLpVaffTyrFPKnkGE_S2gHuBoCL48QAvD_BwE) offer a space to share experiences and coping strategies with those who truly understand what you’re going through. You can overcome anything you put your mind to. Ready to overcome your trauma? Schedule a consultation with one of our therapists today. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** emotional trauma, mental trauma, trauma --- ### [How to Deal with Post-Wedding Blues or Depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/08/29/how-to-deal-with-post-wedding-blues-or-depression/) **Published:** August 29, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** For many, the experience of planning a wedding is filled with excitement, anticipation, and buildup. After months of planning, prepping, and decorating for your most magical day to finally pay off, you may find yourself asking, “what now?” If you’re feeling this way, you may be experiencing post-wedding blues. ![photo of Amanda White, the author on her wedding day. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Stills_by_Hernan_Mike_Amanda_Wedding_Main_1321-681x1024.jpg) I remember when I got married in 2019, it was one of the best days of my life. My wedding was everything I dreamed of, but then I came crashing down to reality. It felt disturbing and confusing that I was so depressed after marrying the love of my life. *What’s going on*, I thought. *Is there something wrong with me?* Absolutely not! In fact, it is quite normal for individuals to feel sad after their wedding day. Some even experience signs of clinical depression. It’s been weeks and months of choosing color partners, flower arrangements, dresses, jewels, catering, and being the center of attention. After one day, the energy shifts again to now paying bills, going back to work, and engaging in daily responsibilities. ## What Are Post-Wedding Blues? Post-wedding blues can happen to couples when they experience a period of letdown following the excitement of a wedding. It may seem counterintuitive that you feel down after what is considered the happiest days of your life. However, life is all about the ups and downs, especially after a major life event. Weddings are often a significant and meaningful experience, so when it is over, it seems that there is a lingering feeling of emptiness. ## Why Do Couples Experience Post-Wedding Blues? There are many different reasons why one may feel down after their big day. The time spent putting in work to create the most wonderful day can feel almost anticlimactic once it’s over. Weddings also bring people together. Family, friends, loved ones are all under one roof, supporting and celebrating you on this most joyous occasion. It’s possible that these get-togethers do not happen often, so in the moment, the rush of happiness is euphoric. However, once the day ends, you may normally crash when reality confronts you again. ## Signs of Post-Wedding Blues Not sure whether you’re experiencing post-wedding blues? Common feelings may look like: - Feelings of deep sadness - Disappointment - Loneliness - Fatigue - Sleep difficulties - Lack of focus - Not enjoying marital bliss ## How to Manage Post-Wedding Depression 1. **Make Plans to Look Forward to:** You just spent most of your time and energy planning for a wedding. Now you have the freedom to focus on other plans and activities that will give you a new sense of excitement. Planning something fun in the weeks that follow the wedding can help with feelings of sadness. Whether it’s the honeymoon, moving in together, or going on fun dates and starting projects, it’s important to create plans to look forward to as newly weds. 2. **Lean on Your Spouse:** Healthy communication is a pillar in a long-lasting marriage. Talk to your partner if you are feeling saddened by the ending of your big day. It is possible they are feeling the same way. This may be the first challenge you face together as a married couple. It is essential to ensure you can support one another in times of emotional distress. 3. **Define Family Relationships:** Some people experience the blues because they feel like they’re losing their family. Being married does not mean your family is lost. Instead, you are extending your own family. It just takes time to redefine the family lines and focus on connecting. 4. **Seek Marital Counseling:** Emotions can feel complex and draining. Experiencing them does not mean your relationship is failing, but it is also important to seek additional support. Counselors can help with processing the pain and provide helpful tips for you and your spouse to work through the post-wedding blues. Your feelings are valid and normal. At Therapy for Women Center, we specialize in working with women of all ages and life transitions. Remember, marrying someone creates a major life transition, even if it brings happiness. We would be honored to work with you. [Click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/womens-issues/) to learn more about our approach. **Categories:** Depression, Therapy for Women **Tags:** couples counseling, life transitions, marital counseling, post-wedding blues, post-wedding depression --- ### [The Happiness Trap : A Radical Way to Build Self Compassion](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2018/12/04/the-happiness-trap/) **Published:** December 4, 2018 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![bookshelf at Therapy for Women Center Old City | 325 Cherry St | Philadelphia, PA 19106](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/oc5-1024x683.jpg) #  What is the happiness trap? YOUR BRAIN IS NOT WIRED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED TO SURVIVE. Here’s the deal…. Our society teaches us that being happy all the time is “normal” and that should be our baseline. This is something called the “happiness trap” (coined by [Russ Harris](https://thehappinesstrap.com)). But this notion is radically incorrect. There is literally no survival value in being happy. You aren’t more likely to have kids if you’re happy. You aren’t even more likely to be successful if you’re happy. Sometimes our anxiety and fear can actually drive us to get things done. (Isn’t that crazy?!) And in evolutionary terms, all your brain cares about is surviving and reproducing so its genes can be passed on. ​So over the millions of years of evolution, the people that were careful, likely to hesitate when they saw something in the bushes were the ones more likely to SURVIVE. Even if they were only right 1% of the time, that gene got passed down and was compounded. # How This Impacts Us The more careful our ancestors were and the more they were driven to never be satisfied (more food, stronger shelters, more children) the more successful they and their genes were). Which is why all of us that exist at this moment in history are HARDWIRED to be careful. We come from a long lineage of ancestors who were careful and made calculated risks. Ancestors who constantly surveyed their surroundings to make sure they were safe, while also trying to get as many resources as possible. Fast forward to us living in a modern society and our “threats” are typically not life threatening. We no longer are in danger of being eaten by a bear, we are in danger of being called out at work, feeling rejected by friends or being ghosted by a partner. Now, being careful hurts us. Constantly worrying about outcomes that are not going to happen makes us less productive and happy. # No wonder so many of us have anxiety Unlike other animals, who can have a fear about something (say, a dog had a traumatic instance with almost drowning), we can literally imagine being around water and being scared 24 hours a day. A dog lives his life and doesn’t think about the traumatic incident unless he is immediately exposed to water. Through the part of our brain that developed to plan, reason and imagine, though this initially helped us survive, it now allows us to replay unhappy events all day long as if we are still in the situation! Again, no wonder so many of us struggle with feeling happy. I share this because important information about being happy because before I knew this, I would berate myself and get mad at myself for not being happy. I thought something was wrong with me and that I was a bad person because I had so much. You may feel this way too because of what our society teaches us. I’m here to set the record straight. # Concluding Thoughts You can be grateful and unhappy. Having everything you want doesn’t guarantee happiness. YOU CAN STILL FEEL LIKE YOU WANT MORE & THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. That’s just the way you were wired- your brain was wired to want more and not be satisfied, no matter what you have. You’re not ungrateful, you’re a human being! ​Once you learn about the happiness trap and the way your brain was wired, you can stop torturing yourself and start offering yourself compassion for the human being that you are. When you have this information, you gain the ability to stop the self-loathing, stop berating yourself and start acting differently. With this knowledge  you now have the power to stop listening to your thoughts and start choosing something different!   To learn more about this, [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) or [book an appointment.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** books, self compassion --- ### [New Year Resolutions From a Therapist's Perspective](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/01/22/new-year-goals-and-resolutions-from-a-therapists-perspective/) **Published:** January 22, 2024 **Author:** Sam Dalton, LCSW **Content:** If you are thinking about setting New Year’s Resolutions, keep reading for some tips on how to make them work for you! As a therapist, the new year has become an interesting moment of both observation and reflection. In my observation, social media platforms become filled with a flurry of posts either being pro-resolutions or anti-resolutions. There is about a three week period between December and January where everyone is trying to convince everyone else that their approach is best. Then, by January people seem to already move on from resolutions. It’s a mind bending and confusing few weeks. ![pair of champagne glasses clinking for new years resolutions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721435362361.jpg) ## Important New Years Resolution Ideas to Keep in Mind –**Goals do not have a required start date.** –**Your goals do not have to be deemed ‘worthy’ by anyone other than you.** –**You are allowed to stay exactly as you are and exactly where you are if you are feeling content.** –**Goals can be important as they give us something to strive towards, and they are not a fix all.** –**The goal itself doesn’t do the work, you do.** If you are reflecting on what this year is going to bring and where you will be come January 2025, the last point above is the key. The key being a unique question that isn’t often acknowledged in the flurry of social media posts. The question to ask in regards to your goals is not ‘what should my goals be?’, but instead focusing on ‘how much work am I feeling capable of putting in towards my goals?’ I call this doing a start of the year energy assessment. Rather than starting with a list of goals, start by thinking about how you are doing. Assess where you are emotionally, mentally, and physically as the year begins. ## Questions to ask yourself… –**How am I feeling as the year is getting started?** –**Looking ahead at the year, what level of energy will I have to give towards what I want to work on?** –**Did last year drain me, and if so, how can I heal from that this year?** –**Where would I like to be at the end of this year, and do I feel like that is a manageable place for me to get to in relation to where I am currently at in life?** –**How can I better take care of myself this year?** These questions are not focused on end goals. They are focused on meeting you where you are at, which is what will set you up for success. If you are recovering from physical health issues, maybe 2024 isn’t the year of running a marathon. Instead, you could focus on building strength at a rate that is manageable. ## Final Thoughts If you are recovering from grief, maybe 2024 isn’t a year where we’re focused on achievement, but instead focused on finding peace and calm. Likewise, if 2023 was the year of recuperating, maybe 2024 is the year of achievement. We set our goals and dreams up for success when we give ourselves grace for where our energy is. Choose to operate from what your current situation is, instead of where you wish you were. As we are about to get into February, I encourage you to spend some time giving yourself an energy assessment for the year. Think about your intention behind your goals before setting them. This will set you up for success. You deserve the chance to meet yourself where you’re at from a place of love and caring, rather than regret and frustration. Happy New Year, friend! To get tailored support in setting your goals,[ book an appointment](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) or [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact)! **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** current events, goal setting --- ### [How To: Tame the Worry Wart in your Head!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2019/05/30/how-to-tame-the-worry-wart-in-your-head/) **Published:** May 30, 2019 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Worrying is sneaky! It tells us that if we plan out all the ways something will go wrong, we will be more “prepared”. Worrying tells us that planning for negative outcomes is sensible because it shields us from being “blind sighted”. The TRUTH is worry is in bed with ANXIETY. We may feel better temporarily from worrying about things, but we are always left with more anxiety, sadness and WORRIES after! ![woman with head in hands worrying](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/pexels-liza-summer-6382633-683x1024.jpg) Worrying is addictive. The more you worry, the more your brain gets stuck in the habit of worrying. And the more you worry about one area of your life, the more it spreads to worrying about other areas. Worrying makes you more likely to doubt yourself, which erodes your self esteem over time. It can also impact your memory, because when you are constantly worrying you aren’t present to what’s currently going on in your life. It can rob you of the joy you do have! Is it possible to NEVER worry? Absolutely not! But we can stop engaging with the worry wart in our head. We can tell them to go away and ignore them, which reduces their power. The most effective way to stop worrying is to STOP FIGHTING YOUR WORRIES! Instead, notice them and practice mindfulness. Get curious about your thoughts and worries and write them down if you feel like they are dominating you. Worrying unchecked causes anxiety. The key to noticing them is also not feeding in to them, do not google statistics or add any more ammunition to the worries. Allow yourself to feel the fear in your body, when you use mindfulness skills and put your attention on the sensation in your body, the feeling eventually dissipates. Practice grounding skills and self soothing skills when the sensation becomes too intense. ## Journal Prompts 1. How does the worry feel in my body? (Get specific, where is it located, what is the sensation, is there a color associated with it? 2. Does this worry have any basis in facts? (For example, if you are worried about your partner cheating, have you been cheated on? If yes, use this as an invitation to explore your unresolved feelings about being cheated on or hurt in the past.) 3. How may my worries be an invitation to grow personally? 4. What would it be like to give up this worry? 5.  Is there anything I can take responsibility for in this situation? – Is there anything I need from others in my life or boundaries I can set that would decrease my worries? I hope this information about worrying makes a difference for you! With grace, Amanda To learn more,[ contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) or [book an appointment](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started). **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** burnout, worry --- ### [What Is EMDR And Why You Should Try This Powerful Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/03/02/emdr-explained/) **Published:** March 2, 2020 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** If you have trauma, you may have heard of EMDR, a powerful alternative to talk therapy that licensed therapists have been using for decades. But what is EMDR therapy? In this blog we are going to answer that question and explain how it helps. If you have ever experienced a traumatic event you know that it can change you. Trauma, while somewhat elusive and difficult to define, is visceral. Trauma is not only a psychological response to past threats it is also very PHYSICAL. It lives in our bodies and in our nervous systems. Trauma takes up mental and emotional space. It can wear on our personal relationships. It takes away from our ability to be fully present in the here and now. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721442282367.jpg) --- While traditional talk therapy is an important piece of trauma work and lays the foundation for change and relationship building, it can only go so far. I found myself frustrated at the roadblocks I would encounter with clients who had a trauma history. I made the commitment to learn as much as I could about trauma recovery. It was through this process that I discovered EMDR. ## What Is EMDR? EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is an evidenced based, holistic approach to trauma treatment. It works by desensitizing and neutralizing painful traumatic memories by using bilateral (left to right) eye movements. Other types of bilateral stimulation can be used such as tapping. During an EMDR session. I help my client identify a traumatic memory they would like to process. Together we identify the image attached to the memory, body sensations that arise when this memory is recalled, negative beliefs the client has about themselves due to the memory, and how disturbing it feels now. We then start the process of weaving in and out of eye movements and brief talking or “checking in.” EMDR is different than typical therapy in that it is methodical and there is a lot less talking. While the science behind why EMDR works isn’t entirely clear cut, I’ve outlined a few commonly accepted theories. ## Why EMDR Therapy Works 1. Our brains WANT to heal themselves they just don’t know how. EMDR allows us to get out of our own way enough for our brains to heal themselves and create new neural pathways. 2. The eye movements done in this process mimic the eye movements that occur during REM sleep cycles, which is when we process events that have happened during the day. 3. EMDR allows us to INTEGRATE traumatic material. When we have a traumatic experience(s) we do not integrate the memories like we do with everyday events. These memories get frozen in time and cause us to struggle with flashbacks, nightmares, being in a state of fight/flight/freeze, feeling unsafe, etc. 4. EMDR allows us to be an observer of our traumatic event instead of reliving the event like when we do in a flashback. By being an observer of our trauma we can create new interpretations and beliefs about ourselves. 5. It puts us in touch with where trauma is stored in our body and allows us to self-regulate. 6. EMDR allows for an energetic and emotional release that cannot be accessed through talk therapy. ### If I haven’t made it clear yet I’m a big fan of EMDR.  This type of therapy may be right for you if you have experienced trauma and feel that it interferes with your ability to be present, the way you feel about yourself, or your relationships with others. This type of therapy works if you experience flashbacks, hypervigilance, nightmares, or anxiety/depression regarding your trauma. EMDR is a safe, effective method that should only be done by a trained professional. If you are struggling with past painful memories, I hope that this information is helpful to you. If you have tried other methods and not seen results, consider that EMDR may be a good fit. Learn more by [contacting us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) or [booking an appointment. ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started) **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** alternative therapy, bilateral stimulation, EMDR, PTSD, Therapy Modalities --- ### [How to Be a Better Ally](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/06/01/ally-how-to-be-a-better/) **Published:** June 1, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Want to be a better ally but unsure where to start? Here are some of our best tips! ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721437351862.jpg) ## How to be an ally: ### Know the terminology. Language and culture are dynamic, and the queer community reflects these shifts. Take the word “queer,” for example. Once thought of as derogatory slang, most folks now embrace queer as a reclaimed representation of the LGBTQ+ community. Using the correct terminology acknowledges and affirms authentic identity because it confers acceptance, support, and validates being. Outdated terms and phrases include transvestite, hermaphrodite, homosexual, and sex change, while modern terms include transgender, intersex, gay and gender affirming surgery. [GLAAD](https://www.glaad.org/reference/terms) is a great resource for up-to-date terms. ### Check implicit bias. Implicit bias is related to thoughts we have that are counter to our vocalized beliefs. For example, you may catch yourself thinking “that’s so gay” when you see someone that appears male dressed in feminine clothing. Behaviors that originate from implicit biases hurt members of the LGBTQ+ community, whether they are intentional or not. Stereotyping cis gender, heteronormative culture sends the message that any other representations are wrong, which leads to internalized trans/homophobia and creates a sense of shame. Everyone has internal bias. But the important thing to remember about being a good ally (and a better human being) is to challenge implicit biases and make sure your behaviors match your stated beliefs. ### Be a visible ally. LGBTQ+ folk are being targeted every day. According to [The Trevor Project](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/careers/), 78% of LGBTQ+ youth experience anxiety and 58% experience depression. Increasing numbers of laws are being passed that discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community, hate crimes are on the rise, and nearly half of the LGBTQ+ community considers suicide. Wear rainbow pins, tee shirts that affirm all identities, speak up against bigotry and use your social media platform to promote inclusivity! While these gestures may seem trite, [acknowledging the community](https://reports.hrc.org/being-an-lgbtq-ally?_ga=2.131502223.1698250541.1681337275-264641966.1681337274) can help instill hope and feelings of inclusion. To learn more about therapy for LGBTQ+ or set up an appointment with a therapist who specializes in this, click here! **Categories:** LGBTQ+ **Tags:** current events, Motherhood, Parenthood --- ### [How to Actually Engage in Self Care](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/01/13/what-self-care-really-means/) **Published:** January 13, 2020 **Author:** Stephanie King, LPC **Content:**   Self care is a buzz worthy topic these days. It’s all over instagram. But the truth is. it’s personal. It’s ever changing. It’s vital to managing stress and preventing burnout. AND -it’s not always easy. In fact, sometimes self care can be really difficult. The overall goal is figuring out what you need to implement into your daily life that will create a happier, healthier you. Below, I will explain the different types of self care and what that might look like for you. ![portrait of woman for post on different types of self care](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/pexels-tomaz-barcellos-999425-1987301-scaled.jpg) ## Here Are The Different Types of Self Care ### Emotional:  This involves exploring your emotions and learning how to navigate them. Learning how to set boundaries, practicing self compassion, and feeling emotions (rather than avoiding them) are all forms of emotional self care. - Saying “no” - Notice how emotions feel in your body - Use positive self talk - Be your own cheerleader - Sit with uncomfortable feelings ### Physical: Taking care of ourselves physically is essential to overall well being. I can 100% tell a difference in my mood when I’m not taking care of myself properly.  Physical self care is paying attention to what your body needs and what feels good. - Dancing - Eating a fulfilling meal - Drinking water throughout the day - Walking outside - Getting enough sleep - Stretching ### Psychological: Tuning into our thoughts, learning new things and practicing creativity aren’t often mentioned under the topic of self care. Think about how good it used to feel when you’d color or build something as a child. You were creating and learning and doing and it was FUN! These practices build self esteem which overall makes us feel better about ourselves! - Read a self explorative book - Journal - Go on a mindful walk - Learn a new skill - Host a craft night ### Social: One question I always ask clients is: “tell me a little bit about your support system.” This is because having social support(s) and a sense of belonging is so important to overall mental health. I joined a kickball team a few years ago and it’s been such a fun, positive experience for me despite it being out of my comfort zone. - Schedule a phone call with a long distance friend - Join an intramural sports team - Go for a walk with a family member - Ask a coworker out for coffee - Join an online group that caters to your particular interests ### Professional: This aspect of self care is essential because most people spend a lot of time at their jobs. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of meeting deadlines, working interpersonally, hitting quotas, etc. That’s why so many working professionals experience burnout. And as we know, consistently taking care of ourselves aids in preventing that. This type of self care also applies what we bring to the table professionally. It means highlighting our strengths and sharing our knowledge within the workplace. - Schedule stretching breaks - Set boundaries with coworkers - Eat a nourishing lunch - Attend professional development trainings - Be punctual (or early if you can) - Ask for help or clarification - Share your ideas with your team ### Financial: This is SO IMPORTANT! Financial stress is one of the worst types of stress in my opinion. The good news is, practicing financial self care can help manage that stress. It’s all about looking at your responsibilities and creating a plan to manage them. - Pay bills on time - Create (and stick to!) a budget - Eat meals at home - Cancel automatic subscriptions - Use public transit vs a ride share app - Unsubscribe from emails that promote shopping and entice with coupons ### Spiritual: Spiritual self care is a focus on what beliefs and values are most important to you and implementing that into your life on a regular basis. - Attend a religious gathering - Join a community group - Meditate - Take a nature walk - Volunteer - Practice tarot ### Environmental: LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I personally am NOT someone who can thrive in chaos. I need to de clutter regularly or I’ll lose it. And that’s just one aspect of environmental self care. It can also look like limiting technology or minimizing waste. Basically, it’s keeping your environment peaceful and calming for you. - Keep common spaces clutter free - Recycle - Limit time on social media - Tidy up regularly - Shop a thrift stores - Create a weekly cleaning schedule See, I told you self care was deeper than what we see on Instagram. It can be tough to set a boundary with a friend. It’s not glamorous to create a budget. And it can be difficult to admit fault or ask for help. But, these things, along with social outings, creativity, and exercise all contribute to a healthier, more satisfied self. After all, self care is literally caring for yourself – present and future. With Love, Stephanie **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** burnout, self care --- ### [Gender-Affirming Care: What Is It and Why Is It Important?](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/gender-affirming-care-what-is-it-and-why-is-it-important/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** In recent years, information about gender-affirming care has run rampant. As a newer medical approach, lots of misinformation has sparked controversy about this. Gender-affirming care is a comprehensive approach to healthcare that respects and supports an individual’s gender identity. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pexels-bertellifotografia-7510504-819x1024.jpg) This type of care involves a variety of medical, psychological, and social services designed to help transgender and nonbinary individuals transition into their authentic selves. ## What Is Gender-Affirming Care? Gender-affirming care encompasses a wide range of services and interventions. Every trans or nonbinary person is unique, with different needs and wants for their transition. The main positive of gender-affirming care is that it can be tailored to the individual. Some of these services may include: ### Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): This treatment is basically using hormones, such as estrogen or testosterone, to align an individual’s physical characteristics with their gender identity. For example, with transgender women, hormone replacement therapy may involve estrogen and anti-androgens (male sex hormones) to develop traditionally feminine features. For transgender men, similar concept, except they will take testosterone to develop traditionally masculine features. ### Surgical Interventions: Gender-affirmation surgery refers to procedures to help individuals transition to their gender. These can include chest surgery, genital surgery, and facial feminization or masculinization surgeries. Gender identity is the way you feel and present yourself to others. Part of this care is exploring options to make an individual feel comfortable in their own skin. To some, they want the surgical procedures to alter their appearances. ### Nonsurgical Intervention Options: Individuals may not want to take the surgical route for many reasons. There are nonsurgical options as well: - **Hormone Therapy:** developing masculine or feminine features by adding hormones - **Puberty Blockers:** delaying the development of secondary sex characteristics, such as facial structure, breast growth, and hair formation. - **Voice Therapy:** Teaches speaking and communication skills that aides with your gender identity. - **Laser Hair Removal:** Removing facial or body hair. There are also more steps than just medical transitioning. Expressing your gender may also include: - Changing your name - Using different pronouns (she/her, he/him, they/them, etc.). - Changing style, like hair, clothing, or makeup. ### Mental, Social, and Legal Support: Psychological services, such as therapy, are an essential component of gender-affirming care. Services like this can help individuals navigate the emotional aspects of their gender transition by addressing anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. Social support is helping the individual develop social skills, expressions for their gender identity, and how to feel comfortable coming out or fully evolving into their true self. Legal assistance is about name and gender changing on legal documents, if it is needed. ## Why Is Gender-Affirming Care Important? ### Mental Health and Well-Being The most important reason gender-affirming care is needed is because of its positive impact on mental health. Research shows that transgender and nonbinary individuals experience higher levels of anxiety and depression. This is due to the increased stress of transitioning, as well as fearing societal discrimination. Gender-affirming care can have significant improvements in mental well-being and overall happiness. ### Social Inclusion and Acceptance This type of support helps individuals come to terms with their gender identity and provides support for gender expression. This can make social interactions feel more comfortable and hopefully reduce the stigma and discrimination that transgender and nonbinary individuals face. ### Empowerment Gender-affirming care empowers people to make decisions about their bodies and lives based on their true selves. Autonomy is a fundamental human right, and individuals who struggle with their personal identity feel they cannot fully be themselves because of societal judgments and pressures. By providing access to this kind of care, healthcare systems can start to acknowledge and respect the identities of transgender and nonbinary individuals. If you or someone you know is struggling with gender identity, reach out to professional supports. At Therapy for Women, we are proud to provide gender affirming care. Reach out today to [learn more about our therapists](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) who [specialize in the LGBTQ+](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapists/?_specialty=lgbtq) population and get started! **Categories:** LGBTQ+ **Tags:** gender affirming care, teen therapy, teens --- ### [How to Overcome Stigma, Reclaim Pleasure and Use Toys with Partners](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/03/28/using-sex-toys-with-partners/) **Published:** March 28, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721438234555.jpg) I remember the first time I used sex toys in front of a partner. I’d been using an old back massager since I was about 12 years old, discovering pretty young that it felt good (probably thanks to blurry images of the Spice channel I’d sneakily watched after begging to stay home from school). It was my junior year of undergrad, and I’d been sleeping with the same guy for a while. He was curious about exploring sex and this was the first time I’d ever allowed someone to watch me masturbate. I can still remember the shame I felt afterward, the embarrassment, and the worry that I would scare him off. While he and I were toxic for many reasons, showing him how I liked to get off opened a door for us. We started dipping our toes into kink, consensual non-consent, and discussions about what turned us on. It was the first time I was able to have these conversations with someone without feeling like something was wrong with me. After going to a Catholic college, while it was more liberal and progressive than most, I still often felt like I was walking around with a scarlet letter pinned to my chest. I wanted to “take back” the word slut. These were MY choices and if I stepped into the role, nobody could hurt me. While it took a few years and several therapists to understand that I was still seeking external validation that I was desirable and “good enough,” this was the first time that sex was actually fun for me. I wasn’t just trying to please someone else; I was experiencing mutual pleasure for the first time in my life. ## A later boyfriend scoffed when I asked to use sex toys together. He couldn’t understand why I would need a vibrator or a dildo when he was right there, willing and ready. I didn’t have the knowledge or language to explain why I wanted to incorporate toys. And I again felt shamed into believing that something was wrong with me if I had better orgasms on my own. There was a part of me that was cloaked in darkness, hiding itself, afraid to be seen and judged. This part of me wasn’t new. It had been with me for a long time, coming out to remind me to make myself smaller, take up less space, be less weird, be quieter. This part of me was full of the universal human experience of shame. Every week, someone comes into my office fearing they are the only ones who experience this feeling, not realizing that we are [biologically wired to feel shame](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-scientific-underpinnings-and-impacts-of-shame/). If it’s so universal, how do we overcome the crushing weight of it all? The first step is to talk about it. Talking about shame takes its power away. When someone else can see your shame and accept you despite it, the shame begins to shrink, little by little. This is why talking to a therapist is different from talking to a friend. We are trained to see your shame without judgment, and to help you step into the light. ## The type of men who feel intimidated by sex toys don’t tend to be the most educated around sex and pleasure. I’m going to make a generalization here, but men in this area tend to have a black-and-white view of gender roles. They, too, have been victims of the patriarchal constraints of expectations and pressure. The same ones I yell about on Instagram. But if a vibrator intimidates a man, his ego is more important than your pleasure, full stop. I wish I could walk around with a sign that reads, “Toys are your teammates, not your opponent.” The idea that sex toys are a replacement for a partner or only for couples struggling with sex is false, heteronormative, and ableist. Queer relationships tend to have higher levels of sexual satisfaction than cishet relationships for many reasons. But, one factor I’d like to point out is the toxic masculinity that seeps its way into cishet relationships. As humans, we all have egos. But the cultural lens of “what a man should be like” is deeply ingrained into our relationships and, therefore, our sex lives. I see this interfering with sexual performance all the time, and often, that’s what it is for men: a performance. If a machine “replaces” their chance to demonstrate their worth as a man, what does that mean for them? ## Initially, back in the 1880s, vibrators were “marital aids.” They were used on women labeled with “[hysteria](https://www.vice.com/en/article/paeb9k/doctors-created-vibrators-after-growing-tired-of-masturbating-hysterical-women),” a medical diagnosis exclusive to women suffering from a wide array of symptoms, including sexual desire and a “tendency to cause trouble.” It wasn’t until the 1970’s that vibrators became a symbol of empowerment for women, taking back what should have always been ours–our pleasure. Now, when my clients or girlfriends mention interest in toys but worry that their cisgender male partners will feel some type of way about it, I’m excited to discuss all of the opportunities sex toys bring into relationships. Toys allow us to slow down and truly enjoy pleasing our partners instead of “getting in and out” or checking a box to show we’ve fulfilled a relationship duty. Sex toys can act as a gateway to more profound pleasure and intimacy. They facilitate more communication around needs, desires, and preferences, or even things you’d rather NOT incorporate into your sex life. I cannot stress how important communication is when it comes to sex and pleasure. Even opening a path to discussing new ways to please each other can lead to deeper conversations and connections. ## P.S. One of my favorite dates to assign to couples… is exploring a sex shop or visiting an online store together. I ask them to learn what types of toys exist and note what sparks their interest. Even TARGET is carrying sex toys now! Here are some of my favorite places: **In the Philadelphia area:** The Velvet Lily, Pleasure Chest, Passional Boutique & Sexploratorium, Spice2Nite **Online**: Dame, Bellesa, We-Vibe, Lelo, Lovehoney, Good Vibrations, Babeland, The Natural Love Company, Betty’s Toy Box Please make sure to do your research on body-safe materials and purchase quality toys. Check out [this article](https://www.bboutique.co/blog/1135/body-safe-sex-toys-how-to-choose-body-safe-materials) from Bellesa Boutique to get started! --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** sex therapist, sex Therapy --- ### [You Deserve Pleasure: Virginity is a Social Construct](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/04/20/virginity-is-a-social-construct/) **Published:** April 20, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721438006762.jpg) *For the sake of this post, I am discussing the heteronormative, penis-vagina intercourse ideology of virginity and sex.* Lately, with many of my clients, I’ve been relating experiences to my favorite problematic structure, [The Patriarchy](https://www.thoughtco.com/patriarchal-society-feminism-definition-3528978). I’ve referred to it as my party trick or my version of “Six degrees of separation to Kevin Bacon” because I can always find a way to link the flaws of our society to The Patriarchy. ## It’s worth saying again: virginity is a social construct. Cue the eye rolls, the “radical feminist” sneers, and the jokes. I get it. But for real, it is, just as gender is a social construct. So, what does “social construct” mean? It’s something we’ve made up. It isn’t tangible– it’s a story or an idea created by society. Social structures are how humans make sense of our existence. The idea of virginity dates back to a primitive era when paternity was essential to maintaining control and ownership of land. This ownership meant ownership of women, and in order to ensure one had ownership, one needed control. And to control, there also had to be fear of consequence. The policing of women’s bodies further intensified when Mariology emerged (the study of Mary, Mother of Jesus, the Blessed Mother, and The Virgin Mary, the most revered feminine figure in Christianity, particularly Catholicism). ## Historically, virginity made girls more valuable. Potential husbands would pay more to fathers of girls and women who remained pure, linking their worth to monetary gain. The link to worth remains in the present day. As we grow up, we learn about virginity as something that you lose. There’s a piece of you that belongs to someone else forever. And, you can never have that piece of you back. However, remaining a virgin makes you worthy, desirable, and good. If you’re not good, you’re bad. A chewed-up piece of gum, an old sock, and a piece of food passed around the room. Who wants to eat the food after everyone’s touched it? On the even more extreme side of honor and expectation, girls and women are still killed or mutilated to pay for the sins they’ve committed for not remaining pure. We are told abstinence is the only path to take if one wants to be wanted and loved. ## Boys learn that virginity is something they take. Jessica Valenti writes in her book, *[The Purity Myth](https://www.jessicavalenti.com/the-purity-myth)*, we are into “idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality.” For those who have not grown up in religious purity culture (virginity balls, engagements to fathers as a promise of saving oneself for marriage), you’re either a virgin or a slut. Oh, and if you ENJOY sex and find PLEASURE in it (a human right), you’re definitely a slut. To be a slut means you have no morality and no self-respect. And, you’re dangerous because others can’t control you. This is why women, who for centuries have been shamed into being ‘good’ and ‘pure,’ have been taught to fear sex. Because who doesn’t like dangerous women? The Patriarchy. For generations we have learned to look a certain way and act a certain way, because if a man doesn’t want you? You’re worth nothing. If we only knew how good pleasure could be, the opportunities we could have, and the people we could experience. Instead, we are stripped of our rights, and our bodies are policed and exploited. ## I encourage my clients to take back the pleasure they deserve. Much of this work looks like breaking down old scripts and discussing what we would prefer our sexual experiences to look like. This might begin with talking about our bodies, relationships, beliefs, fears, and desires. But all of it includes exploration and the understanding that we belong to ourselves and ourselves only. This means we cannot lose a part of ourselves to anyone when we are all worthy of experiencing pleasure and connection. --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment)* or contact us. **Categories:** Therapy for Women, Trauma **Tags:** sex therapist, sex Therapy --- ### [Our Best Tips for Working from Home](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/12/21/work-from-home-tips-and-tricks/) **Published:** December 21, 2020 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![A woman is drinking hot chocolate and working from home on her laptop ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/IMG_0015.jpg) Is anyone else getting tired of working from home? Don’t get us wrong, we’re beyond grateful and privileged to have the opportunity to work from home, but we also know the how difficult it can be. That first couple of weeks in March where working from home was a novelty seemed like a dream… but now that we’re heading into the holiday season, we’re all a little (maybe more than a little) drained from staring at screens all day and working where we eat and sleep. ## Our Best Work from Home Tips 1. Find ways to transition in and out of your work day. If you’re used to a commute, your adjustment period may be gone. Doing things to ease in and out of your day that symbolize you’re “going to work” or “coming home.” Leaving to go outside your front door & coming back inside – like you’re leaving for work (trust us on this one!) 2\. Keep a calm space- organized, clean, with a candle lit and a huge water bottle nearby! 3\. Schedule breaks and lunch and take them **away** from your work area. (It’s also nice to schedule breaks with coworkers/friends and talk about other things besides work!) 4\. Create your own space. Even if it’s a small space in your home. 5\. Having a comfortable desk or chair etc. makes a huge difference. 6\. If your job relies on internet connectivity it can be worth it to spend extra money to get a signal booster– It makes a big difference in reducing our own anxiety about internet connectivity 7\. Get dressed! Even though they can’t see your pants wearing pajamas every day isn’t good for the spirit 8\. Still get up early enough to have a morning routine and have breakfast. It’s easy to just roll out of bed and turn on the computer, but get up and give yourself time to ease into the day. 9\. Movement… this one is so important! Many of us went from walking to work, walking around at work, or even just standing more, to being completely sedentary. Get some movement in, even if it’s just a walk around the block or some gentle stretches. ## Concluding Thoughts We hope these work from home tips help you like they’ve helped us. When in doubt, remember these are unprecedented times and you are doing the best you can. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself and others grace and compassion. If you have any other tips or tricks, let us know in the comments below! To learn more,[ contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) or [book an appointment ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)with one of our therapists. **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** boundaries, current events, self care --- ### [How to Survive Hot Girl Summer If You Struggle with Body Image](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/07/15/your-body-image-and-hot-girl-summer/) **Published:** July 15, 2021 **Author:** Erika Pranzo, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/TFWC_Interior-Exterior-20-894x1024.jpg) Summer is often a major source of anxiety for many women. Research by Kite (2019) found that many women completely avoid social activities because of anxiety regarding how their bodies look in vulnerable clothing. Over the centuries, women have received pressure to maintain a certain beauty/ body standard through nearly every avenue of media. However, these standards change almost every decade. From pencil eyebrows, flat bums, and large chests in the 90’s to basically the exact opposite in the 2000’s, how can we really say what beauty is and isn’t? Recent years have taken strides in the direction of inclusivity of body diversity. Many companies, worldwide, are including women of different sizes and races. Still, many times these women in larger bodies shown in media have a certain shape to their body, implying that we still have a way to go. Many of us know that things like Airbrush and cosmetic surgeries exist. But, we still get caught in the cycle of comparing and self-criticism. This may be because objectification is still so deeply entangled in society’s norms. ## Now flash forward to 2021, where the hashtag #HotGirlSummer fills social media. In 2019, this term Hot Girl Summer was born and it became a movement that has empowered many women. The phrase often preaches to enjoy time with yourself and your friends, doing what you want without judgement. However, I have noticed that issues like self-criticism, competition, and self-destructive behaviors still seem prevalent among many friends and clients. So, I created an Instagram poll to see how people are feeling about body image anxiety this summer. This poll detected 79% of participants, those of which did not exclude any gender identities, answered that Hot Girl Summer provokes body image anxiety for them. If Hot Girl Summer is supposed to be an empowering term, why is it still causing so much anxiety? Likely because the first word in the phrase is Hot. ## This leads me to wonder: what are we defining as hot, and why? While society’s body standards have changed throughout centuries, people’s main goals beyond the external world have remained fairly constant. People want to be happy and content and to feel empowered. Maybe hot girl summer is not about how your body looks, but it is how you feel, what you do and the overall energy you cultivate. --- *Erika specializes in anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and grief. To learn more about Erika, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erika-pranzo-lpc).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Eating Disorders, Therapy for Women **Tags:** Body image, current events --- ### [How to Spend Time with Self Love](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/02/10/how-to-spend-time-with-self-love/) **Published:** February 10, 2022 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** ![](blob:https://therapyforwomencenter.com/3b80a62e-5d83-46d7-9b9c-71ca461aa858) There is a terrible cliche that goes: “you cannot love someone else until you can love yourself”. Over the years, there have been so many interpretations based on the original quote that have strayed far from the truth. Most of the time people misinterpret that you must love yourself fully before you can give love. It is dated, unfair, and it is time for a change! Let’s switch it up: “you can love yourself”. This Valentine’s Day, let’s dive into self-love! At every intake my clients hear my golden Becca rule: be nice to yourself! I believe it is a radical act of social justice to stand up against society’s ideals. We can love the things that don’t make us “Instagramable” or “picture perfect” by social media standards. Society tells us that self-love is selfish or self indulgent; that loving yourself is something reserved for influencers and models. The only way we can “deserve” such love and praise is to be perfect. But fun fact, we get to define what it means to be perfect! Self-love starts with self kindness and learning to radically accept yourself for the things you especially don’t like. Take a second to think about it, is there a reason you don’t like a certain part of you? If you answered “it’s because X is bad because Y says so”, you’ve probably fallen into the social media trap that we can only be valued by comparison. It becomes a slippery slope when we only value things based on others opinions. We need to first establish a sense of self that is rooted in love and compassion. ## There are many different ways to begin implementing self-love into your life. Try one of these! **H** – Hear these words: you are enough. Now your turn! Stand in front of a mirror and say these to yourself, out loud. “I Am Enough”. **E** – Eat those Valentine’s treats! We don’t need to harbor guilt for the cute heart shaped cupcake we had. **A** – Appreciate the things you don’t like. It might feel weird to start telling the things you don’t like that you love it, so begin with appreciation. We can take a tip from the body positivity movement and appreciate how our body functions for us. For example, we may hate the cellulite on our thighs, but we can begin to appreciate our skin’s elasticity and how it grows with us. If this does not feel helpful, you can try [body neutrality](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/body-positivity-vs-body-neutrality/). Ex: My body is my body and that is not important to who I am. **R** – Rest more. Another myth to debunk? That productivity and relaxation are correlated. While things like cleaning and organizing might feel good to some, it is okay if for others the most restorative practices are watching TV on the couch. Listen to your body and take breaks when you want and need to. **T** – Talk to someone! We sometimes feel alone in our struggles, but relating to a friend on these common human experiences is a helpful practice in self compassion. The more we extend kindness to their pain, the more we can give it to ourselves. Hopefully these ideas can help you begin to bridge the gap between self kindness and self concept! Allow yourself to extend some kindness you would towards a friend to yourself. Remember at the end of the day, you can love yourself by giving the same love you would give someone else. --- *Becca specializes in anxiety, depression, adolescents, OCD, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Becca, read her bio[ here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/becca-adleberg-m-ed).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** burnout, self care, self love --- ### [Accepting My Queerness: Bisexual Awareness Week](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/09/21/accepting-my-queerness-bisexual-awareness-week/) **Published:** September 21, 2022 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721439677748-1024x1024.jpg) It’s been almost a year since I decided to get bangs. My esthetician told me I could rock a shag, a look I thought I couldn’t pull off because I wasn’t gay enough or cool enough. I’d be a poser. People would talk about me and say I look bad. My whole life had been dictated by being liked, well-received, and good. I was a rule follower and highly motivated by accomplishment and praise. I wanted others to see and acknowledge me. But, I grew tired of being afraid of what people would say or think. So I got bangs. I also weighed myself for the last time, something I’d been doing obsessively for as long as I can remember. ## Many things led to a deeper exploration and expression of my bisexual identity, but the bangs were important. I’ve heard that your twenties are for making mistakes and learning, while your thirties are when you start to enjoy life. While my thirties have started tumultuously, given the pandemic, climate change, and the fact that I live in my childhood home with my parents and husband, it’s surprisingly been true. Sexuality has always been something people identified with me- sometimes in a positive way, but the negatives stood out. When I entered grad school in a human sexuality program, I felt like an imposter. Yes, imposter syndrome is common amongst grad students, but it was more profound. I felt like I didn’t belong because I wasn’t smart enough. I suddenly felt like I knew nothing about the human sexual experience. And, I realized my mind wasn’t as open as I had always believed because I hadn’t asked enough questions or explored enough about myself. Talking to people is such an essential piece of my life that I had to become a better communicator. To become a better communicator, I had to begin questioning myself. How do I show up in my relationships? How do I communicate my needs? I wanted to be able to help others learn to do these things as a therapist, but I also had to work really hard. It took cutting off a toxic relationship and leaving a toxic job to start showing up the way I wanted to in life. ## So, I began conversations about what it means to be a human. I realized how individualized the human experience is. Working at Trader Joe’s, I met many queer friends who validated my feelings around my identity and how I saw myself. But I still didn’t feel comfortable identifying as a queer person until after I became a therapist. Bangs were a crucial moment in my life because it felt like I was finally stepping into myself, my style, my expression, and my sexuality. I stopped wearing as much makeup when I didn’t feel like it. I began to wear whatever I wanted, exploring a more masculine side of my personal style. And I started saying what was on my mind. ## I began posting on social media again without fear. After years of being shamed for oversharing, attention seeking, and being authentically myself, I began posting on social media again without fear. I love connecting with people. I love speaking out about being a highly sensitive person who cares a lot about a lot of stuff. I’m someone who has a story for any topic. Being a therapist, helping my clients question the systems, their relationships, and how they communicate their needs and desires has helped me do the same for myself. Finally, I’m surrounding myself with people who truly honor the same values and beliefs, question things, and show up as their authentic selves. That is how I can continue showing up and being the authentic version of Melanie I’ve always wanted to be. ## Most importantly, I stopped apologizing for being myself. I started openly identifying as queer. I’m lucky that I was raised to be accepting of others and grew up with an open mind regarding sexuality. I think that’s why it was so confusing for me to realize in my late twenties that I wasn’t straight or an ally–I was bisexual, and I always have been. Bi-erasure existed in my world in ways that I wasn’t even aware of. I thought it was 50/50, and I’d never dated anyone who wasn’t a man, so how could I ever take on this identity? Especially an identity often presented as being confused? Accepting my queerness has allowed me to flourish in ways I never imagined. I hope to continue making this world more comfortable and safe for others to explore themselves. I see you and acknowledge you. For more information about #BiWeek and other resources, check out the [Bisexual Resource Center](https://biresource.org/). --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** LGBTQ+ **Tags:** bisexuality, sex Therapy --- ### [Nurturing Mental Health with Yoga](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/01/19/nurturing-mental-health-with-yoga/) **Published:** January 19, 2023 **Author:** Erika Pranzo, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721438794827.jpg) *“Fake it til you make it,” “sleep when you’re dead,” “power through it.”* Growing up in the competitive dance world, phrases like these were the only ones I knew. That’s why, when I first stepped onto a yoga mat in early adulthood, the instructor’s words struck me. *“just being here is enough.”* Society often normalizes or even praises competitive attitudes. But criticism, comparison, and negative inner dialogue are some of the most common issues that accompany the two most common mental health disorders: anxiety and depression. ## Yoga has a different perspective to offer – what yoga for mental health can do The physical benefits of yoga, such as releasing mood-boosting hormones like serotonin and dopamine, are relatively well-known. But yoga has also been scientifically proven to nurture symptoms of depression, anxiety, and insomnia. And here’s how… Establishing a regular yoga practice can teach you to be an observer. This is because it helps you learn to notice physical sensations and thoughts that come up without judging yourself. As a result, yoga helps build the self-awareness needed to notice when your body feels different, which can uncover early signs of anxiety, depression, or insomnia. ## Enhancing your mind-body connection increases your ability to self-regulate. By engaging your mind AND your body, and enhancing your mind-body connection, yoga increases your ability to **self-regulate**. This ultimately allows you to create a safe space for processing and healing, which is where the cognitive processing piece comes in! Without the proper tools to help process stress, you may struggle with emotions or behaviors as a result, such as oversleeping, increased conflict with others, and social withdrawal, etc., which can impact your mental health. Yoga theory has allowed me to challenge my own limiting thoughts and beliefs, many of which I had held onto for over two decades. I encourage others to learn healthy cognitive processing methods rooted in self-regulation, which can lead to better outcomes, such as learning to soothe your nervous system or practicing boundaries. *Erika is a virtual therapist at Therapy for Women. To learn more about Erika, or read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erika-pranzo-lpc).* **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** burnout, stress relief, yoga --- ### [How to Survive Parenthood in the Pandemic](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/02/08/pandemic-parenting/) **Published:** February 8, 2023 **Author:** Leah Wright, LCSW **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721438628870.jpg) The past two-and-a-half years have been an interesting journey for all of us. Our world shifted dramatically in March 2020, and we had to adjust to new norms beyond our control. If motherhood was also part of your equation, pandemic parenting probably felt (and may still feel) even more isolating, scary, and overwhelming. It definitely was for me! At the onset of the pandemic, I was three months postpartum and had just discovered I was pregnant with my second child. So many thoughts flooded my mind. I wondered how I could keep my kids safe from this new virus. AND I worried about how I would manage my mental well-being in quarantine…with a newborn…while I was also coping with the unpleasant symptoms of my first trimester. I was finally feeling like myself again after experiencing postpartum depression and was ready to accept help from extended family during my second pregnancy. I was excited to take my daughter to playgroups in the neighborhood and find ways to meet other new moms. And now, none of that was possible, which was scary for me. The lack of normalcy turned into guilt. I worried for my baby, who could not experience new things. I feared she would fall behind developmentally. We coped by taking long walks around the neighborhood, having outdoor visits with family, and even trying a virtual baby music class. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things as normal as possible for my baby. Although on the outside, people told me I was doing my best, internally, I was struggling and felt completely isolated. In December 2020, my second baby was born. By this time, I was exhausted from constantly trying to entertain my daughter while working from home. The pandemic dragged on. Then I began feeling conflicted, because I wanted my kids to be outside as the world started to open up a bit, but I was also terrified of them getting sick since they couldn’t get vaccinated yet. If any of this sounds familiar, here are my reminders for pandemic parenting… ## You are not alone. Studies have shown that [1 in 5 birthing people](https://www.health.state.mn.us/people/womeninfants/pmad/index.html#:~:text=In%20the%20US%2C%20one%20in,of%20depression%20after%20giving%20birth.) and [1 in 10 fathers](https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/help-for-dads/#:~:text=One%20in%20ten%20dads%20gets,or%20the%20first%20year%20postpartum.) will experience a postpartum mood disorder. Since the pandemic, the numbers have understandably increased. Pandemic parenting can feel lonely, especially during such a difficult time, and finding ways to care for yourself may feel much more challenging, too. Connecting with other parents who are raising children around the same age as yours is one way to cope with this. Other parents, more likely than not, can empathize with what you are going through. And don’t forget to lean on your support network when you can! There is no shame in asking for help. ## It’s ok if you’re still struggling. Many people have stopped wearing masks and may feel safe in crowds again. There may be a lot of pressure to return to the way things were pre-pandemic. But your personal fears are valid, and it’s OK if you are still struggling in the ‘post-pandemic’ world. There is much more to consider now that we didn’t have to think about before. It can be scary to introduce your child to the outside world again for fear of them getting sick or facing a new variant. Building a new normal for your children can be overwhelming and comes with its own challenges. Above all, it’s important to remember to do what is best for you and your family. Be true to your family’s needs, and when it feels possible, try practicing gratitude. You’ve made it this far, and no matter the circumstances, you are making special memories with your children. ## There is no correct way to parent. Everyone will always have their own way of doing things. Adjusting to parenthood is complicated during the best of times, let alone right now! So it is important to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to let go of expectations and societal pressures. Now, more than ever, if you need a break, please make space for yourself to take it. No one had the answer to being a perfect parent before the pandemic, and no one has the answer now! ## It’s not your fault. My final message is this: remember, these circumstances are not your fault. You did not know there would be a pandemic or how long it would last. The best thing for your child’s mental health is simply providing a warm and loving relationship, which you are already doing by being their parent. You are doing GREAT. --- *Leah specializes in parenthood, peri/prenatal mental health, substance use, trauma, anxiety, and depression. To learn more about Leah, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/leah-wright-lsw).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** anxiety, current events, Motherhood, Parenthood --- ### [Our Most Helpful Tips for Establishing a Self-Care Routine](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/02/23/establishing-self-care-routines/) **Published:** February 23, 2023 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Becca-2-scaled.jpg) ## Ah, self-care routines. Did the image of someone with a clay face mask on and cucumbers for eyes appear in your mind? I think of a woman with her hair wrapped in a purple towel and an annoying, blissful smile on her face. There’s also tranquil spa music playing in the background as she sips water infused with fruit, not a care in the world. The American beauty industry tells us these things are the key to relaxation and “self-care”. If you can slip into your silk robe after a nightly lavender scented bubble bath you will be a more productive and happier human. But for someone with sensitive skin and a hatred of lavender, that routine just doesn’t do it for me. So what next? ## Self-care has no strict definition. But it can be best explained by the small daily habits one establishes to ensure their well-being. It is obtuse and also deeply personal. The reason face masks and fruit water have not cured the stress epidemic we are facing is because everyone needs to establish their own self-care routines. Throughout my practice as a therapist, I have learned the importance of helping clients find the individual things that make them feel as though they are caring for themselves. I start the practice by encouraging them to integrate small moments of daily joy. For example, something as simple as having a short dance party in the living room, to larger things like getting a good night’s sleep. However, broadly speaking self-care should focus on two main areas; physical and psychological well-being. For me, the bulk of my self-care is my morning routine. I try to start each morning by moving my body. My favorite way to do so is what I have affectionately coined “the waddle.” It’s a combo walk/run where I stop to pet every friendly dog whose owner will let me. This helps nurture both my physical and psychological well being. My body appreciates the movement, and my heart appreciates how many dogs wear sweaters in the wintertime! Nothing extravagant or costly, just simple joys. To establish your own self-care routines, think about what you need for your body and brain to feel good. I always tell my clients they can start as small as eating a piece of chocolate. Give yourself permission to do things that feel restorative. ## Start with these three tips. 1. Movement. Find something that feels good for you in moving your body. I’m serious about the dance party! It has been [scientifically proven](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-effect/202211/how-dance-can-relieve-stress-and-help-us-heal-covid-19) that dancing helps reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. It also increases the feel good chemical dopamine in our brains. Turn on some tunes, and bust a move in the name of self-care. 2. Sleep. Much like our bodies need movement, they also need sleep. It is extremely important that we get a good night’s rest, every night. Sleep is not only enjoyable, but it enables our brains and bodies to [recover](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/what-happens-when-you-sleep). 3. Mindfulness.  The day-to-day can sometimes feel overwhelming. So, it is important that we take time every day for ourselves to be mindful of how we are feeling. A simple one minute pause once we notice we are stressed can help eliminate more negative feelings. A square breath can be helpful: breathe in for four seconds, hold for four, out for four, and hold for four. Taking that step back from our situation can ground us in our day and [reduce the overwhelm](https://www.mindful.org/how-to-avoid-feeling-overwhelmed-in-stressful-times/). In the end, self-care should be an independent exercise that looks different for everyone. Take these tips to start building your own self-care practice! --- *Becca specializes in adolescents, OCD, LGBTQ+ mental health, anxiety, and depression. To learn more about Becca, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/becca-adleberg-m-ed).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** boundaries, burnout, self care, self love --- ### [Why It's Important to Prioritize Self Care This Spring](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/05/04/self-care-spring-cleaning/) **Published:** May 4, 2023 **Author:** Julie Belling, LCSW **Content:** The changing of the seasons is always very symbolic: nature blooming, the warmth of the sun, and animals waking from hibernation. Springtime is my absolute favorite in Philadelphia. I love seeing the city bustling and the beautiful colors of the trees and flowers. This time of year [can positively impact our mental health](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/weather-and-mood#the-effects) as we get more sunlight and enjoy fun outdoor activities. It can also be common to put aside the care we’ve put into ourselves only to face challenges again during the colder months. But, setting self-care aside can lead to depression and anxiety affecting us during the warmer months too, which can leave us feeling disappointed and let down. ![Amanda White of Therapy For Women Center ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/40_Amanda_TFW_Branding_Oct_4_2019_CeliaR_EDIT_0114.jpg) Have you ever beat yourself up about not wanting to get out of bed on a beautiful day? Or, have you ever felt too anxious to attend social events only to be hit with [FOMO](https://time.com/4358140/overcome-fomo/)? This is why a regular self-care routine can be vital, and using the newfound energy/motivation of spring can help kick-start this! Taking care of ourselves should not be reserved for certain times of the year; it is lifelong work. It is a commitment to the relationship with ourselves, just like we would care for any other type of relationship. Seasonal intentions like [New Year’s Resolutions](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201612/the-science-why-new-years-resolutions-dont-work) generally only create temporary change that often disappoints people. So how do we use the boost of springtime energy to make long-lasting changes? ## How to Prioritize Self Care ### First, start with a small goal. Think of a goal and strip it down to the most minor, realistic step you can take. For example, if going on walks is your goal, start with 15 minutes three times per week. Or, if you want to start meditation, find a quick five-minute session to begin. Still too big of a goal? Break it down further and leave the shame behind! We’ve been taught to think “bigger, faster, stronger,” but that mindset usually leaves us crashing later or unable to start at all. I see plenty of programs and fads that promote quick fixes, like “get x, y, or z in 30 days.” I recommend staying away from these- they are designed to make money off of us feeling bad about ourselves, to begin with! ### Second, understand your intentions behind self-care. An essential piece to long-term self-care is understanding your intentions. Why are you making these goals? Is it because society tells you to, or do they align with your values? Self-care shouldn’t focus on productivity or changing your body. It should focus on what feels restorative and improves your relationship with yourself! Need help figuring out where to start? Try breaking self-care into relevant categories: physical, mental, spiritual, social, financial, etc. List one or two small changes you want to commit to in each category. This can be a great brainstorming tool and a way to hold yourself accountable. ### Third, call upon support. Speaking of accountability, what support can you call upon to help you with these new changes? A therapist is a great resource, who can empower you to take care of yourself and explore negative thinking or beliefs that might be barriers. See if you can call a partner, friend, family member, or neighbor to support you with these goals. Self-care has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty cup and we are not full of limitless energy. If you are like me and feeling motivated by the warm weather, use it to care for yourself! Warmer months do not have to be a time of FOMO and anxiety if we choose to be conscientious. ## Self-care is a year-round, life-long commitment. Many of us face the consequences of foregoing self-care during the summer when fall and winter roll around. Symptoms such as burnout, fatigue, and isolation are common. But we can reduce the impact of these symptoms by viewing self-care as a year-round and life-long commitment, even when our symptoms may not be as evident in the summer! Keeping up with your therapy is a great example. A metaphor I like to use is running a marathon. Suppose you wait to train until a few weeks before- your chance of success is much lower than if you were to focus on deliberate training throughout the year. Just like a marathon, we can feel like giving up when self-care feels like too large of a task. But you will thank yourself later if you begin developing the skills now, when they feel easier to implement! Be sure to tune in to my Instagram @juliebtherapy to get more ideas! --- *Julie Belling specializes in trauma, substance use, adolescents, LGBTQ+ mental health, anxiety, and depression. To learn more about Julie, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/julie-belling).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** boundaries, burnout, self care, self love --- ### [How to Use Yoga for Holiday Stress Relief During This Season](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/10/25/yoga-for-holiday-stress-relief/) **Published:** October 25, 2023 **Author:** Erika Pranzo, LPC **Content:** ![Woman practicing yoga for holiday stress relief ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721435613969-683x1024.jpg) ## Yoga For Holiday Stress Relief Yoga is a powerful tool for stress relief of any kind. As the holiday season rapidly approaches, stress often follows. Yoga is one of my favorite tools for holiday stress relief. If your stomach is already in knots thinking of facing family members at Thanksgiving, or if your heart is racing imagining all the Christmas gifts you “have” to buy, take a pause. Ongoing research continues to study the links between physical and mental health, as we know they are deeply interconnected. For example, chronic stress and anxiety can lead to disruptive physical symptoms such as insomnia, fatigue, IBS and body pains. However, we *also* know that interventions used with the body, such as breath work, mindfulness, and yoga can lessen physical and mental issues! ## What is Yoga Beyond A Physical Practice? While most people may envision the physical practice when they think of yoga, yoga is actually a physical, mental, *and* spiritual practice. It takes place both on the mat and throughout daily life. Yoga has been used in healing for hundreds of years, originating in ancient India. Neuroscientists have more recently been studying the connection between yoga and meditation with health benefits. They have consistently found significant results. Practicing yoga for just 30-90 minutes per week can increase body flexibility. Practicing daily for about a month can begin to decrease feelings of anxiety and depression. A regular yoga practice has also been shown to increase the diversity of microbiome in the gut to improve gut health. Even more astounding, regularly practicing meditation can literally restructure your brain to build resiliency and make you feel calmer and happier! With all that said, yoga is a beneficial tool for creating a sense of grounding within yourself. The best part is, you don’t need anything except yourself (and sometimes a mat) to practice. --- *Erika specializes in anxiety and depression, eating disorders, ADHD, and grief & loss. To learn more about Erika, [read her bio here.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erika-pranzo-lpc)* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** Holidays, stress relief, yoga --- ### [Change Your Relationship with Yourself Through Self Love](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/11/11/beginning-your-journey-toward-self-love/) **Published:** November 11, 2022 **Author:** Hannah McGrath, MDiv, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/TFWC_MiniPortSessionMarch-9019-683x1024.jpg) Clients often ask, “why is it so much harder for me to be kind to myself than it is to be kind to other people?” I relate to this frustrating question. It makes me reflect on my own path to becoming kinder toward myself. Your journey might look different from mine, and that’s okay. But, I’d like to share what worked for me. I hope it will help you start thinking about how your own self-love journey might unfold. The big shift in my relationship with myself happened in college. I had previously been to therapy but had never recognized (or been called out for) how hard I was on myself. I started working with an amazing therapist who helped me see the connection between self-criticism, feelings of guilt, and self-destructive behaviors. She recommended I read “Intuitive Eating,” which has continued to transform my relationship with food, my body, and myself. The idea (learned from the Intuitive Eating book) that perhaps I could treat myself with the same care and compassion that I would show my loved ones blew my mind. Intuitive eating itself is a topic for a different post. But this book was key in recognizing how guilt and shame had no place in my path toward healing. In fact, curiosity and kindness toward oneself are much more powerful! This was a major shift for me because I previously had thought that being kind to myself was “selfish”. The irony is that being kinder to myself allowed me to be more patient and authentic with others. Often, people fear that being gentler and kinder toward themselves would mean being “lazy” or “lowering their standards”. In actuality, we tend to learn more from a place of love and safety rather than from shame and judgment. ## Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean not holding yourself accountable. It means holding yourself accountable from a place of goodness and respect instead of beating yourself up. How do you feel about developing a more loving relationship with yourself? Does it seem like a worthwhile endeavor? If not, why not? It’s okay and normal to have mixed feelings about making a change like this. Before actually making any changes, I had to start with becoming aware of how I spoke to myself. I couldn’t make any changes if I didn’t recognize my critical inner voice (who loves to use language like “should” and “shouldn’t”). One tool that helped me increase awareness around self-talk was journaling. Journaling also gave me a place to reflect on my experiences and validate my own feelings while working out new and loving ways of talking to myself. Journaling has allowed me to better notice what brings me joy and what I can practice expressing gratitude for. When I look back on old journal entries, it helps me notice how I’ve grown and feel proud. I know journaling without judgment toward yourself can feel challenging, but I highly suggest giving it a try. **TRY THIS**: *It’s helpful to remember that journaling can take so many different forms: drawing, writing full sentences, writing bullets, using specific prompts, writing it as a letter to yourself or someone else, etc.* ## Self-talk is a BIG DEAL, y’all! Around the same time I began my self-love journey, one of my close friends was going through a difficult time. I wanted to do something uplifting for her. So, I decided to make her a quote jar, full of encouraging and inspiring affirmations. I spent hours making this gift and ultimately noticed a huge shift in my own mood and mindset in the process. I went on to make the same gift for other friends, and even for myself. This was my first real experience with what it means to rewire one’s brain. Learning to be intentional about the words I use with myself involved catching myself when I would speak or think in a way that was putting myself down or beating myself up, and starting to use kinder and gentler wording. Practicing kind self-talk might feel a little silly at first if you haven’t tried it before. You may notice your inner critic jump in and try to shut it down. But remind yourself that most skills take time and consistent effort to develop. Allow yourself to build the skill of kind self-talk! If you’re not sure where to start, think of how a loving friend or relative usually talks to you. Or, think about the way you talk to someone you really care about. Use these words with yourself too. Or you can find a mantra that resonates with you, like “You are enough” or “You can do hard things”. **TRY THIS:** *If you use a planner, write encouraging messages to yourself on random future days.* ## You don’t have to blame or shame anyone to let go of them. Finally, allowing myself to let go of people who don’t encourage me to love myself and who don’t enhance my growth was huge. When I say “let go of”, I don’t necessarily mean cutting people out or not caring about them anymore–it just means not allowing their opinions to carry so much weight. You can wish them the best and also not expect yourself to stay well-connected to them. **TRY THIS:** *Notice how you feel about the relationships in your life. Which relationships consistently bring up feelings of anger, exhaustion, or anxiety for you? Do you feel responsible for how the other person feels? You can be a sensitive and caring person while not carrying other people’s emotional luggage, so to speak.* ## Self-love work is the foundation for unlearning helpful beliefs throughout life. Our beliefs and worldviews are not set in stone–they are developed and reinforced over time. They can absolutely change, although that kind of change takes time, effort and intention. I hope you become curious about your own core beliefs and how/why they originated. I also hope you are able to start recognizing how these beliefs might have felt helpful in the past, but are no longer. There are a multitude of ways to view the world. Allow yourself to explore beliefs that are more supportive of your growth. Consistently practicing kind self-talk eventually turns into unconscious self-support and confidence. Have patience with yourself! Self-love is an ongoing journey. Creating a healthy relationship with yourself–just as in creating a great relationship with anyone else in your life–is not a one-time thing. What is one small step you can take today toward creating a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself? I hope you remember that you are a person who is worthy and deserving of kindness and compassion–from others, and also from yourself. --- *Hannah specializes in anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders, substance use, and faith transitions. To learn more about Hannah, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/hannah-mcgrath-ma-mdiv).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** inner child healing, self compassion, self love --- ### [What is Burnout and How to Feel Better](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/06/08/burnout-what-it-actually-means/) **Published:** June 8, 2023 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Content:** Burnout is a hot-button word. But many people ask, “what is burnout?” Many of us are not even clear on the definition of it, let alone how to cope with it. This blog post will break it all down. ## What is Burnout Exactly? Herbert Freudenberger defined burnout in 1974. He defined it as a “state of mental and physical exhaustion caused by one’s professional life.” His research was groundbreaking in discovering that work can significantly cause stress. In 2023, that statement makes most of us go, “Duh.” This no longer exists in the workplace, as it can be relevant in many facets of our lives. Relationships, friendships, wedding planning- all of these things can cause chronic stress that can end in burnout. Societal constraints keep us trapped in this never-ending cycle of stress. We now understand that [stress is a chronic condition](https://www.verywellmind.com/chronic-stress-3145104) and that burnout results from said stress becoming way too much. ![woman stretching her back on floor asking herself "what is burnout?"](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721437116983.jpg) ## So, what is burnout? ### When stressed, we have elevated cortisol and adrenaline. The adrenaline causes rapid heart rate and heightens your blood pressure, while cortisol puts you into fight or flight by boosting your anxious energy. When the body constantly feels this way, it can become “too much,” which results in the three main components of [burnout as defined by Dr. Christina Maslach](https://extension.umn.edu/two-you-video-series/burnout-dr-christina-maslach). The Maslach Burnout Inventory defined the phenomenon in 3 parts: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment. For some, specific components may be more prominent than others. For example, a stressed-out kindergarten teacher with too many kids in their classroom and a never-ending pile of paperwork may feel super connected to their students but feel like they “can’t do anything right.” Due to this phenomenon, it has been discovered that we must focus on reducing stress than eliminating our burnout. Due to the elevated cortisol levels and adrenaline pumping through our veins, research has shown that we need to [end the stress cycle](https://psychcentral.com/stress/the-stress-response-cycle) when it occurs. It’s the difference between letting out that loud sneeze and holding it in. We need to finish it when it starts to take the pressure off. ## Here are some concrete ways to help with burnout: 1\. **Physical Movement:** Doing some Movement can be beneficial in ending the stress cycle because it helps our bodies replicate the “flight” response and tires us out, reducing our adrenaline. 2\. **Deep Breathing:** A breath is another excellent way to help [regulate the nervous system](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/proper-breathing-brings-better-health/). For example, try a square breath: in for four, hold for four, out for four, and hold for four. 3\. **Crying:** Honestly, this one is just as helpful! Crying [reduces cortisol](https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-science-of-tears#:~:text=Crying%20provides%20many%20benefits.,%2C%20attachment%2C%20and%20sincere%20authenticity.) and can lessen our stress. It is important to remember that stress is chronic and cannot be resolved with simple steps. It is essential to work to identify the root of the pressure with a therapist to eliminate the struggle. --- *Becca specializes in anxiety, depression, adolescents, OCD, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Becca, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/becca-adleberg-m-ed).* **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** boundaries, burnout, self care, stress relief --- ### [How EMDR Can Help You Heal Trauma and Feel Better](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/02/06/unlocking-healing-with-emdr-therapy-understanding-its-benefits/) **Published:** February 6, 2024 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Excerpt:** EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a mouthful that encapsulates its core processes. Essentially, EMDR is a trauma treatment modality designed to target and reprocess traumatic memories stored in the brain. When trauma memories are stored in a dysfunctional way it can cause us pain and mental health issues. **Content:** In the realm of trauma therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has emerged as a transformative approach to healing. Developed in the 1980s, it has steadily gained recognition for its effectiveness in addressing traumatic memories and their associated symptoms. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721434775039-1024x1024.jpg) So, what exactly is EMDR, and why is it beneficial for clients seeking relief from trauma? ## What is EMDR Therapy? EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a mouthful that encapsulates its core processes. Essentially, it is a trauma treatment modality designed to target and reprocess traumatic memories stored in the brain. When trauma memories are stored in a dysfunctional way it can cause us pain and mental health issues. ### How Does EMDR Therapy Work? When someone experiences trauma, their brain stores the memory differently from ordinary experiences. Traumatic memories often trigger intense emotional and physical responses, leading to symptoms like flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress. EMDR works by accessing these traumatic memories and facilitating their reprocessing through a structured protocol. ### What Can I Expect? During an EMDR session, the therapist guides the client in recalling the traumatic memory while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. To put it simply, bilateral stimulation is when your body gets sensation on both the right and left sides of the body and both brain hemispheres. Eye movements, tactile sensations, or auditory cues are all examples of bilateral stimulation. A therapist may have you put on headphones for sound, or have you watch a light bar to stimulate your sight. Bilateral stimulation help us reprocess the traumatic memory, or allows it to integrate into our brain rather than being “stuck”. When your memories are processed correctly in your brain, you will feel better emotionally and mentally. Flashbacks, for example, are an indication a memory has not processed correctly in your brain. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721434714991-1024x1024.jpg)EMDR is highly connected to your brain. ## Why is EMDR Beneficial? - **Efficiency:** EMDR has been lauded for its efficiency in alleviating symptoms associated with trauma. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which may take years to yield results, EMDR often produces noticeable improvements in a relatively short period, making it a preferred choice for many clients. - **Holistic Healing:** EMDR focuses on the interconnectedness between the brain and the body. By incorporating bilateral stimulation and somatic awareness, it addresses trauma on both cognitive and physiological levels, promoting holistic healing. - **Empowerment**: EMDR empowers clients to actively participate in their healing journey. Rather than passively recounting traumatic experiences, clients engage in the reprocessing of memories, leading to a sense of agency and control over their own recovery process. - **Customized Approach:** EMDR therapy is highly adaptable to individual needs and preferences. Therapists tailor the treatment protocol to suit each client’s unique experiences and sensitivities, ensuring a personalized approach to healing. - **Lasting Results:** Many individuals who have EMDR therapy report sustained improvements in their symptoms even after completing therapy. By reprocessing traumatic memories in your brain, where they were created, this therapy creates long-term healing and resilience. In conclusion, [EMDR therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/emdr/) offers a promising pathway to healing for individuals grappling with the aftermath of trauma. By unlocking the brain’s innate capacity for healing, EMDR facilitates transformative changes that extend beyond symptom relief to encompass true mental wellness. As more individuals discover the benefits of it, the landscape of trauma therapy continues to evolve, offering hope and healing to those in need. **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** alternative therapy, bilateral stimulation, depression, EMDR, PTSD, Therapy Modalities, trauma --- ### [How to Stress Less and Live More: Tips for Stress Management](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/12/08/stress-less-live-more-tips-for-stress-management/) **Published:** December 8, 2023 **Author:** Julia Johnston, LPCC, LICDC **Content:** Stress is inevitably a part of our lives. It’s a natural human response to address challenges or changes in life. Stress doesn’t have to be a negative. We can use stress as a motivator to complete our to-do list; it lets us know what is important to us, boosts our performance, and even helps increase our ability to remember and store memories. However, it can also negatively impact our daily functioning if left untreated. ![asian woman with lip ring feeling stressed](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/pexels-anntarazevich-8066653-683x1024.jpg) ## Let’s Talk About Stress Management As a therapist, some signs I watch for in clients to assess for stress are irritability, anger, impatient, feeling overwhelmed, nervous, anxiety, fear, racing thoughts, depression, feeling unable to participate in things that bring them joy, worried, and if relevant, increased mental health symptoms or exacerbated mental health symptoms. Here are some of my best everyday tips and tricks to help manage your stress! ### Practice Deep Breathing Take slow, deep breaths to activate the body’s relation response and reduce stress. One of my favorite exercises to use with clients is a type of breathing called “Box Breathing,” where you exhale for 4 seconds, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds. This can be repeated as many times as you need and can be done anywhere (school pick-up line, at your desk, before bed, etc). ### Stay Active Engage in regular physical activity to release endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. But don’t put pressure on yourself to have an intense workout. A simple walk around the block or stretches in the morning or before bed can make a huge difference if done consistently! ### Prioritize Sleep According to the [Mayo Clinic](https://www.mayoclinic.org/), adults should aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to help their body and mind recover. ### Manage Your Time Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and prioritize them to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And don’t be afraid to delegate! I often see clients trying to do every task imaginable. You don’t win a medal for doing everything; ask for help when needed. ### Mindfulness and Meditation Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce racing thoughts. There are a lot of really great apps for meditation, and even YouTube has a lot of great guided meditations to use. Start slow; you don’t have to meditate for hours; try 3-5 minutes to start. I like to meditate before bed to get me in a calm space before I fall asleep. Still, some people like to meditate in the morning when they wake up or whenever they are starting to feel stress come on during the day. ### Maintain a Healthy Diet Eat a balanced diet rich in nutrients to fuel your body and maintain stable energy levels. Again, don’t put pressure on yourself to change your entire diet. Can you add or switch one thing in your regular meal plan that is a bit healthier? Start small and simple. ### Connect With Others Spend time with friends and family or engage in social activities you enjoy! ### Set Boundaries Learn to say no when necessary and limit your commitments to prevent burnout. ### Engage in Hobbies Pursue activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s reading, painting, playing a musical instrument, or something else. ### Practice Positive Self-Talk Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations to cultivate a healthier mindset. Sticky notes with positive affirmations hanging on your mirror may sound cheesy, but they work, trust me! ### Laugh Often Laughter can reduce stress hormones and boost your mood, so watch a funny movie or spend time with people who make you laugh. ### Limit Screen Time Reduce exposure to digital devices, especially before bed, to improve quality sleep. Social media can help with connection, but it can also feel isolating and lead us to play the comparison game. Your phone can set timers on your apps; I always recommend using a timer to help you keep your boundaries with social media. ### Seek Support For Stress Management If stress becomes overwhelming, talk to a friend, family member, or mental health professional for guidance. Remember, different strategies work for other people, so finding what resonates with you and creating a stress management routine that fits your lifestyle is essential. Your stress management routine doesn’t have to be perfect; little changes over time can make a big difference. If you find yourself lacking in some of these areas, a therapist can be a great source to help you create a routine that works best for you. --- *Julia is a virtual therapist at Therapy for Women, specializing in anxiety, depression, trauma, substance use, and parenthood. To learn more about Julia or find out if she serves your state, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/julia-johnston-lpcc-licdc).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** burnout, self care, stress, stress relief --- ### [What is Art Therapy and What Are Its Benefits?](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/08/17/what-is-art-therapy-and-what-are-the-benefits/) **Published:** August 17, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/TFWC_MiscGroup-2-644x1024.jpg) ## What Is Art Therapy? Art therapists are clinicians with master’s-level or higher degrees trained in both art and therapy. We are credentialed mental health care professionals who care deeply about the communities we support, and work to improve people’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being! In my opinion, this type of therapy provides the opportunity for clients to expand their emotional processing from beyond talking with their choice of materials, color, movement, and subject matter. Individually, art-making can increase self-awareness, build confidence, and decrease stress. Community-based and group Art Therapy can support strengthening social skills, navigating conflict, and strengthening empathy. Ultimately, it can enrich your life through art-making, creative process, and human experience! But, when in doubt, we can always look at the art and lean into curiosity, what does the art say? Art Therapy is practiced in hospitals, schools, veteran clinics, private practice, psychiatric and rehabilitation centers, community clinics, crisis centers, forensic institutions, senior communities, and more. Individuals, families, couples, communities, groups, children, teens, adults and the elderly can all practice this type of therapy! ## So, what are the benefits of art therapy? It can… Improve cognitive and sensory motor functions Foster self-esteem and self-awareness Cultivate emotional resilience Promote insight Enhance social skills Reduce and resolve conflicts and distress Whether you’re an artist, craft pro, or simply like to color at a leisurely pace, the art-making process and product are beneficial and inspiring. We are specifically trained to provide support in a safe space and be there next to you as you discover more about your art and yourself! [*Read more about the American Art Therapy Association*](https://arttherapy.org/about-art-therapy/) *To learn more or book an appointment with one of our art therapists, click here!* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** alternative therapy, art therapy, Therapy Modalities --- ### [How to Feel Confident in Your Halloween Costume This Year](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/10/29/halloween-costume-confidence/) **Published:** October 29, 2022 **Author:** Becca Adleberg, LPC **Excerpt:** I make most of my costumes; the sparkles are sewn into each piece of fabric with love and care. Each piece I create proudly accentuates the body that I have and love. **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/1546175_10152772218003211_2747386097656480070_n.jpg) Halloween has always been my favorite. Beginning October 1st, I consider spooky season officially upon us, and my clients see me in all of my glory. We’re talking spooky sweaters, pumpkin pants, glow-in-the-dark earrings, you name it. Then comes the penultimate day of Halloween. I always fill my home with little candy bowls in anticipation of trick-or-treaters or coworkers who need a little boost in their day. And of course, there’s my yearly costume, which I most likely came up with months ago, and wear with pride. I make most of my costumes; the sparkles are sewn into each piece of fabric with love and care. Each piece I create proudly accentuates the body that I have and love. All of its curves and edges, painted with makeup and textures, transform me into whatever hilarious or glamorous creation I want. It looks even better after eating a pail full of my nephews trick-or-treat candy (I let him keep most, but hey, he’s 3, so I can still tell him sour is “spicy” and eat it). Still, despite all the fun of this glorious holiday, it can be hard to feel confident in costumes when social media tells us we need to look a specific way. It can be even harder when influencers encourage us to achieve these looks by not eating candy or sweets. ## This Halloween, I hope we can all strive to feel confident in our costumes and grounded in our bodies, even after a few treats. I follow the ideology of [body positivity](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-body-positivity-4773402), believing that we all deserve to celebrate how we look regardless of the patriarchal society. Who cares if the character you are trying to emulate is supposed to be a size 0 and you are a size 8? If you feel good, go for it! Or maybe you are afraid it will be “too revealing” or “too scandalous.” Costumes do not equal consent! Only you own your body, and you get to decide the rules for what to put on it. The same goes for the things you put into it, which should be extra sweet or sour this Halloween! Candy is not the enemy. If you are inclined to eat some sweet treats- go for it! There should be no shame or compensation needed for celebrating. Before the evening of festivities arrives, I encourage you to practice offering kindness to yourself in your costume. Stand in front of the mirror and say things about yourself that you like! It may be hard at first, but continued exposure to being nice will help ease that discomfort. Worried about what others might say? Remind yourself that at the core of this experience is YOUR body and YOUR costume, and whatever you wear should only matter to YOU. The same goes for eating candy. Give yourself the space to acknowledge that it tastes good and that it’s okay. Avoid counting or checking calories and instead engage in [mindful eating](https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/mindful-eating/#:~:text=Mindful%20eating%20focuses%20on%20your,your%20responses%20to%20those%20cues.%20%5B). While eating your favorite treat try to notice all the senses to enhance and enjoy the thing you are eating. With these tools, we can stay grounded in our bodies, allowing us to own our choices and feel confident. Comparison is the thief of joy, so stay focused on how you are- a badass! --- *Becca specializes in anxiety, depression, adolescents, OCD, and LGBTQ+ mental health. To learn more about Becca, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/becca-adleberg-m-ed).* *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** Body image, confidence, current events, Holidays --- ### [My Favorite Hack: How To Take Care of Your Future Self](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/01/10/taking-care-of-your-future-self/) **Published:** January 10, 2020 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Despite what society tells us, self care is not something that you buy. There’s no price tag on it. And its difficult because there are so many different beliefs about what it is and what is it not.  Here’s a general guideline: ask yourself, “What will my future self thank me for?” OR “What will best help me for tomorrow?” ![A woman reading by engaging in self care and taking care of her future self](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721441892855-1024x1024.jpg) “Self care looks like doing something right now that you don’t want to do in order to take care of your future self.”- Amanda E. White, LPC ## Self Care is Thinking of Your Future Self I got a lot of feedback on Instagram that this was helpful but also some confusion with people saying things like… “If I live my whole life like that, I will never rest, that sounds exhausting!” I hear you. But I also think we may be misunderstanding the concept then. If you’re sick, skipping the gym, calling out of work, pushing away laundry and SLEEPING are something your future self will thank you for. If you are feeling blue, only you can decide and discover if skipping plans will make you feel better or worse. ## The Harsh Truth About Self Care This is the thing: we all want a black-and-white rule. Something that we can always rely on to follow. But life isn’t like that. Self care is certainly not like that. Context is everything. Your motives and intentions behind what you do matter. AND most importantly, what may be self care for you may not be for someone else. So try to not compare yourself with other people (especially on Instagram!) We all have different needs and values, so our self care is going to look different. Try to not be hard on yourself and give yourself grace to remember, that learning how to take care of yourself is a lifelong JOURNEY. It will evolve and change depending on what’s going on in your life. In the meantime, here are some of my favorite ways to take care of myself that are FREE. - Cleaning mindfully - Going for a mindful walk - Journaling mindfully - Exercising without technology - Cooking – especially while watching reruns - Reading - Stretching - Listening to music- especially a really great nostalgic track that reminds me of a favorite memory - Taking a bath My challenge to you this week – practice self care at least once this week! Warmly, Amanda To learn more, [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) or [book an appointment.](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Categories:** Anxiety, Depression **Tags:** anxiety, burnout, self care --- ### [5 Important Things Your Inner Child Needs to Hear From You](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/07/27/5-things-your-inner-child-needs-to-hear-from-you/) **Published:** July 27, 2023 **Author:** Hannah McGrath, MDiv, LPC **Content:** ## What do therapists mean when they talk about your “inner child”? From my perspective, the inner child is the young, vulnerable part of you that carries scrapes and scars from growing up. I also see the inner child as the part of you that brings a capacity for tender emotions like joy, hope, curiosity, excitement, and awe. When you notice yourself having a big reaction to something or feeling small and ashamed, that can be a sign that your inner child needs acknowledgment. While we can’t go back and change what hurt us in the past, we can recognize what we need now and offer it to our inner child. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721436549009.jpg) ### 1. You are enough. If you’ve watched Mindy Kaling’s show *Never Have I Ever*, maybe you remember that beautiful scene in season 3 when Devi’s mom, Nalini, tearfully embraces Devi while telling her, “You are never too much, and you are always enough.” Yes, Nalini! Every kiddo needs to hear this! Even as adults, we need to hear this. I’ve never met a human being who hasn’t experienced shame. Shame often appears as feelings of being insufficient–” I’m not good enough.” We didn’t learn this not-enoughness in a vacuum. Your little childhood self, somewhere along the way, knew to compare yourself to others and to find yourself lacking. In adulthood, this can show up in the form of seeking approval from others. However, what you may really need is your own love and acceptance and permission from yourself to be yourself. ### 2. How you feel is ok. When you were growing up, how were big emotions handled? How were tears met? Maybe you had parents or caregivers who encouraged you to feel your feelings, while also setting boundaries around what behaviors you could use to express those feelings. Or perhaps you heard, “Oh no, don’t cry!” or “It’s not a big deal; there’s no need to get mad about it”. When we’re taught as kids that only certain emotions are acceptable and that we shouldn’t express or even feel other emotions, we carry that into adulthood. Have you ever noticed how often people apologize for crying? Here’s your friendly reminder that tears are OKAY and necessary in the healing process! I believe in putting out the welcome mat for your emotions. If we judge ourselves for how we feel, there’s no opportunity to learn why we think that way. Allow your little self to feel shame, hope, anger, confusion, and giddiness without judging the emotion. ### 3. I admire you. The other day, my 8-year-old niece picked out black-and-orange checkered leggings and a turquoise shirt with navy stars on it–typical of her disregard for traditionally matching patterns and colors. Her style brings me immense joy! So often, as kids, we speak our minds freely and don’t care what others think. We wear the clothes we want, throw tantrums to express our anger and allow ourselves to be true to our likes and dislikes. For many people, as we get older, we prioritize the need to be socially accepted above the need to be true to ourselves. We start to filter our words, hide certain emotions, and accommodate to avoid conflict. I think our inner child has something to teach us about how to be more authentically ourselves. ### 4. I will protect you. No one gets out of childhood without some wounds–whether we had caregivers who were super loving and supportive, dismissive and detached, or a mix of both–growing up involves inevitable pain. Trauma therapist Kelly McDaniel identifies the three essential elements of maternal care as nurturance, protection, and guidance. In her incredible book *[Mother Hunger](https://kellymcdanieltherapy.com/a-short-description-of-mother-hunger/)*, she walks you through how to heal from a lack of any of these elements. In adulthood, this might show up as anxiety. Learning and honoring our boundaries is a form of protecting ourselves. Often, we push past this because we’re afraid of potentially disappointing others. Additionally, we may feel like we’re superhuman and can do a thousand things without taking care of ourselves. You can protect your inner child by honoring your limitations, respecting your own boundaries, and staying connected to your preferences. ### 5. I believe you. Imagine you’re fed up with your boss after a tough meeting and want to vent to a coworker about how frustrated you feel. If your coworker responds, “Well, I’ve never had a bad experience with her, so you must be doing something wrong,” you’d probably never vent to them again. If your coworker responds, “I’m sorry you had such a rough meeting,” you would likely feel seen, supported, and relieved. There’s something beautiful that happens inside of us when we feel recognized and believed by others. It builds our trust and confidence in our decisions and feelings. Dr. Becky, founder of *[Good Inside](https://www.goodinside.com/membership-1/?utm_content=goodinside&utm_campaign=branded&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&keyword=good%20inside&campaignid=14657890298&utm_term=good%20inside_p&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA8YyuBhBSEiwA5R3-E3hXRZe5c-z6PUYAuAWRXaKRbgGkQl-GEKni7kciL6gHcmHHvhwwahoCf8gQAvD_BwE)*, explains that more kids feel heard and believed in their experience, the more they can access their internal and external resources to navigate their experience. It is powerful to shift from, “Come on, it’s not that scary, just try it!” to “Something about this feels scary to you, I believe you”. Our inner child might be carrying some self-doubt. That might look like having a hard time trusting your decisions. Conversely, it may look like a tendency to minimize or dismiss your experience. It may look like feeling like there’s something fundamentally bad or wrong about you. If that feels true for you, your inner child might need to be reminded that their experience is worth hearing and believing–that they deserve to be trusted. ## How to Be Kinder to Yourself When I think of my inner child, it helps me to envision myself as a tree. If you’ve ever looked at a tree stump, you can see the many rings that depict its age and growth. My inner child is like one of the tiny rings at the very center. I carry her with me. However, I’ve also grown more expansive layers that can hold and protect her. If you feel like your inner child could use a little attention and healing, try to find a picture of yourself from childhood. Send your inner child some love by repeating one of these phrases to them. Start consistently take time to care for your younger self and see what happens! *Hannah specializes in anxiety, depression, eating disorders, faith transitions, OCD, and substance use. To learn more about Hannah, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/hannah-mcgrath-ma-mdiv).* **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** inner child healing, self care --- ### [Is Menopause Wrecking Your Mental Health? Here's How to Deal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/10/23/menopause-how-to-navigate-the-journey-and-stay-sane/) **Published:** October 23, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** Even if it feels like you are light years away from menopause, it’s essential to understand how your mental health is impacted by hormones if you have a uterus. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721436248497-1024x1024.jpg) In a culture that prioritizes youth, it can be scary and shameful to feel as though you are getting older. But growing older is human! The more people can openly discuss aging, including hormonal changes, the less shame there will be. Read on to learn about the stages of menopause and to understand the physical symptoms, cognitive changes, and mental health impacts you may experience during this transformative time, plus practical strategies to help manage throughout the process. ## First, let’s explore the menopause timeline: ### Perimenopause (late 30s to early 50s) - Hormone levels start fluctuating, leading to irregular periods - Physical symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness may occur - Cognitive changes might begin, including short-term memory lapses and difficulty concentrating ### Menopause (usually occurs around 51) - Cessation of menstrual periods for 12 consecutive months ### Postmenopause - Hormone levels stabilize - Physical symptoms may continue but often less in severity over time - Cognitive changes, commonly known as ‘brain fog’ may persist ## What can menopause symptoms and changes include? ### Physical Symptoms of Menopause: During the menopausal process, folks may experience a range of symptoms that can disrupt daily life. Hot flashes and night sweats can disturb sleep, while vaginal dryness can cause discomfort and affect intimate relationships. The fluctuating hormone levels can also impact bone density, leading to an increased risk of osteoporosis. It’s essential to be proactive in managing these symptoms and seeking medical advice when necessary. ### Cognitive Changes: The hormonal fluctuations that occur during the menopausal process can affect cognitive function, leading to memory lapses, difficulty focusing, and reduced mental clarity. Many folks report feeling like their minds are not as sharp as they used to be. Understanding that these cognitive changes are a natural part of the aging process, and NOT a sign of permanent decline, can help alleviate anxiety! ### Mental Health Impacts: The menopausal process can be emotionally challenging. Hormonal changes can contribute to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of sadness or anxiety. Additionally, the physical discomfort and cognitive challenges may add to the emotional burden. Folks with a history of depression or anxiety may be more susceptible to experiencing worsened symptoms during this time. It’s crucial to address mental health concerns and seek support when needed. ## Finally, strategies to help with menopause! ### Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Learn about the stages of the menopausal process, including the physical and emotional changes that can occur. Understanding that these changes are a normal part of the aging process can reduce fear and uncertainty. ### Communicate. Openly discuss your experiences with trusted friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your journey can help you feel understood and less isolated. ### Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are essential for overall well-being. Physical activity can also help alleviate some of the symptoms associated with menopause. ### Practice mindfulness and stress reduction. Engage in mindfulness practices, meditation, or yoga to reduce stress and promote emotional balance. ### Seek professional help. If you find that the physical symptoms or mental health impacts significantly affect your quality of life, don’t hesitate to consult a healthcare professional or a therapist. They can provide guidance, support, and treatment options tailored to your needs. Menopause brings about a myriad of both physical and emotional challenges. But by understanding the timeline, physical symptoms, cognitive changes, and mental health impacts associated with these phases, you can better prepare for this transition. Utilizing strategies such as staying informed, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, will enable you to confidently embrace this new chapter and maintain your mental well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this journey! To connect with a therapist who specializes in menopause or how your hormones interact with your mental health, click here to book an appointment! **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** hormones, menopause, women's health --- ### [Eating Disorder Myths To Know](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/05/09/eating-disorder-myths/) **Published:** May 9, 2024 **Author:** AJ Sarbaugh, LMFT **Excerpt:** There are many myths about eating disorders. As a Health at Every Size therapist, there are many things I wish more people understood about eating disorders. Let's break down the four most common myths about eating disorders that cause harm. **Content:** By AJ Sarbaugh, LMFT, CEDS-S There are many myths about eating disorders. As a Health at Every Size therapist, there are many things I wish more people understood about eating disorders. Let’s break down the four most common myths about eating disorders that cause harm. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/DSC06506-683x1024.jpg) ## 4 Common Eating Disorder Myths Debunked ### You Cannot Tell if Someone has an Eating Disorder by how They Look Many people try to diagnose someone based on how they look or appear, or their body size and shape. They think because someone appears very thin they have Anorexia or if their face is swollen, they may have Bulimia. Instead, get curious. We can tell ourselves the lie that we would know if “things were bad enough” and then we would say something. Don’t wait and don’t rely on appearance as your only indicator. You can’t be the expert on someone’s weight gain, weight loss, weight cycling, medical status, nutritional intake et. You are also only getting a small sliver of the picture by relying on this data. If you feel concerned about a loved one’s relationship with food, get curious with them. Think about what resources could be available to them for support, and about how you can learn more. Ask them, straight up. Utilize curious and nonjudgmental language that shows you’re interested. “I’ve noticed \_\_\_\_, I know what kind of support would feel good to me in that situation, but want to make sure I give you the kind of support you need if you’re open to that. What support feels good to you? ” “You shared with me the other day that you’re struggling with purging (insert behavior), and I’ve been thinking more about it and am so glad you told me. What kind of support do you need around it?” ### Eating Disorders are Not a Choice People often make the assumption that eating disorders are choice based, and therefore should be “easy to get over” because people can learn to make different choices. This belief or assumption can feel isolating for those suffering. Eating disorders are complex mental health disorders. They can show up in many different ways, and for many different reasons, and serve many different functions. They develop as a result of many different genetic, social, economic, environmental, familial, co-occurring mental health diagnoses, and medical factors. Eating disorders have one of the highest mortality rates. There are multiple kinds. There are very nuanced presentation of symptoms within those diagnoses. We make choices as we choose to recover. ### Eating Disorders do not Discriminate Eating disorders are not just a woman’s issue. They are not for only people in certain body types. There are many people who identify as male, non-binary, transgender that have clinically diagnosed eating disorders/disordered eating. All humans can struggle with eating disorders. ### Food Does Not Cause Disordered Eating An eating disorder is not caused by sociocultural obsession with thinness. However, this can be a major factor in maintaining and stigmatizing disordered eating. Dieting (formal dieting history) is a major risk factor in the development of an eating disorder, but not everyone who struggles with an eating disorder has engaged in formal dieting practices. Eating disorder behaviors and symptoms are often disguised by dieting behaviors. We celebrate such behaviors in our society which makes it hard for people to ask for help. --- If you are concerned someone you know has an eating disorder, you can reach out to [National Eating Disorders Alliance ](https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/)for more support and resources. **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anorexia, BDD, BED, body dysmorphia, Body image, bulimia, orthorexia --- ### [How to Heal From Burnout without Breaking Down](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2020/06/09/battling-burnout/) **Published:** June 9, 2020 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![a set of burnt matches for article titled "what is burnout?"](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721441185239-1024x1024.jpg) If we can agree on anything these days I think it’s that most ***if not all*** of us are facing a degree of burnout. We’re in the midst of consuming information on horrific realities in our world on a daily basis, including (and unfortunately not limited to) the recent deaths of black and brown people, the ongoing police brutality against African Americans, and the COVID-19 pandemic. If we are experiencing a sense of exhaustion it’s understandable. ## What is burnout? Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. Our bodies are meant to handle **short** bursts of stress, not long term, which has been shown to have negative effects on the body. Ideally, stopping along the way to fill up your cup is what we’re after. This allows us to be preventative with burnout, and maintain a healthy quality of life day to day. Taking action to look after ourselves is not always easy or even obtainable at times. Our goal is not to be perfect about self-care. It is to learn your personal style of handling stress and your emotions, become mindful of signs you are burning out, and add in coping skills and resources to help. ## What Causes Burnout? Burnout is caused by **chronic stress**, not stressors. Stressors are external such as financial problems, to-do lists, and the state of the world we’re in today; and stress is the neurological and physiological shift that happens in your body when you encounter stressors. The impact of stress shows up as physical, mental/emotional, and behavioral symptoms. We have to address the stress itself if we want to effectively treat burnout. There are so many ways to “refuel” or “fill up your cup.” I know I have seen these messages and said them myself. However, there’s another piece I’d like to add into the conversation. It may sound basic, yet in practice, it’s profound. I’m talking about developing the skill of understanding and naming your emotions. Have you been feeling things deeply lately? Yeah, me too. You may be experiencing emotions in a more extreme way right now. Learning how to identify specific emotions you are feeling *bumps up your resiliency* to be accepting of where you’re at in the moment– as opposed to getting down on yourself. When we slow down we can validate ourselves, explore the situation deeper, and respond effectively. ## How to Heal Understanding how to regulate your emotions in the moment helps lower your vulnerability to burnout. This is not to say refueling in physical, social, and other psychological ways is not important. Knowing yourself on an emotional level builds up a trusting of yourself, which builds self-love. The very first step to emotion regulation? Learning how to identify and feel an emotion. How do we feel an emotion? 1\. **Observe your emotion**. Step back and just notice. I like to imagine my emotion move through me like a wave. Not blocking it, not holding on. Observe yourself without adding anything extra (creating a story about it, jumping into the past or future, acting on it). If you can name the emotion, do it. If you’re not sure, it’s ok to guess. 2\. **Check in with your body.** Notice where you are feeling emotional sensations, and then experience them as fully as you can. Continue observing yourself as you ride that wave. 3\. **Remember that you are not your emotion.** You don’t necessarily have to act from an emotional place, although at times it may be appropriate. It can help to remember times you have felt different. 4\. **Practice self-compassion**. Respect and don’t judge your emotion. Be willing to accept your state of mind right now. Practice loving your emotion, and yourself. ## Concluding Thoughts Addressing burnout means we need to shift our focus from outside to inside. We want to increase awareness of stressful emotions and anxiety so that we can better manage and control them. By adapting day-to-day tools to center your mind, slow down, and bring awareness and self-care to your heart and body, you can reduce your vulnerability to burnout. **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** burnout, stress relief --- ### [Mindfulness: How to Get in Touch With Your Thoughts & Senses](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/10/25/mindfulness-getting-in-touch-with-thoughts-sensations/) **Published:** October 25, 2023 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** It’s okay to think ahead and plan for the future. It’s also okay to look back and reflect on the past. This can be helpful and insightful…until it’s stressful and unproductive. Mindfulness is the innate ability to be present in the moment with your mind, body, and the space around you. ![therapist practicing mindfulness ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721435928775-683x1024.jpg) ## What is Mindfulness? I like to relate Mindfulness to being in touch with the thoughts in your mind, the sensations in your body, and your senses. And incorporating Mindfulness into your daily routine doesn’t have to be complicated! Here is a straightforward exercise that you can use anywhere, anytime. Try this: ### Think about your thoughts. What are your thoughts saying? Are you worried about what happened at work? Maybe you are you thinking about what that text message *really* meant? Are you looking forward to seeing a friend later? **Help yourself notice the thoughts without judgment and be curious about them and what they could mean.** ### Start to notice your body. Do you feel tension in your body? What are your energy levels like? Are you tapping your leg? Are you clenching your jaw? **This isn’t a sign to change anything, but instead, notice how your body is responding to the moment.** ### Touch on your senses. What color is the wall in front of you? Are you touching something? Is it hot, cold, soft, itchy? What do you hear? Is there music on? Do you hear traffic or birds chirping? Can you smell anything? Is there a candle burning, or are you wearing perfume? Have you had a drink of water lately? Is your coffee bitter or sweet? Is your drink hot or iced? **What do you see around you?** ### Look at the space around you. Touch what is available to you. Listen to what you’re hearing. Smell something good. Taste something refreshing. When we’re [anxious or overwhelmed](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/anxiety/), it’s easy to forget about what is right in front of you. Taking the time to pause and be present with your thoughts and feelings can support self-regulation and grounding. Mindfulness is already there for you… are you open to tapping in? **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** mindfulness, stress relief, yoga --- ### [5 Important Tips to Reduce Dentist and Doctor Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/01/24/reducing-dentist-and-doctor-anxiety/) **Published:** January 24, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Do you struggle with dentist or doctor anxiety? Many of us have gotten out of the habit of seeing our dentists and doctors over the past year because of the pandemic. Many people experience anxiety about going to the dentist or doctor, but with the pandemic this has gotten even worse. Dentists are reporting that the pandemic has been especially difficult on our teeth as many of us have skipped the dentist the past year and have also taken to clenching or grinding our teeth to deal with stress. ![Dentist examining woman who has anxiety ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721435011735-683x1024.jpg) ## Do you struggle with anxiety about going to the doctor or dentist? You aren’t alone! If you struggle, it is extremely. Here are some things you can do. If you have never been to see this provider before, call them before going and let them know what you are dealing with. Share that you are nervous about going or have anxiety. If you have not been to the doctor or dentist in a long time, share this with them. Then, you can see if their reaction is supportive or judgmental before you book your appointment. Ask the receptionist if they have a recommendation of which provider at the practice is most understanding. You can also ask them if they have any recommendations or things, they can do to make your appointment easier or more comfortable. For example, some doctors may recommend you take an earlier appointment in the day so they can spend more time with you. Some dentists will let you know if they have TV or other distractions to make your appointment easier. If you struggle with calling to make an appointment, try a provider who uses an online booking system. You can check out the app ZocDoc which allows you to make all your appointments online. Anxiety can make us want to cancel our appointment and back out at the last minute. However, it’s important to remember that avoiding something only makes our anxiety temporarily better. Over time, when you chronically avoid doing something, you will actually feel more anxious over time. ## If you are someone who has a history of cancelling, here are some ideas that may make it less tempting. 1\. See if you can have a friend or family member go with you. Tell loved ones about your appointment and ask them to check in with you before and after to help keep you accountable 2\. Write out all the excuses you may come up with in order to cancel. Try to eliminate any excuse. For example, give yourself plenty of time before and after, or make sure they take your insurance before you book. 3\. Bring things to do in the waiting room or during your appointment (for the dentist), bring headphones, a book, something to fidget with so you can distract yourself. 4\. Try to envision how good it is going to feel to after your appointment completed 5\. Once you find a provider you like, get into the habit of setting up follow up appointments when you are at the office rather. This will make it more likely you go and help you get into the habit of going regularly. Would you try any of these? At Therapy for Women, we are here to help you work through your anxiety about a variety of situations, including seeing the dentist, doctor or other appointments. [Contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact) to learn more or get started! **Categories:** Anxiety **Tags:** dentist --- ### [Hygge: A New Approach to SAD Season](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/11/18/hygge-a-new-approach-to-sad-season/) **Published:** November 18, 2022 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/candles-2332674_1280-682x1024.jpg) Have you heard of the word Hygge? It is a Danish word that loosely means to get cozy and embrace the cold weather. If you struggle with [seasonal affective disorder](https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/seasonal-affective-disorder) like us, hygge is a great approach. It is easy to forget how hard SAD can hit us. Fall turns into winter so quickly and when daylight savings time ends, we can plummet into depression. If you feel dread you aren’t alone. Keep reading to learn a new approach for how to deal with the winter blues. ## Seasonal Affective Disorder can feel easy to delay at first with all of the distractions. First comes planning fall activities and participating in spooky season- throwing on a comfy sweater and watching Halloween for the millionth time. Then come the holidays- decorations light up dark evenings, and Netflix releases an onslaught of corny movies with actors from our childhood falling in love. The promise of newness and a clean slate soon stares us down as we ring in the New Year. But then… it’s just darkness. Cold and dreary days with dirty snow-lined streets, no longer filled with the magic of holiday spirit. It is only the first few weeks of fall, and I’m already dreading these long winter days. If you are like us and have tried every trick in the book, it may be time to try something new. ## This year, try something different. Due to the months of darkness in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark, Scandinavians are experts at making winter less miserable. They’ve decided to lean into the darkness and cold and find comfort in the little things that bring joy. I’ve been reading more about this practice called [hygge](https://denmark.dk/people-and-culture/hygge). The Danish concept, pronounced hoo-guh, has no direct translation to English, but its closest descriptor would be “cozy.” Imagine a cabin off the grid lit with fairy lights and candles, giving a soft, warm glow. In the corner is a mountain of blankets and pillows to snuggle up and watch a movie in. There’s warm bread in the oven and a fire crackling while you’re wrapped in your favorite sweater and slippers. I’m often reminded of how Taylor Swift’s album Folklore made me feel when it first came out. During the dark days of winter 2020, we’d light candles and take steaming hot showers in the dark while listening to the soft, relatable music that warmed my heart. As therapists, a great deal of the work we do is helping people learn to experience the present moment. While staying present can be really scary and anxiety-inducing, it’s also where the magic happens. Being present is how we experience joy and pleasure. Pleasure in the food we are eating, the company we are keeping, and the memories we are making. Hygge is more of a feeling than a word. It’s about the experience, getting lost in the moment, and being content by experiencing simplicity with intentional interaction and gratitude. ## Hygge is mindfulness in everyday actions. So this year, try not to resist the season. Along with continuing the usual recommendations try to lean into the comfy, cozy attitude of hygge. It will be all fuzzy socks and blankets, moisturizers, mugs of tea, warm lights, feel-good books, TV, and comfort food. Just like the Earth, our bodies have seasons. This winter, if your body tells me it’s time to slow down or say no and stay inside, stop beating myself up for not being able to “beat” the darkness. Go light a candle, listen to some TSwift, throw a flannel on, and re-watch your favorite comfort show. I hope you’ll join us! Check out the following book recommendations to learn more how to embrace the season and combat seasonal affective disorder. [The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well](https://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Hygge-Danish-Secrets/dp/0062658808) by Meik Wiking [The Hygge Game – Cozy Conversation In Pleasant Company](https://www.amazon.com/Hygge-Game-Conversation-Pleasant-Company/dp/B0778X7GNL/ref=asc_df_B0778X7GNL/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312128107912&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6982029036027140635&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007332&hvtargid=pla-493328043770&psc=1) [The Hygge Activity Book For All Seasons](https://www.amazon.com/Hygge-Activity-Book-All-Seasons/dp/B086FPXSPD/ref=asc_df_B086FPXSPD/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=475866653660&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6982029036027140635&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007332&hvtargid=pla-907054887504&psc=1) --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Contact us, or get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Depression **Tags:** SAD, seasonal affective disorder --- ### [How to Work Through Trauma and Its Neurological Effects](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2024/07/22/neurological-effects-of-trauma/) **Published:** July 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** Trauma — a severely distressing and emotional experience — can have long-lasting effects for one’s mental and emotional well-being. Trauma presents differently in everyone. It may result from neglect, abuse, accidents, natural disasters, or experiencing forms of violence. ![woman holding hands over chest for article on effects of trauma ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721506185821.jpg) Either way, the side effects of trauma are more than just psychological; in fact, the effects on the brain are equally significant. ## The Neurological Effects of Trauma Trauma impacts normal functioning by altering brain chemistry and specific parts of the brain structure, such as the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. All these parts combined can affect memory, behavior, and the ability to regulate emotions. ### The Amygdala The amygdala is a small structure in the brain that plays a role in processing and understanding emotions, memory recollection, and also controls the fear response. When someone experiences trauma, the amygdala goes into overdrive. They become more sensitive to stimuli, anxiously fearing a trigger of their experience. Due to changes in the amygdala, individuals may perceive threats in non-threatening situations. ### The Hippocampus The hippocampus is responsible for forming new memories and learning information. Trauma actually causes the hippocampus to shrink, which ultimately impairs memory to where individuals may struggle with distinguishing between past and present experiences. This symptom is also known as flashbacks, and is a common sign of PTSD. ### The Prefrontal Cortex The prefrontal cortex is responsible for higher-level functioning, such as decision-making, social behaviors, and emotional regulation. Trauma can weaken the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, leading to irrational fears that may be difficult for the individual to overcome. Triggers can have a devastating effect, and cause an inability to regulate emotions once in a heightened state. ## The Stress Response System The stress response system, also known as the “fight or flight” system, is chronically activated after a trauma experience. Our brains are not meant to live in this state, so it can have drastic effects on physical and psychological health. ### Elevated Cortisol Levels Cortisol, also known as the “stress hormone,” is released during times of perceived danger. After experiencing trauma, cortisol is present at high levels in the body, and can lead to: - Fatigue - Irritability - Headaches - Digestive or intestinal issues - Increased blood pressure - Weight gain - Anxiety and depression - Cardiovascular diseases ### Immune System Suppression Chronic stress can weaken the immune system. This causes individuals to be more susceptible to diseases and illnesses, which can contribute to an increase in mental health symptoms. Our bodies naturally produce white blood cells to fight off infections, however, with a high stress level, cortisol suppresses the production of these cells, making it more difficult for healing. ### Neuroinflammation Neuroinflammation is inflammation of the nervous system tissue found in the brain. Because of this, individuals are more at risk for developing mental disorders like anxiety or depression. It can also lead to long-term neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s. ## Trauma Recovery Trauma does not necessarily mean free from trauma symptoms, however, there is hope for emotional stability and wellness. One of the best ways to recover and heal from traumatic experiences would be to engage in different forms of therapy. ### Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) CBT is one of the most common therapeutic approaches, and it involves individuals learning to identify and challenge their negative thought patterns. Professionals help understand the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and teach effective coping skills to help with emotional regulation. ### Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) EMDR is a method that has been specifically designed for trauma healing. It involves thinking of traumatic memories while practicing body stimulations, such as eye movement. This process helps with reprocessing to reduce their emotional intensity when experiencing trauma triggers. ### Mindfulness Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help with emotional processing and regulation, as well as being present and grounded in reality. This, along with therapy, can be great tools to utilize for overcoming trauma and beginning to heal. Contact us today to schedule an appointment! --- To learn more about [trauma therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/trauma/) and book an appointment with one of our trauma specialists, [click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/)! **Categories:** Trauma **Tags:** bilateral stimulation, EMDR, PTSD --- ### [Not Drinking Tonight, Introducing Amanda's Book!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2021/10/01/not-drinking-tonight/) **Published:** October 1, 2021 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/NotDrinkingTonight_IGCoverReveal2-2-1024x1024.png) I am so excited to share that the Not Drinking Tonight book… is officially available for preorder! This book is really my manifesto. It may be about alcohol, but I can guarantee you, every one of us will benefit from this book. It talks about alcohol use as a symptom of much deeper rooted issues (some mental health wise, some biological, some evolutionary and of course, how our society impacts us). ## Here is the official blurb. I cannot wait for you to read it! When “retired party girl” and popular therapist Amanda White admitted she was an alcoholic, it wasn’t because she’d done something outrageous while under the influence, like land herself in jail or get married in Vegas. It was because she realized three things: 1. Alcohol was making her life worse. 2. Moderation wasn’t helping. 3. She could not be a therapist if she continued to use alcohol to numb her life. Something needed to change—not just her relationship with alcohol, but her relationship with herself. Choosing not to drink can be daunting. It’s everywhere in our culture, our socializing, and our de-stressing. It can also seem black or white: you drink, or you don’t (and if you don’t, people ask why). That’s where *Not Drinking Tonight* comes in. Judgement-free and relatable, Amanda helps you unpack your relationship with alcohol by showing you how to: 1. **Find out why you drink.** Whether it’s a glass of wine after work or a weekly bar crawl, your drinking habits can be the result of everything from biology to trauma. 2. **Heal your relationship with alcohol.** Understand how your relationships have been affecting your life, and learn how to set boundaries and create true self care. 3. **Build the sober life you love.** Learn what comes next—how to maintain your social life, navigate sex and relationships, and love yourself. *Not Drinking Tonight* isn’t a program to stop drinking. It’s the first book to help you address the *root issues* that cause you to reach for a drink, and create a life you love—one that is not perfect, but is messy and real and one you are fully present for. [Click here to order it!](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Drinking-Tonight-Guide-Creating/dp/0306925850/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2WSQM4KM1HPK9&keywords=not+drinking+tonight&qid=1636045716&sprefix=not+drinking%2Caps%2C173&sr=8-1) --- *Amanda is Therapy for Women’s founder and Executive Director. To learn more about Amanda, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/amanda-e-white-lpc).* **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** not drinking tonight --- ### [Why Do We Love Taylor Swift and How Does Her Music Impact our Mental Health?](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/10/27/why-does-taylor-swift-resonate-so-deeply/) **Published:** October 27, 2022 **Author:** Therapy For Women Center **Content:** ![Photo of Taylor Swift ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imresizer-1721439444157-683x1024.jpg) It’s interesting to grow up with Taylor Swift and experience various milestones and heartbreaks along with her. *Folklore* and *Evermore* were incredibly important to me. So, the folky, soft lyrics that felt like warm candlelight became a source of comfort and helped me get through the darkest parts of COVID-19. I never anticipated that her new album, *Midnights*, would resonate so profoundly with me too. Now I ask everyone I know, “Have you listened? What are your top three favorite tracks?” ## This is my personality for the next few weeks, so please bear with me… What is it about Taylor Swift that resonates with us so deeply? As a sex and couples therapist, I feel that Taylor provides a therapeutic tool for understanding our emotions. Admitting that you still have strong feelings about a past relationship can be taboo. But the reality is intimate relationships change and shape us. Sex and love are essential parts of our identity. It would be nearly impossible to differentiate who we are as people without the relationships we experience. Taylor sings freely about heartbreak, allowing us to express our feelings without feeling guilt or shame. From a therapeutic standpoint, she provides a perfect platform for us to identify and express these feelings with words. Taylor has also long provided insight into heartbreak, betrayal, and yearning. *Red* was an album for the sad girly in all of us. “Forgetting him is like trying to know somebody you never met.” When we share parts of ourselves with others, we share the good and the bad. We share the parts of us we might want to forget and the parts that we want to celebrate. Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and loved for who they are at their core. Good or bad, falling in love requires vulnerability. That part of us is why we make certain decisions, have specific desires, communicate our needs, or don’t. To experience love at its most intimate is to bare ourselves to the person we seek that deep connection with. ## *All Too Well* returned with a vengeance this year. *All Too Well* (Taylor’s version, the 10-minute one) reminds us of feeling sure that we had found the person who made us feel like enough. When it ended, we were left wondering, “did the twin flame bruise paint you blue, just between us did the love affair maim you too”? In other words, was I the only one to experience this hurt? Did you ever care about me the way I did you? I’ve heard countless clients (and my own brain) wonder why it seemed so easy for their ex to move on. Feeling like a “crumpled up piece of paper” and just wanting reassurance that we were significant enough to be sad over. Before diving into her new album, I want to highlight some of the Taylor Swift lyrics that stick with me personally and professionally. In her song “Better Man,” Taylor sings, “I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand, but I just miss you, and I wish you were a better man.” How many of us have ended a relationship, looked back, and wished things could be different? The if onlys pile up. Why is it essential for us to acknowledge that these feelings are widely experienced and familiar? Because knowing we aren’t alone is validating. ## The lyrics in *Mastermind* continue to reverberate in my brain. “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since to makethem love me and make it seem effortless.” I’ve spent 15 years in therapy trying to erase the hurt I felt as a child who experienced bullying and struggled with my body, sex, friends, and identity. As an adult, I’ve made many mistakes in relationships. I’d be lying if I didn’t play “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” more times than I can count already, scream-singing, “I regret you all the time.” ## With the release of *Midnights*, there has been much commentary on how Taylor Swift presents herself to the world. She has even stated that she sometimes doesn’t feel like a person, as if her life isn’t hers. As a therapist, I see in her lyrics the struggle of working through years of trauma. Work that we don’t have the right to see or understand. She doesn’t owe us any explanations–she is allowed to be human. I’ve seen posts about Taylor singing about an ex from over a decade ago and how she needs to move on. This music is where I see the beauty in someone allowing us to feel raw over moments that changed us. For those who have done trauma work in therapy or who are trauma-informed, Taylor Swift lyrics might not feel groundbreaking. Still, for those who work with people and know how our bodies and minds respond to trauma and pain, Taylor gives us a voice. She gives us something to turn toward and say, “See?? You’re not crazy! Your feelings are valid, and you are not alone.” --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Therapy for Women **Tags:** Taylor Swift --- ### [Introducing Amanda's new book...Not Drinking Tonight: The Workbook](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/01/09/not-drinking-tonight-amandas-new-workbook/) **Published:** January 9, 2023 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Stills_By_Hernan_Mike_Amanda_Newborn_00289-682x1024.jpg) I am so excited to share that my new book, *Not Drinking Tonight: The Workbook,* is officially available everywhere books are sold! Though I specifically designed it for therapists, this workbook will benefit anyone wanting to dig deeper into why they drink. And while it focuses on alcohol, think of alcohol as the portal to addressing a variety of deeper issues. It applies to all behaviors we use to numb our emotions, including eating disorders, diet culture, hustle culture, and more. I took my last drink over eight years ago when there was no such thing as sober curiosity. You were either an alcoholic or you weren’t. I didn’t think I was an alcoholic, but I knew I couldn’t continue drinking the way I was either. *Not Drinking Tonight: The Workbook* pivots away from the question, “am I an alcoholic?” and instead asks you to consider, “would your life be better without alcohol?” Most of us are never given the opportunity to ask this, let alone figure it out. Each chapter contains worksheets and exercises that will help you examine why you drink with the same freedom and lack of stigma that we question our sleep patterns or food choices. ## Learn to… 1\. Regulate emotions without alcohol 2\. Set and maintain healthy boundaries 3\. Redefine what authentic self-care looks like 4\. Navigate sober socializing, dating, and sex 5\. Create a relapse prevention plan 6\. BUILD A SOBER LIFE YOU LOVE! *Not Drinking Tonight: The Workbook* isn’t a program to stop drinking. It’s the first workbook designed to help you address the root issues that cause you to reach for a drink and create a life you love—one that is not perfect but is messy and real and one you are fully present for! I emphasize this because I genuinely believe \*every\* one of you find it massively useful. Regardless of where you are on the sobriety spectrum, rethinking your relationship with alcohol is a brave and revolutionary act. It’s a journey that will lead you to know yourself more deeply and discover what truly matters to you. I am proud of this workbook and cannot wait to hear how you take the tools out of the book and into your life. I hope you will find it to be a supportive guide you can return to again and again. [Grab your copy here.](https://www.amazon.com/Not-Drinking-Tonight-Workbook_A-Relationship/dp/168373551X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1VW8PB3UMMTGJ&keywords=not+drinking+tonight+the+workbook&qid=1673293262&sprefix=not+drinking+tonight+the+workbook%2Caps%2C100&sr=8-1) Cheers to a life you don’t need to escape! ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Screen-Shot-2023-01-09-at-2.54.30-PM-300x87.png) --- Amanda is Therapy for Women’s founder and Executive Director. To learn more about Amanda, read her bio [here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/amanda-e-white-lpc). **Categories:** Substance Use Disorders **Tags:** anxiety, depression, eating disorders, mental health, self care --- ### [How to Cope with Poor Body Image This Summer](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2023/05/18/body-image-summer-survival-guide/) **Published:** May 18, 2023 **Author:** Erika Pranzo, LPC **Content:** Let’s talk about summer body image. Finally, it’s over 70 degrees in Philly. It’s time to open the windows, feel the sun on your skin, wear sundresses, and hate every picture you take. Stop right there- not this year!! ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/TFWC_MiscGroup-60-683x1024.jpg) Our mental health often improves as the temperature gets warmer and the days get longer. However, stress surrounding summer body image can also surface. We naturally wear less clothing in the summer to keep up with higher temperatures. But less clothing means exposing more skin and fewer opportunities to “hide” everything we’ve deemed hateable. At the same time, many of us also attend more social events because people finally want to get out and enjoy the weather! With less clothing, more social events, and countless social media platforms to document it all, how can we cope with body image this summer? Here is my list of tips for you to practice: ## Normalize the stress surrounding body image. Step one is normalizing your stress. You are not alone- unfortunately, many people, especially women, dread shorts season because they struggle with body image. It is essential to acknowledge the stress and send compassion to it. [Dr. Kristen Neff](https://self-compassion.org/) has spent her life researching [self-compassion](https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/), and her research has shown time and time again that when we realize we are not alone in our struggles, we feel better. She recommends reminding yourself, “Most people would feel stressed in this situation, and that’s OK.” ## Buy clothes that fit and feel good. How many times have you said, “Oh, but I’ll lose weight and be able to wear this again.” Body sizes fluctuate, so if something does sometimes fit, OK. But otherwise, I recommend just getting rid of it! It is more likely to make you feel bad about body image and lower your motivation. Go shopping (physically go to the store to try things on)! Find something that fits YOUR body and makes you feel good. You are more likely to be happier, more motivated, and more confident wearing things that fit your body well and comfortably. ## Take photos of things and places, not your body. Of course, we all want photos of ourselves to reflect on, but how many do we need? Try to shift your focus toward taking pictures of the cool places you go, that gorgeous $7 latte, and other things that make you happy this summer. These moments are important. When you do take photos of yourself, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it is just a photo. ## Practice body gratitude. Acknowledge everything your body does for you! How many steps do your legs allow you to take a day? What words will your mouth and throat enable you to say? Those “not perfect” abs allow you to hold your body up throughout the day. When we take a step back and realize that our bodies are the vehicles that we have and use to engage with the world, sometimes we are able to give them more credit than usual. ## Practice acceptance and body neutrality. You are so much more than your body. Your body is the physical form of everything within you. You have thoughts, feelings, intelligence & creativity, and a million more exciting traits than your waist size! Most of us know and understand all of this, but it can be hard to make peace with. Why? Because hating ourselves is profitable…but that’s a topic for another blog post! At the end of the day, your body is a body. You don’t have to love it, and you definitely do not have to hate it. Although everyone’s body image journey and needs are unique, these tips can help pretty much anyone, and I hope they help you! --- *Erika Pranzo, LPC is [a virtual therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/erika-pranzo-lpc/) at Therapy for Women . To learn more about Erika or book an appointment, [click here](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/erika-pranzo-lpc/)!* **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anxiety, depression, eating disorders, mental health, self care --- ### [MoodLinks & RecoveryRecord](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/2022/08/17/moodlinks-recoveryrecord/) **Published:** August 17, 2022 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Content:** ## Keeping treatment relevant, timely, and on track. ![](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/220_Amanda_TFW_Branding_Oct_4_2019_CeliaR_EDIT_0592-683x1024.jpg) Therapy doesn’t need to be old school. At Therapy for Women, we believe in working to remain at the forefront of therapy techniques, methods, and technologies so we can best support our clients. Which is why we are proud to announce our use of [MoodLinks](https://www.moodlinks.com/) and [RecoveryRecord](https://www.recoveryrecord.com/) to deliver superior, life-changing care. MoodLinks is designed to help stay connected between sessions. It provides the opportunity for clients to engage with evidence-based interventions outside of their therapist’s office in high risk moments. It also integrates cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy approaches into clients’ everyday life and visualizes progress for their specialists to deliver more personalized care. ## MoodLinks… MoodLinks allows clients to navigate their own unique paths to managing mood and receiving support on an ongoing basis. Clients can connect with their specialists for in-app support. They can also receive daily inspiration, plan ahead for triggering events, and access over 100 strategies for managing anxiety, depression, and stress. True transformation starts with a genuine therapist-client connection, which starts with authenticity. MoodLinks helps Therapy for Women providers do so. *“I love that I can give praise in the app that clients can see before our next session together,”* says [Gabrielle Salomone](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/gabby-salomone-lcsw), LCSW, Clinical Director of Therapy for Women. ## RecoveryRecord… Similar to MoodLinks, RecoveryRecord is a space for those specifically struggling with eating disorders. It allows clients to log meals and take notes in a live journal, which their therapist has access to. There are active coping skills built into the app, along with evidence based scales that highlight progress. *“Often, with eating disorders, clients feel isolated,”* says [Salomone](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/gabby-salomone-lcsw). *“This app allows me to check in on them between appointments. I can see when my client has challenged themselves. I can see when they are having a bad day. And I can send reminders and affirmations to them.”* If you would like more information about MoodLinks and RecoveryRecord, or if you would like to begin using one of the apps with your therapist, reach out to us! --- *Looking for a therapist or unsure where to begin? Get started on our [booking page](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/book-appointment).* **Categories:** Eating Disorders **Tags:** anxiety, depression, eating disorders, mental health --- ## Pages ### [Home](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/) **Published:** April 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC --- ### [OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ocd-therapy/) **Published:** June 13, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Eating Disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/eating-disorder-therapy/) **Published:** June 13, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [About Amanda](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/amanda-e-white/) **Published:** October 30, 2025 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Pennsylvania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/pennsylvania/) **Published:** October 13, 2025 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/new-jersey/) **Published:** October 13, 2025 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Florida](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/florida-therapist/) 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**Published:** June 11, 2026 **Author:** angela **Content:** Therapy For Women Center is committed to making our website’s content accessible for everyone regardless of technology or ability, including those with mobility, visual, and hearing impairments. We have built our site in compliance with WCAG-2.2 criteria, which are widely regarded as the international authority in website accessibility guidelines. ### *Ongoing Efforts* Ensuring website accessibility is an ongoing process. We regularly conduct audits to the Therapy For Women Center website to ensure that all updates are made according to evolving accessibility standards. We welcome feedback from users with disabilities to make sure you can successfully navigate our content with or without the use of assistive technologies like screen readers, alternative keyboards, and voice recognition software. We make a continuous effort to ensure that those using our website can navigate it regardless of which assistive devices they are using. *A few of the features we regularly audit for accessibility:* - Color contrast & text styles - Links & navigation - Form inputs & labels - Alternative text & captions - Keyboard navigation - Heading hierarchy ### *Feedback* **We’re here to help.** We continually make adjustments as we gain more insight into how to best serve our readers. If you are having difficulty viewing the content on our website, please [contact us](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact/) for assistance. --- ### [Specialties](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialties/) **Published:** June 5, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Services](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/services/) **Published:** June 5, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Walk and Talk Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/walk-and-talk-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Somatic Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/somatic-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Nutrition](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/nutrition-counseling/) **Published:** June 16, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [IFS Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/ifs-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Gottman Method](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/gottman-method/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [ERP Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/erp-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [DBT Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/dbt-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [CBT Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/cbt-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [About](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/about/) **Published:** June 5, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Modalities](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapy-modalities/) **Published:** October 4, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Get Started](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/get-started/) **Published:** July 21, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Books](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/books/) **Published:** December 16, 2025 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Contact](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/contact/) **Published:** June 20, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Thank you!](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/thank-you/) **Published:** October 10, 2024 **Author:** jennifer **Content:** We received your form submission and will be in touch within 1 business day. Feel free to email us <info@therapyforwomencenter.com> with any questions. --- ### [Events](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/events/) **Published:** August 20, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [Schedule a Complimentary Call](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/call/) **Published:** July 30, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ### [All Posts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/all-posts/) **Published:** June 28, 2024 **Author:** jennifer --- ## Therapists ### [Aleksandra Freiling, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/aleksandra-freiling-lcsw/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, EMDR, Grief, Life Transitions, PTSD, Relationship Issues, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Arizona, Massachusetts, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Utah --- ### [Sydney Ciarrocchi, LPC, CCTP](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/sydney-ciarrocchi-lpc-cctp/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, LGBTQ+, PTSD, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Arizona, Florida, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Catalina Martinez](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/catalina-martinez/) **Published:** May 11, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Tags:** intern **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues **States:** Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Ashley Mikyska](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/ashley-mikyska/) **Published:** July 27, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Tags:** intern **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Sex Therapy, Trauma **States:** Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Lindsay Klenk](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/lindsay-klenk/) **Published:** July 27, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Tags:** intern **Locations:** Main Line, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Grief, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Teens, Trauma **States:** Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Melissa Huff Smoldt, LPC, LMHC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/melissa-huff-smoldt-lpc-lmhc/) **Published:** June 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, EMDR, Family Therapy, Life Transitions, Parenthood, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** Delaware, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas --- ### [Arielle Cosgrove, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/arielle-cosgrove-lcsw/) **Published:** June 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Family Therapy, Grief, Life Transitions, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Taylor Pearl, MS, LAC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/taylor-pearl-ba/) **Published:** August 21, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Collingswood NJ, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, EMDR, Life Transitions, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Dr. Kelly Bradley, PsyD, HSPP](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/kelly-bradley/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** jennifer **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, Washington DC, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming --- ### [Hannah L. Smith, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/hannah-l-smith/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Gillian Cedrone, LAPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/gillian-cedrone/) **Published:** April 22, 2025 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Main Line, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Julie Belling, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/julie-belling-lcsw/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Chronic Pain/Illness, Depression, EMDR, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, PTSD, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Teens, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania, Virginia --- ### [Lauren Berardo, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/lauren-berardo-lcsw/) **Published:** June 19, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Main Line, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, EMDR, Grief, Life Transitions, OCD, Parenthood, PTSD, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Julia Johnston, LPCC, LICDC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/julia-johnston-lpcc-licdc/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Parenthood, Peri/Postpartum, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Florida, Georgia, Minnesota, Ohio --- ### [Mary Dever, LSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/mary-denver/) **Published:** October 21, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Collingswood NJ, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, OCD, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Teens, Trauma **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Beth Krieger, LAMFT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/beth-krieger/) **Published:** October 1, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Tags:** EMDR **Locations:** Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, EMDR, Family Therapy, Grief, Life Transitions, Parenthood, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Teens, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Valerie Rivera, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/valerie-rivera-lpc-ncc/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Children, Depression, Family Therapy, Life Transitions, Parenthood, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Teens **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Ashley Gyuriska, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/ashley-gyuriska-ma-ncc/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Main Line, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, OCD, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Teens, Trauma **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Becca Adleberg, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/becca-adleberg-lpc/) **Published:** June 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, EMDR, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, OCD, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Teens, Trauma **States:** Florida, Pennsylvania, Vermont --- ### [Zara Khan, MS, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/zara-khan-ms-lpc/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Kayla Bradshaw, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/kayla-bradshaw-lcsw/) **Published:** April 2, 2026 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Collingswood NJ, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, Life Transitions, PTSD, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Trauma **States:** New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania --- ### [Hannah McGrath, MDiv, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/hannah-mcgrath-ma-mdiv/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Center City, PA, Main Line, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Faith Transitions, Life Transitions, OCD, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Florida, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Sanvi Beri, LPCC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/sanvi-beri-lpcc/) **Published:** March 31, 2026 **Author:** jennifer **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, PTSD, Relationship Issues, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** California --- ### [Sam Dalton, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/sam-dalton-lcsw/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Faith Transitions, Life Transitions, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, Utah, Virginia --- ### [Jessica Pinti Dunson, LMHC, LCAS](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/jessica-pinti-dunson-lmhc-lcas/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Life Transitions, Parenthood, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Substance Use, Trauma **States:** Arizona, Florida, North Carolina --- ### [Chris Turpyn, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/chris-turpyn-lpc/) **Published:** June 22, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief, LGBTQ+, Life Transitions, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage **States:** Colorado, Florida, Missouri, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Vermont --- ### [Jules Choe-Castillo, LSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/julia-choe-castillo/) **Published:** January 13, 2025 **Author:** angela **Locations:** Main Line, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, Life Transitions, Parenthood, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Megan Gaughan, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/megan-gaughan/) **Published:** October 15, 2025 **Author:** angela **Locations:** Center City, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Grief, Life Transitions, Parenthood, PCOS, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Teens, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Fernanda Valentin, LMFT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/fernanda-formel-lmft/) **Published:** June 19, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, Family Therapy, Life Transitions, Parenthood, PCOS, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Sex Therapy **States:** Florida, New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [AJ Sarbaugh, LMFT, CEDS](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/aj-sarbaugh-lmft-ceds/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief, Parenthood, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, Trauma **States:** California, Colorado, Texas --- ### [Gabrielle Salomone, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/gabby-salomone-lcsw/) **Published:** June 19, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Collingswood NJ, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Eating Disorders, EMDR, OCD **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania --- ### [Jess Heymann, LCSW](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/jess-heymann-lsw/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Amanda White, LPC **Locations:** Main Line, PA, Old City, PA, Virtual **Specialties:** Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Life Transitions, PTSD, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem, Trauma **States:** Pennsylvania --- ### [Erika Pranzo, LPC](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/erika-pranzo-lpc/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** angela **Locations:** Virtual **Specialties:** ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief, Life Transitions, OCD, Peri/Postpartum, Relationship Issues, Self Esteem **States:** New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Texas --- ## Categories ### [Eating Disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/eating-disorders/) **Description:** Whether you are struggling with an eating disorder, or looking to make peace with food and your body, our specialized therapists can help you regain your life! --- ### [Substance Use Disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/substance-use-disorders/) **Description:** Are you struggling with drinking too much? Our therapists specialize in a harm reduction and non stigmatized approach to alcohol and substance use. --- ### [Trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/trauma/) **Description:** Our trauma-informed therapists share tips and resources for healing after trauma, touching on topics such as EMDR, childhood trauma, flashbacks, and self care. --- ### [Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/anxiety/) **Description:** Is anxiety preventing you from living your life to the fullest? Maybe your life looks great on paper, but you feel something is missing. Our anxiety specialties are here to help! --- ### [Depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/depression/) **Description:** Depression can rob you of your ability to feel joy. Our therapists use Behavioral Activation, DBT, and CBT to help you recover and start living the life you deserve. --- ### [OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/ocd/) **Description:** Contrary to popular belief, OCD is not just a love of being organized. OCD can seriously impact your quality of life. We use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), known as gold standard of OCD treatment. --- ### [LGBTQ+](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/lgbtq/) **Description:** LGBTQ+ folks are more likely to struggle with their mental health due to stigma and discrimination. Our therapists personally understand and are here to support you --- ### [Therapy for Women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/therapy-for-women/) **Description:** Women face unique mental health struggles due to our patriarchal society. We specialize in women’s issues, such as motherhood, dating, postpartum, infertility and more. --- ### [Therapy for Teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/therapy-for-teens/) **Description:** Teens are facing more mental health struggles than ever these days. We equip teens with the skills and support they need in order to build confidence and thrive. --- ### [Grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/grief/) **Description:** Are you struggling with grief? Our therapists specialize in all types of grief, including miscarriage, divorce and other major life changes or losses, so you can start feeling better! --- ### [Relationships](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/relationships/) **Description:** Whether it’s anxiety about a new relationship, setting boundaries with family members, or whether to pursue couples’ counseling, our therapists are here to answer your questions and help you strengthen your relationships. --- ### [ADHD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/category/adhd/) **Description:** Comprehensive ADHD treatment for women including therapy and/or psychiatry. --- ## Tags ### [anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/anxiety/) --- ### [acceptance and commitment therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/) --- ### [DBT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/dbt/) --- ### [depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/depression/) --- ### [mindfulness](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/mindfulness/) --- ### [DBT skills](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/dbt-skills/) --- ### [eating disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/eating-disorders/) --- ### [substance use disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/substance-use-disorders/) --- ### [self care](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/self-care/) --- ### [health at every size](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/health-at-every-size/) --- ### [mental health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/mental-health/) --- ### [grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/grief/) --- ### [Parenthood](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/parenthood/) --- ### [real talk](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/real-talk/) --- ### [worry](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/worry/) --- ### [compassion](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/compassion/) --- ### [alternative therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/alternative-therapy/) --- ### [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/emdr/) --- ### [trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trauma/) --- ### [bilateral stimulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bilateral-stimulation/) --- ### [PTSD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ptsd/) --- ### [HSP](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/hsp/) --- ### [Body image](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/body-image/) --- ### [body dysmorphia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/body-dysmorphia/) --- ### [bulimia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bulimia/) --- ### [anorexia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/anorexia/) --- ### [orthorexia](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/orthorexia/) --- ### [teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/teens/) --- ### [yoga](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/yoga/) --- ### [stress relief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/stress-relief/) --- ### [back to school](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/back-to-school/) --- ### [current events](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/current-events/) --- ### [Taylor Swift](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/taylor-swift/) --- ### [books](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/books/) --- ### [virtual therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/virtual-therapy/) --- ### [not drinking tonight](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/not-drinking-tonight/) --- ### [couples therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/couples-therapy/) --- ### [gottman method](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/gottman-method/) --- ### [couples counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/couples-counseling/) --- ### [pre-marital counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/pre-marital-counseling/) --- ### [gender affirming care](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/gender-affirming-care/) --- ### [teen therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/teen-therapy/) --- ### [relationships](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/relationships/) --- ### [relationship issues](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/relationship-issues/) --- ### [SAD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sad/) --- ### [seasonal affective disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/seasonal-affective-disorder/) --- ### [Therapy Modalities](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-modalities/) --- ### [goal setting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/goal-setting/) --- ### [postpartum](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/postpartum/) --- ### [perinatal](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/perinatal/) --- ### [hormones](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/hormones/) --- ### [women's health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/womens-health/) --- ### [obsessive compulsive disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/) --- ### [phobias](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/phobias/) --- ### [dentist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/dentist/) --- ### [burnout](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/burnout/) --- ### [ADHD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/adhd/) --- ### [neurodivergent](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/neurodivergent/) --- ### [BDD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bdd/) --- ### [BED](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bed/) --- ### [stress](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/stress/) --- ### [menopause](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/menopause/) --- ### [art therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/art-therapy/) --- ### [inner child healing](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/inner-child-healing/) --- ### [OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ocd/) --- ### [boundaries](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/boundaries/) --- ### [people pleasing](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/people-pleasing/) --- ### [Gottman Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/gottman-therapy/) --- ### [confidence](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/confidence/) --- ### [Holidays](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/holidays/) --- ### [Our Practice](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/our-practice/) --- ### [Motherhood](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/motherhood/) --- ### [self compassion](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/self-compassion/) --- ### [self love](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/self-love/) --- ### [sex Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sex-therapy/) --- ### [bisexuality](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bisexuality/) --- ### [low fee therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/low-fee-therapy/) --- ### [birthday blues](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/birthday-blues/) --- ### [attachment styles](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/attachment-styles/) --- ### [somatic therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/somatic-therapy/) --- ### [childhood trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/childhood-trauma/) --- ### [highly sensitive person](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/highly-sensitive-person/) --- ### [sex therapist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sex-therapist/) --- ### [ERP](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/erp/) --- ### [alcohol](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/alcohol/) --- ### [dating](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/dating/) --- ### [body focused repetitive behaviors](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/body-focused-repetitive-behaviors/) --- ### [For parents](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/for-parents/) --- ### [post-wedding blues](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/post-wedding-blues/) --- ### [life transitions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/life-transitions/) --- ### [marital counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/marital-counseling/) --- ### [post-wedding depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/post-wedding-depression/) --- ### [get unstuck](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/get-unstuck/) --- ### [stuck in a rut](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/stuck-in-a-rut/) --- ### [eating disorder recovery](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/eating-disorder-recovery/) --- ### [BFRB](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bfrb/) --- ### [trichotillomania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trichotillomania/) --- ### [overstimulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/overstimulation/) --- ### [therapy for moms](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-for-moms/) --- ### [postpartum depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/postpartum-depression/) --- ### [postpartum anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/postpartum-anxiety/) --- ### [young adults](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/young-adults/) --- ### [quarter-life crisis](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/quarter-life-crisis/) --- ### [rejection sensitivity](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/rejection-sensitivity/) --- ### [hypersensitivity](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/hypersensitivity/) --- ### [young adult therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/young-adult-therapy/) --- ### [LGBTQ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/lgbtq/) --- ### [therapy for teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-for-teens/) --- ### [mourning](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/mourning/) --- ### [political anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/political-anxiety/) --- ### [hormonal imbalance](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/hormonal-imbalance/) --- ### [women's hormones](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/womens-hormones/) --- ### [HAES](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/haes/) --- ### [binge eating disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/binge-eating-disorder/) --- ### [intuitive eating](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/intuitive-eating/) --- ### [sober](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sober/) --- ### [sobriety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sobriety/) --- ### [alcohol use disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/alcohol-use-disorder/) --- ### [IFS](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ifs/) --- ### [Internal Family Systems](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/internal-family-systems/) --- ### [sexual trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sexual-trauma/) --- ### [happiness anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/happiness-anxiety/) --- ### [OCD compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ocd-compulsions/) --- ### [OCD checking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ocd-checking/) --- ### [exposure and response prevention](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/exposure-and-response-prevention/) --- ### [OCD subtypes](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ocd-subtypes/) --- ### [tweens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/tweens/) --- ### [social media](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/social-media/) --- ### [Tiktok trends](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/tiktok-trends/) --- ### [self diagnosis](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/self-diagnosis/) --- ### [teen social media](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/teen-social-media/) --- ### [medication](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/medication/) --- ### [medication management](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/medication-management/) --- ### [ssris](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/ssris/) --- ### [psychiatry](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/psychiatry/) --- ### [emotional trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/emotional-trauma/) --- ### [mental trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/mental-trauma/) --- ### [intern](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/intern/) --- ### [therapy for women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-for-women/) --- ### [matrescence](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/matrescence/) --- ### [south asian therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/south-asian-therapy/) --- ### [culturally sensitive therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/culturally-sensitive-therapy/) --- ### [couples intensive](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/couples-intensive/) --- ### [couples intensive therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/couples-intensive-therapy/) --- ### [crisis therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/crisis-therapy/) --- ### [Internet Safety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/internet-safety/) --- ### [Gen Z](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/gen-z/) --- ### [physical trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/physical-trauma/) --- ### [flashbacks](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/flashbacks/) --- ### [trauma flashback](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trauma-flashback/) --- ### [pet loss](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/pet-loss/) --- ### [pet grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/pet-grief/) --- ### [grief and loss](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/grief-and-loss/) --- ### [depressed](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/depressed/) --- ### [boundaries for teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/boundaries-for-teens/) --- ### [loss](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/loss/) --- ### [death](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/death/) --- ### [bereavement](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/bereavement/) --- ### [coaching](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/coaching/) --- ### [life coaching](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/life-coaching/) --- ### [family therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/family-therapy/) --- ### [parental estrangement](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/parental-estrangement/) --- ### [family boundaries](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/family-boundaries/) --- ### [mental compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/mental-compulsions/) --- ### [compulsions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/compulsions/) --- ### [black and white thinking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/black-and-white-thinking/) --- ### [all or nothing thinking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/all-or-nothing-thinking/) --- ### [CBT](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/cbt/) --- ### [cognitive distortions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/cognitive-distortions/) --- ### [Narcissist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/narcissist/) --- ### [Narcissism](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/narcissism/) --- ### [Abuse](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/abuse/) --- ### [gaslighting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/gaslighting/) --- ### [manipulation](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/manipulation/) --- ### [therapy for young women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-for-young-women/) --- ### [tiktok](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/tiktok/) --- ### [New Year's Resolutions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/new-years-resolutions/) --- ### [Brainspotting](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/brainspotting/) --- ### [Trauma therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trauma-therapy/) --- ### [birth trauma](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/birth-trauma/) --- ### [sober friends](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sober-friends/) --- ### [SAD Therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sad-therapy/) --- ### [divorce](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/divorce/) --- ### [teenagers](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/teenagers/) --- ### [grief therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/grief-therapy/) --- ### [teen grief](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/teen-grief/) --- ### [EDMR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/edmr/) --- ### [EMDR therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/emdr-therapy/) --- ### [CPTSD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/cptsd/) --- ### [Complex PTSD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/complex-ptsd/) --- ### [Collingswood](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/collingswood/) --- ### [NJ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/nj/) --- ### [Office Locations](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/office-locations/) --- ### [Therapy in New Jersey](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/therapy-in-new-jersey/) --- ### [EMDR for anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/emdr-for-anxiety/) --- ### [anxious](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/anxious/) --- ### [Intrusive Thoughts](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/intrusive-thoughts/) --- ### [Scrupulosity](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/scrupulosity/) --- ### [Moral OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/moral-ocd/) --- ### [Relationship Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/relationship-anxiety/) --- ### [Anxious Attachment](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/anxious-attachment/) --- ### [Dating Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/dating-anxiety/) --- ### [Psychiatrist](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/psychiatrist/) --- ### [Nurse Practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/nurse-practitioner/) --- ### [Psych NP](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/psych-np/) --- ### [Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/psychiatric-nurse-practitioner/) --- ### 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assault](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/sexual-assault/) --- ### [domestic violence](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/domestic-violence/) --- ### [trauma informed therapy](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trauma-informed-therapy/) --- ### [trauma therapy for women](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/trauma-therapy-for-women/) --- ### [Narcissistic relationships](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/narcissistic-relationships/) --- ### [estrangement](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/estrangement/) --- ### [narcissistic personality disorder](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/narcissistic-personality-disorder/) --- ### [NPD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/npd/) --- ### [freeze](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/freeze/) --- ### [Magical Thinking](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/magical-thinking/) --- ### [Superstition OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/superstition-ocd/) --- ### [Trauma 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[Perinatal Mental Health](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/tag/perinatal-mental-health/) --- ## Locations ### [Old City, PA](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/location/old-city-pa/) --- ### [Center City, PA](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/location/center-city-pa/) --- ### [Virtual](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/location/virtual/) --- ### [Main Line, PA](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/location/main-line-pa/) --- ### [Collingswood NJ](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/location/collingswood-nj/) --- ## Specialties ### [Substance Use](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/substance-use/) --- ### [Eating Disorders](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/eating-disorders/) --- ### [OCD](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/ocd/) --- ### [Anxiety](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/anxiety/) --- ### [Depression](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/depression/) --- ### [Parenthood](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/parenthood/) --- ### 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[LGBTQ+](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/lgbtq/) --- ### [EMDR](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/emdr/) --- ### [Faith Transitions](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/faith-transitions/) --- ### [Chronic Pain/Illness](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/chronic-pain-illness/) --- ### [Teens](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/teens/) --- ### [Children](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/children/) --- ### [PCOS](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/pcos/) --- ### [Premarital Counseling](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/specialty/premarital-counseling/) --- ## States ### [Pennsylvania](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/state/pennsylvania/) --- ### [Delaware](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/state/delaware/) --- ### [South Carolina](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/state/south-carolina/) --- ### [California](https://therapyforwomencenter.com/state/california/) --- ### 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