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Can you imagine if we replaced the behavior of eating with something as natural as going to the bathroom? I’ll paint the picture for you…4 women sitting around the table. Three of the women are able to leave their water untouched while another keeps pushing it away and then sneaking a sip! Finally, flushed now, she scurries away from the table to go to the bathroom only to slunk back to the table and cry, “I can’t believe I’ve had to get up to pee three times tonight! You guys, I”M SOO BAD!” Comical right? But the representation is right on point.
Next, I googled “men feeling guilty.” This first article that popped up is an article from PsychCentral entitled,” “How to Deal with Women’s Emotions.” The remaining results primary discussed how men want to leave you but feel too guilty about it, or even more fun, men making women feel guilty about their issues. I then looked at the pictures of this search. *Brace yourselves.* There were zero, I repeat, zero pictures of men with food. In fact, only the first three photos were just men. By picture #4, there were pictures of women feeling guilty while the man looks annoyed and couples in arguments. There was certainly no pictures of men feeling guilty for eating a steak.
Compare this to men. All the photos you find when you google “men eating” show pictures of men “chomping” down on food, or enjoying food with their friends. There is no guilt, there is no hesitation or need to sneak or lie about what they are eating. Also, to be clear, men have their own issues associated with food, body image, and advertisements and men absolutely have eating disorders. However, if you look at the photos of men eating versus women on the whole, men are represented as having a significantly healthier relationship with food than women.
It’s no wonder when examining a minute portion of advertisements and social media that women have issues with food and sexuality. Women are taught to feel guilty about their bodies, their sexuality and their appetites. And while I am very clear that there has been a lot of progress, there is a reason Amy Schumer’s sketch is so relevant Its one of those sketches that as a woman, you laugh “almost” too hard, as if your giggles may reveal that you relate a little too much. Again, not with the cyber bullying, but with eating so much cake you fear your friends will actually think you’re a monster!
So in closing this week, I leave you with one therapy nugget, a “therapy snack ” if you will, no pun intended…to take away from this week’s #fiveminutetherapy,..
Dear woman, go be YOUR BAD SELF! The world needs you. All of you. The good, the bad and the what you perceive as ugly.
with grace,
Amanda